


One Day at a Time

by charybdis_nerdrage



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, M/M, No Smut, Slow Burn, Warnings May Change, didnt intend for this to be that long haha, guys being dudes, headcanon heavy, many minor characters, please comment, somewhat canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 91,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24194980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charybdis_nerdrage/pseuds/charybdis_nerdrage
Summary: - October 23rd, 2077 -The day the bombs fell.Jacob Roberts was a pre-war man born in Seattle. He's lived in a lot of places, moved to a lot of different countries and states, and just when he thought he'd be able to settle down and earn a functional family, the bombs drop. Thanks to the experiments of a capitalist vault company, he's flung into the world of the post-apocalyptic version of Boston, and jumps for the only familiar thing he knows, the army. He meets people, falls in love, and reevaluates what he thought his sexuality was. The problem is, things are just as confusing 200 years after the bombs. Sometimes the people you decide to stand for aren't as good as they say they are. Sometimes the people you trust and love aren't what you think they are. Sometimes the end of the story isn't as clear as you thought it was.And in order to survive, you just have to take it one day at a time.
Relationships: Paladin Danse/Male Sole Survivor, Paladin Danse/Sole Survivor, Paladin Danse/Sole Survivor (Fallout)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 57





	1. Date Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the quality improves the farther in you get.

The bombs had dropped. That was the last thing Jacob even remembered. Maybe it was the last thing that had happened to him before the cryopod opened, pushing him out of the frigid, stiff leather cushioning that had kept him prisoner for god knows how long. He fell to the floor, his vision blurry and his breathing heavy and ragged. He gasped for breath, holding himself up with one arm to look blearily around the dark enclosed space of the vault, what they had promised him would be a perfect getaway from the apocalypse. Jacob let himself fall to the cold metal floor onto his side, heaving air into his lungs like he hadn’t breathed in hundreds of years. He felt himself coming back slowly, however still shaking from either the cold or sheer terror. Then, just like that, he remembered what had happened. He was out of breath again, heaving himself off the floor to stumble towards the pod in front of his own. He leaned against the glass, trying to look at the figure inside. Nora. They had shot her, right? Those men. Why couldn’t he remember? It was only a few minutes ago. He pushed a lever up, leaning on the console to hold himself upright off the ground. The pod hissed open, revealing the state of his now dead wife.

She was pale, pale as the dead. Her body frozen in a perpetual state of terror, the hole in her head still looked fresh, though frozen in time. Jacob let out a curse and a sob, gripping the edge of the pod like his life depended on it.

“Oh Nora..” He cried, his shoulders trembling with emotion. He reached over and pried the golden band off of her frozen finger, now gripping it in his fist and holding it up to his heart. Nora had been the love of his life, and it felt like she still was. Jacob would wake up who knows when and go back to taking care of his son, he would wake up and watch his wife get ready for work while he grumbled about sleeping in.

They had taken Shaun too, those bastards. If they were even real. Jacob cried, trying to wipe his tears away.

“I promise I’ll get him back…” He promised to her, trying desperately to hold the ring even tighter in his fist. “He’ll be back and I’ll take care of him. I’ll make sure he’s okay.” He continued. He held in a shaky breath and pressed down the lever, letting the cryopod hiss shut.

There was nothing Jacob could do now. If this was a dream it was definitely his most twisted, and he had his fair share of awful nightmares. Par for the course when you’re a veteran of war these days. Jacob trudged down the dark vault hallways, the wedding ring still tucked safely in his hand as he walked. His stumble had become more of a limp, the feeling coming back to his lower body. The pipes above his head creaked, weighed down by time and wear, it was a miracle that the wall above his head hadn’t caved in given the state of the place. Jacob picked a security baton off of the floor, carefully waving it around, feeling the heft of the thing. He hadn’t used a baton in years, god knows why it was in the middle of a random hallway. Were there even still people around? Jacob didn’t know, and he hoped that whatever was down here didn’t bite. Just to be safe, he held the baton in his good hand, the wedding ring in the other. He needed to get out of this vault and up to the surface. Maybe then he’d wake up out of this nightmare. 

The light above Jacob flickered, as if in warning. Sure enough, something big and black came crawling down the side of the wall from the pipes and towards him. The thing was huge, about a foot long and half a food wide, with six disgusting legs. It was a cockroach! He had dealt with those back at home, but nothing like this. He gasped and stepped back, tightening his grip on the security baton. The monster hissed at him, spitting up what looked like acid onto his calf. It burned through the blue vault suit and began to bite and sting at his leg. Jacob winced and brought the baton back down on the beast, it only took a second shot to it’s head for it to collapse onto it’s back and die.

Jacob let out the breath he was holding, relieved. The thing was dead, he even gave it one last good whack just to make sure. He looked down at his calf, examining the new hole in the pristine vault suit the scientists had given him the second he had arrived. It wasn’t like he cared about the thing, he was already chaffing in a few places, so it wasn’t the most comfortable thing. He shook himself and decided to move on.

There were a few roaches in his way as he walked through the vault, there were even a few big ones in the reactor room, about twice as big as the first one. Jacob wouldn’t way he was impressed, but he was definitely disgusted. Finally, he made it to the familiar first room. The one with the crates and consoles, and the two yellow swinging gates. It was a strange sight to see. He could already see what looked like years worth of decay running down the metal walls on either side of the room. He sighed and examined the huge blue and yellow vault door in his way. He hadn’t noticed it when he first got here. Maybe because of the adrenaline and the fact that it was open at the time. He looked around for some sort of key until he found the console to the side. He stepped over to it, pressing the huge red button. The PA system came on, making Jacob flinch.

“ _ Pip-Boy system needed for Vault door Access. Thank you for choosing Vault-Tec!”  _ Came an extremely robotic and cheery voice. 

Jacob frowned. A Pip-Boy? He hadn’t used one of those in years, and it was only the Pip-Boy 2000, not any of the newer updates. His had been military issued, it helped him stay alive in some of his worst memories. He shuddered at the thought. Now wasn’t the time to look back. He needed to find his way to the surface, that was his only way home. He looked down at the ground. There was a skeleton. His heart sunk down through his stomach at the sight. The dead man was in a lab coat, it looked like the Pip-Boy barely hanging off the skeletal wrist. Jacob stooped down and lifted the computer off. He didn’t want to disturb the dead.

Jacob clipped it onto his wrist and turned the computer on, the green screen lit up with a happy dancing Vault-boy that he remembered fondly from all of the Vault-Tec ads that had played over and over again on the tv. When the computer’s main menu popped up, Jacob could even see his heart rate jump as he noticed the date on the corner of his screen. October 23rd, 2277.

That had to be wrong. There was absolutely no way that was right. 200 years? Really? Jacob had thought maybe 40, but 200?  _ No,  _ he reassured himself, plugging the Pip-Boy into the console and pressing the button. He watched the huge vault door hiss and creak as it pried itself open. He tried to distract himself from the new, terrifying weight on his wrist as he walked through the huge vault door and to the ancient elevator. He took a deep breath, feeling the elevator start to glide up the shaft. It was a long ride, Jacob looked up at the door on the top, watching it gradually open and let more and more light in by the moment. It was a bright gorgeous yellow light, a familiar afternoon. Maybe he’d make it to the surface and find everything there like it was supposed to be. That wasn’t what he found.

Jacob looked out at what once was Sanctuary Hills, the spot he had chosen to settle down with his wife and child. The vines had grown through three of his neighbors' houses, the roads cracked and broken as if they meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. What once was gorgeous luscious green lawns had become nothing but old try grass and vines. Some of the houses were completely in shambles. Jacob looked out, completely shocked and silent. The heat of the sun beat down on him, no clouds or shady trees to protect him. The heavy weight of his Pip-Boy felt strange, the wedding ring still gripped in his hand even after all of this time. He had nothing. This wasn’t a twisted nightmare his brain had come up with, this was reality. Maybe it really was 2277, maybe nothing meant anything anymore. Maybe it was all just one big lie, and this was heaven, and he had died along with Nora. This looked like hell though, if Nora wasn’t even here. Jacob’s vision blurred with unshed tears, the reality of his situation fully setting in on him. What was there to do?

He didn’t know the answer to that question, so he just started sprinting home down the old dirt roads. He ran past the fence, nearly tripped over the skeleton of the nice old lady that lived down the street and brought cookies to every neighborhood potluck. He felt his stomach churn as he ignored the skeletal remains of all of his friends, but he ignored it as he ran across the old wooden bridge that ran over the stream. Thank god water was still around, there had to be something around here. He started heading for his house at a desperate sprint. He flung the door open and looked around, digging through old kitchen cabinets for anything,  _ anything. _ But there was nothing.

Soon, Jacob found himself standing in the middle of his old living room, staring helplessly out the window. No faces greeted him. It was just him. He was truly alone. This wasn’t a dream, this was the end of the world. 

“What do I do now…?” He asked the room around him. The walls gave him no answer, the floor didn’t even bother lending an ear. He looked out the window in the direction of Concord. There had to be people there, even if it was just a few scavengers, he needed to know people were still around and ready to help. He sighed. “That’s one place to start.” He said simply.

After digging through the neighborhood, he found a good set of replacement clothes, specifically an old set of Military fatigues in someone’s closet. He happily changed, grateful to wear anything else but the vault suit. He even found an old back he stuffed a few old cans of cram into along with the wedding rings. He didn’t have much, but he couldn’t carry it all in his hands. But the best thing he found was a 10mm pistol still in good condition on someone’s bedroom desk. He put on the holster and put the gun away, counting the rounds hidden around the home. He had a way to protect himself now. And he was no stranger to a gun. Anything else he could scavenge was old cans of food and a single bottle of Nuka Cola. He could survive off that for a few days with some rationing. 

He started walking across the rickety old bridge not long after, once the air grew cooler and better for travel. He didn’t need to travel far before he was stopped by what sounded like a dog whimpering. Jacob frowned, pulling out his gun and stepping cautiously towards the source of the noise. 

“Hello? Anyone there?” He asked, looking around. Something poked its head out from the bushes, revealing itself to be a German Shepard with a limp. Jacob frowned deeply and put away his gun, stooping down to the dogs level. “Hey boy,” He greeted. The dog whimpered in response. “It’s okay, are you hurt?” He asked, the dog limped closer so Jacob could get a better look. The dog had a nasty bite taken out of it’s leg. “Oh boy that looks nasty…” He sighed, standing up and looking around the area. He saw the old Red Rocket truck stop, the same one he used to get coffee at every monday. “How about we go look around in there, there has to be a first aid kit somewhere in there, right?”

He and the dog walked towards the truck stop, and once they got in Jacob started digging through old cans of oil and turpentine, looking through the bathroom and the single staffroom just in case there was any first aid. He found one, sitting down in the dirt next to the dog and helping it wrap the wound in bandages. He pumped a stimpak into it, stroking the dog’s surprisingly soft fur to sooth it as it healed.

“You gotta have a name, right?” He asked. “Dogs have names. I guess it’s a little harder to know now, I don’t think anyone is gonna use those regulated tags anymore.” Jacob chuckled, now just petting the dog. He scratched behind its ears and nodded. “I’m just gonna call you dog for now. I’ll come up with something. You can be my buddy, I need the company pretty bad right now.” He sighed softly. The dog leaned against his hand, and Jacob merely hummed in response. It was already getting dark, maybe he should stay here for the night? That might be the safe way to go. He nodded and got up, heading inside. The dog got up and followed him faithfully. Some of the lights were still working in the building, surprisingly. He might just get some sleep after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write something again! I just feel like writing some fallout fanfiction, sue me, plus I wanna make this one last a long time. I have plenty of free time, so it shouldn't be hard.
> 
> If you like what you read please comment, it'll get the next chapter out even faster. If I want this fic to be long, I need to be motivated.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you're curious. I don't post anything ever, but if you wanna message me it's always there.


	2. October 24th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and dog head out the next day to Concord, but they start to hear gunshots. They decide to continue past the city, in hopes of finding directions to another place to go. Jacob is clueless, at least until he finds some directions and a distress call in Cambridge.

The trek wasn’t long, but it was considerably longer compared to what Jacob was used to before the dreaded war. However, now that Jacob had Dog by his side, he felt considerably less lonely. He had a real companion, a pretty bloodthirsty one too, as the dog had survived multiple years out in a wasteland like this. His old combat boots clunked down the shredded asphalt, torn by decades of neglect and erosion. The more Jacob thought about it the worse he felt. Maybe it really had been 200 years, not just because of the roads, but because of how the geiger on his Pip-Boy wasn’t going off like crazy. It had been a long time since the bombs, and if it wasn’t 200 years then it was definitely a long time. 

The closer they got to Concord the more obvious it was that they weren’t remotely welcomed there. Jacob crouched down, staying close to broken down building walls so he could get a peek at the commotion. Dog crept up beside him, staying as quiet as a dog could.

Gunfire, lots and lots of gunfire. Not the familiar kind he knew back in the Military, but the kind that felt disorganized, like a bunch of teenagers picked up some guns and decided to figure it out. Come to think of it, that probably wasn’t very far off from what had actually happened. From the sound of the weapons, these guys had shotguns and rifles, Jacob’s pistol was nothing in comparison. He looked over at Dog apprehensively, the dog cocked it’s head to the side curiously, maybe wondering why Jacob was so nervous. He looked back at the battle. Did he really want to get involved in something like that…? Not really. It was a losing battle. He might as well just leave. 

His heart ached with guilt as he crept around the buildings, so he could take the route to the road from the back. There were too many  _ what ifs _ going off in his head right now, he couldn’t focus. When Jacob was at the road, a safe distance away from Concord, he frowned. Where the hell could he go now? Concord was out of the question. He looked down at his Pip-Boy for answers. It gave him a blank map of Boston, the city he knew so well. He’d have to trust his instincts on this one, of course. He looked down at Dog.

“Would Cambridge be a good idea…?” He questioned, almost expecting an answer. Of course, Dog merely barked. The effort was appreciated with a pat on the head. “Cambridge it is, I guess. It’s probably unanimous.” He decided with a slight shrug. The two walked out into the bright sun and down the empty road, a shadow of what Jacob once called home.

-

The sun was already beginning to darken.  _ Wow, _ the journey to Cambridge was much longer than he thought. Dog wasn’t complaining, of course, which is what kept Jacob going all the way until he saw what looked like a woman next to a huge beast. He frowned, his steps growing cautious. She was waiting on the side of the road, a cigarette still lit in her mouth. She looked tired, but still menacing, and she was giving Jacob a strange look.

“What are ya doing out here, blondie? You lost or somethin’?” She drawled, Jacob stepped closer, Dog close next to him.

“Uh, yeah,” Jacob shrugged, trying to relax his posture the best he could. “You could say that.”

“The name’s Carla.” She said, sticking out one hand to shake. “I’m a trader. Jackasses call me Trashcan Carla.” 

“... Trashcan Carla, huh.” Jacob mumbled, now completely distracted by the huge beast next to her. It was a cow.  _ Probably.  _ The thing was huge, it’s skin shrunk and snug around it’s muscles and bone. It looked disgusting, but those details were nothing compared to the two heads. Two heads, four blinking eyes, and god knows how many teeth. Carla snapped her fingers in front of his face to catch his attention.

“Your head stuck in the clouds or something?” She snapped. Jacob flinched and looked back at her. “I asked if you wanted to buy something, blondie.” She grumbled deeply.

“Oh uh…” Jacob didn’t have any money on him.

“You got caps?”

“Caps?” Jacob blinked. “You mean like… bottle caps?”

“Fuckin’ hell.” Carla grumbled. “You some sort of Vault Dweller?”  _ What the hell was that supposed to mean?  _ Jacob just nodded dumbly, not even slightly following the conversation. Carla grumbled and stuck her lit cigarette back into her mouth. She fished out a small pouch and pulled out a single Nuka Cola Bottle Cap out. “This is a cap. You use it to pay for things like guns, food, and hookers.” She wheezed at her own awful joke. Jacob stiffened uncomfortably. “I’m gonna assume you’re dirt poor?” Jacob nodded again. “Alright blondie, then sell me something.”

Jacob slid his bag off of his shoulder and started digging around. Two cans of Cram, a Nuka Cola, and his wedding rings. For a second he thought about selling them, but the idea made his skin crawl. He would have to find something else to sell. He ended up just selling her a can of cram for a few caps. Carla even threw in a pouch to carry them in because she ‘didn’t wanna see him get eaten alive’. 

“Thank you.” He thanked her politely. The corners of her lips quirked up slightly, a sign of approval.

“No problem Blondie, need anything else?” 

“Where do I go?” Jacob asked. He hoped it didn’t sound entirely desperate, despite how damn true that reality was. Carla thought for a moment, exhaling smoke out into the air before taking another drag from her cigarette.

“Diamond City.” She answered. “Best place to go when you need safety. They’re a bunch of pricks, but well-protected ones.”

“Better than nothing.” Jacob mumbled.

“Exactly. Luckily, you’re on the right road. Gotta head past Cambridge and through Boston. Basically, you just gotta go in a straight line and try not to die. They’ll let any poor sap in.” Carla explained nonchalauntly. Jacob took note of her instructions. “The place has huge green walls and a million goddamn signs. You won’t miss it.” 

“Thank you so much.” He said happily. She chuckled.

“Most polite kid I’ve met on the road. Try not to die. I’d like to see you last out here.” She told him.

“Yes ma’am.” He smiled, watching her start to walk away with her beast beside her. She laughed.

“You are a riot kid, I hope I see you again.” That was the last thing she said before walking down the road in the opposite direction. Jacob looked out at the Horizon. Thank god he was going in the correct direction. 

-

As Jacob and Dog grew closer to Cambridge, the sound of Gunshots got louder and louder. He sighed irritably and turned on his Pip-Boy, intending to check for any radio signals. Maybe they still had old music stations…? Well they did. There was Diamond City Radio right at the top, But there was also a Distress Signal very close in range. He frowned. It definitely had something to do with the gunfire. He turned it on, almost expecting static. What he got was a repeated message.

“This is Scribe Haylen, Brotherhood Dispatch Alpha-3118, Commonwealth. Calling for backup, repeat, we need backup. Four knights dead, one badly injured.  _ Message Repeat. _ ” The signal played over and over again. Jacob felt strange. This didn’t feel like the fight back in Concord he snuck past, this felt real. This felt like it was his own people. The only thing remotely familiar in this goddamn wasteland. It sounded like he was back in the Military again. He hadn’t even decided what to do until he was walking towards the source of the signal with his gun in hand. Dog whimpered and followed behind him, clearly concerned. 

Cambridge Police Station was in terrible shape, and the deafening sounds of high-tech gunshots were not doing the place any favors. Jacob crept along the back alley, staying close to the brick wall. He made it to a gate, looking through at the battle before him. There were monsters, all human-like in nature, but barely. They had big, black, beady eyes and gaping mouths. Their skin was just like that cow monster that Carla kept with her for some reason, wrinkly and tight against the monster’s muscle and bone. It was straight out of a horror movie, just like the deep growls that came from their throats. Jacob continued to scan the battlefield. There was a woman, barely fending them off with a laser pistol. She was protecting a heavily injured man in an unfamiliar uniform. They weren’t alone, though. Deep into battle was one literal knight in shining power armor. Their helmet was on, and they had a large laser rifle in hand. They were doing a fantastic job fending off the hoards of monsters. Jacob held his breath at the sight. _ Now there was the professional he had been looking for. _

Without even thinking, Jacob jumped into battle.

“A civilian has joined the battle!” The armor-clad soldier yelled. “Remain cautious!” 

Jacob rolled his eyes and started shooting at monsters. They were fast, but he knew how to shoot. Dog snarled and grabbed a monster’s arm and tugged it down before it could get to Jacob, giving him the perfect opportunity to blast at it’s head. He, Dog, and the unknown soldier fought together well, shooting one after the other. The soldier’s rifle disintegrated the monsters into literal ash, which made them a force to be reckoned with while Jacob acted as support. A monster snarled and slashed at Jacob’s arm, grabbing it and lurching forward to bite into his skin. Jacob stumbled back in fear, before jamming his gun into the monster’s gut and knocking it back. Dog jumped for it, and Jacob was able to finish it off even with a damaged arm.

Finally, when the hoard subsided, all that was left was the small group, all breathing heavily. The woman let out a relieved sigh, turning back to the injured soldier below her.

“It’ll be alright Rhys,” She said softly. Jacob’s attention was taken away from them when he heard the armored soldier’s armor hiss and clank as they turned towards Jacob. They reached up and took off the helmet of the power armor, revealing his face. 

Admittedly, he was definitely attractive. He had a round face with deep, dark eyes and thick eyebrows. He looked angry, but also relieved. Truthfully Jacob couldn’t really tell what the guy was feeling, his face was so set in cold stone.

“Civilian,” He began, sending him cautious glares from his height. “State your purpose, or I will have to escort you from the premises.”

“Oh uh-” Jacob blinked. He didn’t really know why he had joined the fight. “I uhm… heard your distress call. I thought you might need some help.” He clumsily explained, looking anxiously up at the soldier.

“Admittedly yes, we desperately needed the reinforcements.” The soldier sighed heavily, averting his gaze from Jacob. “We thank you for your service to the Brotherhood. I am Paladin Danse, and those are Knight Rhys and Scribe Haylen.” Danse explained, pointing out Rhys and Haylen next to the door. Rhys was badly injured but clearly alive, Haylen was tending to his wounds the best she could. Jacob had a lot of questions, he looked back up at Danse and decided against it. He’d rather stay on this guy’s good side. And that meant not annoying him. “You may come inside the Police Station. There Scribe Haylen can take care of your wounds.” Danse said. 

“Wounds?” Jacob blinked and looked down at his stinging arm. Sure enough, one of those monsters had bitten a gash into his forearm, and it was bleeding pretty badly. Adrenaline had eased the pain, but now that he knew the wound was there it came back with a strong vengeance. Jacob bit down on his lip and nodded. “Yes sir.” He nodded and walked towards the door. Rhys gave him a dirty glare as he passed. He was being helped inside by Haylen, and the Knight had an obvious limp. 

The inside had a few Ammunition cases scattered around, along with a few ancient mattresses pressed up against the walls. There were 4 seen, and there were probably more in the next room. Jacob pulled out an old chair from a still intact desk and sat down, waiting for everyone to come inside.

Once Danse trudged in after everyone, he disappeared into another room, his power armor still on tight. Jacob watched curiously, he didn’t even notice Dog nudging his hand for a few seconds too long. When he was pulled back to reality, Haylen was pulling up a chair next to him, a first aid kit tucked safely under her arm. Jacob stuck out his injured arm, he didn’t need any instruction. Haylen smiled and began to patch him up.

“So… you just showed up to help, huh? You really are our knight in shining armor, huh?” She implored, trying to strike up conversation.

“I mean yeah, I guess. From what it sounded like in your distress call you guys seriously needed help.” Jacob nodded slightly.

“Oh definitely, we’re glad you showed up, even if  _ some of us  _ won’t admit it.” She asserted, sending a pointed glare at Rhys, who was laying down on one of the mattresses. She chuckled and looked back at her work, then something on Jacob’s wrist caught her eye. “Is that a Pip-Boy?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, it is. I got it pretty recently,” He admitted. “It’s gotten me through some tough situations. It’s how I got your distress signal.”

“Can I take a closer look?” She asked, finally wrapping his wound in gauze and bandages.

“Definitely, I think it’s got some issues.” Jacob said, reaching over to carefully unclip the computer from his wrist. He handed it to her, and she took it eagerly.

“I haven’t gotten my hands on such a well-preserved Pip-Boy. Normally I’d ask to take it back and study it, but I think you deserve it way more than I do.” She laughed softly, turning the dials and looking through the computer’s interface. 

“Take it back?” Jacob mumbled.

“Oh yeah, that’s kinda my job. Well, it’s our job.” She explained, her eyes still glued on the Pip-Boy. “The Brotherhood of Steel specializes in recovering old pre-war tech, of course that’s only one of them, but that’s the part I focus on the most as a Scribe. Everything else is Rhys and Danse’s job.”

“Is the brotherhood like… a couple hundred people?”

“Oh  _ no,  _ it’s like, thousands.” She laughed at Jacob’s surprise. “Don’t get Danse going on about it, he doesn’t know when to stop talking when it comes to the Brotherhood.”

“Yeah I wasn’t planning on asking too many questions.” Jacob admitted with a chuckle. Haylen gave him his Pip-Boy back.

“Well, the date is pretty off on your Pip-Boy.” She explained. Jacob nodded.  _ There it is,  _ it couldn’t have been 200 years. “It’s actually the year  _ 2287 _ , not 2277.”

_ Oh. Nevermind. _ Jacob didn’t reply, he only sighed.

“Thank you for fixing it,” He said. 

Finding out that it had been longer since the bomb’s dropped didn’t feel good. At least when it had been 2277, he had some form of deniability. But now he had someone telling him the year, to his face. She was very polite about it luckily, but the knowledge didn’t sit right with him at all. Jacob quickly realized how much he missed home. He missed how clean it was, hell, he even missed taking orders and doing his job, no matter how weird that kind of thing was to admit. Maybe this Brotherhood idea wasn’t so bad. Maybe this would be his only opportunity to find something familiar to call his home, hell, even his family. This could be the first step to feeling normal.

Danse came clunking in, distracting Jacob from his thoughts.

“Civilian,” Danse addressed him. “I would like to test your abilities out on the field.” He explained. “Tomorrow you’re going out with me to Arcjet systems. We badly need some technology from there, and I need backup to help me get it. That makes this the perfect opportunity to test your abilities, if you’re interested.” Danse Towered over Jacob, it was incredibly intimidating, but Jacob had already made up his mind.

“Of course. I’ll do it.” He said. The corners of Danse’s mouth quirked up in the faintest of smiles. 

“Outstanding.” He praised, glad Jacob had accepted. “We’ll head out tomorrow morning whenever you’re ready.”

“Yes sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm doing alright at this, I'm trying my best to fill the chapters as best I can. I'm really going to try and push through this until the end, I hope people are actually reading and enjoying this story. If not, I'll probably leave the story after a while. Who knows where this story will take me, ya know?
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you wanna follow or message me.


	3. October 25th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse, Jacob, and Dog all head out together towards Arcjet Systems to get something for Scribe Haylen. Danse is guarded, but clearly appreciative of Jacob's company. Maybe this is Jacob's chance to prove that he is perfect material for the Brotherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story Title: Date Unknown ---> One Day at a Time

When Jacob woke up from a long night’s sleep, he could feel Dog’s tongue on his cheek. His bleary eyes cracked open, he looked down at Dog, who was curled up tight next to Jacob on top of the uncomfortable mattress in the Cambridge Police Station. Jacob let out a soft sigh, reaching up to pat Dog’s head as he sat up from the bed, stretching slightly so maybe the minor pains in his back would go away. This mattress was nothing like his bed back home, that was probably because of the mold, or whatever the hell had grown in this thing after 200 years of neglect. He tried his best not to think too hard about it, given that he would be sleeping on beds like this for the rest of his life. He needed to at least have some form of plausible deniability. 

As he looked across the room, he noticed Scribe Haylen stepping into the main lobby of the police station. She looked at him and smiled happily. Jacob didn’t feel any better, but he definitely appreciated how positive she was on a daily basis. He was jealous, in a way.

“Good morning,” She greeted, walking up to him and Dog. “Alright so, Paladin Danse says he’s ready to leave when you are.” She instructed, absentmindedly fidgeting with the glove to her scribe uniform. “Basically that means you can go around the station and take whatever you need, within reason, of course. I’ll let you take a few stimpaks from my supply behind the desk.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah I assumed I’d need some supplies for a mission like this.” He sighed softly, hauling himself up from the old mattress.

“Yeah, who knows what could be at Arcjet,” She admitted. “It’s a dangerous mission, but a very necessary one. I’m not sure what I would do if one or both of you didn’t come back.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep Danse alive. I’m gonna assume the feeling’s mutual.” Jacob joked, Haylen chuckled softly in response.

“Oh definitely, he won’t leave you if he knows you can’t handle it.” She assured. Jacob thanked her, flexing his legs and stretching before taking off to search the old police station for anything he might need.

There were some good supplies in here, either left behind by other brotherhood soldiers, or behind god knows what in the last 200 years. Jacob eventually decides on equipping an old right sleeve of combat armor, along with a pretty basic combat chest piece that would definitely last him a while. He took a couple Stimpaks from Haylen’s supply, along with a can or two of purified water. The best find of them all, though, was a combat rifle. The thing was in relatively good condition too, other than being pretty old. He even found the ammo he needed to use the thing in pretty good condition too. He must be lucky, he didn’t feel like pushing his way through whatever they were going to face with nothing but a beat-up old 10mm and a dream. He kept the pistol on his belt, though. Just in case. Once he was ready, he knocked on the decaying old door to the main office, where Danse was apparently staying for the time being. 

“Come in,” He heard from inside. Jacob opened the door and peeked in. The room itself was trashed, there was a mattress pressed up against the wall behind a small desk that Danse was currently sitting at. He was out of his power armor and typing at a terminal, his power armor was set in the right corner of the room facing the wall. Danse looked up at Jacob and nodded. “I assume you’re ready to leave to Arcjet Systems?” He asked.

“Yes, I am.” Jacob confirmed, tapping his foot on the floor anxiously. Danse typed a few more things than shut off the old terminal, getting up from the desk.

“I will meet you outside,” He instructed, leaning against the metal surface of the desk towards Jacob. “Please wait for me.” 

“Yes sir.” Jacob confirmed with a salute, stepped out of the room, and out of the police station. Scribe Haylen waved goodbye to him as he left, and that just left Jacob to wait outside of the police station for Danse. 

It was bright and early in the morning, it looked like. The sun was bright in the light blue sky, the edges of the horizon still shifting from yellow to blue from the sunrise only a little while ago. Jacob was slightly relieved that he hadn’t made Danse wait too long, he would hate to see Danse impatient. He was already intimidating when he was marginally pleased, who knew what his other emotions looked like. Jacob looked back at the door when he heard the familiar clank and hiss of power armor. Danse looked back at Jacob and nodded slightly, Dog made a pleased noise and trotted towards Danse happily. The Paladin looked down at Dog and smiled slightly.

“Nice to see you too… uhm-” Danse mumbled.

“Dog. His name is just Dog right now.” Jacob clarified, gently patting Dog’s head. “I know it’s a bad name, I couldn’t come up with anything on the spot.” 

“Ah well,” Danse looked at Jacob, slightly awkwardly. “I suppose you’ll come up with something.”

“Don’t have any ideas?” Jacob chuckled softly and looked back up at Danse.

“Maybe we can come up with some after we finish the mission.” The Paladin reminded, walking past Jacob and Dog, into the decaying road. Jacob just shrugged and followed the Paladin, Dog trotting along behind him.

The sun was still bright in the morning sky as they walked through the edge of cambridge. It felt strange to be out here, and it was strangely quiet too. There were no bustling cars, no more loud car horns and bustling footsteps. There was no smell wafting from a random bakery or a flower bed on the street, it was all just silence and dead, dry grass. The only thing that filled the uncomfortable silence was the sound of Danse’s power armor clanking back and forth in rhythm, along with the sound of Jacob’s boots trudging through the gravel and dry dirt. Neither of them spoke, which made Jacob feel only more uncomfortable. The cool fall breeze that blew in sent a shiver down Jacob’s back. Finally, Danse looked back slightly over his armored shoulder and began to speak. 

“The reason we are going to Arcjet Systems is for a Deep Range Transmitter.” Danse began, Jacob happily listened, anything was better than the deafening silence around him. “We need it so we can contact Brotherhood reinforcements. Our own signals just aren’t strong enough to reach as far as the Capital, even with the police station boosting the signal.”

“So you need the transmitter to amplify your signal?” Jacob asked.

“Completely correct. We can last a little while longer out here, but without the Brotherhood behind us I’m not sure how much longer that will be.” He admitted. “This isn’t the first Brotherhood expedition out into the Commonwealth.”

“What happened to the others…?” Jacob almost hesitated to ask. He already knew the answer. Danse sighed softly in response.

“The first group that was sent out here collected a great deal of data, it was a successful mission, which was outstanding for the Brotherhood. However, the second group went completely missing. Not a trace left, from what me and my team could find.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Paladin.” Jacob assured the best he could.

“It’s quite alright.” Danse said simply. “I just need to focus on not being the Brotherhood’s next failed expedition.” 

They both went quiet again, the somber note bringing their conversation to an end.

When they reached the Arcjet building, Jacob could see already that the place was probably in major disrepair. Windows were shattered, some side doors completely caved in. A part of the sleek rounded roof had come crashing down to the parking lot, which was full of 200 year old rusting cars, most of which had no windows and no tires to speak of. Danse didn’t seem put off by it, which wasn’t a surprise, and they all stopped at the front entrance to the building.

“This is an in-and-out operation. No heroics, quiet, and by the books.” Danse sternly instructed. “You stay behind me the best you can, and keep an eye on your stray bullets.”

“Don’t worry sir, I completely understand.” Jacob obeyed, following Danse inside while Dog followed after them both.

“Outstanding.” Danse said gratefully, walking through the lobby with Jacob behind.

The inside of the building is even more destroyed than the outside. Pieces of the ceiling were completely caved in, leaving some fluorescent lights to dangle from the ceiling tiles. Some of the floor tiles had been completely knocked out of place, leaving nothing but concrete and dirt in their place. Chairs were turned over, desks were caved in and covered in nothing but rubble, terminal screens were completely shattered, revealing all of the circuitry left inside. The Paladin paid the mess no mind, but Jacob couldn’t help but wince at the sight of it. As the three of them walked through the lobby and down one of the halls, Jacob noticed how it was even more quiet in here than it was outside. That was an unsettling revelation, there had to be some enemies, right? Jacob shook himself out of it. He had to remain as focused as he could, or he would get distracted and get himself killed. The silence continued to suffocate them until Jacob had to say something.

“It feels far too quiet,” Jacob noted in a hushed tone.

“Agreed.” Danse murmured back in agreement. 

They all stopped in a small room that had once held what looked like 5 protectrons. They were all left in bits, nothing but their robotic corpses sparking on the ground. Danse frowned deeply at the sight.

“Looks like something took care of the security already, that has to be at least some good news, right?” Jacob suggested. Danse merely shook his head no.

“Look at the scene. There isn’t a single drop of blood or ammunition casing.” He waved a hand over the sight before them, Jacob followed his hand and nodded slightly. “That means this is the work of Institute Synths.” The Paladin concluded.

Jacob blinked and looked at Danse curiously. “... Synths? What’s a synth.” He blurted. Danse looked back at him with an equally curious look, but he shrugged slightly and decided to explain.

“A synth is a monstrosity, created by a secret, underground group known as the institute. They are either as close to human as possible, or robotic drones made to do the Institute's dirty work.” He explained. “They are an affront to nature, and one of the Brotherhood’s main enemies.”

“Ah well,” Jacob frowned and looked back at the robotic crime scene. “I guess we’ll have to be careful, huh?” 

“Exactly. Let’s continue on, make sure your safety is off, just in case.” He instructed. Jacob did as he was told, keeping his combat rifle in hand as they continued to walk through the hallways. 

Finally, they made it to a huge chamber with an extremely high ceiling and an ashy floor. This was the room where they tested the rocket thrusters, and the room with the elevator that would take them up to where the Deep Range Transmitter was located. Paladin Danse frowned and looked around the chamber, he pointed towards a door that lead into a small control room.

“Look through that room and try and get the power back up and running,” Danse instructed. “Look for any terminal or switch, it should get the elevator working properly.” Jacob nodded and walked into the control room with Dog following obediently behind him. 

He ended up finding the terminal, and it was easy to get through with the password, which happened to be ‘1234’.  _ For a rocket scientist, this guy had some pretty bad password management. _ He got the power on easily, and the lights in the control room flickered to life. He smiled proudly and turned around, ready to share the good news with Danse. But he turned to see Danse fighting off what looked like 20 horrifying creatures, that must have been the synths Danse was talking about. He was struggling, his helmet now on and his laser rifle blasting at synth after synth, Jacob knew they wouldn’t have a chance even if Jacob tried to join the fight. His heart started beating heavily. He didn’t know what to do. So he did the dumbest thing he could think of. He turned on the huge thruster above Danse’s head.

The room erupted into flames once the 5 second countdown was over. Jacob could see Danse’s figure stooping down on the ground, his power armor glowing a dim red in the heat of the thruster. Jacob looked on, horrified. Dog looked out the window at Jacob’s side, whimpering slightly at the sight of the Paladin being cooked. There was no screaming, and once the thruster stopped all Jacob could see through the smoke was piles of still-glowing ashes and Danse’s silhouette. Jacob ran out, coughing through the thick smoke as he ran out to the Paladin.

“Oh my god are you alright?” He panicked, watching Danse stand up straighter and bend the joints of his suit to make sure they were still in working order.

“Yes, I’m alright.” Danse answered plainly, his helmet still on tight.

“Danse are you absolutely sure, I don’t know what the hell a rocket thruster would do to a person.” 

“My power armor kept me alive, I’m fine.” He repeated, looking blankly at Jacob through the helmet of the power armor.

“... Alright. Let’s keep moving then.” Jacob nodded slightly. He felt guilty. That was a reckless, and extremely dangerous decision. If Danse’s helmet had been off, then he would have killed the Paladin in the flames. Danse just trudged to the elevator, getting on without issue. Jacob squeezed in next to him along with Dog, who was looking up at Danse curiously. Maybe Dog was worried. 

When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, Danse was the first to step out onto the thin catwalk towards the much larger control center. Jacob followed after him with Dog by his side, his combat rifle in hand and ready to go. As they stepped into the room, they were welcomed by maybe 5 or 6 synths.

They were even more terrifying up close, their blank glowing yellow eyes and their gray-plastic skin. Some of them were decayed, their skeletal-like metal bones gleaming in the fluorescent lights above them. They drew their weapons, sending bright blue lasers berating down on Danse and Jacob. Jacob ducked back behind Danse and readied his weapon, taking aim at one of the synths and firing. These synths were rather weak, unlike the much stronger ones in the chamber below where he had accidentally cooked the Paladin in front of him. They were relatively easy pickings, some went down in only one or two shots, only a few took more effort to bring down, but with the Paladin and Jacob working together they could get through the synths successfully. Once all the synths were left in either ashes or sparking bits of robotic limbs, Jacob ducked down to search through their bodies for anything useful. Danse clunked around the room in search of the Deep Range Transmitter, his paces growing quicker and more anxious by the second.

“I don’t see the Transmitter anywhere,” He announced, clearly trying to keep his cool. “Are you finding anything?” 

“Oh you mean this?” Jacob asked, picking a square, white device from the pocket of one of the head synths. Danse relaxed at the sight. 

“Outstanding.” Danse praised, taking the transmitter from his hand and tucking it into a compartment in his power armor. “Now let’s get going, I don’t feel like staying any longer than we have to.” Danse said, walking into the elevator with Dog and Jacob. Once they made it up to the surface, Jacob stepped out and noticed that it was already the beginning of the evening. They had been in Arcjet for most of the day.

“Wow, the day went by fast.” Jacob laughed. 

“I suppose it did,” Danse shrugged, starting to take his helmet off. His cheeks were reddened and peeling, along with the tip of his nose. However he didn’t look too hurt. It was nothing a stimpak wouldn’t fix. He turned to Jacob, ready to ask something. “I need to ask you something.” He said.

“Ask away.” Jacob answered with a smile.

“I’m going to offer you a place in the Brotherhood. You don’t have to agree, but I think you’d do fantastic in our ranks, and I would love to work with you more under the same flag.” He explained. “All you have to do is say yes, and I’ll send my letter of recommendation to my supervisors.”

Jacob blinked, hesitating. Did he really want to stick with the Brotherhood? He hadn’t even seen what else was out there in the commonwealth. Then again, this looked like the most organized and familiar thing he had seen in his entire time on the surface since he left the vault. Maybe this was his best bet in finding some form of home, no matter how far away it really was. 

“Yes.” He decided. “I want to join the Brotherhood.” Danse then smiled a real, genuine smile, even if it was tiny.

“Outstanding.” He said, the small smile still there on his face. It didn’t look like he genuinely smiled often, Jacob could see it pretty clearly. “I suppose this is where we part ways. I will meet you back at the police station.” 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind some more company on my way there.” Jacob offered.

“I’m quite sure. I need to check the perimeter to make sure there are no more remaining synths.” Danse insisted. “Go on, I won’t take long.” Jacob just nodded.

“Alright, Paladin. Whatever you say.” He said, and he and Dog walked back down towards the main road. The Paladin disappeared, going to check around the edges of the building. Jacob didn’t worry. He knew the man could handle himself out here.

Maybe sticking with these people wasn’t a bad idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are actually reading this it'd be a shame if I was telling this story to a wall haha. I'd love comments and kudos if anyone likes this story so far. I hope it's at least helping people through this weird time, even for a few minutes at a time. God knows it's helping me at least a little bit.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you're curious. I don't post much, but you can definitely message me if you want.


	4. October 26th, 2287 - Pt. I

The walk back to the police station was an uneventful one. The most resistance Jacob met was a small pack of giant mosquitos that he found around an abandoned donut shop he planned on scavenging for any junk he could find. He ended up finding a small bit of ammo, 200 year old dollar bills, random pieces of kitchenware he might be able to sell in the future, and an old Grognak comic book that still had all it’s pages intact. Dog stayed by his side the entire time, sitting obediently against the counter in the side of the room while he waited for Jacob to finish looting the shop for all it was worth. By the time they both reached Cambridge Police Station, his bag was stuffed with junk, food, and ancient medical supplies he would set aside for a later date. He pushed open the doors and were welcomed by the sight of Knight Rhys and Paladin Danse quietly talking about something, probably Brotherhood related. Scribe Haylen was on the other side of the room at a small desk, fiddling with the device he and the Paladin had brought back from Arcjet Systems. As he stepped in, Danse looked towards him, waving his armored hand slightly to signal Rhys to be quiet. Rhys stepped aside in response, sending Jacob a pointed glare. 

“Haylen,” Danse directed, getting the scribe’s attention. She looked up and smiled at Jacob, as if to quietly apologize for being so engrossed in her work. “I have an announcement.” Danse continued. “This civilian here has helped us through many difficulties, and I would like to make him the Brotherhood’s newest recruit.” This was met by Haylen politely clapping, and Rhys’ scowl becoming more defined. Danse then addressed Jacob directly. “I will use the power granted to me as Paladin to make you an Initiate, I’m afraid my authority can’t go farther than that.”

“Thank you, sir.” Jacob said.

“Of course. From now on you will be known as Initiate…”

“Roberts. Jacob Roberts.” The Initiate clarified.

“Outstanding.  _ Ad Victorium. _ ” Danse praised, pressing his closed fist against his chest in some sort of salute, Rhys returned it, however reluctant. Jacob imitated the salute the best he could. He assumed they’d be doing that a lot more once the rest of the Brotherhood showed up.

Rhys scoffed, turning away from Danse to disappear into the police station. However, Danse stopped him.

“Is there anything you’d like to share with the group, Rhys?” Danse asked. Danse must have noticed the glares and angry looks Rhys had been sending Jacob his entire time here. Rhys glared up at the Paladin and grumbled.

“What the hell has this scavenger done for the Brotherhood?” Rhys grunted in response, avoiding direct eye contact with the looming Paladin.

“As far as I remember,” Danse began. “He saved us from the Ghoul hoard, saving your lifes and mine, then proceeded not to rob us but continue to help us, then he helped me get the Deep Range Transmitter and saved my life in the process, and finally he agreed to join our ranks.” The Paladin finished, looking down at Rhys. “Now tell me Knight, did I miss anything?”

“No sir.” Rhys murmured, clearly embarrassed.

“ _ Outstanding _ .” the Paladin asserted. “You may continue.” Rhys immediately walked away and out of the room, and Danse turned around to go back to his temporary office. 

-

Later into the night, Jacob is sitting on his mattress with Dog curled up next to him, he absentmindedly read the old comic he had found while scavenging earlier that evening. He was so engrossed in his reading he didn’t notice his mattress sink slightly, signaling some new company. That’s why he flinched slightly when he heard Scribe Haylen speak up.

“Does he have a name?” She asked, gently petting Dog with one of her hands.

“Oh uh… no. Not really.” He sighed softly. “I only met him a few days ago, I haven’t been able to come up with anything other than Dog.”

Haylen laughed softly at that. “Well how about we come up with something. It can’t me much farther off. Don’t wanna confuse the poor boy.”

“Well if you have any ideas I’d be thrilled to hear them.” Jacob added, setting his comic book aside on the floor, right next to his bag. Haylen thought for a moment, gently scratching behind Dog’s ears as the boy slowly drifted off.

“How about Dogmeat?” She suggested.

“It’s a good name for a scavenger dog.”

“It’s a good name for any dog around here.” Haylen clarified.

“I like it.” Jacob decided, gently patting Dogmeat’s side to decide on the brand new name. Haylen began pulling something out of one of the many pockets on her uniform. It was an old dog collar, it was a faded brown leather with a rusty old buckle that wouldn’t take much to clean.

“Well it’s decided then. I found this in one of the old locker rooms. It’d look great on him.” 

“Agreed, you can put it on.” Jacob said with a chuckle. She nodded and carefully put the color on Dogmeat. He squirmed only a little before relaxing again on his side, now comfortable in the new collar.

“Now that’s a dog an Initiate should be proud of.” Haylen noted.

“Yeah I guess he is.” Jacob smiled slightly.

“Are you planning on staying here a while longer? I don’t think we’d mind the extra company.” She asked, looking up curiously at Jacob.

“Oh uh… no. No, I want to head out to Diamond City tomorrow.” He decided. “I need help looking for someone, and I’m not getting any further in the progress from the Police Station.”

“That makes sense. Well, you’re always welcome here. And since I got the signal working, the Brotherhood should be here in a week or two. Keep an eye on your radio, Danse will want to send out a message to all Brotherhood recruits.”

“I’ll make sure to tune in.” Jacob joked. Haylen laughed softly in response.

“Well, what I’m saying is you’re welcome here. You’re my friend, and you’re Danse’s friend too.”

“Hah, nice one.” Jacob snickered.

“No really!” She rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall. “I’ve worked under the Paladin for years on and off, and I’ve never seen him promote a recruit so fast. He clearly admires your dedication, and ability on the field. You’ll make an amazing knight, and he knows it.”

Jacob smiled and shrugged. “Whatever you say, Haylen.”

-

The next morning Jacob and Dogmeat made the Journey to Diamond city. The road they were currently on lead directly to Diamond city, and thanks to the mountains of somewhat faithful security, they were only interrupted a few times by one or two raiders. The large, familiar buildings loomed above them both, walls crumbling with ages and wear, posters still hanging on brick walls left to rot. Some old billboards had crashed through the tops of buildings, leaving their old advertisements obscured by eroded walls and age. It was a sight to see. The big morning sun shone down on the streets of Boston, puddles of water from the previous night’s storm glittered, somehow still beautiful after all this time and radiation. Jacob passed sign after sign, all bearing the same symbol for the great green jewel he had heard so little about. Thanks to the signs, he knew they had water. That was a good sign. The closer and closer he got to the city, the more guards he started to pass, all clad in baseball catcher’s uniforms. They gave Jacob slight acknowledgements with headnodds and mumbles, that was all the attention Jacob and Dogmeat really needed anyway. Finally, the two reached the great big walls of what used to be Fenway Park. 

“That’s what Carla meant when she said big green walls…” Jacob mumbled. Dogmeat barked back in agreement. They neared the front entrance. The gate was down, and the statues up front were broken and worn, one was missing an entire arm. The rubble and dust had been sloppily swept aside to make the front entrance look slightly tidier. In comparison to the rest of the Commonwealth, it was pretty neat. Jacob noticed a woman yelling at an intercom. She was wearing a faded dark red trench coat with a newsboy hat on over her long dark hair. She was angry too, Jacob couldn’t help but listen in.

“Goddamnit Danny, let me in!!” She swore, waving her hands to emphasize her point.

“I’m sorry Piper, mayor says I can’t just let you in anymore.” Danny admitted over the intercom. “That paper you wrote about him really pissed him off, and it made the town all paranoid. I’m only doing my job.”

“Danny, I live here for god's sake! You can’t just lock me out because I started some goddamn gossip!” She yelled, not backing down.

“I’m sorry Piper. I’m just doing my job.” Danny apologized. Piper huffed loudly and turned away from the speaker. Then, she noticed Jacob and smirked, clearly plotting something. She waved the man over.

“Hey you,” She whispered. “You wanna get into Diamond city, right?”

“Uhm… yes.” He nodded. “I do.”

“That’s awesome. Just play along then.” She smiled and turned back to the intercom. “What’s that? You said you’re a trader up from Quincy?” She exclaimed. “You say you’ve got enough stock to keep the General store running for months?”

Danny sighed heavily over the intercom. “Goddamnit Piper, fine. I'll open the gates.” He conceded. And then the giant green gate slowly opened for them both. The inside of the gate was dark, and there was a man in one of the ticket booths with his head in his hands. That must have been Danny. As he and Piper stepped into the gate, a large man with an old brimmed hat stepped out of the elevator, a deep-set frown on his face.

“Piper.” the man cursed, sending her a glare. Piper didn’t back down, she sent an even dirtier one back. “Here to write another slanderous paper? I’m sure you’d  _ love _ to go through that again.”

“That paper wasn’t slanderous, I was only giving the people the facts I had, Mcdonough.” Piper hissed, glaring daggers into the man.

Mcdonough frowned and turned to Jacob, instantly changing his tune. “Ah! A newcomer to diamond city! Yes, you look just like diamond city material to me.” He asserted. “I am Mayor Mcdonough, and please, don’t let your interaction with our dear reporter taint the image of our lovely city in your eyes.”

“Oh uh..” Jacob shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“Oh but it absolutely isn’t. Tell me young man, what is it you’re here in our great city to look for?”

“I’m looking for a missing person.” Jacob answered, and that really was the truth. The Mayor’s expression wavered slightly.

“Well I do hope you find someone who can accommodate for those needs.” He answered rather robotically. “I’ll be going back up to my office.” Then the mayor left. That interaction rubbed Jacob the wrong way. Was the Mayor hiding something? Jacob couldn’t think too deep into it when Piper tapped his shoulder.

‘Hey, thanks for going along with that.” She mentioned, sticking her hands into the pockets of her trench coat.

“No problem,” Jacob shrugged again. “I just needed to get into diamond city.” 

“That’s how it always goes.” She sighed. “Just… I run this newspaper. Come to my office sometime. I would  _ love _ to have an interview with you.” 

“I’ll come in when I can.” Jacob said. Then she walked away through the metal gate and up the concrete stairs into what was presumably the city. Dogmeat trotted up to the gate, looking over at Jacob expectantly. Then the two of them walked up to the city together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really feels like I'm talking to a wall right now I wish people read my stuff ahaha. Anyway the second part of this chapter should be out eventually, it'll be bigger, so I gotta find the motivation. Please comment and leave kudos if you want, I'd appreciate it.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you wanna see all of my 1 post.


	5. October 26th, 2287 - Pt.II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob does his interview with Piper then continued to explore Diamond city. He comes across a small detective agency in a dark alleyway. Maybe this is the first place to go to find a missing boy? Sadly, the detective has gone missing, and it's Jacob's job to get him back.

The concrete staircase led up to an open entrance to the city, Jacob stopped when he reached the top and looked out at the Great Green Jewel, apparently the biggest and most populated settlement in the entire commonwealth. Because of that title Jacob wasn’t surprised to see the rickety old roads bustling with people shopping and talking amongst themselves. The roads themselves were either dirt packed over what used to be bright green field grass, old wooden planks nailed into the ground, or raised metal grate roads with railings. The city was situated like a big diamond, shops lining all four sides of the center shop, which was a tall noodle stand with a large generator on top. Wires were strung from the middle generator, rooftop to rooftop, so that the city would have an equal amount of power. As Jacob looked further around he noticed that a portion of the stadium had been flooded, so there were a few homes sitting on top of short stilts in the water. Jacob and Dogmeat stepped further into the city, walking past many shops on the way. There was a butcher,  _ Choice Chops, _ along with a doctor’s office set on the corner next to what looked like a drug dealer’s set up. Across the main shopping district was a general store, an ammunition store, as well as what looked like some place that sold Baseball bats and other items. 

Some of these shops were strange, but a lot of them were very useful. Jacob turned around and noticed a little girl standing on top of an old wooden box. She had on a pink coat over a few more layers, along with a comfortable scarf. She had a newspaper in her hand and was calling out the headlines. Jacob looked up at the building she was in front of. A sign on the roof read  _ Publick Occurrences  _ in large metal letters, all of which were painted a light green. Jacob walked over to the girl.

“Uh.. hi.” He spoke up. The girl looked up at him and frowned.

“You look new, mister.” She pointed out. Her tone was stern, which sounded strange coming from a girl that looked about 10 or 11. “The paper is 3 caps.” She told him. “Do you want it?”

Jacob stiffened and dug into one of his pockets for his leather pouch of caps. He might as well, he was distracting this little girl from doing her job, after all. He gave her 3 bottle caps after struggling with the drawstrings, and she handed up a copy of the paper from the satchel on her back. He thanked her quietly and walked back into the main marketplace. Dogmeat followed, trotting close to him. They weren’t in danger here, but Jacob still felt strange in this new environment. He sat down on the bench and looked at the paper. 

Newspapers were definitely different now after over 200 years. The top of the page had been printed on, but the rest was written out in pen. That was impressive, who knows how many copies of those things the reporter had to write out by hand. As Jacob scans through the pages, he remembers the reporter up at the front gate of Diamond city. He had promised her an interview. This was probably her newspaper, too, it would be strange for one city to have 2 newspapers in a time like this. He got up, signalling Dogmeat to follow with a click, and the two of them walked back to the Publick Occurrences, stepping into the office through an unlocked door to the side.

Piper was already inside, notepad in hand, already waiting for Jacob to step in and give her an interview. She smiled when she noticed him step in.

“Oh perfect, I’m glad you actually showed up.” She joked, sitting down on an old couch and gesturing to a chair on the other side of the small coffee table. “Sit down please.” Jacob did as he was told, Dogmeat hopped up onto the couch next to Piper and curled up. 

“It’s not like I have anything else to do, I might as well do this.” Jacob chuckled, shifting in his seat to try and get comfortable. That was difficult when he had been conditioned to ultra-comfortable pre war sofas his entire life. The transition was jarring.

“Well,” She began, flipping to an empty page on her notepad, pencil in hand. “Diamond City needs an outside perspective, you’re gonna give it to them.” 

“I am?”

“Yep! Just gotta answer my questions the best you can.” She smiled gratefully. “Okay, first question. You were a vault dweller, right?”

“How do you know what?” Jacob blinked, surprised and confused. Piper laughed.

“Oh come on, it’s really obvious. Your eyes are all wide, you have this ‘fish out of water’ look everywhere you go. I’m assuming I’m right?” Jacob just nodded. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, next question. What was your time like inside the vault?”

Jacob thought for a moment, and decided to answer truthfully. “Well I don’t remember much. I was cryogenically frozen for over 200 years. I didn’t spend much time there. Well, not much time conscious.” Piper’s eyes went wide.

“You’re from before the war…?” She asked softly, in awe. Jacob nodded a little. “...  _ A Man Out of Time.” _ she mumbled, then she continued. “Okay, how does the commonwealth compare to your old life?” 

Jacob frowned slightly and looked away from her. “It scares me.” He answered. More truthfully than he would like. “It’s strange, and unfamiliar, and I’d feel alone if it weren’t for Dogmeat. I don’t even know how much longer I’m going to last out here.” Piper frowned at that, but Jacob wasn’t finished. “But despite all that it gives me hope. There’s still big cities like this, and people are actually living in an awful world like this. I’m happy I didn’t wake up to absolutely nothing.”

“Well I’m glad you have hope for us.” Piper’s mouth quirked in a slight smile. “Why are you even here?” She asked. Jacob frowned even deeper. He debated on telling the truth, should he? Maybe Piper would have some answers for him, maybe a pointer, a direction to go in. He risked it all and answered truthfully.

“I’m uhh…” He sighed heavily. “Looking for my son. He was taken from me in the vault. He’s only a few months old. I don’t know who would do such a thing.” 

Piper thought for a moment. “Do you think the institute is involved?” She asked.

“Oh uh.. Maybe?” He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t exactly have any place to start.”

“That’s just it.” She said. “Nobody knows. That’s what makes them so scary.” She sighed. “Last question. What do you want to say to the people of the Commonwealth. Maybe some advice for anyone trying to find a missing loved one?”

Jacob thought for a moment, trying to think about what has been keeping him going for the past few days. “Take one day at a time. Just keep working, keep your head high. You’ll find relief sooner or later.” 

Piper smiled happily at his statement. “Wonderful. I think my readers will really resonate with that.” She said.

“Good, it’s what’s been keeping me going.” 

“Well, you’re done.” She said. “You can leave if you want. And if you ever want a companion with you out on the road, you just let me know. You know where to find me, blue.” 

“Alright.” Jacob nodded. He didn’t question the nickname. It was pretty cute.

-

Jacob spent a little bit exploring the city and selling trinkets to the shops. He sold some old pipe pistols he found on the road along with some other junk he had picked up on the way here. At this point, he had 100 caps stuffed in his bag. He felt rich, he had never had this much pocket money on him at one time. However tempted he was to buy something, he decided to keep it for a rainy day, or whenever his life depended on it. As he and Dogmeat walked through the slightly dimmer streets of Diamond city, Jacob noticed a neon sign hanging on the wall next to an alleyway.  _ Valentine Detective Agency _ , it read in glowing red letters. Jacob smiled. This was a fantastic place to go to find his son. He could find people to help. He walked down the alley and to a metal door, and as he stepped in he was welcomed by a small room. There were two desks, one set in front of the door the other off to the side against the wall. Filing cabinets lined the walls, and there was a woman facing away from the door, sorting through a box full of old files. 

“Oh you big idiot…” She mumbled to herself, looking down at the files sadly. Jacob cleared his throat, getting her attention the best he could. She flinched and turned around. “Oh! Oh uh… we’re closed. I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?” Jacob asked.

“The detective is missing. It’s been weeks.” She admitted, sighing anxiously. She nervously grabbed the fabric of her dress, twisting it absentmindedly as she spoke. “I know he can handle himself, but I really don’t know if he could last this long without being killed…”

“I’ll get him back for you.” Jacob decided. He needed that detective, and between him and the woman this would be a win-win situation. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Really? That’s incredibly dangerous, are you sure you want to help?” She asked.

“Well yeah, if you need it I’m willing to help.”

She smiled at that. “Well, you’re looking for a man named Nick Valentine. He should be in Park Street Station, which isn’t too far from here. Please be careful.” She added. “And get him home safe, please.”

“Of course I will, don’t worry.” Jacob assured, writing out the details into his Pip-Boy. 

The woman introduced herself as Ellie, and said she would pay Jacob for his services. He had never been a greedy man, but having some more caps on him didn’t sound so bad. After getting a few more details from Ellie, as well as a little ammo from the shops, he and Dogmeat set out for the train station together. Jacob knew this would be incredibly dangerous, he knew it would be. But something in his brain clicked and the fear and anxiousness began to fade away, making his brain focus on one single thing. Shaun.

If he didn’t do this, he would never find his little boy. He needed to rescue that detective if not for Ellie, if not for himself, than for Shaun. All he could think about on the way was how he would try and raise Shaun out here, even as he crept and wove through the streets, avoiding raider packs and disgusting creatures. Ignoring everything in his head made it easier to focus on what was around him, and before he knew it he was already standing in front of Park Street Station. The sign up top had fallen, and was now swinging from one side ominously overhead. Jacob quickly ducked under it, his combat rifle gripped tightly in his hands. Dogmeat went ahead, carefully pushing the door open for Jacob to step in. They crept in together, trying to stay quiet as possible.

-

The station was relatively quiet, but Jacob could still hear footsteps and conversations beyond the first door. There were a group of men on the other side, all talking about things that didn’t matter. Jacob was still in the zone, he didn’t need to process their conversations, that always made it harder to get the job done. One of them did mention something that Jacob ended up processing. Their boss had kidnapped a detective. And he was still alive.  _ Bingo. _

Jacob stepped out and ran towards one of the men, bashing him in the jaw with his rifle. A deafening crack rang out as the man stepped back, groaning out and holding his jaw. Jacob killed him with another blast of the rifle, turning to the other two that were coming at him with switchblades. He stepped back and shot one of them in the gut and shoulder, causing them to stumble backwards. Jacob shot the other in the foot, crippling him. He finished one of them off with a final shot to the face, and before the last man could get a good slash at Jacob with his switchblade Dogmeat lunged up and grabbed the man’s arm with a growl, tugging him back so Jacob could get a good shot. Then just like that the room was cleared. Jacob was breathing heavily, and he stooped down to dig through the men’s pockets. He got some more ammo and added a few more bottle caps to his collection. He stuffed a few more stimpaks in his pockets for later. He still had a long way to go before he made it to the detective.

Jacob advanced through the train station, but he stopped at the entrance to the main tracks. He needed to make some sort of plan or he’d be flying blind. He decided on doing this recklessly. He took a long, deep breath, nodded at Dogmeat, and took off through the station. There were yells of confusion, men grabbing their guns as they watched Jacob book it down the train tracks. He had caught them off guard, but the bullets started to catch up to him. A bullet grazed his shoulder, and another nearly hit him. Finally he stopped at a giant vault door. Jacob groaned in frustration, readying his rifle and blasting at a few of the men, clearing the area so he could open the door with his pip-boy. His hands were surprisingly steady, given that this was such a stressful situation. Jacob looked up as the vault door opened with a series of very loud bangs and rattles. He stepped out onto the grated catwalk, quiet as he could be. 

“Ugh, why is that door so damn loud?” He heard from the side room. A man stepped out through the door and Jacob immediately shot him in the gut and then in the head. 

He was quick, especially when he was in the zone. Sadly he had drawn the attention of a few more men, and he came out of that battle with a stab wound and a deep pain in his left shoulder from a sturdy baseball bat. Jacob bit down on his lip and injected a stimpak into his arm for the time being. The pain subsided, but he would surely get a scar and a bruise. He swore softly under his breath, weakened, but ready to continue on. 

The next few rooms were easy to get through, just one or two men that went down very quickly. Jacob finally walked into a huge room with a raised path going through the entire chamber. The floor was nothing but dirt and concrete below, and the surroundings were dark. Dogmeat bounded ahead, taking down one of the men so Jacob could get a good shot in. The two of them worked fast in the dark, Jacob even took out his pistol and took some of the men out from a farther distance, and Dogmeat helped keep them steady. Jacob opened a door quickly, killing another one of the men and jumping down through a hole in the ground. He winced as he hit the ground, frowning slightly. He was okay though. Dog jumped down after him, and they both continued until they made it to the main chamber of the vault.

The inside was huge, even if it was dark. Jacob was on the second level, which was a raised section along the edge of the wall, there was a dirty metal railing along the edge, and Jacob crouched down alongside it, sneaking up to the large main office up top. There was a man in front of the door to the office, yelling through the door with a mocking tone.

“You good in there Valentine? Nice and  _ cozy?”  _ He teased.

“Keep talkin’  _ Dino. _ Any minute now and Mallone’s gonna get your ass.” Someone drawled back from behind the door, presumably Valentine.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Dino rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, I saw him write your name in that little black book of his, he struck your name across three times.” Valentine taunted. Dino looked more anxious after the statement.

“... three strikes? I don’t know what I-” Dino was interrupted by the butt of Jacob’s rifle slamming against the back of his head. Dino hit the floor, and was dead after another shot to the back.

“Hey you!” Valentine called from the room. “Get this door open before Dino’s goons realize he ain’t coming back.” Jacob hummed in response, going to the nearby terminal to crack the code.

Jacob wasn’t a prodigy at hacking, but he knew his way around a computer. That made it easy to get into the terminal and get the door to glide open. As Jacob stepped in, he saw Nick Valentine.

Nick was… something. He wasn’t human. That was his most noticeable feature. His eyes glowed a bright yellow, his gray synthetic skin fraying at the edges, revealing wires, circuitry, and metal skeleton, just like the synths he fought with Danse only yesterday. Nick Valentine wore a worn gray trench coat, with multiple patches to cover up holes and rips. A fedora shrouded Nick’s face in shadow, his glowing eyes the only visible feature to his face. 

“Ah my hero,” Nick chuckled softly and pulled a package of cigarettes out of his trench coat pocket. He lit one and took a long drag, letting smoke out passively. “You came a long way.” He pointed out, stepping closer to Jacob. “My question is, why would someone risk life and limb for an old private eye?” 

Jacob gawked at the detective. “Uhh... it’s complicated.” Was all he managed. Nick smirked slightly, shrugging passively.

“We’ll talk later. How about we get the hell out of here?” Jacob nodded and turned around the leave, he assumed Nick followed right behind him.

Nick Valentine was a synth! What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was this what Danse meant when he said ‘as good as human’? Jacob could clearly tell Nick was a synth, it was so goddamn obvious! Jacob mulled this over, barely listening to a word Nick said as they worked through the rest of the vault. He was in the zone again, no time to focus on whatever the hell that thing was saying. He just needed to find his son.

What he did understand from Nick is that he had come here to look for Darla, a girl who had supposedly gotten kidnapped by Skinny Malone. Turns out this wasn’t true. She came here on her own, and she and Skinny Malone were together; they had captured Nick once he tried to get her home.

When they reached the exit, they were stopped by Skinny Malone, the guy who had apparently captured Nick in the first place.

“Awe come on, Nicky, leaving so soon?” Skinny Malone laughed, the woman next to him snarled and gripped her bat even tighter.

Jacob rolled his eyes. “Let us out.” He said. “I wasn’t planning on killing everyone but it’s sure as hell tempting.” He grumbled.

Darla cackled. “Oh you  _ poor thing,  _ I’m sorry I inconvenienced you and your poor widdle feelings!” She squealed. Jacob sighed heavily. 

“You need to go home,” Jacob said simply. “Your parents miss you. Do you really want to spend your whole life here in this vault with this jackass?” He asked, pointing at Skinny Malone. Darla’s twisted smile faltered.

“I-” She frowned. “You’re right.” She turned away. “I need to go home! I shouldn’t have left!” Jacob nodded. He had done his job, and he had closed Nick’s case. Skinny Malone’s eyes were wide with rage.

“You little-” Malone swore. “Fuckin- Fine! Get out! I’m gonna count to 10. 1…” 

Nick, Jacob, and Dogmeat all ran out of the vault as fast as they could, Nick led him to an exit ladder they could both take up to the surface. Once they were up there, Jacob put his gun away and took a long, deep breath of nice cold fresh air. It was night already, and now that the struggle was over Jacob could really feel all the aches and pains all over his body. He frowned a little and looked up at the sky.

It was never this pretty before the war, a gorgeous mixture of bright blue and dark purple, stars glittering in the distance. The lights around him had hidden them in his old life, but now the stars were vibrant and gorgeous as ever. 

“You gotta love that Commonwealth sky,” Nick commented. Jacob looked back at the detective, grimacing. Nick chuckled in response. “I know, I know, I’m a synth. Real sight for sore eyes, eh? Doesn’t stop me from doing my job.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Jacob mumbled.

“Anyway,” Nick shrugged, jamming the tip of his cigarette into the brick wall next to him to put out the ember. “Why did you risk your life to save me?”

“Your secretary Ellie asked me to. And I have a case.”

“Well ain’t that always the case.” Nick laughed. “Have any details?”

“It’s complicated,” Jacob began. “I’m looking for my son. He’s been kidnapped. Only I don’t know who did it, where he went, or even how long ago it was.” Nick shrugged passively at the explanation.

“I’ve worked with less. ‘Nice and simple’ has never been on the menu for me.” 

“So when can we get started on my case?” Jacob asked. 

“As soon as we get back to diamond city. I’ll meet you back at my office. Just come in whenever and I’ll be ready to get started.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you there.” 

Jacob and the synth both went their separate ways, Dogmeat following faithfully behind Jacob. He didn’t know how he felt about working with a synth, but at this point it was his only option. Jacob decided that he wouldn’t tell Danse or the others. He would finish his work with Nick, and then continue doing the investigation all alone. That would bet the best course of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone even reading this? Lmao no just gonna keep writing anyway. Also this is my biggest chapter yet, I hope all 2 of you like it, I worked hard on it.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna message me. idk.


	6. October 27th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob arrives back in diamond city, exhausted from the past few days of action and battle. He meets back up with Nick, and they find a suspect in town that had gone missing a while back. They search his house for clues, and they eventually have a plan of attack. Jacob might get Shaun back sooner than he thinks.

The trip back to diamond city was slow, thanks to the raider camps and Jacob’s multiple open wounds. When he finally did arrive at the great green jewel, he walked past the few people in the dark empty streets and towards what looked like an inn. The place was called  _ Dugout Inn _ , fittingly located in one of the old dugouts of the ancient park. There were one or two people softly talking to each other over drinks at the tables out front, and the concrete walls were lined with dim strung up lights. The sign on the wall next to the door was old, some of the metal letters rusted around the edges, with most of the paint chipped off by age. Jacob pushed the door open and stepped inside, Dogmeat following close behind. Jacob covered his notable wounds the best he could and walked up to a man sitting in a chair next to the open door to the multiple rooms. He was given a room for 10 caps. Jacob softly thanked the man and walked inside to settle down with his dog for the night.

The room was rather empty, nothing but a bed, an empty dresser, and a disgusting old sofa chair shoved into the corner. He let himself sink down on the bed, adjusting himself to try and get comfortable in the less-than-ideal conditions.

Now that he thought about it, this was the first time he had slept on a real bed since he woke up. Every other night he had been sleeping either on the floor or on one of the old blood stained mattresses in the Police Station. He knew it wasn’t a big thing to complain about, honestly it was pretty selfish. The people around him probably hadn’t had a hot shower in their entire lives. Jacob felt homesick.

The problem was he couldn’t write home, he couldn’t call. He was stuck here, and there was no way out. This was the future of the Commonwealth, there was no going back from here. The bombs had dropped, and the future had been set. Dogmeat looked up at Jacob with curious eyes, and he returned it by petting the dog’s fur.

“At least I have you, Dogmeat.” He said softly. “You’ve saved my life a couple times in the past few days. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Dogmeat licked his hand.

Jacob spent a few minutes lying on his back with Dogmeat curled up next to him, despite the uncomfortable room, the warmth from Dogmeat was comforting. After a little longer, he carefully propped himself up and started taking off armor to examine his wounds. The doctor’s office was closed, the lights were out, so he was just gonna have to temporarily treat the wounds himself.

He had a gash on his left arm where a bullet had grazed him, large bruises on his side, his shoulder, both of his legs, parts of his arms, aches in his muscles, and a shallow stab wound in his gut. It wasn’t deep, and it hadn’t hit anything important. It could probably be healed by a stimpak and some gaus, even though it would still leave a scar. He was thankful he hadn’t been directly shot, he was extremely lucky in that regard. He had never personally had to fish a bullet out of his body, and he didn’t want that to change any time soon.

He had a few medical supplies in his bag, just some bandages and a few stimpaks. After his wounds were temporarily treated, he set a reminder in his pip-boy to buy more stimpaks after talking with Nick and Ellie. Once he was done, he set his pip-boy on the end table next to him, leaning his bag up against it on the floor. He laid on his back, looking up at the filthy ceiling rubbing his now empty wrist. 

He didn’t know what to do now, truthfully. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. Hell, he hadn’t thought as far as going to Diamond City, saving the detective was a move based on instincts. Pretty reckless ones, too. He was supposed to be and Initiate of the Brotherhood, and he was making stupid decisions like blasting his commander with a rocket thruster, and running directly through a train station swarming with men. Where had his good decisions gone? He used to be fast, good at decision making.

That was a long time ago, both in his head and literally. He hadn’t been in the military in a long time, and he had gone a little soft around the edges since he got married. It was a good thing at the time, but right now? Now he was just dragging people down. How long will it be until he gets someone killed? Hell, how long until he gets himself killed? 

Dogmeat nuzzled his hand, curling right up next to him on the bed. Jacob couldn’t help but smile. Dogs were too good for this fucked up world.

-

Jacob woke up with more aches and pains than before, his Pip-Boy lightly beeping to remind him when he was supposed to hand over his room. He grumbled, annoyed by the pain, but he got up anyway, packing his things in his bag and leaving the inn with Dogmeat by his side. He had left his armor in his bag, he didn’t plan on going anywhere today, and his body hurt too much to strap armor to it. He walked out into town, which was bustling with a few people out and about for the morning. Some looked in his direction, probably because Jacob looked beat up and gross. That wasn’t far off from how he felt. Jacob walked past the bigger stores and into the familiar dark alley where he had found the detective agency before, he walked past the neon sign and pushed open the door.

Nick was inside at his desk, flipping through an old case file. Ellie was at the desk in front of the door, and she smiled when she saw Jacob walk in.

“Thank you so much,” She gushed, getting up from her desk and walking to Jacob. “You saved Nick, me, the agency,  _ and  _ my job. Thank you.” Ellie praised, fishing out a bag of caps from her pocketed dress. 

“You needed help. I was there to provide.” Jacob confided, fiddling with one of the plugs on his Pip-Boy.

“Well either way, you deserve some kind of reward for your hard work. You look really beat up.” 

“Oh really? Didn’t notice.” He joked. 

Ellie rolled her eyes and gave him the bag filled with almost 200 caps. “From a rainy day fund. Don’t spend it all at once.” Jacob’s brows shot up, taking a peek into the bag. Sure enough there sat almost 200 different bottle caps, either from old bottles of beer, Nuka Colas, Quantums, hell, even obscure bottle brands from the west.

“Thank you,” He said, putting the sack into his bag. Ellie looked over at Nick Valentine, who hadn’t looked up from whatever he was doing the entire conversation. Ellie chuckled.

“Sorry, he tends to get a little sucked up by it. Go tap him on the shoulder, then we can talk about your case with you.” She instructed. He nodded and walked past the front desk, tapping Nick lightly on the shoulder. The synth looked up, noticing Jacob and laughing.

“Sorry, sorry, didn’t see you come in. Sit down, please.” He pointed to an old swivel chair sitting before the front desk. “We can get started as soon as you sit down. Did Ellie pay you? I told her to pay you.”

“Don’t worry Nick, I paid him.” Ellie answered.

“Wonderful, let’s get started.” Jacob sat down in the chair, he watched Dogmeat sit on the other side of the room to watch. “Alright, so let’s start from the beginning. Tell me any details you remember, even if they don’t feel important to the case. The devil is in the details, leave no stone unturned.” Nick began, scooting his chair up closer against the desk to bring himself nearer to Jacob.

The initiate frowned slightly, but conceded. They weren’t the most pleasant details, but he wouldn’t get any closer to finding Shaun if he went around keeping secrets. 

“I was in a vault with me and my family. We were cryogenically frozen for 210 years.” He answered. Nick nodded, jotting down the detail onto a clipboard. “I woke up one time, I don’t know when. But these people came in and opened my wife’s pod. They…” He bit down on his lip.

“It’s okay, take your time.” Ellie added softly, standing next to Nick and watching Jacob with concerned eyes.

“They took Shaun from Nora’s arms. They shot her in the head. I- I thought it was a dream but when I woke up she was dead and Shaun was gone.” It was coming back to him in rapid waves, he hadn’t thought about the details of the incident in days. He took a moment to collect himself. “... they called me ‘the backup’.” He finished, looking over to Nick. The detective thought for a moment, murmuring under his breath.

“That sounds too organized for a couple raiders to pull off.” Nick said. “Hell, even for gunners that sounds too planned out.”

“Gunners?” Jacob blinked. Nick looked over and chuckled.

“Yeah you must be pretty uninformed.” He set the clipboard down on the desk. “Raiders are easy to spot, they are ruthless, murdering psychopaths with a thirst for blood and caps. But there are different kinds of raiders. Gunners use laser weapons and wear combat armor head to toe. They’re a little more competent than your average raider, but only a little.” Nick explained. “This doesn’t sound like their MO.”

“Who do you think  _ did _ organize it?”

Nick hesitated, but he said “It sounds an awful lot like the institute. But that’s just speculation. We should get back to the details you found in the moment.”

“Well,” Jacob continued. “My son is only a few months old, I don’t know what you could do with a baby that young.” Nick shrugged.

“Let’s stick to details, not so much speculation. That can only get us so far.” 

“One of them came right up to me. He was bald, he had a scar across one eye-” 

“What?” Nick’s eyes widened. “You didn’t hear the name ‘Kellogg’ at all, did you?”

“Maybe?” Jacob shrugged. “I wasn’t totally all there. It was very hazy.”

“Ellie, look up the file for Kellogg.” Ellie nodded and went through the filing cabinets, she pulled out a file stuffed with papers and pictures, this guy got up to a lot. 

“Known Mercenary, owns an apartment in Diamond city.” She read out. “Current location unknown.” 

“Didn’t he have a kid with-” 

“He has Shaun?” Jacob blurted. “Where is he??” 

“We don’t know, he went missing a few weeks ago along with the kid.” 

Jacob frowned and sunk back down into his chair. “Another dead end, huh?”

“Not exactly.” Nick said. “We could still check out his house. It wouldn’t be the most noble thing to do, but the place is pretty out of sight. Security wouldn’t notice us.”

Jacob hesitated, but agreed. It was at least something, maybe Kellogg had something really suspicious in his house.

As Nick, Dogmeat and Jacob all walked through the streets of Diamond city, Jacob noticed a commotion coming from the center of town. He frowned and went towards it after tugging Nick’s sleeve to signal him to follow. They looked out to the center of town. They saw everyone crowded around the noodle stand, still keeping their distance from the two people in the center. One had a gun pointed directly at the other.

“You’re not even my brother you _ Institute BASTARD.” _ One of them yelled, gripping the gun tighter. “I’ll fucking kill you,  _ how long has he been gone??” _

“Riley you’re being ridiculous!” The other cried, trying to reason with the man. “ _ Please, _ just put the gun down. I’m not a synth! You have to believe me!” 

“You’re just saying that to-” Before Riley could finish the sentence, his head burst as a bullet went through it. A security officer stepped to the body and told everyone to calm down.

“There are  _ no synths _ in Diamond city.” The officer scolded. “Just you folks and you’re damn paranoia. Now get lost! Nothing to see here.” People started to disperse, avoiding eye contact with each other as they cleared the center of town. Nick huffed, pulling his worn fedora a down slightly to hide his synthetic face. He turned around to head back in the direction they were going. Jacob frowned, but followed close by.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Nick apologized. “Issues with synths tend to get out of hand around here.” 

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” Jacob asked.

“I’m fine. I’ve been ‘alive’ for a long time. I can deal with a few pointed glares and directed spit. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“If you insist.” Jacob mumbled, going quiet as the two of them walked in silence. Even Dogmeat was quieter than usual, silently trotting along next to Jacob. They all walked up a ramp, the rickety old thing was being held up by metal rods, pipes, and wooden planks. Who knew how the thing was still even standing. Despite all that, it didn’t sway or shake as they walked to the front of the dark house. All the lights were out inside and out, Jacob flicked on the flashlight on his pip-boy to light up the lock.

“Looks pretty tight. Step aside and let me take a crack at it.” Nick said, stooping down by the lock and pulling out an old bobby pin. He worked for a little while until the pin snapped, causing Nick to start over and eventually give up. “It is shut tight. Kellogg really wanted to hide something.” 

“Or he just wanted really good security.” Jacob suggested.

“Well it’s a split chance. My money’s on the first option.” Nick chuckled. “Why don’t you try?”

“Lucky for you I’m pretty good at picking locks. How many bobby pins do you have?” He asked while he knelt down in front of the lock. Nick handed him an old box of maybe 10 of them, along with an old red screwdriver. Then Jacob got to work.

He had always been pretty good at picking locks, especially when he was a kid. His sister had kept a lock box full of candy that Jacob had broken into on multiple occasions with one of her bobby pins. He only got better at it the older he got, even if it had become a party trick. This lock was pretty difficult, admittedly, but after a few broken bobby pins, he heard the familiar click that meant a job well done. Nick clapped the best he could with his metal skeleton of a hand.

“Nice job, I didn’t know you were a locksmith.”

Jacob shrugged. “It was nothing. Just a party trick.” 

“Whatever you say,” Nick laughed, pushing the door open further. “After you.” 

Jacob stepped into the house. It was pretty small, just a desk, a flickering tv, an old radio, and an ancient rug. There were some rickety wooden stairs that split off into a loft above everything. Jacob poked around the home. The loft had a bed, along with a sleeping bag laid out on the floor. It had a few old comics stuffed inside. Is that where Shaun slept…? That bastard didn’t even give him a real bed. It made him angry just at the thought, making Shaun sleep on the floor. Nick tapped his metal hand on the hard surface of the desk to get Jacob’s attention. 

“Check out this desk, I’ll snoop around the dressers.” Jacob nodded and went back down, searching through drawers and compartments. Finally, he found a red button up against the desk with a wire running along the inside of it and through the floor. He frowned, curiously pressing it. A loud clicking noise made Jacob flinch, and a large part of the wall was lifted up to reveal a whole other room hidden inside the home. Nick whistled. 

“That’s one way to hide your secrets.” The detective mumbled, walking inside. Jacob followed after him.

The inside of the secret room was even smaller than the house itself, there was a red sofa chair in the middle with a small table next to it filled with cigars, old magazines, and empty bottles of beer. The shelf set to the side was filled with supplies to last a few months, and Jacob was already stuffing things into his bag. Nick didn’t even give him a strange glance, which was greatly appreciated. 

Once his bags were full, he took another look around the room. He picked up one of the previously lit cigars and frowned. “San Francisco Sunlights.” He read aloud.

“A merc's favorite things. Not gonna get us anywhere on it’s own, though.” Nick sighed.

Dogmeat pawed at Jacob’s foot, looking up at the cigar curiously. Then, Jacob had an idea. 

“... what if we used Dogmeat.” Jacob suggested. Nick’s face lit up.

“That might work.” The detective smiled. “A commonwealth mutt can sniff a man out for miles. Your dog might lead us directly to Kellogg”

“Really?”

“Yep.” Nick chuckled and patted Dogmeat’s head. “Looks like we have a plan of action.”

“We can head out tomorrow morning, get Dogmeat on the scent the whole day.”

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll meet you beyond the gate, then.” 

Jacob smiled happily. “Sounds like a plan.” 

Now that he and the detective had a plan, there was nowhere Kellogg could go that they couldn’t find him. They had the merc cornered, and Jacob was thrilled to give that asshole what he deserved. A bullet to the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super proud of this chapter, but I'm posting it anyway to continue the story. I hope everyone likes it so far, it's gotten a small boost in hits which is a good sign, please comment and leave kudos if you want more. I'm gonna give more anyway I just think hearing it would be nice.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to message me or follow me. I'm active a lot.


	7. October 28th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Valentine and Jacob follow Dogmeat's lead to Fort Hagen, where they plan to bust down the door and find Shaun. Jacob is excited to finally rescue his son and fulfill his final promise to Nora, but the Commonwealth is always there to disappoint.

Jacob and Nick walked along 200 year old train tracks, following a dog that was happily bounding ahead of them towards wherever Shaun was being kept. They had left that morning, following Dogmeat’s trail Northwest through the thin forests and broken roads. It was a cloudy afternoon, the bright sun hidden by thick clouds that showed signs of a light drizzle in the near future. The weather was getting colder, Jacob had bought a thick brown coat to put over his old fatigues and armor. It was worn, the hood was sloppily sewn up and the edges were ripped, but it was completely serviceable for the time being, especially since it was nearing the end of Fall. Nick still wore the same trench coat and worn fedora, because apparently the detective couldn’t even feel cold. Dogmeat didn’t seem affected by the slight change in weather, still wagging his tail and happily bounding through the wasteland. 

The trip had been uneventful so far, the only remarkable thing that they experienced was a huge irradiated bear coming out from the bushes to attack the group. Jacob and Nick made quick work of the thing after a bit of distance and a few shots in some select areas on the animal’s body. Nick educated Jacob about the interesting wildlife of the commonwealth as they went. The bears were called Yao Guais, and were pretty ferocious when at full strength. 

Jacob’s wounds had healed over after more stimpaks and some treatment from Diamond City’s resident doctor. Thanks to him, some med-x, and a full day of rest Jacob was ready to get his son back from the bastard that killed his wife. 

He looked down at his Pip-boy, flipping curiously to the map. 

“Alright it looks like we’re getting close to Fort Hagen. “ Fort Hagen had been an important military command station in Massachusetts back before the bombs had dropped, Jacob recognized the general area, since it was a pretty obvious circle of roads around the area. “Maybe that’s where Kellogg is?”

Nick shrugged. “It’d make sense to me. That place is pretty secure, all he’d have to do is take over the security system and add some blockades and he has a fortress that’d be pretty hard to get into.”

“And with the institute maybe helping out he’d probably have his own army of synths.”

“Good point.” Nick agreed. “This is gonna be one doozy of a fight.”

The group stopped at the front entrance of Fort Hagen, the front was unsurprisingly boarded off. Dogmeat barked, looking up at Jacob with a determined look in his adorable eyes.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Nick asked. “Dogmeat can stay behind, and I can go in and help you investigate.” Jacob thought for a moment.

He was still slightly hesitant about working with a synth. However, the logical part of his mind knew that Nick was smart and useful to keep close on this mission. Jacob sighed and nodded, shaking the synth detective’s metal skeletal hand to seal the agreement.

“Once we get out of there we can decide if we should split up or not, especially since I should have Shaun back by then.” Jacob decided. He told Dogmeat to stay put, and he and Nick walked around the large facility to find a way inside.

There were some rickety old construction stairs around the back, leading up to the roof. They followed up, taking out the occasional weak turret until they made it to the roof entrance. Nick goes first, carefully opening up the hatch for Jacob to follow. Once they were inside, Jacob quietly stepped into the nearby kitchen, staying close to the wall and listening. Sure enough, the next room sounded like it had a few synths roaming the area. They were in for a fight. Jacob loaded his rifle, staying close to the wall and quiet as he could. 

When Jacob stepped out of the kitchen, he caught the attention of a synth with a missing arm, who started to run towards him. Jacob kicked it, sending it back to the ground, he then shot it in the head and chest. This alerted every other synth in the area. Nick swore. 

Jacob went back into the zone. Shaun was in this building, he was waiting for him to rescue him. All he had to do was clear this building out and he’d have his boy back, then they could go off together somewhere safe. They moved through room after room, Jacob bashed and shot at synth after synth while Nick stayed behind him with a pipe pistol out to back him up. Jacob was pissed off and determined, and goddamn he was stubborn. He would kick down Kellogg’s door himself if it meant finding his son. And at this point he had already kicked through the door. After a few rooms, Jacob and Nick went down in an elevator. They went down for a little while, down to an unknown floor and to a long hallway. As they walked through, Jacob noticed the synth groups growing more concentrated. Nick said that meant they were getting close.

He stepped down some concrete stairs into the lower levels of the basement, and as he turned a corner a voice came on over the intercom. 

“Well if it isn’t my old friend the frozen Tv dinner.” A low voice said. Jacob flinched and stopped in his tracks. The voice laughed. “You know, last time I saw you, you were cozied up with the peas and apple cobbler.” Jacob looked around him for Kellogg, all the alarm bells going off in his head. Nick patted his shoulder and pointed at a speaked above their heads. Kellogg wasn’t with them. He was hiding like a coward.

Jacob’s hands trembled as he reloaded his rifle, the reality of the situation getting to him. Kellogg was dangerous, and there was a chance his son wasn’t even here. What if his son wasn’t even here? Nick squeezed his shoulder to bring him back to the present, and they continued forwards through the dim hallway. 

“I’ll give you credit. I didn’t think you’d make it this far. I gave you 50/50 odds of making it to diamond city, but afterwards? I thought the commonwealth was gonna chew you up like jerky.” Kellogg drawled, sounding incredibly smug. “If you want to make your life a little longer,  _ turn around. _ ”

Jacob didn’t even stop, he just kept on walking.

The two stopped at a long hallway. The lights were barely flickering on and off, and the middle of the hallway was partially caved in. There were 3 normal synths, but one that was heavily armored and armed. Jacob took a deep breath and ran into the fray, taking down the 3 normal synths with Nick’s help, then ducking down behind a cart for cover while he took shots at the armored synth. It beeped and yelled nonsense that Jacob didn’t process, and as Nick gave it one last good whack to the head, part of the head popped off and hit the ground. Nick rearranged a bit of the wiring in his arm, then after a bit of fixing and stimpak applying the two were ready to continue.

Jacob’s breath was heavy, his left shoulder aching because a synth had shot him with a laser, he planned to keep fighting though, he had to keep fighting for Shaun. 

“I’m giving you your last few warnings,” Kellogg continued. “Turn around and just leave. I’m sorry your house has been in shambles for 200 years, but I’m not looking for any room mates.” 

The more that motherfucker talked the angrier Jacob got, taking down synths and laser turrets with more and more rage as he went on. Kellogg was only provoking his flames, that wasn’t going to end well in his favor.

The two began walking through what looked like much cleaner rooms, with real wallpapers and not many control consoles in sight. They were on the lowest level of the basement, which meant they had to be getting close. Not to mention Kellogg’s warnings had grown in number, with much less time in between. They reached a last set of double doors and stopped in a round room with a hospital bed and a few newly set up computer consoles scattered around the room. There was an ammo container to the left, set on a table. It was sloppily locked, and easy to pop open and loot before they both walked to the red wooden door at the end of the circular room. A chill went down his spine, this had to be it. Sure enough, Kellogg’s reluctant voice came on over the intercom.

“Alright, you got me.” He sighed. “My synths are standing down. Let’s talk.” The door unlocked, and Jacob was the first to open it and step through.

The long control room was dark, the only light coming from the slowly flashing buttons on rows and rows of consoles. As Jacob stepped further into the room, lights above buzzed and flickered on one by one, revealing the mercenary standing in the middle of the room with his hands held high in sign of surrender. Jacob didn’t put away his gun. He wouldn’t dare trust a man like Kellogg to actually surrender.

“Ah, there he is,” Kellogg articulated, stepping closer to Jacob with his hands still held up. The grizzled mercenary looked too relaxed, and as he looked around he noticed his son was nowhere in sight.

“Where. Is. My. Son.” Jacob spat through grit teeth.

“Awe well it looks like you’re too late, he’s in good hands.” Kellogg chuckled, slowly lowering his hands while he spoke.

“Shut the hell up, you Mercenary motherfucker, where the hell is my son?” He yelled.

“I already told you. He’s a bit older than you remember, but he’s in good hands.”

“ _ Answer me!”  _ Jacob barked.

“Fine, fine.” Kellogg sighed. “He’s with the institute. He’s safe, he’s with people who care about him.”

“How do I get into the Institute?” Jacob asked, growing notably desperate.

“You can’t. This is the end of the line, you’ll never be able to take Shaun.”

“Nothing will stop me. Not even you dirty Institute mother fuckers and your stupid people machines. I  _ will _ find my son, one way or another.” he growled.

“I have to respect your determination,” Kellogg chuckled. “But we both know how this will end. You ready?”

“I was born ready.” Jacob spat, then there was chaos. 

Kellogg smiled, and disappeared. He was using a goddamn stealth boy, and was nowhere to be seen. The synths around him started shooting, and Nick told Jacob he would take care of the synths. He ducked down behind a console, looking around frantically for any strange waves in the air around him, and when he finally noticed them he aimed and fired. It hit Kellogg, thankfully, blood splattered up what used to be an invisible image. 

All Jacob could see was blood floating in the air while Kellogg cursed and groaned across the room. Perfect. He ran towards Kellogg, shooting again in the area where the blood splatter was. Kellogg shot back with his revolver, hitting Jacob in the shoulder. He ducked down and injected a stimpak, keeping an eye on Kellogg’s advanced out of the corner of his eye. When the stimpak was injected, he advanced back into the room and directly to Kellogg. The mercenary shot again and missed, only grazing one of Jacob’s thighs. He bashed Kellogg with his rifle, and the stealth-boy flickered away, showing a bloodied Kellogg advancing back to the other side of the room.

Jacob shot at him, hitting him in the arm and chest. There was no way he’d last much longer, the bullets he was using were pretty big, and after multiple gunshot wounds he would be weakened in no time. Kellogg disappeared again, but the blood on his chest and arm made it pretty much useless. They fought, bashing guns, blocking, and shooting each other before Kellogg’s aim became notably worse. Finally, the mercenary reappeared, and Jacob kicked him down to the floor onto his back. Kellogg coughed heavily.

“Damn,” He groaned. “You’re not as soft as I thought, huh?” He smiled weakly, looking up at Jacob. 

“I will find my son.” Was all Jacob said before he blasted his brains out all over the concrete floor.

-

The room was completely silent after that, Nick didn’t dare make a comment as Jacob stood silently over the now dead Kellogg. After a minute of silence, he set his gun carefully down on the ground, feelings tears prick up in the corners of his eyes.

_ His son was gone. _ There was no hope finding him now. There was nothing Jacob could do. He had broken his promise to Nora, he said he would find Shaun, that they would be a family again. But it was all for nothing. The only source to Shaun he had was left to rot under his feet. Next thing Jacob knew he was crying, and Nick was patting his shoulder to calm him down.

“Hey, it’s okay. The case isn’t lost yet. It never is.” The synth said softly. Jacob cried, trying to stifle his sobs with sniffles and curses. Nick sighed softly and squeezed Jacob’s shoulder before letting go and stooping down to search through Kellogg’s coat. He walked away not long after, going through Kellogg’s old terminal on the desk nearby. Jacob just cried it all out.

What was he going to do now, aimlessly wander? Nothing to his name but some fucked up brotherhood and a few pre-war stories no one would care enough to listen to. His son was impossible to reach, there was no hope for Jacob.

Nick waited for him to calm down, he had gotten some information, but he knew Jacob would need a while to process whatever was going on right now. Eventually, he stooped down, starting to pick through Kellogg’s remains. He noticed multiple pieces of equipment and robotics that had been attached to him, including one piece of wired together brain that sat there in the middle of the puddle that used to be his head. Jacob didn’t care, he just wiped it off on his pants and stuffed it into his pocket.

Jacob gulped down the rest of his sadness and said, “Sorry. Let’s just… get out of here.”

“Alright,” Nick nodded, opening the security doors for Jacob and letting him go into the elevator to the surface first. The ride up was completely silent, save for a few coughs and sniffles.

Once they reached the top, Nick accessed the terminal and opened the final door outside, and when Jacob stepped out, he was welcomed by a sight so amazing it almost distracted him from his own feeling of empty hopelessness.

A  _ huge _ airship crept through the sky, buzzing vertibirds whizzing around below it. The sight was absolutely gorgeous, large, brilliant spotlights were placed along the bottom, which lit the entire airship up in the brilliant sky. While Jacob gawked up on it a loudspeaker clicked on from the air, and someone started to speak.

_ “People of the commonwealth.” _ They began.  _ “You have nothing to fear. We are the Brotherhood of Steel. We come in peace.” _

Jacob gasped. This must be the reinforcements that Haylen had told him about, they arrived much earlier than Jacob thought they would, which meant that they must be here on serious business. The message repeated as the giant airship flew in the direction of the Boston Airport. 

“Deep into that darkness peering,” Nick mumbled from next to Jacob. “Long I stood there, wondering, fearing.” Jacob looked back at the Synth detective and frowned slightly. Nick sighed and shrugged.

“What now?” he asked softly.

“Well,” Nick began solemnly. “I found some info on Kellogg’s terminal. He really did give your boy to the institute.” Jacob frowned. “But that doesn’t mean our search isn’t over. I’m gonna head back to diamond city. You can go work through your feelings with Dogmeat. When you want to continue the case, just come to my office.”

“Thanks, Nick.”

“No problem.” He said. “I’m just doing my job.” Jacob watched the detective walk away, back towards the direction they came in. He sighed softly and turned his back to Nick, walking back to where they had left Dogmeat to wait for them. He sat down on the front steps and looked out at the evening sky. It still hadn’t rained, and Jacob could see the gray clouds approaching them inch by inch. Dogmeat trotted over to him and sat next to him, nuzzling Jacob’s arm lightly so he could push under it and onto his lap. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks boy,” He mumbled, petting Dogmeat’s fur lightly. He pulled up his pip-boy, the warmth of dogmeat comforting him over the awful day he’s had. He noticed a new radio alert from Cambridge police station. Jacob tuned in.

“This is Paladin Danse,” The paladin spoke through the transmission. “Calling all Brotherhood recruits, please come to Cambridge Police Station as soon as possible.” The message repeated, and Jacob sighed softly.

If he wasn’t going to find his son, he might as well run with the Brotherhood for a while. Staying on the side that had the army and the airship seemed like a good way to go. He got up, and he and dogmeat started walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I am also not very proud of this chapter, but I'm gonna push it out of the way so we can get to the juicy emotional bits. Very excited to start writing for Paladin Danse again. Please comment and leave Kudos if you like what you're reading, I'll still post chapters but it'll be more reliable if you show support.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to see when I post new chapters or just wanna share my feelings. You can message me too.


	8. October 29th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Initiate Jacob Roberts returns to the Cambridge Police Station, and Danse and Haylen both greet him when he shows up. He's exhausted, but he plans to rest on the airship once Danse takes him up there himself. He has to say goodbye to a few friends, but in return he is welcomed into the Brotherhood of Steel with open arms.

Nick had gone South East back to diamond city, while Jacob decided to head North East towards Cambridge. He and Dogmeat traveled for another half of a day, from evening to the break of dawn. By the time Jacob could see the silhouette of the police station, his movements were groggy and his eyes were heavy. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically, and he could only imagine how he looked after the past few days. He stopped outside the front gate and started to dig through his bag for something to boost his energy before he started swearing at the Paladin. He opened his only bottle of Nuka Cola Quantum and drank a good portion of it, mentally praying that caffeine was still present in these things.

The boost hit him quickly, thank god, and he walked inside the police station. That place was heavily guarded now, much more Brotherhood personnel roaming around the outside of the station. An orange flag was hung above the front double doors, and as Jacob walked in he was welcomed by a slightly cleaner, and much more organized police station. There were no longer mattresses pressed up against the walls in the first room, but desks instead. Scribes were chatting amongst themselves around the desks, talking about life or whatever interesting pre-war things they had found over the last few days. Haylen noticed Jacob and walked over to him with a smile on her face.

“Wow, you look like a mess, did that trip to Diamond City help at all?” She laughed, giving Dogmeat a pat hello before straightening to continue talking to Jacob.

“Oh uh…” He frowned. “No, not exactly. I spent the whole night walking here from west near Fort Hagen.” He still felt a little distant, probably because of the exhaustion.

“Oh that explains why you look so tired.” She frowned back. “I’d offer you some rest here before you head out, but Danse wants to take you up to the Prydwen himself, and he’s very excited. You can get some rest on the airship.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. You look exhausted, and you can’t use a minigun when you can’t keep your eyes open. Top performance means peak physical health, so get some rest and take care of yourself.”

Jacob nodded. “Alright. Where’s Danse? I want to head up to the airship as soon as I can.”

“He’s waiting for you through that open door on the left of the room, he should be near the stairs. If he isn’t there he’s in his office.” She answered.

“Awesome, I’ll get going then.” He said. But she stopped him before he could walk away. 

“I uh… I do have one question though, Jacob.”

“Yeah?”

“Can Dogmeat stay here? I don’t think the air is the best place for a dog. And I can send him to the airport whenever you want.” She asked, looking down at Dogmeat, who was sitting politely next to Jacob on the floor.

He hesitated, but maybe it really was for the best. Who knew what was going on in that huge airship, Dogmeat could get hurt. “Alright,” Jacob agreed. “He can stay here for a little. I’ll get some jobs done and come back to get him soon.” Haylen smiled at that.

“I’ll take good care of him, and try not to keep Danse waiting, alright?”

“Yeah I wouldn’t want to see him angry.” Jacob joked, already walking away through the door on the left towards the stairwell where Danse was apparently waiting. Dogmeat stayed with Haylen as he walked away, sadly whimpering while Haylen pet his fur to comfort him.

Dogmeat had been his loyal companion for the past week, but maybe it was for the best to leave him down here instead of force him onto a crowded airship. It just wasn’t the right environment for a dog like him, and Jacob wouldn’t be saying goodbye forever. He just needed to do a couple jobs for the Brotherhood and then he’d come back to give Dogmeat a better long-term home. He was just parting ways for a little bit, it was for the better.

Danse was waiting next to the staircase up to the room, clad in his power armor like usual with his helmet in hand. He saw Jacob and smiled slightly.

“Initiate Roberts, it’s fantastic to see you in one piece. I’m thrilled you got our message.” The paladin greeted, giving him a firm Brotherhood salute. Jacob returned the gesture.

“Yes Paladin, Haylen told me there would be an announcement, and I couldn’t ignore the huge airship flying through the sky.” Danse chuckled at the statement.

“It is quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yes sir.” Jacob agreed. He knew his voice sounded tired, the caffeine from the cola was the only thing keeping him upright right now. Danse clearly noticed.

“Initiate,” He addressed. 

“Yes sir?”

“Try and get more rest while you’re on the Prydwen. I can’t trust you to stay vigilant if you can barely keep your eyes open. Top performance means-”

“Peak physical health.” Jacob finished. “I’m aware sir, I’ve had a rough week.”

“Well I hope you can discipline yourself while in the Brotherhood, it’s the best for your health.” Jacob couldn’t tell if he was being scolded or cared about, but it sounded like that gray area is where Danse always stood. “Let’s get going, there is a vertibird waiting on the roof to take us up to the Prydwen.”

As Danse opened the door to the roof, the loud whirring of Vertibird blades was heard from not far, and as Jacob followed Danse towards the craft the whole vessel was revealed. It was in peak condition, which was impressive. It had been 200 years since these things had seen use, Jacob had only gotten to fly in a couple himself, but it had been a very long time. Danse flipped his helmet in his hands and put it on his head, letting it click securely into place on his Power Armor. He climbed up on one side of the vertibird, and Jacob hauled himself aboard on the other side. He reached up and gripped the firm pipe that was bolted to the ceiling that they were supposed to hang onto when the thing took off. When the craft took off, the winds blew high over both of them, and Cambridge began to shrink below them. Danse spoke up.

“There’s a minigun right in front of you, if you see any hostiles, be sure to put it to good use.” He instructed. “But make sure to identify the target before firing. We don’t want to shoot down any locals after only being here for a day.” Jacob nodded. He understood that logic.

The building shrunk under them as the craft carried them through the air, the mutants below beginning to look like ants from their point of view. Jacob looked around, admiring the crumbling highways above the cities, along with the massive skyscrapers not far away in Boston.

“The commonwealth looks different from here, doesn’t it?” Danse asked, speaking fondly of the wasteland below. “It never ceases to amaze me how drastically your perspective of the battlefield can change from the air. I hope that perspective gives us an advantage in our fight against the Institute.” He continued, now speaking more seriously. Jacob listened and watched the city below move from under his feet. As they flew around the ruins of C.I.T. Danse continued to speak. “The Institute has shown themselves to be more technologically advanced than even us, which means we’ll have to up our game drastically to even stand a chance against them. However, I know our collective expertise and determination will help us take them down.”

The thought of the Institute made Jacob’s heart sink. Of course, everything had to be about the Institute. He thought maybe he could ignore the bastards that kidnapped his son, just for a little bit. But apparently that attempt would be fruitless. It’d always come back to the Institute. As they flew through the sky, they started to fly around the large skyscrapers in the middle of Boston, some were destroyed almost completely, nothing but their reinforced skeletons left to tell the tale of a much cleaner and put together past. 

“We’re nearing the Airport,” Danse informed the Initiate. “I expect Elder Maxson will already have a plan by the time we arrive.”

“Who?” Jacob mumbled, looking back curiously at the armored Paladin.

“Oh,” Danse chuckled. “Elder Maxson is the most respected man in the Brotherhood.” The Paladin explained. “He has led us all to glory more times than I can count over the past 10 years, his fantastic skills in strategy and raw strength is what brought the Brotherhood to victory almost every time. If anyone has a plan on how to deal with the Institute, it’s him.” Jacob nodded, looking back out at the city before them. After a small second of silence Danse continued. “The Brotherhood is the last hope for the Commonwealth, but the locals below are blinded by rumors and misinformation. Cleansing the Commonwealth is our duty, and I will  _ gladly  _ spill my own blood to ensure our victory.”

As they flew closer to the airport, Jacob noticed the airship looming ahead of them. It grew even more impressive the closer they got to it, there were people moving and working below in the airport, along with the signs of people working on the flight deck below the main hull. 

“We’re close, as you can see.” Danse said. “Once we dock, we’re speaking to Lancer Captain Kells for our instructions, just stay close to me.” 

“Yes sir.” Jacob nodded. The Vertibird docked, a long robotic arm clicked into place on top of the Vertibird and pulled it in towards the hull of the ship. The blades stopped spinning, now securely held up by the ship. Jacob jumped down onto the flight deck first, moving out of the way for Danse to jump down after him.

The flight deck was a sight to see. There were so many intricate parts, all being kept working by a few scribes working in the corners on pipes and gears. There were 4 separate docking stations, and there was one parked on the other side of the deck, no pilot inside for the time being. Jacob followed Danse onto the main deck, where a man was waiting in a black uniform and had similar to Haylen’s red uniform.

“Paladin Danse, may I be the first to congratulate you on a successful op.” The man said, giving the Paladin a salute.

“Thank you Captain Kells.” Danse answered, saluting back. “What are my instructions, sir?”

“You are to wait on the Prydwen until further instruction. And you’ll be happy to know that Elder Maxson has placed this new recruit under your supervision.” Danse nodded, and then walked down the deck towards the entrance of the airship. Lancer Captain Kells turned to Jacob and scanned him up and down.

“So you’re the new recruit Danse speaks so highly of. You don’t look much like a soldier.”

Jacob straightened his posture. “Looks can be deceiving, sir.”

“Aren’t they always? Just so you know, you may have gotten a recommendation from Paladin Danse, but you won’t be getting any special treatment from me. Actions speak louder than that, in my eyes. If you want my respect, you have to earn it. Do you understand, Initiate?”

“Absolutely, sir.” 

“Fantastic, then we won’t have many issues with each other. I assume you have questions, if you want to ask me anything right now, go ahead.”

“Paladin Danse answered most of my questions on the flight here.”

“Outstanding, then you can have your orders.” Captain Kells affirmed. “You are to go into the briefing room directly through that door and listen to Elder Maxson’s address. Then, he wishes to speak to you directly. Further instructions will be given by him. Ad Victorium, recruit.”

“Ad Victorium.” They saluted each other, and Jacob walked away through the front entrance to the Airship.

The inside of the Prydwen's command center was interesting. There was a long staircase that went down into a room filled with consoles and scribes all piloting the ship to keep it hovering in the air. Just above the staircase below was a wide ladder with thick steps to accommodate for Power Armor which probably went up to the main deck of the ship. Jacob walked past the stairs and ladder, into a room. The walls were lined with windows, and all 4 corners of the room had Brotherhood of Steel flags set on poles. There were a few couches pressed up against the wall. The room was filled with 6 brotherhood soldiers, either scribes or knights, all standing at attention in front of one man at the far end of the room. He wore a brotherhood uniform in pure charcoal black underneath a thick brown coat with fur lining. His hair was slicked back and shaved on the sides, a thick beard growing along his jaw and cheeks. There was a scar under his right eye, the places where stitches had once been still visible even after many years. He was surprisingly young, but he still looked incredibly strong and intimidating. That must be Elder Maxson.

“Since our arrival in the Commonwealth, I have to admire your determination as a group.” The elder spoke, his voice firm and unwavering. “You’ve gone above and beyond in this expedition so far, surpassing all of my expectations without a  _ hint _ of purpose or direction, and most importantly, without question. And now that we are here, I will reveal our purpose and core mission in the Commonwealth.” The scribes and knights stood straighter, listening quietly to the Elder’s strong words. Jacob listened, captivated by the man’s sheer confidence. 

“Beneath the commonwealth, is a cancer.” Maxson revealed. “The Institute. It must be cut before it infects the surface.” He turned, facing the window to the city before them. “They have created a weapon that  _ transcends  _ the destructive nature of the Atom Bomb. The Synth. The synth is a free-thinking monstrosity that masquerades as a human being. This is not only offensive, but incredibly dangerous.” He paused for a moment. “The Institute and their synths are an enemy of the Brotherhood, and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. I will leave you with this, this campaign will be dangerous, and a lot of people will be lost. But in the end, we will reign victorious.  _ Ad Victorium _ .”

Elder Maxson turned back to the group, giving them a strong salute. They all saluted back, echoing their warcry with as much determination as the Elder. The group dispersed, going back to whatever they were doing. This left Jacob and Maxson alone in the room. He stepped closer to the elder, clearing his throat. Maxson looked over at Jacob and sighed.

“I care about them you know, the people of the commonwealth.” He spoke solemnly, much less charged than he had been a moment ago.

“I can see that.” Jacob answered. “They’re playing with fire, and we have to save them.”

“I just hope we got here in time.” The elder admitted, glancing out the window at the wasteland.

“What do you expect from me, Elder Maxson?”

“I expect you to be loyal, and to make a difference on this planet.” Maxson answered. “And from what I’ve read in Paladin Danse’s reports, you’ve already begun that journey. Because of the Paladin’s words, you couldn’t have gotten a better recommendation in my eyes. He is a highly respected field agent. I’ve placed you in good hands.”

“Thank you sir.”

“I am now going to grant you the rank of Knight, from what I’ve read about your expertise on the field, you seem more than deserving of the title. And before you ask, you will be issued your own set of Power Armor. Wear it with pride, Knight.”

“Thank you so much, Elder. I’ll do my best to honor the Brotherhood.” Jacob replied.

“Fantastic. I suggest you get familiar with the Prydwen and my staff. Once you’re ready, report to Lancer Captain Kells on the flight deck for your next instructions.”

“Yes sir. Ad Victorium.” Jacob said, saluting the elder. Maxson smiled and returned the salute. Jacob turned around to climb up the ladder to the main deck of the Prydwen.

It had only been a few minutes, and Jacob already highly admired Elder Maxson’s determination. The Brotherhood was the right group to get behind, he would be in good hands here. For some strange reason, he already felt a little at home on the huge airship. He’d be alright. Now he just needed to meet the crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slightly more proud of this one, now that I have a clear and obvious path that the story is gonna go down. I'm experiencing some burnout, specifically in school and writing. So if I go weirdly silent, don't be alarmed. If I push stuff out it'll just all turn out bad. We don't want that. This is a long winded way of saying I'm taking a small break. I'm just gonna relax and try my best to rest.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you want to message me or see my weird late night posts.


	9. October 30th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob takes a tour through the Prydwen with Paladin Danse by his side. The Brotherhood is already beginning to feel like family, and a safe refuge for him, especially with Elder Maxson at the helm.

Jacob climbed up onto the main deck of the Prydwen, and was welcomed by a room of metal walls connecting to a long hallway. He walked through the halls, passing by the occasional scribe carrying books and devices, or the occasional knight, trying to get some big assignments done in the early dawn of the morning. Jacob was given the occasional glance, but no one seemed to care too much about why he was here. They just continued talking amongst themselves as Jacob passed by them. He stepped into a small mess hall, which opened into a much bigger room he hadn’t gotten a good look at. Scribes and Knights sat gossiping and talking to themselves at the two tables in the mess hall, one particularly grumpy looking scribe stood behind the counter, serving soldiers beans, veggies, and chunks of cram.  _ Such fine cuisine.  _

They didn’t pay him any mind, just a few meaningless glances. No different than the rest of the people he had passed by. Jacob continued into a huge room that didn’t have a wall or ceiling, unlike the previous mess hall. It opened out into the interior of the Prydwen, a long catwalk stretching overhead from the second floor. There were a few short walls, and pressed against them were multiple Power Armor stations with big white number labels behind them on the metal walls. Some armors were missing from their stations, most likely in use, but as Jacob looked to his right he noticed Paladin Danse speaking with a woman in a frame of power armor about something, standing in front of the station labelled ‘01’. Jacob approached them, trying to listen to whatever they were talking about.

“So let me get this straight,” The woman began. “Your recruit blasted you with a 200-something year old rocket thruster, and you didn’t even bother to check on the joints of your suit?” 

Danse’s face reddened slightly. “Uh.. I uhm… yes.” The woman laughed loudly.

“You are ridiculous. I’m gonna have to do some heavy maintenance on that thing.” She admitted. Danse frowned deeply at the notion. “Don’t worry, don’t worry, you’ll get your second skin back.” She teased

“This is not my ‘second skin’, proctor. I can get out whenever I please.” The paladin huffed, giving the women a stern look. 

“Then you shouldn’t have any problem getting out of it and letting me fix it.” She smiled. Danse grit his teeth but conceded, positioning himself and getting out of his power armor at the station. The woman looked over at Jacob and chuckled.

“You’re the recruit that blasted the Paladin here?” She asked.

“Oh…” Jacob chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah? In my humble defense, I was being an idiot.”

“Yeah that isn’t looking good for you. Luckily he’s alive, or you probably wouldn’t be accepted onto the Prydwen. Danse is our pride and joy.” The woman chuckled and pat Danse’s now armorless shoulder. The Paladin winced at the impact. “See? Wearing that suit isn’t doing any good for your back. This is a good thing. You need a break.” The Paladin huffed and rolled his eyes, not ready to admit defeat.

“I take good care of myself, Proctor Ingram, the suit is just for my protection.” Danse insisted. 

“And yet you still wear it around wherever you go.” Proctor Ingram laughed again. Danse looked at Jacob, finally addressing his presence.

“Ah Initiate Roberts, growing familiar with the airship?”

“Actually it’s Knight Roberts. I was promoted after the Elder’s speech.” Danse smiled happily at the news.

“Outstanding. Congratulations, Knight.” He praised, stepping back from the power armor station to let Ingram take over.

“I’m Proctor Ingram,” The woman said while carefully removing the plates of armor from the worn frame. “Head of Engineering, I fix power armor, take care of the ship, essentially keep the thing afloat in the air.” She explained.

“Uh… if it isn’t too much to ask,” Jacob started. “Why are you wearing power armor?” The proctor chuckled.

“It surprises me that you haven’t already noticed, kid.” She pointed to her legs… or where they would be. The frame around her legs was completely empty, just two stubs left to control the power armor frame.

Jacob blinked. He felt stupid for not noticing immediantly, and he struggled to stay polite. “Oh! Well that’s interesting. You probably have an amazing story from that.” He stammered. The proctor shrugged in response.

“I mean it’s pretty cool in reflection.” She admitted. “I fell a good 100 feet in a malfunctioning power armor suit. Crushed my legs. It took Cade a while to alter my power armor, but now I can work for the brotherhood from here. I still do my part, and I keep the whole place running.”

“That story doesn’t sound that cool.” Jacob mumbled awkwardly.

“Well if I keep saying it is, people will start to believe it. I’ve been in the Brotherhood a long time, trust me, that was a long time ago. I’ve even been in it longer than Danse here.”

“For your information, I’ve served loyal to the brotherhood for 7 years, and I wouldn’t trade them for a thing. You’ve only been here for 12. We aren’t far off, Proctor.” Danse stressed, straightening his posture slightly.

Jacob only just realized how naturally tall Danse even was. He was used to him being taller in the suit, so he didn’t even really notice at first. He looked about 6’3, definitely taller than himself, he was a measly 5’11 (which wasn’t even that short to begin with). Danse noticed him staring and chuckled.

“Yes, I know I’m tall.” He said. Proctor Ingram laughed. Jacob’s cheeks reddened and he looked away.

“Yeah he’s tall, I’ve watched him hit his head on so many low doorways in the hangars. Plus not all the suits fit him, this man wears through frames faster than any human should.” 

“I feel very attacked.” Danse grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m the woman fixing your power armor, you can let me dunk on you or you can learn how to take care of this stuff yourself.” Jacob chuckled at the Proctor’s statement. He had to admit, making fun of the Paladin was pretty fun. It was all just a joke anyway. The Paladin scoffed and changed the conversation.

“Speaking of anything else, Knight, go get some rest.” He ordered, pointing to a set of stairs with a gloved hand.

“But I feel fine!” Jacob argued.

“You don’t look fine.” Danse insisted, sending him a pointed glare. “Rest, take a load off, your bed should be upstairs and labeled. You can’t miss it.”

“Danse come on-” 

“That’s an order, Knight.”

Jacob frowned but conceded, walking up the nearby stairs and up to the second level of the Prydwen’s main deck.

The second level had beds lining the corners of the railings, each had a large metal box at the end of the bed, along with a duffle bag with a Brotherhood Patch stitched into the fabric. Jacob looked around for anything labeled with his name, and sure enough the middle bed on the left had a metal box labeled with his full name,  _ ‘Jacob Roberts’ _ . He felt a slight swell of pride at the sight, he really did feel like he belonged up here. It was so much more different to the empty, hopeless, and lost feeling he had been experiencing the past week. He opened the lid of the metal box.

Inside was a neatly folded Brotherhood of Steel uniform. It was similar to Danse’s and the rest of the knights he had been passing, a familiar worn orange color with creme and faded turquoise accents. Other than that and a set of Brotherhood Tags, the box was mostly empty, which left plenty of room for Jacob to set his bag down inside the box for the time being. After that, he immediately laid down on the bed, drifting off to sleep very quickly. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until he laid down and closed his eyes.

-

The knight woke up a little before noon, forcing himself to get up or threaten ruining his sleep schedule for the next few days. He spent a little while trying to make himself more presentable in one of the bathrooms set in the corners of the upstairs barracks, specifically shaving with a combat knife he had found a while ago and never used. He didn’t think he could ever pull off a beard, but shaving in this day and age was going to be a pain in the ass. Once he was stepping down the stairs he was mostly clean-shaven and clad in his Brotherhood uniform, ready to continue. He stepped into the mess hall and spotted Paladin Danse, now back in his repaired power armor. He looked ready for action, despite being set to stay on the Prydwen for a long while. Jacob walked over to him.

“Paladin Danse,” he spoke, catching the attention of the Paladin, who looked down and nodded slightly.

“Outstanding, you look fully rested.” Danse commented.

“I only got a few hours, I plan on getting a good amount of sleep tonight to make up for it. Unless I have to go on an op or something.”

“Well from what I understand all you need to do right now is meet the staff on the Prydwen. The mission waiting for you on the flight deck didn’t look urgent. Just a clear and retrieve operation, incredibly basic.” Danse explained, 

“How exciting.” The knight chuckled, moving next to Danse to continue the conversation without getting in anyone’s way.

“I said it was basic, not unnecessary, Knight.” The Paladin reminded the knight. “And if you wish for me to join you in introducing you to the crew, I wouldn’t object.”

Jacob thought over it for a moment but decided to agree. He’d be working with Danse for a while longer after this, he might as well get to know him. “Alright, we can go together. I could use the company, and some help with directions. I’m assuming you know this place inside and out?”

“Not as much as Proctor Ingram.” He admitted. “But yes, I am extremely familiar with the airship.”

“Then you should be excellent company.” Jacob smiled, “let’s get going.” He said, walking down the hall he had first entered the Prydwen through. Danse nodded and followed behind him.

The banging and clanking of Danse’s power armor was still slightly uncomfortable to hear from behind his back, but definitely a little less than their first trip to Arcjet Systems. That was only 5 days ago, which Jacob didn’t even fully believe. It felt like it had been 5 years, and that Jacob and Danse were already fantastic friends. But maybe Jacob was just clingy. That was definitely the answer. He had been more independent when he was younger. Maybe a kid, a marriage, and a heavy amount of trauma in the span of a few days really wore down on him.

They stopped in between two doorways just in front of the main ladder to and from the control room. Danse directed Jacob into the room on the right, and they were greeted by a man with gray shaved hair and a white and red scribe-looking uniform. He greeted the Paladin politely.

“Lovely to see you again, Paladin Danse.” He spoke professionally, his voice steady and sure. Danse smiled slightly.

“Same to you, Knight-Captain Cade.” He answered. The Paladin addressed Jacob, waving an armored hand in his direction. “This is our new Knight. I’m his sponsor, as you may have heard.”

“Ah yes, perfect timing.” Cade smiled and walked to the other side of the room, flipping through a case of files until he found a somewhat new-looking one with only 1 or 2 papers slid inside. He flipped it open, turning back to Jacob. “You need to do your first annual medical exam.” He stated.

“Medical exam?” The knight blinked.

“Of course, everyone on the Prydwen takes it, even Elder Maxson.” Cade explained. Jacob looked over at Danse sceptically. He didn’t know if they were on the clock or not, he didn’t want this to take up too much of the Paladin’s time.

“It’s only a few questions, Knight.” The Paladin assured. “As long as you get it done and answer honestly. I won’t judge.” 

“Alright then, taking it now wouldn’t hurt.” Jacob agreed, sitting down in the chair Knight-Captain Cade gestured towards. Cade sat in a chair across from him, now with a clipboard in hand.

“Let’s get started then,” He said. “As a child, were you exposed to a massive amount of radiation?” He asked. Jacob thought for a moment. Pre-war times were weird, anything from cans of paint to bottles of soda could have some form of radiation in them. The question was if it was considered a small or large amount these days. He assumed it would be a small amount, given some people had turned into literal groaning zombies on radiation alone.

“No, no I was not.” Jacob answered, now somewhat sure he was right.

This answer did catch Cade by surprise, making him scan through the pages on his clipboard. He let out a soft “huh” at some information on the paper. “You were a vault dweller, is this true?” Jacob nodded in response. “That’s incredibly fascinating. You’re probably the healthiest on the ship.” He marveled, but continued. “Anyway, have you ever carried a highly infectious disease?”

“I’ve never been seriously sick in my life.” Jacob admitted. Cade nodded and jotted something down onto the papers.

“Next question, if you had to kill a synth replica for the sake of the brotherhood, would you do it?”

“I don’t see what this has to do with my health.” Jacob hesitated.

“Mental wellbeing is just as important as physical health.” Cade explained. “The Brotherhood takes that kind of thing extremely seriously.” 

Jacob nodded, thinking over his answer. He wasn’t sure, truthfully. He hadn’t come across a real ‘synth replica’ everyone had been talking about. Only those two brothers in Diamond City. And they weren’t even synths. He settled on something at least a little neutral. “If my life were in danger, or if a friend’s life was in danger, definitely.”

“Well that’s a completely acceptable answer, and the most common.” Cade said, writing out something on his clipboard again. “Alright, last question. And answer  _ honestly, _ please.” He sighed. “Have you ever had sexual relations with someone that could be considered ‘non human’?”

Jacob blinked. “No? You can do that?” He blurted out. Danse gave Jacob a strange look, but quickly averted his eyes.

“Uhm.” Cade looked up from his clipboard. “Yes? You can. You’d be surprised how many people answer ‘yes’ to that question.”

“Ah well, nevermind. It’s nothing.” Jacob chuckled nervously and got up from the chair. “Me and Danse should move on anyway, I need to meet the rest of the staff.” 

“Oh of course, sorry. Ad Victorium, Knight.” Cade said, still giving Jacob a strange look as they left the room.  _ That conversation was going to haunt Jacob for a long time. _

Paladin Danse stood next to the door just across the hallway from the medical bay, gesturing Jacob to go ahead inside first. He did, looking around the room. It wasn’t accommodated for more than one person, clearly. There were multiple shelves and filing cabinets filled with books, newspapers, fliers, blueprints, and any piece of pre-war documentation you would ever need. There was a desk set to the side with a single terminal and a very comfortable looking cat curled up against the warm computer’s side. On the other side of the room was a man in a relatively unique looking outfit, unlike the different colored uniform copies he had seen on most of the personnel on the Prydwen. He was occupied with something, flipping through old pages of documentation that looked hundreds of years old. He had noticed Jacob out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t recognize it as someone new. He waved behind him in the Knight’s vague direction.

“Yes, yes, just place the books on the desk, scribe. I’m rather busy.” He dismissed, still looking down at the series of papers in his hands. Jacob cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Sir you must have the wrong person.” He said. The man looked up and turned towards the knight.

“Ah yes, sorry, I tend to get engrossed in my work.” He apologized. “You must be the new Knight under Paladin Danse’s command. I had assumed Elder Maxson would have you get to know the staff before letting you leave on assignment.”

“Well you assumed right, I guess.”

“Not a surprise.” The man fixed his glasses, pushing them further up his nose. “I am Proctor Quinlan, head of Archives and R&D.” He explained. “I am in charge of the Scribes, as well as keeping track of every piece of pre-war tech and documentation that comes to the Brotherhood. Which makes me  _ extremely _ busy.” He said, not-so-subtly asking Jacob and Danse to leave him be to his work. Jacob’s face flushed.

“I um… I’m sorry for bothering you sir. If you need anything, just let me know.”

Proctor Quinlan gave him a tired look and sighed softly. “If you insist. If you happen to find any pre-war documents, any blueprints, intact books, paperwork,  _ anything _ , bring it to me. I am required to pay you for your findings.”

“I’ll come to you when I find something, Proctor.”

“Thank you Knight, now please, I have work to get to.” Quinlan dismissed them both, turning back around to his set of papers and documents. Jacob quickly left with Danse following behind him.

Jacob slowed, now walking next to Danse through Ingram’s workshop. “What a warming welcome, huh?” He joked. Danse nodded slightly in acknowledgment.

“Yes, I deeply apologize for Quinlan’s blunt nature.” The Paladin apologized, taking Jacob back through Ingram’s workshop towards the last staff member they had to meet.

“It’s okay, if I couldn’t handle some mean words I wouldn’t have asked to be in the Brotherhood.” The knight reassured with a soft chuckle. Danse nodded again and brought him to their last destination.

There was one closed room with a fenced window and a long counter in the front. Jacob could see the inside filled with a huge arsenal of weapons, weapon modifications, grenades, Brotherhood Armor, and ammunition. There was a man inside, sorting through some of the inventory and grumbling to himself. Danse huffed and tapped on the counter with his armored fingers, getting the man’s attention. He looked up and walked to the counter. He looked tired and laid back, much different to the other staff members on the Prydwen. He sighed when he saw Jacob, leaning forward against the counter.

“Step forward, Knight. Even if they locked me in the blasted cage, I don’t bite.” The man grumbled, reaching a hand up to absentmindedly scratch at his facial hair as he talked.

“Don’t worry, I won’t take up too much of your time, Elder Maxson just wanted me to meet the rest of the crew.” Jacob explained. 

“Rules, rules, rules. Everyone’s so obsessed with their damn rules. I just hope you’re not another ‘ _ by the books’ military type _ .” He complained, casting a brief eye over to Paladin Danse, who looked away from the man in annoyance. “Anyway, I’m Proctor Teagan. I’m the Brotherhood’s Quartermaster. If you need to go on a mission, you come to me and buy all the weapons and ammunition you need.”

“Are you… locked in there?” Jacob asked nervously.

“Well, yeah.” Proctor Teagan shrugged. “But I have it pretty nice. I have a large inflow of caps, so I can buy almost anything you want to sell me. Plus I’m very safe in here.”

“Do you have any deals…?” Jacob asked. Proctor Teagan laughed. 

“Nope, you gotta pay for this stuff yourself. And I can’t make the price go down. Nice try though, kid.” He chuckled, amused. Jacob chuckled awkwardly along with him.

After a short conversation with Proctor Teagan, he and Paladin Danse walked back to Proctor Ingram’s workshop so Jacob could pick up his new set of Power Armor. It was similar to Danse’s, only with a different paint job. The metal was a lighter shade of gray, and instead of the orange stripes, portions of the armor had been painted a dark orange red. There was a symbol on the right arm piece that apparently was the logo for the Knight Rank. As Jacob hauled himself inside and felt the metal frame close down snug around his body, he felt taller and much more powerful. Danse smiled slightly, watching him bend the joints and flex the metal fingers of the humanoid tank. Jacob grumbled, trying to roll his shoulders in the armor.

“... How do you get used to this thing?” He softly complained. Danse chuckled softly at the complaint.

“Time.” Was all he said, genuinely smiling at Jacob.

Then the two walked out to the Flight Deck for their next mission. The Brotherhood already felt like Jacob’s new family, even if Proctor Quinlan was rude, and even if he had embarrassed himself in front of Knight-Captain Cade, he still had Paladin Danse and the rest of the Brotherhood behind his back. He didn’t feel alone or hopeless, he had a cause to fight for. Even if it wasn’t finding his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for letting me take a break for a few days, I kinda needed it. I'll still be a little slow, just easing through the last of my burnout. I hope people actually like reading it, I have plans to make this story a lot gayer and romantic relatively soon, I just hope people keep reading through then. Please leave kudos and a comment if you like the story, I'm actually really proud of how my writing is slowly improving throughout the story. I hope you appreciate it too,
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage!


	10. November 5th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After almost 6 days of avoiding Nick Valentine and the case of his missing son, Paladin Danse pulls Jacob back to Diamond City in an attempt to help both Jacob and the brotherhood by finding his son, and making it into the Institute. However, he didn't plan on having to work with a Synth in the process.

The wind swept up by the vertibird propellers hit Knight Roberts’ power armor helmet, but thanks to the protection it didn’t bother him. He looked down at the jagged landscape of post-war boston, the large airship looming in the sky growing closer and closer with each passing second. It had been about 5 days since he had first boarded the Prydwen, which meant it had been about 5 days travelling with Paladin Danse. They had done quite a few things, they had cleared out Fort Strong and delivered pre-war mini nuclear bombs to Proctor Ingram to be contained for a later date. That had been the only big job they had done, the rest were just a series of small chores over a series of days. This was the first time they were going back to the Prydwen in 3 days of clearing out buildings and collecting technology for Knight Rhys and Scribe Haylen. Jacob had his bag hanging over his armored shoulder, full of things he planned on selling and keeping in his personal storage. It had been a long journey, and he just wanted to relax. Maybe Danse felt the same, no one could really tell.

Danse and Jacob had only a few conversations between themselves, most of them were brotherhood related, or comments on wherever they were at the moment, but in truth they really didn’t know that much about each other. Jacob hadn’t even told the Paladin about his time in the vault. He planned on bringing it up eventually, but it never came up.

Once the vertibird was pulled up onto the Prydwen’s flight deck, Jacob jumped out of the craft and walked back towards the entrance of the airship. He could hear Danse following him, because of the equally heavy clank of Danse landing on the flight deck after the Knight. They were greeted by the few scribes with waves and the occasional ‘welcome back’. Their work was done, and Jacob was exhausted.

-

Later that night, Paladin Danse came back from turning in his battered power armor to be fixed and maintained in the workshop below. He pulled up a chair from one of the shared tables in the center and placed it near Jacob’s bed, sitting down. The knight was sorting through the things in his bag, putting away heavy and useless things, as well as stuffing his duffle bag full of essentials and extra medicine. They were quiet, Jacob’s pip-boy was placed on the desk next to his space, playing Diamond City Radio on a low volume to fill the quiet of the night. Danse sighed and rolled his shoulders back, trying to get comfortable without his power armor. Finally, the Paladin broke the silence.

“May I speak with you, Knight Roberts?” He asked, his voice rather tired in comparison to his usual authoritative tone.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Jacob shrugged, not looking up from his bag.

“I uhm,” Danse began. “I am quite impressed by your abilities out there, on the battlefield and otherwise.” He admitted. “I apologize, I’ll admit I’ve never been good at this kind of thing.”

He chuckled and looked up at the Paladin with a smile. “Thanks Danse, that means a lot coming from you. And yeah, I picked up on that early on.”

“Yes, I don’t think I’ve met many random drifters with your combat expertise,” he admitted. “It’s quite the surprise, truthfully. I have to know how you learned, it doesn’t look like the usual self-taught skills of a civilian.

Jacob went quiet. _ There it was, _ and he thought Danse would never bring up Jacob’s past. “I-” He started, looking around the room. There were a lot of people around, he really didn’t want to speak with so many people around. “If I’m going to tell you it has to be somewhere private.” Paladin Danse nodded and stood up from his chair, gesturing for him to follow. Jacob did as he was told, stuffing his bag in the metal box at the foot of his bed for the time being, and followed Danse down through the Prydwen to a metal door next to the ladder to the Main Control Room.

“This is my personal quarters. I used it a lot more when I wasn’t traveling with you on a regular basis. Perfectly private.” Danse explained, unlocking the door with a metal key he had stuffed in his boot.

He opened the door to a small room with metal walls and metal flooring. It was a closed off room to the rest of the Prydwen. There was a desk in the corner, a filing cabinet, a small workbench, and a bed pressed up against the far wall. The room itself was decorated to the bare minimum, the desk was covered in scattered old pencils and stacks of paperwork surrounding an old terminal. The workbench had an old Brotherhood Knight Helmet from who knows how long ago, along with a Laser Rifle that looked hand-modified, with the words  _ righteous authority  _ painted over the side in white letters. A large orange Brotherhood Flag hung on one wall, and a huge laser gatling gun sat leaning against a locker near the door. Danse pulled out the desk chair and quietly told Jacob to get comfortable. The knight sat down and glanced at the stack of work on the desk. Danse noticed and chuckled softly.

“You’d be surprised how much paperwork a Paladin has to do when a knight does something reckless and irresponsible.” Danse said, shutting the door with a click and sitting on the bed, facing Jacob.

“I’m gonna assume some of this is from that one time I blasted you with a pre-war rocket launcher?” 

“Oh no,” Danse shook his head. “That’s from a different reckless knight. I won’t name names, of course.” 

“Knight Rhys.” Jacob joked. Danse shrugged, not agreeing with or denying his claims. They quieted down after a moment, and the knight cleared his throat. “I should start this by saying you don’t have to believe me, it’s a pretty ridiculous story.” 

“The Brotherhood holds a vast amount of data from the past few centuries of history. If you’re lying, I’ll find out.” Danse said, as if that was reassuring.

“Well, I was born on January 15th, 2043.” He began. Danse’s brow raised in surprise at the statement, but he didn’t interrupt Jacob. “My father was a military man, my mother was a writer. I was born in Seattle, but because of my Father we moved around a lot, I’ve lived in a lot of places. I didn’t really settle down in one spot until I got married.” He cleared his throat. Looking back was painful, but he had spent a while ignoring the truth. This needed to happen sooner or later. “I joined the military when I was young so I could pay for college and uh… make my dad proud. That kind of thing. I stayed there for a while after college because I didn’t have anywhere else to go, I learned a lot, but once I met my wife I knew I had to settle down. So I did, we got married, and moved here to Boston.” Jacob leaned back in the chair and looked at the wall on the other side of the room. He needed to clear his mind. He took a moment of silence before continuing. “I had a kid after a while, in 2077. We named him Shaun, he was only a few months old when the bombs dropped. That same day, we signed up to be held in a vault. Once the bombs dropped, we were guaranteed a safe life underground.” 

“How did you last 200 years?” Danse asked.

“They lied to us, simple as that. They told us to change into suits and get into the ‘decontamination pods’, and then they froze us for 200 years.” He answered. He took a long, deep breath before continuing. “I woke up somewhere during those years, and a man opened my wife’s pod. They took my son. And they murdered her. I woke up very recently. I tried searching for my son, but the institute has him. I didn’t know what to do, hell, I still don’t know what to do. I met with a detective in Diamond City, but we got far enough to learn that the Institute already had him. So now I’m here, because trying to search for my son is just gonna end in failure.”

They were quiet after that, Paladin Danse was either coming up with a response, or not planning on saying anything at all. The Paladin took a deep breath.

“I’ve never been great at sharing close stories or showing sympathy, I apologize for being at a loss.” Danse finally admitted.

“I doubt you’ve ever met someone with that story, I don’t blame you.”

“Well, whatever you need, I’ll try and help.” He confided.

“Thank you Danse, I really see you as a friend.” The paladin blinked and looked over at Jacob with a surprised face. Jacob chuckled. “Never had a friend?” He joked.

“I uhm…” Danse stammered. “It’s complicated.”

“Well you sure as hell don’t have to tell me now. I’ve capped out our sad stories for the night.” Jacob sighed softly.

“You can uhm… you can tell me stories. From before the war.”

“I’d like that.”

Danse ended up listening to Jacob’s stories late into the night, and the knight was the first to fall asleep on the floor. He felt comfortable, and Paladin Danse really was a friend. At this point, the two could only get closer at this point, and Jacob was just happy to have a friend that wasn’t a dog.

-

Jacob woke up to the feeling of being shaken awake. He grumbled scooting back away from whatever the hell was shaking him. 

“Knight Roberts, on your feet.” Danse ordered. Jacob groaned and sat up, opening his bleary eyes.

“Remind me to never fall asleep near you on the Prydwen, fucking hell.” He complained. “You’re not even remotely subtle.” 

“Well we have a busy day ahead of us.” Danse explained, awake and ready to go. It was unbelievable. Jacob had gotten too comfortable with sleeping in back before the war, this was ridiculous.

“Please,  _ enlighten me _ .” The knight spat.

“We’re going to Diamond City, and we’re going to continue looking for your son. Do you understand me?”

“What? There’s no way that’s brotherhood business.” 

“It isn’t.” Danse cracked a small smile. “We’re on personal business.”

Jacob rubbed at his eyes, trying to take himself up. “What time is it?” He asked.

“4 am.” 

Jacob looked up at the Paladin and glared at him. “You’re insane.”

“I’m  _ punctual _ , Knight. Now get your Power Armor and things, I want to leave as soon as possible.”

Danse left before Jacob, leaving the room so Jacob could collect himself. By the time the knight was out on the flight deck, Danse was already waiting in front of a ready-to-takeoff vertibird in full Power Armor. The knight was in his power armor, his bag hung over his shoulder. He had packed the essentials, along with random things he had decided to sell when they got to Diamond City. This included the weird bit of technology that Jacob had pulled out of Kellogg’s head. He didn’t want to look at it anymore, and letting it sit in his storage box wasn’t helpful to anyone. It would at least get him some decent caps.

Danse climbed up onto the Vertibird and helped Jacob climb up after him. The craft unlatched from the airship and took off towards the heart of Boston. The sun was only just coming up, painting the sky a bright orange and pink. The yellow light reflected off what was left of the huge skyscrapers and buildings, lighting up the city to reveal quiet camps of raiders and super mutants. The air wasn’t filled with the sounds of gunshots or screams of pain, just the sound of the wind blowing past the Brotherhood-owned aircraft. They began to descend onto one of the old roads a few minutes from Diamond City, as Jacob didn’t want to draw too much attention to themselves. They weren’t on Brotherhood business, after all. Danse and Jacob jumped down from either side of the vertibird, already walking towards the familiar green walls of Diamond City. They walked next to each other at a similar pace, both relatively quiet until Jacob broke the silence.

“Have you been to Diamond City before?” He asked, looking curiously over to the Paladin as they walked. 

“No,” He admitted. “However I am rather curious how civilians live in the large settlements. I’ve only seen how it is in the much smaller ones.”

“Yeah this isn’t any simple ranch with 3 people in a shack. I think it’s pretty nice, plenty of space.” Jacob explained, pushing open the gate for the Paladin. “I uh… I should probably tell you about the detective. There’s an important detail about him you probably won’t like.”

“Go ahead,”

“He’s a synth.” Jacob said simply, bracing himself for some sort of scolding or any sort of negative reaction.

Danse frowned deeply. “I see,” was all he said, walking up the stairs ahead of Jacob. God knows if he was angry or annoyed, it was impossible to tell with him. Jacob sighed softly and followed him up the stairs. Stairs were a tricky thing to maneuver in Power Armor unless they were made for it. The feet of the machine were so big, that only half of the foot actually stood on the step. Danse had plenty of practice, it was obvious because of how far ahead he was up the stairs, but Power Armor was best suited for ramps and thick stairs like the ones on the Prydwen.

They walked out into Diamond city, and their collective size drew a few eyes. Some of the guards commented on their power armor, which was expected. Their addition of armor, specifically t-60, was difficult to find out and about in the Commonwealth. Danse was quiet, the smallest scowl forming over his face. He really wasn’t pleased about the idea of working with a synth, Jacob silently prayed that it wouldn’t completely derail the search. They passed by the shops, some of which didn’t even have people working behind the counters, because it was so early. The general store was open, along with the noodle stand, as they were both currently being manned by robots. The two walked into the dark alleyway with the familiar red neon sign hanging on the wall above. Jacob tapped on the door, the size of his hand enough to make a noticeable knock. For a moment, no one answered. 

“See, this is what I was worried about. No functioning human wakes up at 5 am.” Jacob admitted.

“Well you  _ did  _ say we were working for a synth.” Danse grumbled.

“Oh whatever.” The knight rolled his eyes. 

The door actually opened after knocking a second time, and they were greeted by Nick Valentine. He still wore the familiar worn fedora and old trench coat, he hadn’t aged a day.

“Ah, Jacob.” He chuckled a little. “And here I thought you died. You just uh…” He looked over the suit of power armor with suspicious eyes. “Signed your life away.”

“This isn't on brotherhood business, Nick. I’m here to continue the case.” Jacob insisted. He then gestured to Paladin Danse. “This is Paladin Danse, the one who convinced me to come back here instead of abandoning the search. He’s going to be polite, and not say anything awful, right Danse?” Danse glared at Jacob, narrowing his eyes in disgust.

“I am severely against working with a synth-”

“But he can put that aside for a while.” Jacob interrupted. Nick gave Danse an uneasy look, clearly sceptical about working with him. But he sighed heavily, walking back into the dark detective agency.

“Come in, try not to knock anything over with those goddamn tanks while you’re at it.” Nick said reluctantly, sitting down at his desk and scooting closer to the two. Jacob went into the corner and stepped out of his power armor so he could feel more comfortable. He sat down in the chair in front of the desk. Danse stood off to the side, trying not to knock anything over. 

“Alright, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” Jacob began.

“It’s okay, I had plenty of time to brainstorm ways to get into the institute.”

“Perfect, can you share those ideas?”

Nick nodded. “Okay so, Kellogg was probably the only man that we know could get inside the institute at will. So we’d have to interrogate him, but that’s where we hit a roadblock.” Jacob sighed softly and looked away.

“Because I blew his brains out.”

“Exactly. I had a few ideas after that, but it was nothing we could pursue. Unless we could bring a dead man to life, we have nothing.” Nick frowned along with Jacob. But then, his eyes lit up. “Unless…?”

“I’m not going to perform a seance, Nick.”

“You don’t need to.” The synth said with a smile, leaning back in his chair. “I know this scientist in Goodneighbor, a city to the east. If we had enough brain matter, we might have a chance at accessing his memories. That might call for a risky trip back to Fort Hagen, if you’re up for it.”

Jacob hesitated. It might be their only option, but who knows how heavily guarded it might be after their attack. The Institute wouldn’t want anyone getting their information, and they’d notice if Kellogg was killed. The place would either be swarming with synths, or completely cleared of any evidence. Then, his mind went to the contents of his bag. He had stuffed that piece of tech he had picked off of Kellogg in there to sell. He had taken it out of his brain, that might be just the thing they would need. He opened his bag and dug around, looking for the strange bit of tech.

“I think I have something… I picked it out of Kellogg’s head.” He explained, pulling out the piece of tech and handing it over to Nick from across the desk. The detective turned it over in his hand, looking over it.

“It’s some pretty familiar tech. It looks like the Institute, and I know what their tech looks like.” He smiled. “This is perfect. I can get this to Goodneighbor. Wanna join me? It’s fine if you wanna go alone and meet up with me later.”

“We’ll meet up with you, me and Danse can make it there on our own, I just need the location.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll head out soon as I can, try and keep up.” Nick chuckled and got up from his chair, opening the door for them to leave.

Jacob thanked the detective, and he and Paladin Danse stayed around Diamond City for a while longer before leaving after Nick towards the town of Goodneighbor. Paladin Danse didn’t know much about the place, and neither did Jacob, all they knew was that getting there was getting one step closer to actually finding Shaun. For the first time in far too long, Jacob felt hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit longer than I would normally like. I tweaked Jacob's backstory a little from what I eventually had in my head, and I tried to actually do some research to back it up. If I was a little off from real life, or even what would be possible in the game, just bare with me. I'm just trying to make it work. Also please leave kudos and a comment if you want more, I'm struggling with motivation these days.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you're interested.


	11. November 6th, 2287 - Pt.I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts head out together towards the town of Goodneighbor, the land of Misfits. They plan on meeting Nick Valentine in a place called the Memory Den, where maybe they'll be able to find more clues to where the Institute is.

The crisp fall air of a November evening hung heavy in the air, the clouds billowing above changing to a light yellow overhead. The streets of Boston were settling down, Raiders were yelling and drinking together in their own camps, Super mutants were smashing things and celebrating over nothing in particular, everything felt as normal as it could in these strange times after the war. Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts were together, resting in the ruins of an old cafe near Goodneighbor. They were both out of their power armor, and Danse had heated two cans of baked beans for them to share. They weren’t planning on staying the night out here, Goodneighbor was already extremely close, so this was just a small break in a secured area before they would continue on the trek up to the strange town. They were both quiet, eating slightly warm baked beans with plastic spoons, nothing to talk about. Paladin Danse decided to break the comfortable silence.

“I’m sorry to say I’m surprised you’ve taken to the Brotherhood customs so quickly. It’s only been two weeks and it feels like I don’t even need to teach you anything.” Danse admitted, absentmindedly stirring the 200 year old bean concoction. 

The knight swallowed his mouthful of food before speaking. “Really?” Jacob looked over at Danse curiously.

“Yes. I suppose it makes sense, you had previous experience in military conditions, it just surprised me. I expected it to take much longer before the seriousness of our rules to set in.”

“What, were you  _ unruly  _ and  _ spunky  _ when you first joined?” Jacob teased, eating another bite of his food. Danse looked away, his cheeks slightly reddening.

“Uhm… I suppose you would say that.”

“No way, I don’t believe you.”

Danse awkwardly shifted. “I apologize if this seems… strange sounding. I’m not very good at this kind of thing.”

Jacob shrugged. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna blame you for opening up too slowly. This is the kind of thing you take at your own pace.”

Danse nodded and sighed softly. “Just… keep this between us, please.”

“Alright. I promise to keep this between us.”

Danse nodded and looked over at Jacob, took a deep breath, and began his story. “I grew up in the Capital Wasteland, I scavenged the old ruins for most of my childhood, selling bits of scrap to vendors and caravans near Megaton.” He explained. “Once I got older and had a few more caps to my name, I moved to Rivet City and opened a junk stand.”

“I don’t think I can imagine Paladin Danse as anything other than a soldier.” Jacob chuckled.

“In truth, neither can I.” The paladin chuckled a little along with him. “During my time there, I met a man named Cutler. He was my age, and we got along. He ended up being my closest friend. We were inseparable, we ended up pooling our scrap and selling it together. But the problem was that we always wanted more, that’s why when the Brotherhood of Steel started their recruitment drive, we were one of the first few to sign up.” He smiled slightly at the fond memories. He and Cutler must have been close. “About a year into our time in the Brotherhood, he went on a field op with a group of 8 and never returned.” He didn’t look so found, shifting awkwardly in place. “I begged my supervisor to let me put together a search party. We were gone for 3 whole weeks, and finally we narrowed his location down to a super mutant hive. They had slaughtered everyone  _ but  _ Cutler.” The Paladin paused before continuing. Jacob could already see where the story was going, he frowned and looked down at the ground. “When I found him, he had become one of them.  _ Hideous. Idiotic. Beyond saving.  _ I had to- It was my  _ duty _ to put him down myself.”

Danse seemed slightly choked up, but Jacob wasn’t going to tell him that. He just let him tell the story, and they were quiet after that. When it seemed like Danse had somewhat collected himself, Jacob spoke up.

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Danse.”

“I appreciate our friendship, but it frightens me all the same.” He admitted. “I hope you understand. Being so close with someone and then losing them, that changes you.”

“I’m not judging you. I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to me. I care about you too much to let that happen.”

“I-” The Paladin looked over at Jacob with slightly wide eyes, taken aback. “Uhm. I uhh…” Jacob snickered. “I didn’t know you felt that strongly about our… well, about us.” He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly again, “I’m sorry if I seem confused… just uhm- you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”

Jacob smiled and looked down at his now empty can of beans. He set it aside and started to get up from his spot on the floor.

“I say we head out now before it gets too dark. I don’t wanna keep Nick waiting too long.”

Paladin Danse agreed, and they both got back in their power armor and left the old ruins of the cafe. The sky was shifting to a gorgeous golden shade above them, and the night was beginning to take over.

-

The trip towards the entrance of Goodneighbor wasn’t the most pleasant, it wasn’t any wonder why most people went right towards Diamond city, because this route was incredibly dangerous in comparison to the heavily guarded path to the Great Green Jewel. The two wove through torn down buildings and Super Mutant camps, old train stations that had become Ghoul hollows, and large raider camps that had been built up of junk and decorated with skulls, skeletons, and severed heads on long metal pikes. Their power armor wasn’t the quietest to move around in, but if they were noticed by whatever they were sneaking past in the night, they had good protection from bullets and bombs. They stayed quiet through the rest of the trip, quietly trudging through the torn up streets of Boston. When they finally arrived, the left sleeve on Jacob’s power armor had been seriously damaged by raiders. Paladin Danse was alright, his armor was slightly stronger by comparison. The damage could easily be fixed when they made it back to the Prydwen. 

They stopped at a junk wall composed of old billboards, brick, and large pieces of wood, all topped off with a curled piece of barbed wire on the top. It would have looked like any raider wall if it weren’t for the large neon sign that read ‘GOODNEIGHBOR’ in large, blue and pink letters. The front of the space was covered in old graffiti, all somewhat illegible or poorly drawn.

“It looks like we’re here.” Jacob said, looking over at a door that had another large neon arrow pointing towards it. “It looks cozy so far.”

“The wall looks incredibly sturdy, I have to admit I am impressed with the civilian’s ingenuity.” Danse admitted, looking up at the wall curiously. “I wonder how long ago it was built.”

“Let’s find out.” Jacob said, opening the front door to the city and stepping inside.

The first view of the town complimented the front gate. The streets had caved in partially decades ago, and had been boarded up with wood to maintain a flat walking surface. There was litter and grim all swept to the corners of the road just like in Diamond City, but sloppier. There were two shops up front,  _ Kill or Be Killed _ , a weapon and ammunition store, and  _ Daisy’s Discounts. _ Unlike in Diamond City, these stores weren’t run by humans. The general store counter was being taken care of by a ghoul in a light brown wig and a grimy old yellow suit. She was speaking with a drifter, presumably about some sort of trade. The weapons store was being manned by an Assaultron with the name ‘KL-E-0’ painted over the front of her chest in white letters.

“Huh,” Jacob mumbled. “Cozy.” He commented, walking further into town. The streets were mostly empty, there were drifters spending the night in sleeping bags on the edges of the streets, all either fast asleep or trying to get there. Then, Jacob knew why he recognized this place. 

In the center of the town was the Old State House. Nora had brought him here when he first moved in with her. She had been born in Boston, and she was showing him around. The back of the building wasn’t as easily recognizable, but it still made him pause. He couldn’t help but feel hope. They had turned this place into a town, and a pretty secure one. A town of misfits. Maybe the Brotherhood would be able to help people like the ones here, with nowhere else to go. Just like him.

Jacob walked up to the general store once the drifter was finished with whatever he wanted. He tapped on the counter, getting the attention of the ghoul behind the desk.

“Welcome to Daisy’s Discounts,” The ghoul gave Jacob a relaxed smile. “I’m Daisy. Try not to scream too loud, we don’t want to wake up the nice people on the streets.” 

“Uh- Screaming?” 

“Well of course, most newcomers have never seen a ghoul before.” She explained, leaning against the counter with a smile. “Can’t handle a friendly face, I say.” She looked over at Danse, who was slightly grimacing. He looked away, choosing not to say anything.

“I’m curious about the things here in Goodneighbor, we’re new.”

“Don’t worry sweetie, I know you’re new. I see every face that comes around here.” She assured. “Well, Goodneighbor’s been going steady for quite a few decades, but now we’re in our prime. It’s both a good sign and a bad sign when we don’t have enough space for all the drifters that come in. I have my general store, I buy anything the Caravan’s can’t sell, so you won’t find much in the weapon and ammo department, that’s where my lovely friend Kleo comes in. She runs the Ammunition store, and she has quite the collection of deadly weapons. Anything you might need.” She picked an old rag out from under the counter and started wiping it down while she spoke. “Past Kleo’s shop is the town square, the Mayor steps out and does little speeches from time to time, boosts morale, but he’s down in the Third Rail right now, the bar underneath the Old State House. Then there’s the Memory Den and the Hotel Rexford. The Memory Den is a sight, you should go there if you wanna see what goes down there first hand. My word won’t do it any justice.” 

“Thank you,” Jacob said.

“I’ll assume you aren’t buying anything? You won’t believe what we have in the ‘is it food or not’ section.” She joked, chuckling to herself.

“No, not right now. I’ll stop by once we’re ready to depart. Right, Danse?” Jacob looked over at the Paladin, who nodded slightly, humming in response.

They left after that, walking further into the town. The rest was covered in a thin sheet of mist, the city lit up with strung up lights and neon signs flashing over buildings and stores. Echoing music and chatter could be heard from the Third Rail, everyone laughing together for the night in the bar below. They passed by a guard or two, one of which noticed them and disappeared into the Third Rail. Jacob decided to bring up some conversation.

“Thank you for staying quiet while I talked to Daisy.” Jacob said.

“I was just being professional.” Danse dismissed, scanning the surrounding city curiously.

“Well, you didn’t have to. You could have just been a dick about it. You were being a good friend, Danse.”

Danse’s cheeks flushed slightly. “I- huh.” He mumbled. Jacob snickered and opened the door of the Memory Den for Danse. 

“You’re hilarious.” He said, letting the Paladin walk ahead into the building.

-

The Memory Den had dark wood paneled flooring with red walls, the large main room was decked out with a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Red velvet drapes hung down along the walls, beautiful paintings from before the war hung up on the walls. The room had 6 strange pods lining the room, a few opened to reveal comfortable red plush padding with two armrests. One or two pods had a person inside, looking directly into a screen with blank eyes and a wistful smile on their face.  _ What kind of drug shit is this. _ A familiar voice was heard across the room. It was Nick Valentine, talking to a woman in a long red coat with a gorgeous feather neckline with earrings.

“Amari’s downstairs, you big flirt.” The woman said with a hearty chuckle. Nick tipped his fedora slightly and walked off towards some stairs hidden by a red curtain. Jacob and Danse followed him.

Downstairs was a room full of electrical equipment, technology, and dozens of buttons and spinning dials. There were two memory loungers on each side of the room, the only woman inside was dressed in a lab coat with her hair cut short. She was facing away from the door, typing something into a terminal. Nick noticed Jacob and waved before clearing his throat to get the woman’s attention.

“Dr. Amari,” Nick said. The woman flinched and spun around.

“Detective Valentine!” She said, surprised to see the detective. “You came unannounced, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Ah well ain’t that always the case with me.” He chuckled and gestured to Jacob and Danse. “I’m doing a case for these two, a missing boy. We’ve got an extremely curious lead I’m afraid only you can follow.” 

“We need you to look into the memories of a dead brain.” Jacob explained.

Amari’s eyes widened. “You’re insane! You’re asking me not only to do the impossible, but to defile a corpse in the process? This is madness, Detective, even for you.”

“Listen, I know it sounds crazy-”

“Because it is.” Amari cut in.

Paladin Danse cleared his throat, stepping forward. “Dr. Amari, you need to listen to Knight Roberts and Detective Valentine.” He said firmly. The doctor narrowed her eyes at the paladin. “With this information, we’ll be one step closer to destroying the Institute, and rescuing Roberts’ son. You’ll be doing not only the Brotherhood a great service, but the entire commonwealth.”

The doctor frowned deeply, but agreed. “Fine, give me the brain, please.” She conceded, holding a hand out to take whatever they had. Nick fished the piece of tech out of his trenchcoat and gave it to her. The doctor examined it. “... this isn’t a brain. Wait- it’s the hippocampus!”

“Is that good?” Jacob asked.

Amari turned it over in her hand and looked over at the Detective. “Well, it’s extremely similar technology to Mr. Valentine. If I hooked it up correctly, all he’d have to do is access it.”

“Alright, I’m all for it.” Nick said. Jacob blinked.

“Nick, you don’t have to. This might be extremely dangerous.” 

Nick chuckled and looked over at Jacob. “I’ve never left a case unsolved. I won’t let your case be the first, Jacob.” Paladin Danse looked surprised by the statement, perhaps he had gained some respect for the detective, somewhere deep down in his synth-hating heart.

“... alright. Go ahead. Try not to lose yourself, Valentine.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Nick said, sitting down in a chair by Amari. The doctor put on some goggles and flipped open a panel on the back of Nick’s neck. She started poking through the wires, the detective stiffened at the sensation.

“How are you feeling, Detective?” She asked, still hooking the piece of tech into his brain.

“I-it’s all just flashes, doc.” He explained with a grimace. “I don’t get any of it.” The doctor frowned and left the panel open for the time being.

“Try and access the memories.” She instructed. Nick nodded, his yellow eyes blinking slightly as he scanned through the new information in his brain.

“It’s got some kind of encryption on it, I can’t access it.”

Amari frowned deeply and examined the piece of tech. “I don’t think Nick can access this by himself. He might have to be the vessel.” She looked over at Jacob. “I need you to get into a memory lounger. I can funnel in Mr. Valentine’s new memories, and you can navigate them.” She explained.

Jacob looked over at Danse, who nodded. “Go ahead. I will stay here.” He said. Jacob nodded and stepped out of his power armor. Dr. Amari led him to an open memory lounger, and Jacob sat down in the comfortable seating.

He leaned back and watched the pod close in on him. He stiffened, remembering his time in the cryo pod, but he took a long deep breath to center himself. He just needed to find Shaun. Dr. Amari said she was almost ready, and after a few moments the screen in his face flickered on, and his vision faded to black. It was almost like his body wasn’t even there anymore. He was a memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I did it, I wrote something! I renamed my Ao3 and Tumblr accounts and I edited the notes in my stories to reflect that, sorry if that might be confusing, I just needed a fresh start for the summer. This story is really turning out to be a novel-length kinda deal. I just hope it works out. I am once again asking for Kudos and Comments, I'd really appreciate it, and it'd help me get chapters out faster. Also I really just wanna hear about what you think of the story.
> 
> My new tumblr name is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you want to message me.


	12. November 6th, 2287 - Pt.II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob navigates a dead man's thoughts in search of his son, and he sees some things he thought he had unseen. Now that he's truly traumatized, the only thing getting him through the investigation is Paladin Danse's support and friendship.

Jacob’s mind wove through darkness, pushing through hazy red and blue clouds towards nothing in particular. His mind began to spin, stars sparkling far off in the distance of the void. He let his eyes slide shut, but he could still see everything around him, even if his eyes were closed. A scene began to drift into view, the people first, the scenery next. A child dressed in pjs was sitting cross-legged reading a comic book next to a woman. They were quiet, and as the room faded into view it was revealed to be a child’s bedroom. The space was dark, the hanging lightbulb above barely flickering in time with the storm outside. Rain could be heard berating down onto the roof above, matched with loud strikes of thunder a long distance away. There was a commotion coming from behind the door, a man yelling and grunting just beyond it. The boy scooted closer to the woman in fear, trying to ignore the loud commotion all around him.

And just like that, the memory was gone. The surrounding hazy fog moved over the scene, taking over the surroundings. Jacob almost felt himself spinning as the clouds around him shifted to a deep light pink, with clouds of orange and yellow mixed in. The next memory faded in around Jacob, revealing a young Kellogg dressed in comfortably worn road leathers next to a woman in a worn red flannel with her hair tied back. There was a baby wrapped in an old blanket, and as the rest of the scene faded into view it was revealed that they were in a kitchen, with a baby cradle placed next to the worn down dining table.

“It’ll be fine here, you’ll see.” The young Kellogg insisted, looking up from the cutting board he was working at the over at the woman working at the sink. His voice was echoey, but understandable.

“But we don’t know anybody here, and with the baby I-”

“Come on, Sarah, you just gotta give it a chance.” He assured, moving towards her. “I finally got steady work with a good outfit. Nothing like that in the NCR these days.” He explained, placing a comforting hand on her back. Sarah chuckled to herself and smiled.

“It’s not that I think it’s a bad idea, Connie, but are you sure these guys know what they’re doing? They seem kinda… green.” She admitted.

“It’ll be okay. You just wait. In a few years, I’ll be running my own crew. I’ll have all the connections to get you anything you want, and little Mary too.” He glanced at the baby in the crib, who was babbling nonsense to herself.

“I don’t know why I’m so worried about you. Must be my mama instincts kicking in, huh? Who knew I had those?” She chuckled. Kellogg rolled his eyes and held her hand.

“Hey, you’re great with her. And most of my work is just playing bodyguard for the shi. Just a lot of standing around looking tough.”

“Well they sure picked a great man for the job.” She said fondly.

Kellogg smiled and pulled out his revolver. “See this? This is gonna keep you and Mary safe. I promise.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“It’ll be great here, Sarah.” Kellogg concluded as he put his revolver away again. His attention was brought to the baby, Mary, as she started to cry. “Don’t worry, I got her.” He said, and the memory was taken over by the fog around them.

Jacob started spinning again, the pink and yellow fog shifting to a deep navy blue mixed with deep reds. The memory faded in, with the same young Kellogg walking towards a plain blue metal door. He was dressed head to toe in highly protective leather armor, a fully loaded rifle in his hands. The rest of the scene faded through, revealing him to be walking through a long, dark hallway.

“What did you think was going to happen Kellogg?” A voice rang out through an intercom system. “Did you think you could just fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you? They died like  _ dogs _ , Kellogg.” The surrounding void flashed a deep, painful dark red on the emphasis. Kellogg said nothing, he just kicked down the door and ran out into the void. Then the memory faded away again, being taken up by dark, hazy fog.

Another memory faded in, it was young Kellogg, dressed in a metal chestplate and holding a glass of booze. He was sitting down at what was revealed to be a table in a bar. Two men walked in and took their seats in front of him without even asking.

“I hear you can take care of people’s problems, eh?” One of them spoke up, scooting the chair closer to the table.

“If you pay me.” Kellogg answered simply.

“We’ll pay you.” The second man cut in, leaning back in his chair.

“Yeah we pay you when the job’s done, alright?” The first man explained.

“If that’s how you want me to do it.” Kellogg answered. “Who do you want dead?”

“Well, there’s this family. Down the creek aways…” 

The man was cut off by the memory being taken over once again by the thick dark hazy smoke, this time a much darker teal color with deep blacks mixed in. The smoke and fog shifted to a deep red color this time, mixed with blacks and blues. It was less threatening, but much darker. Kellogg was standing in front of a table, this time his familiar bald and scarred self. There was a woman on the other side of the table, sitting with perfect posture, surrounded by a group of highly armed synth bodyguards.

“So, you’re with the Institute, huh?” Kellogg said, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Correct, I wanted to speak with you, Conrad Kellogg.”

“Of course, what do you want?” 

“It comes to my attention that you’ve been rather… disruptive… of our operations. This must stop.” She explained, her tone cold and empty. 

“I do what people pay me to do.” Kellogg explained. “If that’s a problem for you, I can see only one way out of it.”

“And what’s that, Mr. Kellogg?” 

“If I’m working for you, then there’s no problem.” He began. “And from what I hear, you have more than enough funds.”

“I don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in right now.”

“I think I do.” Kellogg said with a shrug.

“As you wish. B7-41, Initiate.” She instructed. One of the synths drew their weapon, and Kellogg drew his.

What took place was a quick fight, Kellogg held the synth in a chokehold, and shot down the other two synths while using the first as a shield. He kicked the first synth back, and shot it down easily. Each blow was emphasized by the surrounding fog flashing a bright red, like lighting in a storm.

All three synths were left sparking on the ground, the woman at the table didn’t even flinch.

“Hm.” She hummed. “Impressive. We may have something to talk about after all.” She started to get up from the table as the memory was taken over by a deep, heavy fog. Everything was black this time, thick and heavy around Jacob’s consciousness. The next memory faded in around him, and Kellogg was revealed next to 3 people in familiar hazmat suits.

The surroundings were revealed to be Vault 111. They were surrounded by the exact same pods that Jacob had been trapped in for over 200 years. That was when everything went to shit. The surrounding fog flashed a bright red, the beating of Jacob’s heart grew heavier, and it could be heard all throughout the void.

“Manual Override sequence, initiated. Cryogenic Stasis, suspended.” The robotic voice echoed above. Kellogg moved through the rows of pods, the people in hazmat suits worked with a terminal across the room.

“Vault Computer’s still working. Checking through the logs. Hopefully it’s all…” The man at the terminal mumbled, typing into the keyboard. “Ah, here it is. Pod C6, down the hall and near the end.”

Kellogg was followed by the other two people, they stalked towards pod C6. The heartbeat around them grew louder, faded voices could be heard around him, not recognizable just yet.

The person in the suit stopped at the pod and said “This is the one, here.” 

“Open it.” Kellogg instructed. As the cryopod hissed open, Nora was revealed with Shaun clutched tight in her arms.

_ Get him out of there.  _ Someone instructed from beyond the void.  _ But we’re so close!  _ Another faded in. The memory was growing more and more out of focus as they took Shaun out of Nora’s arms. Everything flashed even brighter when Kellogg pulled the trigger, leaving Nora dead in the Cryopod. They walked away after Kellogg got one look at Jacob’s own cryopod. He could see himself, banging helplessly on the glass, before being frozen in time again.

“At least we still have the backup.” Kellog said simply, and the memory faded away with flashing red and black fog. 

The heavy heartbeats subsided, leaving the fog to change from black to a deep dark blue, the next memory was quiet for a moment, before fading in again. Everything was silent, just the faint buzzing of a low-volume radio and the sound of flipping comic pages. A 10 year old looking boy sat on the floor of what could be recognized as Kellogg’s old house in Diamond City, flipping through a Grognak comic silently, Kellogg was at his desk, cleaning his revolver absentmindedly. Everything was quiet. Shaun was okay here, he was older, but he was okay. Everything felt okay, for once.

Then, there was a bright, disruptive flash in the corner of the room. A black man dressed in a dark leather outfit with a light silver belt and reflective sunglasses had practically teleported into the room. Kellogg flinched.

“Fuckin hell- you can’t just com barging into my home unannounced.” Kellogg scolded the man. He didn’t flinch, he just stepped forward and looked at Shaun with blank, covered eyes. “Oh, time to go, eh?”

Shaun looked up and frowned, but sighed softly. He got up and walked towards the man.

“We have another assignment for you, Kellogg.” The man droned, pulling a clean white file out of his cloak. Kellogg sighed and took the file.

“What is it?”

“A scientist has fled the Institute, we need you to hunt him down in the Glowing Sea.”

“Glowing sea, eh?” Kellogg raised his brow. “Do you want him gone?”

“Yes.” 

“Done.” Kellogg said, setting the file aside.

Shaun held onto the man’s leather sleeve, waving goodbye to Kellogg. “Goodbye Mister.” He said cheerfully. “I’ll see you again soon.”

Then, they teleported away. Kellogg was left alone in the room.

“... bye kid.” 

And then the memory faded away one final time.

-

Jacob’s vision came back gradually as the glass dome on top of the memory lounger slid away from him. His muscles felt weak, his body only just coming back from the strange out-of-body experience that was looking through memories. Jacob blinked, groaning softly under his breath. He could feel the dried paths of tears on his cheeks. His chest feels heavy, his whole body has the sensation of having run an entire mile and slept an entire night. He started to sit up, but before he could fully make it an armored hand touched his shoulders and helped him lean back down in the lounger.

“Knight,” Danse spoke solemnly. He was standing next to the lounger, looking down at Jacob with unreadable eyes. “Stay where you are. Dr. Amari just left to grab something, she’ll be back in a moment.” 

They were both quiet for a long moment, Jacob spent the moments trying to collect himself again.

“Did you uh… did you see the whole thing? All the memories.” Jacob asked softly, his voice tired and hoarse.

“Yes. None of them were pleasant.” Danse answered.

“Heh.” Jacob gave the Paladin an empty smile. “Saw my wife die again. Saw them take away my son.”

“I know.” He affirmed coldly. “I can’t imagine going through that again… I’m sorry I’m not sure how to help.”

“I don’t know either, Danse. It’s okay.”

Danse opened his mouth to answer, but he closed it again when Doctor Amari entered the room with a box of old chocolates and a Nuka Cola.

“I-i’m sorry-” She stammered. “We’ve never subjected anyone to  _ negative  _ memories, you usually aren’t this disoriented after reliving a memory. Or in your case, experiencing someone else's.” She explained, opening the bottle of nuka cola and handing it over to Jacob. He drank happily, he was much more thirsty than he thought he was.

“Thank you,” He said, wiping his mouth off on the sleeve of his uniform.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“I’ve been better.” Jacob answered. “I feel weak, parched, and generally like absolute garbage.” 

“Minor muscle fatigue…” she mumbled to herself. “Alright, you should be alright after a little while. I will call Mr. Valentine down, and we can come up with what to do next.” She decided, walking out of the room again and up the stairs. Jacob scooted up a little in the lounger, letting himself sit up slightly to enjoy the nuka cola.

Snacks weren’t anything like how they were before the war. All of the Nuka Cola now was warm, and only slightly carbonated. The other snack foods were no different, with exception for potato chips. He still enjoyed the chocolates and soda he was given, trying not to think too hard about the snackfoods of before the war. He had his fill of memories today.

Nick Valentine stepped into the room after Dr. Amari. The synth was deep in thought, trying to piece together the next step in the case.

“Alright, what do we know?” Nick asked the group.

“Shaun is with the Institute,” Jacob answered. “And they use Teleportation to get in and out.”

“Exactly.” Nick smiled. “That’s the farthest anyone’s ever gotten to getting to the Institute. We know that now, the problem is, how the hell do we teleport?”

Dr. Amari shook her head. “Before you go looking at me, I may be a scientist, but not that kind of scientist. I work with brains, not machines, and especially not teleportation.”

“I doubt any of the scientists with the Brotherhood would be any help with getting into the Institute without somewhere to start. We need someone who has been inside the Institute and knows exactly how the Institute teleportation works.” Danse added. Jacob wracked his brain, until finally, it clicked.

“The scientist. The runaway scientist. In the glowing sea.” He exclaimed. “Kellogg was supposed to hunt him down, and since he’s dead, maybe he never got to it. If we go there and find the scientist, maybe he’ll tell us how to get in.”

Nick grinned. “Well, doll, it looks like we have the next break in the case.”

“Perfect, one question though. What is the glowing sea?” Jacob asked awkwardly.

“Ah well, I apologize for not informing you earlier.” Danse apologized. “The Glowing Sea is supposedly where the bombs dropped. There is such an insanely high level of radiation, humans are not remotely fit out there for survival. It is swarming with deathclaws, mirelurks, radscorpions, and ghouls.” 

“Oh.” The knight sighed softly. “Can we get out there?”

“With brotherhood supplies? Yes.”

“Then I suppose I’ll let you two head off, unless you want me to join.” Nick chimed in.

“No Nick,” Jacob answered politely. “We’re fine. We’ll find you in your office if we need help though, promise.”

“Outstanding.” Danse smiled to himself. “Then we’ll go our separate ways.”

It took a few minutes for Jacob to get into his power armor with Danse’s help, by the time they were out of the Memory Den, Nick had already walked off to whatever business he needed to get done. It was late into the night, the stars above the town of Goodneighbor were glittering. The hum of a Vertibird off in the distance filled the air as he and Paladin Danse walked towards the Hotel Rexford. The streets were empty, only a few members of the Neighborhood watch were out and about, all paying him and the paladin no mind. Jacob’s muscles still felt weak, but he felt slightly better after the food and a moment of rest, but still, something in his gut ached as they stepped into the dimly-lit hotel. It remained even when Paladin Danse decided to pay for the room, and as they walked up the flights of stairs to the dark room that smelled of booze. It wasn’t pain, or nausea, or hell, even a cramp.

_ It was sadness. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might take a small break from this fic and post a few one shots of my other sole survivors, maybe even my one courier. Just gotta mix it up every once and a while, right? Anyway, I'll finish the next chapter soon, and I'm seriously looking forward to writing more Fallout stuff like this.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage, if you wanna message me or follow me. I don't know, whatever you want.


	13. November 7th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob works through his own thoughts and feelings over one too many drinks. The next day, the two plan to leave Goodneighbor and meet up with the respected Mayor, a Ghoul clad in a red frock coat and a tricorn hat named John Hancock, who doesn't especially like the Brotherhood of Steel.

The clock on Jacob’s pip-boy changed to 2 am as he walked through the empty streets of goodneighbor. He was still dressed in his brotherhood uniform, but he had put a worn coat on over it so as to not draw attention to himself. His brotherhood issued boots hitting the asphalt was really the only noise to be heard other than the occasional creak from the pipes below the city. He walked towards the Third Rail, carefully opening the door and stepping inside. The ghoul bouncer let him inside, warning him to not pull any funny business that would get him kicked out. Jacob nodded simply and silently, walking down the stairs and into the bar itself. 

It used to be a train station, but it had been repurposed. There was a long bar counter with shelves of booze behind it. There was a repurposed Mr. Handy robot manning the counter. A few tables were placed throughout the space, and there were quite a few people sitting there either quietly drinking or drunkenly chattering amongst friends. The night was getting old, most of the people making a commotion were gone, either sleeping off the booze or spending the night with someone of their choice. Jacob sat at the bar, taking out his pouch of caps to pay. He ordered a drink, mulling over his thoughts while he slowly drank through the glass.

He ignored everyone else in the bar, just focusing on his thoughts. Right now, all he could think about was Nora. She used to have this… energy about her. She was so ready for action, so confident, but she could be incredibly kind and patient when it was necessary. He knew she never saw herself as perfect, but Jacob sure as hell did. He missed everything about her. Their late night talks about life, the coffee she made, the way she laughed, the way she’d constantly check on Shaun just to make sure he was happy. She wanted to see Shaun grow up so badly, she talked constantly about how she wanted to take a picture of him when he first went to preschool, she wanted to buy his school’s yearbook every single year. She was so excited to see him grow up, and it all went away in a blink of an eye.

Jacob anxiously sighed, pushing his hair back out of his face. He was already a drink in, the deeper he went the sadder he felt. All he had was Paladin Danse, and he was just his commanding officer, nothing more. Danse never admitted they were friends, and when he did it was in situations where he felt obligated to. Jacob had grown attached, and he was ashamed of it. No matter how handsome he might be, or how damn much he reminded him of Nora, they were still just Paladin and Knight.  _ If Nora and Danse had met, they’d probably be one hell of a duo.  _ He thought, ordering another drink to follow the first. They had the same eyes, hair color, they even stammered when they were taken by surprise. They probably would have started a book club or something boring like that, Nora had loved books. Danse seemed like the type.

After another drink, all he could really think about was the Paladin. His mind went to Nora occasionally, but his spirit brightened when he thought of Danse again. Was it weird to think his sponsor was kinda hot? Probably not. In Jacob’s defense, he was.

-

Jacob crept through the Hotel Rexford up to their room as quiet as his drunk ass could. He thought he was doing pretty well, nothing but the occasional floorboard creak, which already came with the place. As he carefully opened the door to his room, he expected to see Paladin Danse sleeping on the mattress they had moved from the bedframe to the floor, but he wasn’t. He was sitting in one of the armchairs, glaring expectantly at the door, now directly at Jacob.

“Uh-”

“Knight.” Danse addressed.

“Yeah Danse?” He answered, smiling awkwardly at the Paladin as he closed the door behind him.

“I’d love to know where you were.” Danse said, getting up from his seat to step closer to Jacob.

“Doesn’t matter. M’not on duty.” Jacob assured with a grin. Danse sighed heavily.

“Whether you’re on duty or not doesn’t matter, heavy drinking is not remotely healthy.” Danse scolded.

“Screw you.” Jacob grumbled, leaning back against the door with a pout.

Danse rolled his eyes and facepalmed, groaning softly to himself. “You are hopeless.”

“Heh,” Jacob snickered. “Yeah I know. M’pretty hopeless.”

Danse frowned deeply and looked back at Jacob, who was walking closer to Danse.

“I’m hopeless in the brother- in the brotherhood.” Jacob started. “I’m hopeless out here, and now I’ve dragged you into a fuckin’ wile goose chase to find my dead son, because I made a promise to a dead body.” His voice started to break, he was going to cry. Danse’s eyes widened, no longer furrowed in frustration.

“I didn’t mean it like that I-” Danse stammered.

“Hopeless before the bombs, too. ‘Never stayed in one place for too long. Way too scared to tell Nora I loved her. Dad was never proud of my sorry ass, and he never will be. ‘Wanna know why? ‘Cuz he’s dead!”

“I-” Danse tried, but he was stopped in his tracks by Jacob leaning against his chest. He went a little rigid, not remotely sure what to do in this situation. He made up his mind and placed a hand awkwardly on Jacob’s back. “... you need sleep, Jacob.” He said, using his first name for what felt like the first time ever.

“Mhm…” Jacob mumbled, sniffling and closing his eyes. “M’sorry, Danse.” He murmured. Danse sighed softly and nodded.

“I’m sorry too.” He replied, helping Jacob onto the hotel bed. He fell asleep for the night, Danse did the same not much time later. 

-

Sunlight shining through the boarded up windows glared directly into Jacob’s face, causing him to wince and slowly rouse from his strange, sad, slumber. He remembered bits and pieces from the night previous, he hadn’t been that drunk, but he definitely had a good amount to drink. He wasn’t proud of everything that had happened, he was embarrassed in fact. He let out a pained groan and sat up from the old bed and looked around the room. Danse was nowhere to be seen, of course.  _ Fantastic. _ Jacob reached over to his pip-boy and clicked it onto his wrist, waiting for it to boot up for the day. It flicked on much faster than usual, it had been tampered with. It was fine though, Paladin Danse had just left a message for him.

‘Knight Roberts, I have allowed you to sleep further into the day. Do not expect this to be the norm. I am buying supplies in town, I suggest meeting me there. Signed Paladin Danse, Brotherhood of Steel.’ Jacob snickered as he read.  _ He was even more formal in writing, apparently. _

Not wanting to keep the Paladin waiting, he hauled himself into his power armor and stuffed his things in along with him. He stepped out of the hotel, and was greeted with a much busier Goodneighbor. The streets had much more people, ghouls, drifters, neighborhood watch, everyone and anyone. They roamed the streets, looking for company or a good chem. On the balcony of the Old State House stood a ghoul dressed entirely in an old colonial red frock coat, leaning against the white railing of the balcony and looking over the town. That was presumably the Mayor, the one Daisy had told him about. Mayor Hancock. The name didn’t seem like a coincidence, he was wearing John Hancock’s full ensemble, the one that had once sat in a display case. Jacob couldn’t help but admit he was intimidated.

“Alright everybody, gather ‘round.” The ghoul spoke up, watching the citizens of Goodneighbor begin to crowd under the balcony. Jacob could see Daisy, Kleo, even the bouncer at the Third Rail poked his head out from the front door to listen. “Don’t worry, it’ll only be a sec.” He grinned down at the people. “It’s damn amazing to see all of you today, Daisy!” He leaned over the edge of the balcony to address the ghoul. “Did I see you on a date with Marowski the other day?”

Daisy laughed out loud in the crowd. “ _ Hah! _ He wishes!” This statement was met with chuckles, and a hearty laugh from the mayor.

When the laughter died down, Hancock scanned the crowd with a smile. “Listen, I know you’re all doing your own things today, and you’re all busy in your own little worlds, but sometimes I just gotta bring us together and remind all of us who the real enemy is. Anybody got any ideas?”

“The Institute and their synths!” A person spoke up. Hancock grinned and scanned the crowd for the person.

“Who said that? Come up to my office later! You’ve earned yourself some jet!” He cheered. The person laughed in response. “Anyway, what was I saying?” The mayor snickered and straightened his tricorn hat. “Oh yeah! What matters.” He paused. The people below hung on his every word, smiling up at their mayor. The energy was so different to the energy in Diamond City. The people here really respected him. “The enemy of the people ain’t the tin can assholes in the Brotherhood, or the raiders, or even those pricks in Diamond City. The real enemy is the Institute. They’re the ones that want to tear us apart, to replace us. That’s why we have to stick together no matter what. So if your family starts to cut you out, if your friends start to act a little strange, that’s the work of the Institute.” He spoke seriously. “But if we stick together, and if we watch each other's backs, then the Institute can’t do  _ shit _ . So, what Commonwealth town should the Institute not fuck with?” He yelled out to the crowd.

_ “Goodneighbor!”  _ The crowd replied.

“And who’s in charge of Goodneighbor?” Hancock continued.

_ “Hancock!”  _ They replied, beginning to cheer and hollar. Hancock grinned down at the crowd.

“Have a goddamn fantastic day! And remember to take care of each other! We’re all we god.  _ Of the people, for the people!” _ He finished, opening the doors from the balcony into the Old State House. People continued to cheer for a few minutes before finally dispersing back out to the town, their morale significantly higher than it was before. Jacob pushed passed the crowd, trying not to be too disruptive in his suit of power armor. He spotted Paladin Danse leaning against the brick wall of the Old State House. He had been listening. Jacob walked towards him.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.” Jacob apologized. Paladin Danse nodded in response.

“It’s quite alright, Knight. You needed the extra bit of sleep.” Danse assured. 

“Did you get any supplies?”

“Yes. Just ammunition and medical supplies. All of the equipment needed for traveling the Glowing Sea is in the Prydwen, we can stop there and request supplies.” Danse explained.

“Well that definitely sounds like a plan, huh?” Jacob said with a smile. “Let’s head out then.”

“Of course.” Danse smiled back only slightly. It still meant a lot, the Paladin wasn’t one for smiling. The two began to walk towards the exit of the city, but one of the Neighborhood watchmen stepped in front of them.

“Sorry you two, Mayor wants to see ya.” He explained, stopping the two in their tracks. “Old state house up the stairs.” He pointed back at the door to the old state house. Jacob frowned and looked at Danse.

“I’m sure it won’t take long.” Danse assured, turning back and stepping inside the building.

From what Jacob remembered, the building had been much cleaner before the war. The wooden floors were now worn and dilapidated, what used to be pristine white walls now peeling at the edges. The windows were either boarded up or so clouded over they couldn’t be seen out of anymore. Dirt and trash was kicked into the edges of the room, artifacts left in broken display cases to collect dust. Jacob wanted to look around more, but he followed Paladin Danse up the spiral staircase in the center up to what was presumably Hancock’s office. Old paintings from hundreds of years ago still hung up on the walls, the paint had been chipped off on some, and the canvas had been torn away from others. Jacob didn’t consider himself much for history, but he couldn’t help but feel strange when he saw a portrait of a founding father torn and left to rot away.

The two stopped at a pair of white double doors. Danse cleared his throat and tapped on the wood with an armored hand. A woman answered the door, she looked jaded, clad head to toe in metal armor and road leathers. She stepped aside to allow the two men inside. The office was rather simple, one large red couch and two smaller arm chairs were set in the middle surrounding a wooden coffee table completely covered in caps, assorted chems, and old magazines that had been rifled through a lot. A desk across the room had a dusty terminal sitting there, unused and neglected, next to multiple holotapes all piled next to even more chems. The Mayor was an addict, and clearly not shy about that fact. Old American flags were hung on the walls, along with multiple old portraits just like the rest of the building.

Hancock had taken his red frock coat off, leaving it to hang absently on a coat hanger next to the double doors. The ghoul straightened his tricorn hat and turned on his heel to face the two men. He simply smiled.

“Did you boys like my speech? It was one of my better ones.” He said innocently.

“Well-” Jacob blinked, surprised the Mayor wasn’t going to go directly to whatever point he had. “Yes. It was a good speech. Was that all you wanted to ask?”

Hancock laughed. “Nah, nah, but it is related.” He admitted. “You see, I care about my town. I’m not gonna just sell it off to the next tin jackass that comes waltzing in.” His voice grew sour as he stepped through the room towards the two. “Care to tell me why I two canned bootlickers decided to show up? You got any business here?”

Jacob cleared his throat to speak, but Danse spoke for him.

“We are here on  _ personal business.  _ Elder Maxson didn’t tell us to come here, we came on our own accord.” Danse explained. His voice was stern, he sent a pointed glare at the ghoul mayor. Jacob frowned slightly, worried about how Danse’s own bias against ghouls might actually get them kicked out of Goodneighbor. Hancock narrowed his eyes at the Paladin.

“You the one in charge?” Hancock asked.

“Yes. I am Paladin Danse, this is Knight Roberts.” Danse answered.

“Charmed.” Hancock gave him a fake smile. “You better tell your boss to stay the hell away from Goodneighbor. I’m not giving up any supplies we need for the drifters on the streets, and I’d lay down my damn life for my people.”

“I’ll be sure to inform Elder Maxson of your wishes.” Danse said. Hancock nodded and smiled at the two.

“Then it sure looks like we don’t have any more business to take care of. Unless of course you wanna do errands for some good money? I pay well. Right Fahr?” Hancock looked behind the two at the terrifying woman in the corner. She shrugged.

“Yeah you pay alright.” She grumbled.

“See? I pay well.”

“We’ll pass on that, Mr. Mayor.” Jacob chuckled.

“It’s Hancock. I’ve done my job, now we can ditch the formalities.” He smiled and stepped away from the two. As Jacob and Danse began to leave, Hancock spoke up, now twirling a combat knife in his left hand. “But of course, remember who’s in charge.” He spoke lowly, watching the two leave the room with an intimidating gaze. The two left the Old State House and set out back towards Diamond City, where they would call down a vertibird and fly back to the airship that was currently hovering over the Boston Airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Or at least for a little while. I left this chapter sitting for a long time. I really just needed a long break, and tonight I just wrote out the rest of the chapter. I have no grantees I'll continue with this forward progress, but it's definitely a start. The next few chapters is a part that I've been very excitedly calling "the roadtrip episode" because it's funny. You can get the gist from there.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybris-nerdrage if you wanna ask me anything or be told when I update. I also say when I'm taking a break on there so you can be prepared for radio silence.


	14. November 9th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse, Scribe Haylen, Knight Rhys, and Knight Roberts were all instructed to head out towards the glowing sea in search of a spot to put a new Brotherhood research outpost. On the first stop of the trip, they all stay in an old house along the coast of a large lake. Discussions are had, things are revealed, and the two are one stop closer to the Glowing sea and reaching Jacob's son.

The blinding sun lowered below the curved horizon, casting camps of raiders and dens of mole rats into darkness for the night. Just beyond Cambridge walked 3 brotherhood soldiers, a brotherhood scribe, and a dog, all walking Southwest towards the Glowing Sea. Dry grass crunched under their power armor boots, heavy clanks ringing out over the lake to their left. Dead mirelurks laid on the shore, taken out by previous wanderers either protecting themselves or looking for a desperate bite to eat. The group stepped closer to a large abandoned lake-house on the rocky bank, the roof was torn to pieces, but the rest of the house looked secure enough to spend the night in. Paladin Danse stopped in front of the house and looked over the surroundings with narrowed eyes.

“The surroundings look secure. Knight Rhys, clear out any hostiles that might be residing inside.” Danse instructed. Rhys nodded and stepped into the house. 

When Jacob and the Paladin had arrived back on the Prydwen, Elder Maxson had accepted their request to move out towards the glowing sea. In fact, he needed to send a scribe there anyway to set up an outpost on the edge so they could conduct further research. The two were packed with heavy amounts of anti-radiation medication and supplies. Proctor Ingram had even updated the protections on his suit of Power armor. They were both ready, even if the Glowing Sea itself was a long ways away. Rhys stepped out of the house with a warm laser rifle.

“Threat’s taken care of.” He affirmed, gesturing to his gun. “Just a couple of Radroaches, nothing we can’t take care of if they come back.”

“Outstanding.” Danse said, lifting Scribe Haylen’s bag for her to take inside.

“I’m just glad we don’t have to sleep in a damp cave like our last expedition.” Haylen said with a soft laugh. Rhys chuckled along with her, Danse briefly smiled.

“You guys had to sleep in a cave?” Jacob said with disbelief, stepping inside the house with the others.

Haylen shrugged. “On expeditions you have to sleep in strange places, I remember we once camped out in an old satellite dish.”

“Yes, that was an extremely uncomfortable night.” Danse added, leaning back against one of the walls.

“I’m sure you persevered, tough guy.” Jacob snickered, Danse rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Leave your power armor upstairs and take the fusion core out. If it’s stolen they won’t be able to do anything.” Danse instructed, brushing past Jacob’s teasing. Jacob shrugged and did as he was told, walking up the old rickety stairs to the second floor of the house.

He left his power armor suit in the corner of the room and let the fusion cell slide out of it’s compartment with a hiss. He turned on his heels and stretched, trying to get the sore spots of his back to relax. He began to step downstairs, but stopped. The group was talking, and it was about him. He swore under his breath and stopped to listen in.

“Danse, you never told me why you and Jacob even need to go into that place…” Haylen said below. Danse let out a soft sigh.

“It’s personal business, you should ask Jacob if you want to know. It’s his decision if he even wants to tell you.” 

There was dead silence. Rhys spoke up in disbelief.

“Did you just use his first name?”

Danse didn’t respond, but from the sound of the heavy clanking coming up the stairs, he was very quickly leaving the room. Jacob stepped back towards his power armor, away from the stairs. When Danse made it up stairs, his face was a bright shade of red. He didn’t make eye contact with Jacob as he stepped towards a corner and stepped out of his power armor. He said nothing. Jacob looked over at the Paladin with curious eyes.

“So uh…” He mumbled. “First name, huh?” Danse looked over and sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands.

“That was deeply unprofessional of me, I apologize, and I promise to make it up to you-”

“Hey, I’m not mad.” Jacob chuckled and walked closer to him. “If anything, I’m flattered. I’ll be honest and say I didn’t know you even  _ knew  _ my first name.”

Danse took his face out of his hands and looked over at Jacob with an awkward smile. “That isn’t comforting, Knight. But uhm… thank you, I suppose.”

“I’m gonna get you to grin someday, it’s my mission in life.” He nudged Danse’s arm. “Now come on, we should start making food, right?” 

“I suppose.” Danse nodded slightly and looked away.

“I’ll leave you up here if you want. Just make sure to come down for something to eat. I know you don’t skip meals.” Jacob decided as he walked back towards the stairs. Danse looked over and opened his mouth as if he was about to say something. But before he could say a word, he decided against it, looking away from the knight as he disappeared down the stairs.

Night quickly fell over them, the sun setting and casting the commonwealth in darkness. Scribe Haylen sat at the rickety dining table on the first floor with a large map spread out on the wooden surface, a pencil in hand, as she made notes on possible locations for the new outpost. Knight Rhys sat leaning against the wall near the front door, keeping watch for any hostiles and, even if he wouldn’t admit it, keeping Scribe Haylen company. Paladin Danse leaned back against the wall on the second floor, looking up at the hole in the ceiling and out at the glittering stars above. Jacob stepped up into the second floor and looked over at the Paladin on the other side of the room. An hour previous they had set up sleeping bags up here for him and Danse. Dogmeat laid sprawled out on Jacob’s bag, softly and peacefully snoring until Jacob would inevitably have to scoot the dog away. For the time being, Jacob sat down and leaned against the wall near Danse.

“So,” He spoke softly, he didn’t want to disturb Haylen below. “Do you wanna tell me your first name?” Danse looked over to Jacob and pursed his lips.

“I don’t have one.” He admitted, although after some hesitation. “I was a scavenger in the Capital Wasteland, a first name wasn’t a major priority. ‘Danse’ is officially my first and last name. It says it on my holotags, my official transcripts, everything.” The Paladin took out the holotags that had been tucked under the tight-fitted orange uniform and showed them to Jacob. Sure enough, it read  _ ‘Danse; Rank P.’  _ with no full name in sight.

“That’s strange,” Jacob mumbled. “But in a good way, of course.” He clarified with a chuckle when Danse awkwardly fidgeted with his tags in response. “I’m not used to someone not having a full name, back before the war everyone had full names, sometimes 4 parts or more.”

“From what I’ve seen in the documents Haylen shows me, they tended to get ridiculous.”

“Mhm, you said it.” Jacob chuckled softly. “At least Danse is a nice name, right? I like it.”

Danse’s cheeks flushed and the Paladin looked away. “Thank you, Knight. I uh… appreciate the sentiment.”

“Maybe I can come up with one with you, something I can call you.” Danse shook his head no in response. “Awh come on. Justin? Saul? River? Richard?” He continued throwing out suggestions, Danse only smiled.

“I’d prefer keeping my name short and brief. I do not need to make it longer. And it wouldn’t be remotely official.” He objected.

“It’d be official with me.” Jacob smiled up at Danse. The Paladin shook his head and smiled a little bigger than he usually did. They stayed quiet for a little while, just looking up at the sky through the whole in the ceiling. 

“... What was it like before the war?” Danse finally spoke up, still looking up at the sky. Jacob thought over an answer briefly.

“Well,” Jacob looked back at Danse. “I don’t think it was much different then it is now. People weren’t allowed to openly carry guns, and people lived in actual homes and not huge airships. But… it was still cut throat. You either won or you didn’t, you were either a failure or a success. Out here, just like back then, you need to take it one day at a time.”

“That was very… insightful.” Danse said. “Thank you.”

“If you keep talking to me like I’m an old man I’ll scratch the paint on your power armor.” Jacob joked. Danse looked over at him with narrowed eyes. “Just a joke, sir. Don’t worry. I know you care about it.”

“I’m glad that’s a joke. I’ll hold you to that.” Danse smiled awkwardly.

“Uh.. Danse?” Jacob began. Danse looked back at him and nodded his head, allowing the question. “How long were you a knight?” 

Danse chuckled slightly at the question. “4 years.”

“That’s a long time. Did you have a sponsor?”

“I know, and yes.” Danse leaned his head back up against the wall and shut his eyes. “We didn’t have the same relationship as ours, he was ruthless. His name was Paladin Krieg. Me and… Cutler… were under his command. He trained us with no mercy, I was convinced for years that he was fighting against us becoming paladins. We fought back, at every chance we got, Cutler supported me, but when he…” Danse didn’t use the word. “When he left, Krieg only got harder on me. It made me angry, if anything else. I had worked hard to be in the spot I was, and he was treating me like scum. I could handle it though, I needed to prove I could handle it. When I became a Paladin, he shook my hand and said he was proud of me.” He sighed softly. “Then when he died, it was like a punch to the stomach. I… I only then realized he was preparing me for life out here, the dangers, the people. I didn’t appreciate him. I didn’t even thank him when he shook my hand.”

Jacob frowned and scooted slightly closer to Danse. “I’m sorry. I know how you feel though, losing someone you never appreciated. I lost everyone I knew back before the war. I know how it feels. It’s like you want to go back and thank them for things you didn’t even know they were doing, but those daydreams are pointless. All you can do is apologize to their spirit.”

“... I’ve never told someone that.” Danse admitted. “But I trust you not to tell the others.”

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise, Danse.”

Danse smiled softly and let his eyes slide shut as he leaned against the wall. Jacob leaned back as well, already feeling tired.

Jacob appreciated Danse, truly. Now that he thought about it, it had only been over 2 weeks since he left the vault, and the realization made him feel strange. It felt like it had been so long, but he had barely gotten used to life out here. He was borderline obsessing over his relationship with Paladin Danse, and he hadn’t even once thought of his now dead wife. The thought made his stomach churn. He pulled his knees closer to himself, so preoccupied by his thoughts. Did he really love his wife, or was it just platonic admiration? Even then, he should be feeling more guilty about it. Why did he already feel so beyond the past, like none of it even mattered? Was he a heartless monster? Maybe he was, maybe he really was just husk, all empathy missing. Paladin Danse moved off the wall and got comfortable in his own sleeping bag, leaving Jacob alone to think against the wall. Paladin Danse was distracting him, that was it. He didn’t feel as hopeless around him, but whenever he wasn’t around it was all he could think about. 

Jacob hauled himself up and nudged Dogmeat off of his sleeping bag. Paladin Danse was his saving grace, as long as he was with him, everything felt okay. Then, the thought of Cutler crossed his mind. Danse’s close friend, taken so suddenly and violently it had changed him forever. As the knight pulled the worn material over himself, he couldn’t help but find himself doing something he hadn’t done in years.

He prayed, not directly, but somewhere deep in his heart, that Danse would always be there to distract him.

-

The morning came rather quickly, Jacob laid there with his eyes wide open, staring out at the sky above. He couldn’t sleep in, and based on the fact Paladin Danse was still across the room softly snoring meant that he was up far too early. Despite this, he stood up and clicked his Pip-Boy onto his wrist. Last night had been cold, even with Dogmeat curled up against him. He seriously wished brotherhood uniforms were more insulated, especially when it was getting closer to winter as the days passed. Jacob quietly stepped down the stairs, and was welcomed by the sight of Scribe Haylen still sitting at the table with a map of the commonwealth spread out over the wooden surface. She looked over at Jacob and smiled.

“Morning,” She said softly. “Little early for you, huh? Did you not sleep well either?”

“Yeah, too cold.” Jacob answered, quietly pulling out a chair to sit across from her.

“I was too occupied to sleep, it’s what I get for working right before bed.” She sighed softly, jotting down a note into an old notebook next to the map.

Jacob looked around the room for anyone else that was a sleep, Knight Rhys was nowhere in sight. “Where’s Rhys?”

“He couldn’t sleep either, so he went to scout ahead for raider camps and occupied territory.”

“Ah I see,” Jacob hummed in response. Haylen looked up from her work and back at him curiously.

“So…” She began. “You and Danse are getting close, huh?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” Jacob cast her a strange look. “We’re friends, sure, but our relationship is pretty professional.”

“He called you by your first name.” Haylen pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean any-”

“He doesn’t call anyone by their first names. He never asks, he only uses your rank or your last name.” Haylen interrupted. She looked over at Jacob with a skeptical look in her eyes. “Jacob, I’m not an idiot. Paladin Danse has a soft spot for you, and it’s more than just platonic, or I’m blind.”

Jacob’s eyes widened. He didn’t know how to respond to that. “I-” Words evaded him.

“You know I’m right.” She said simply, going back to continue whatever work she was doing. “You don’t need to go out with him, lord knows he’d implode if you touched his hand wrong. What I am saying is that you need to be careful where you tread.”

“I- I don’t know what you mean-”

“Paladin Danse is extremely important to me. I consider him family. If you hurt him in any way, I will personally wring your neck. Do you understand?” She warned, sending Jacob a glare.

“Yes- Yes I completely understand. I feel the same way about him.”

“Then you won’t hurt him.” Haylen nodded. “Good. We’re done with that conversation then, what do you want to eat?” She went back to her usual cheerful self, which caught Jacob off guard.

“Uh- whatever we have, I guess. I wouldn’t mind another ration pack.”

“Wonderful.” She smiled warmly and got up from her seat at the table.

Haylen could read Danse like a book, which intimidated Jacob. Danse was impossible to read normally, and the fact that Haylen was so protective over him meant he’d have to keep himself and Danse safe. But of course, there was no way Danse’s feelings were anything but platonic. They were just soldier and commanding officer, nothing more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo finally I finished this one. This was a doozy to right because I didn't have much of a plan going in. The next few chapters, at least I hope, should be more organized. I'll be good at this someday, I promise.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to see me post chapter announcements and talk about things.


	15. November 10th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group all head towards Haylen's marked locations for new Brotherhood Outposts after a nice long rest. Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts plan on heading out towards the glowing sea the morning after they set up the Outpost, but Jacob is skeptical if they will even find relevant information. What if the scientist they're looking for is dead, or what if they turn them both away when they find them? He feels more hopeless then he'd like to admit, but he needs to keep moving forward.

The highway above them creaked with age, blocking the sun from the withering trees and bushes below. Paladin Danse walked ahead of everyone, his laser rifle held at the ready in his armored hands. It was cold, but still ready for a fight. The bag of anti-radiation supplies was slung over his shoulder, he had offered to carry it the rest of the way so the others could save their strength for setting up the outpost. Jacob held his power armor helmet under his arm and walked behind Danse at a slightly slower pace. His rifle was at his hip, the metal lightly clinking against the power armor leg as they trudged through the shady wood. They were far from any road, as according to Knight Rhys, following the old highway was the safest way directly to the edge of the glowing sea. 

Haylen rustled the map in her hands and hummed lightly to herself. It was a song that had been playing on the radio a few minutes previous, before Rhys said to turn the racket off. Haylen looked over at Danse and smiled, quickening her pace to catch up with him.

“Danse! We’re almost at the first possible outpost location.” She said, pointing at a penciled out spot on the map of Boston. Danse nodded and examined the map briefly.

“Then we should stop there and access the area. If it isn’t up to your satisfaction, we continue.” He decided. Rhys grumbled in complaint behind everyone.

“We’ll be at it for ages!” Rhys objected.

“I’m sorry we can’t just teleport everywhere.” Jacob mocked. Rhys scoffed in response and rolled his eyes.

“Both of you stop it. I know traveling for a long time isn’t the most enjoyable experience, but we can’t just fly a Vertibird into an unknown area unless there’s a distress signal. We only have so many Vertibirds, we can’t waste them on missions that could be done walking when soldiers need to be carried from situations they can’t handle.” Danse scolded over his shoulder. Jacob sighed softly and let out a soft ‘yes sir’ in response. Rhys just grumbled to himself and looked away.

Haylen looked back at Jacob nervously and carefully folded the large map, fidgeting with the creases of paper. 

“It won’t be that bad,” She said. “Once we find an outpost we can get you both ready to head out into the glowing sea. Then you can head out and uh… do whatever it is you two were planning on doing.”

“It’s a long story,” Jacob admitted. And he was right, too. It was a long story, even though most of it had only lasted a few weeks in his head. “We’re trying to find a way into the Institute. We have a lead, but if it leads nowhere we’ve got nothing else.” He briefly explained.

“Have you told Elder Maxson?” Haylen asked, slowing to reach Jacob’s pace.

“No. Not the whole story. Getting his hopes up about a lead we aren’t even sure will go anywhere doesn’t seem like a good idea. Once we have a serious plan down on paper, we’ll go to him.” Jacob answered. Danse nodded slightly in agreement.

“Our lead should take us somewhere. I have hopes we’ll find at least a little bit of information in the Glowing Sea.” Danse said simply.

Their conversation dissolved mostly into quiet banter between Knight Rhys and Scribe Haylen in the back of the group, Jacob and Danse both walking silently ahead. Danse had laser focus, keeping a sharp eye on their surroundings as they walked closer towards their first of three possible outpost locations. 

Their first location finally sat ahead of them after a long walk through old dying brush and woods. Beyond the downed trees and along a crumbling road sat the Roadside Pines Motel. The roof was made of an angled red concrete, the sides of the building still strong and sturdy after the hundreds of years left to sit. Grass grew through the pavement in the parking lot, old cars left rusted and broken down in the front. There were 3 large canvas sheets that hung from the front of the roof and down to the ground to shade the front entrance. The closer they got, the quicker they realized the place was occupied. Large pikes sat on the sides of the walls with either old bloodied skeletons left to hang or severed heads stabbed through the sharp edges. Blood was splattered over the concrete walls, and multiple dead bodies were laid out front to rot in open daylight. Danse crouched down and motioned for the others to stop in their tracks. He clicked the safety off on his laser rifle.

Jacob squinted to try and get a closer look at the place. It looked like it was occupied with raiders, all of them mingling either inside or behind in the pool. There weren’t that many, it was a group they could easily take on with their higher power weapons and power armor. 

“Move out.” Danse instructed. Jacob clicked his power armor helmet on and turned on his weapon, heading out towards the parking lot of the motel after Danse.

The raiders immediately became alert of their presence, some shouting and waving around their garbage pipe pistols in panic. They ran out of the building, there were maybe 8 of them total. Danse was the first to shoot, catching one of them in the face with a bright red laser. The raider flew back and yelled out in panic. One of the raiders laughed until Rhys fired out a series of split lasers at them. The raiders were weak, Jacob moved out and started bashing and blasting in close range as to stay effective. Haylen stepped back behind them all and started shooting down a few raiders with her laser pistol. 

A raider came up behind Jacob and let a sturdy pipe come crashing down on the back of his helmet. The harsh sound made him falter and stop, shuttering uncomfortably as the sound rattled his head. Danse shot the raider back with a selectively placed laser shot and then walked past Jacob to finish him off. Jacob came back to his senses and turned on his heels. Danse had stopped the life out of the guy practically, his rifle’s tip still steaming. Jacob gave him a thumbs up and moved inside the building. 

The interior was just as filthy as the outside. The floors were splattered with blood and littered with opened packages of chems. Empty bottles of alcohol were piled up in the corners and left to sit. There was a checkers game permanently paused on a small coffee table in the corner. The rooms were all empty, and the commotion outside had been dealt with, so the threat had been taken care of. Haylen walked inside the motel and looked around with a disgusted look on her face. 

“This is… cozy.” She mumbled.

“For a raider this must be a pretty nice place. You think it’ll be hard to clean up?”

“Well, it isn’t just that.” She sighed. “There’s not really much… space. Not enough for multiple scribes to come in and out of as they please. Not much space for beds, so I don’t think it’ll be that great of an outpost.” She admitted. Jacob shrugged.

“It’s good. We’ll just have to loot the place for all it’s worth, eh?”

“I guess. I’ll check the roof.” Haylen decided, walking out of the back door that led to the old pool area.

Jacob walked through the old bedrooms, all of which smelled like blood and alcohol. Raiders smelled awful no matter what gang they belonged to. Paladin Danse walked inside while Jacob was picking the lock of a safe in the corner. When it clicked open easily Danse’s eyes widened.

“I see you’re sufficient with a bobby pin.” He commented.

“It’s a hobby.” Jacob shrugged and started piling the bits of ammo and random pre war trinkets into his bag. 

Danse prepared to say something, but was cut off by a panicked gasp coming from the roof. The two stepped out of the back door and saw Rhys hauling himself up onto the roof from an old dumpster to see what was wrong. Scribe Haylen sat on the roof looking horrified at something obscured by the red concrete.

“What’s wrong?” Jacob called up. Rhys stooped down and placed a reassuring hand on Haylen’s back with a frown.

“Dead Brotherhood Knight.” He answered solemnly. Danse sighed softly and looked down at the pavement under them. “Looks about… a week old.” Rhys continued, helping Haylen up and back down off of the roof. He went back and carefully slid some glowing holotags out from under the body’s uniform. He tossed them down to Danse, and the Paladin read them aloud.

“Knight Gomez.” He recited. Jacob leaned over and read over Danse’s shoulder. The two tags read  _ ‘Brianna Gomez; Rank K’.  _ Jacob sighed softly. Haylen frowned deeply and looked down at the pavement. Danse cleared his throat. “Once we get the outpost set up we can bring these tags to her Paladin. They’ll honor her like a knight of the Brotherhood deserves.” He decided. Jacob and the others all nodded slightly in agreement. 

Leaving the Motel was easy, they all wanted to get out as quick as possible. Their next location according to Haylen was much farther away, so they’d get there later into the evening if they didn’t stop moving. That meant either skipping meals or eating while they walked. Danse was hesitant to skip meals, Jacob could tell, but he conceded and they ended up snacking on old tins of potato chips that Knight Rhys had found while scavenging that morning. The harsh cold wind blew over them as they walked further into the day, the sun now covered by thick white clouds. Just a mile ahead of them sat the billowing green radiation storm above the glowing sea. Haylen told him that the storm has been going on for hundreds of years, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to the flashing green and yellow clouds ahead of them. The surroundings were still recovering from the bomb, trees downed and all pointing in the same direction on the ground. The sky began to darken as they got closer to the spot Haylen had picked out, and at this point she was walking ahead of the group with the map in her hands. Finally, she stopped and looked around them with a smile.

They had stopped in a grassy clearing. It looked like an old military camp, there was a makeshift Vertibird pad set to the side that had sat there for over 200 years. There were still some spots laid about for cover, but almost everything was torn down. 

“Here we are!” She announced, looking around. “This was apparently called ‘Waypoint Echo’ when the bombs were about to drop. But because it was so close to the bombs it didn’t survive long, so it’s just been sitting here for centuries.” She explained, holding her hands out to try and picture where she would place things. Danse nodded and knocked on the Vertibird pad.

“This seems sturdy.” He commented.

“Oh good! I was worried it would come crashing down if a vertibird landed on it.” She rushed over to Danse and tried to push down on it with all of her weight. It didn’t budge, which she seemed thrilled over.

“Doesn’t look like anything took up residency,” Knight Rhys added, setting one of their bags down on the ground. “I think we found the place.”

Scribe Haylen nodded excitedly. “We can set up and then leave the radio signal here. Then we can wait for the Vertibird to land and the other scribes to finish the work.” 

The location was now found, and Haylen told the others where to unpack. She sat in the center, fiddling with a Brotherhood radio signal to get it up and functioning. They had brought a tent specifically for the outpost, and it was easy to set up with 2 Knights and a Paladin working together to get it built. Knight Rhys tried to pull Haylen into the work, but Danse scolded him, saying she had important business to do with contacting the rest of the Brotherhood. When the sun finally began to lower over the horizon, Paladin Danse was sitting inside the small recon tent, fiddling with a detached piece of his power armor. Haylen and Rhys were both outside and waiting for the Brotherhood Vertibird to arrive. Jacob stepped inside, his Power armor left next to the entrance of the tent. He looked at Danse and smiled.

“So we’re leaving tomorrow, huh?”

“Tomorrow morning preferably. You can’t tell the difference between night and day in the glowing sea, but I’d prefer to have gotten a good amount of sleep so we can head in and out as quickly as possible.” He answered, still not looking up from his project. 

“You think we’ll even find what we’re looking for? Do you think we’ll actually be able to get inside the Institute?”

“I hope so, this is the farthest anyone has ever gotten to getting there.” Danse said. “And getting into the Institute is in the brotherhood’s best interest, yours by extension.” 

Jacob sighed and sat down on the floor, holding up his head on his propped up arms. “I just hope my son is still alive.”

The chopping blades of a Vertibird could be heard from above, so Haylen had gotten in contact with the Brotherhood. Danse stood up and set the piece of power armor aside and walked out of the tent to greet the newcomers, leaving Jacob alone in the old tent.

His hopes had been low ever since they had set out towards the glowing sea, in truth. He wanted to find Shaun so badly, but he knew for a fact that the kid was already dead. The Institute had won, and with their luck, the scientist in the glowing sea was either dead or would end up turning them away. How would they ever find a way inside?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting a lot more sudden attention on this fic for no particular reason. I really like it. That's why I've been able to get this shorter chapter out so quickly! I thank everyone for the support, and if you're still reading I would love some more comments and kudos, if it isn't too much to ask. The next two chapters need a lot of planning, and I could use the motivation.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna see my posts. I doodle sometimes during and after I write chapters, and I end up posting a few of them on there.


	16. November 11th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts head out to the Glowing Sea in search of Virgil, a runaway Institute scientist that might be their next clue in making it into the unknown organization. On the way they meet a crater full of insane cultists, and a "great beast" with an appetite for armored soldiers.

The secure material of the hazmat suit pressed up against the interior of Jacob’s power armor as he and Danse trudged through the dirt towards the billowing clouds of radiation ahead. His geiger counter was beginning to tick lightly as they stepped closer to the area, which didn’t help him feel any more comfortable. Danse was quiet, keeping a close eye at the area ahead of them. That morning they had heavily planned through their route and how they’d ration supplies. They decided that they would use only a bit of the anti-radiation medication on the way to wherever the scientist was, then use an equal amount on the way back. The rest were for emergencies only. Finally, they reached the edge. Danse turned to Jacob and nodded slightly.

“Are your supplies in your power armor?” he asked. Jacob nodded in reply. “Good. We’re on Rad-x right now, and we’ll be coasting on the rad-away until we get to the Crater. Understood?”

“I know, I know, we already discussed it, Danse.” Danse shot him a glare, and he cleared his throat and changed his tone. “Understood, sir.” Jacob gave him a brotherhood salute and the two walked out into the dark green landscape that was the Glowing Sea.

The surroundings were almost just what you’d expect. It was hard to see very far away, the ground covered in a thick layer of green and yellow fog. As Jacob and Danse walked through the sea, it felt as if they were walking through a thick barrier. The air was warm, even for winter, and it felt as if it hit their power armor as they trudged through the rotten soil and radioactive sludge pits. The wind howled as they passed by ruined buildings, all in even worse condition then the pre war buildings out in the commonwealth. Danse and Jacob both narrowly wove past camps of Mirelurks and Radscorpions, they didn’t want to get into too many fights and waste fusion cells. 

After hours of walking and strategically moving around dens of creatures they started walking down a steep hill towards a giant crater that glowed a bright green. Jacob’s geiger counter was going off the rails, and he shuddered as he felt the cold rad-away being pumped suddenly into his veins by his suit of Power Armor. As they got closer to the center of the crater, Jacob noticed that there were… people… all wading through the highly radioactive water, with no protective gear in sight. Jacob was at a loss, according to his geiger counter, there was no way he’d survive a few hours out here, and these people had built homes over the crater. Danse looked just as confused, looking out at the people kneeling down in the water with their hands raised high towards the sky. It looked like a cult.

“We’re here.” Danse said.

“Yeah I assumed.” Jacob mumbled, looking out at the cult sight.

“Let’s ask a leader if she knows of any scientists that have shown up recently.” Danse decided, walking ahead of Jacob towards a large metal hut that hung over a steep part of the crater. They walked along a thin walkway that led to the hut and hung over the crater on old pipes. A woman sat in an old chair made from cobbled together pieces of scrap metal. 

The woman looked distant, her skin tinted a sickening green and her eyes surrounded by deep, in-set shadows. She stared blankly out of the large balcony towards the center of the crater, mumbling words of prayer under her breath. Jacob cleared his throat, causing her to flinch and turn her head towards the two.

“Ah, visitors. Atom foresaw your visit.” She said with a distant smile.

“Atom?” Jacob looked at her, confused. This lady was clearly batshit insane.

“Atom, the creator of our lands. He bathes us in his light and protects us from his sickness.” She gushed, her bloodshot eyes moving to the metal walls of the hut.

Danse cleared his throat. “Civilian, we need to know if you know of any scientist that came through here in the past few months.”

The woman frowned slightly and thought. She then nodded slightly and smiled. “Virgil passes through here on a lot of occasions. He does not believe in the word of Atom, but we are happy to trade with him, even if he may be unpleasant. I believe he is a scientist. Atom tells me he is hiding from something.” She explained, her words full of knowing wisdom. 

“Where is he?” Jacob asked.

She stood up from her chair and pointed a weak arm out towards the south west. “He lives in a cave in that direction. A great beast lurks outside of his cave, I’m afraid. Tread with care, I will pray for Atom to cast his protecting light upon you.” She said with a smile.

Jacob sighed and looked over at Danse. “I guess we have directions now. We might get out of here pretty quickly, huh?” 

Danse nodded. “We should head out immediately. Staying in one place means we soak up more radiation then is safe.” He explained, already walking out of the hut to climb up out of the crater. Jacob sighed and thanked the woman, who smiled and wished him Atom’s blessing. He turned on his heels and left the hut, climbing up after Danse’ intimidating shadow above. 

The wind howled around them, the higher they got up in the crater the harder it became to hear his own movements. Danse stood out on the edge of the crater, looking out ahead of them for any sign of a cave. Jacob climbed up and stood next to him. The world ahead of him was much different to the world just a few hours behind them. Everything was buried in ash and rotten soil, some large, dead trees stuck out from the thick layers of soil and ruin. A giant highway sat completely crumbled away ahead of them, most of the road completely buried. Giant mountains stood ahead of them, cutting through the great green clouds and smog. The sky thundered with green lightning and flashing lights. It was strangely beautiful, in truth. Jacob couldn’t help but be impressed by the horrific reactions of nature.

Danse pointed out at a small valley ahead of them.

“I think that’s where the scientist might be staying. It’s directly Southwest of here, and it’s hidden away.” He explained. “Mark it on your map, Knight.” He instructed. Jacob did as he was told, opening the Pip-Boy interface on his power armor and marking out the rough location on the map. 

“Do you want me to lead the way?” He asked.

“With the map, yes.” Danse said. “I won’t stay far behind, I assure you.”

“Yes sir.” Jacob affirmed and started walking ahead of him. The thick soil was growing deeper, the undisturbed patches beginning to sink down under his heavy boots. Despite the uncomfortable feeling of slightly sinking down with every step, he continued on. The cold feeling of rad-away hitting his veins kept him relaxed, he knew he wouldn’t be poisoned if he kept an eye on the corner of his power armor interface. 

Danse’s power armor clanked and banged behind him, and not far behind either. He wasn’t drifting off, and Jacob trusted him to stay close behind. Jacob decided to make a bit of conversation, as they hadn’t talked their entire trip through the glowing sea.

“These hazmat suits are crazy uncomfortable.” He pointed out. “I guess it makes sense, but do we have to wear them under the power armor and everything?”

“It’s advisable. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow as a disgusting ghoul, god forbid.” Danse explained, his voice still firm and authoritative. 

“What do you think that woman meant by ‘Great beast’?”

“From what I can guess, the creature is a Deathclaw. They’re the most ferocious animals out here.” Danse explained. “It isn’t anything we can’t handle. Just stay next to me, and stay back from it.” 

“Yes sir.” Jacob nodded and continued walking, climbing up over rocks and old broken off pieces of what used to be a highway into the low valley. 

There was no deathclaw in the obvious nest in front of the cave. Thank god. So Danse and Jacob carefully stepped through the clearing and into the dark cave on the far end of the valley. They both stepped further into the cave, Jacob’s geiger counter began to quiet the further they went in. There was barely any light in the first cavern, just soil and buried old signs of previous life. There was another small entrance to a second cavern, two chains of tin cans were hung just above it, to alert any residents of visitors. Jacob carefully stepped through them, but when Danse followed him one of the cans jostled, making a much louder sound than expected.

“What? Who’s there?” Came a deep, panicked voice from the cavern ahead. Loud, heavy footsteps came towards them, and through the entrance ducked a giant Super Mutant, about 7 feet tall in all. 

The mutant’s eyes were wider and more human, their glasses cobbled together with sticks and pieces of old tape so that they’d still correctly sit on their enlarged head. They wore a torn jumpsuit that used to be white and red, now stained with green and brown dirt and grime. The sleeve of the jumpsuit had been torn off, along with half of the jumpsuit’s left leg. Jacob’s eyes widened in surprise. That was how the scientist survived. He became a super mutant.

“I- Uh- Are you Virgil?” Jacob asked, stepping forward hesitantly.

“Kellogg sent you, didn’t he?” Virgil swore under his breath and stepped back.

“No, Kellogg didn’t send me. I’m not with the Institute.” Jacob assured, stepping towards Virgil carefully. “I just need to ask a few questions.”

“Kellogg didn’t send you- I-” Virgil cleared his throat, trying to seem more menacing, even if he was visibly terrified.

“I would know, I killed him myself.” Jacob admitted. “Just… let’s talk.” 

Virgil nodded and ducked under the entrance to the main cavern. Jacob and Danse followed after him. The main cavern itself showed signs of someone living here for a long time. There were shelves of food, tools, and scraps, as well as a work bench of electronics, even a large car engine that Virgil had been taking apart and putting back together. There was a second level, where there was a small fire pit with a pot placed on top, and a large, makeshift bed set up in the corner. It was made of old tires and tarps, made to fit a super mutant of his size. Virgil fixed his glasses and tried to grab something off of one of the shelves, accidentally knocking over a can of oil. He swore and picked it back up.

“Sorry- my motor skills aren’t what they used to be.” He apologized, setting the oil can back on the shelf.

“It’s fine.” Jacob shrugged. He turned to Danse, who’s expression was thankfully hidden by his power armor helmet. He took a short breath and looked back at Virgil, who was nervously looking at the two.

“So what do you want to know?” Virgil asked.

“We need to get inside the Institute.” Jacob said.

“Excuse me? You want to get  _ inside _ the Institute?” Virgil gave him a strange look. “It was hard enough escaping, how do you think you’re going to get inside? Why do you even want to attempt it?”

“It’s complicated, I know it sounds crazy-”

“Because it is absolutely insane.” Virgil confirmed. Jacob sighed heavily, why did finding his son have to entail so many scientists telling him he was insane?

“Listen, my son was taken by them.” Jacob admitted. “I need to get him back, I promised to his mother that I’d get him back, this is the last thing I can do. I tracked down and killed Kellogg, I think I can handle the Institute.”

Virgil thought for a moment and then sighed. “Fine. I… suppose you make a good point. I’m sorry they took your son, I had no idea.”

“It's fine, just… get me inside.” Jacob pleaded.

“Alright…” Virgil sighed heavily and started sorting clumsily through his shelves. “What knowledge do you have of how the Institute gets in and out of their headquarters?”

“Well… I know they use teleportation.” Jacob explained. Virgil looked over his shoulder in curiosity.

“That’s definitely a surprise. That’s extremely classified information,” He paused. “But of course I won’t ask how you got it.” The mutant scientist finally took out a large sheet of paper from the shelf and started writing something out with a pencil that was far too small for his hand. He handed the paper to Jacob in silence. The knight took the paper and looked over it curiously.

On the paper was instructions.

“You need to find a Courser.” Virgil said. “If you go to the old CIT ruins, tune into that radio signal. It should bring you directly to a courser’s location.” He reached over and tapped on the radio signal code he had written out in sloppy handwriting. “Kill it, then take out it’s courser chip and come back to me.”

“Sounds simple enough…” Jacob mumbled, reading over the instructions.

“It isn’t simple. Coursers are fine-tuned warriors with no flaws, they fight better than any person alive. It won’t be an easy fight, and you will lose if you aren’t careful.”

“Oh.. that sounds less simple.”

“I’ll leave you with this.” Virgil said. “If you can take down Kellogg, you can take down a courser.” He set the pencil back down on the shelf. “When you have the chip, I need you to get it decoded. Anyone that has worked with a computer for an extensive amount of years and  _ knows what they’re doing _ can decode it. Then, bring it back to me, I should have plans for a relay device ready for you by then.”

“Will it work…?” 

“That’s the thing.” Virgil admitted. “I don’t know. We’re going to find out.”

“... That doesn’t leave me with much confidence,” Jacob sighed. “But thank you.” He started putting away the instructions, but Virgil tugged the paper back lightly.

“I refuse to do this without something in return.” He said simply.

“Oh- Oh of course!” Jacob nodded. “What do you need.”

“When you get inside the Institute, go to the Bioscience division. Go to my old office and find an FEV Serum I was working on.” He explained. “It will make me… human again. I’m a monster, look at me. I can’t go out like this. Bring it to me, and I’ll consider it payment for my work.” Virgil looked desperate, trying not to cling to the paper too hard in fear of ripping it. Jacob didn’t know what to say, in truth he hadn’t met any Super Mutant this reasonable in the entire time he’s been out here. And going off of Danse’s complete silence, neither had he.

“Alright.” Jacob decided. “I’ll get you your serum in return for getting me into the Institute.” Danse looked away in response, not saying anything, his expression hidden behind his helmet. Virgil’s eyes faintly lit up in hope.

“Thank you, now please, get out of my cave.” Virgil stated.

Jacob and Danse did as they were told, the knight in front of the paladin as they walked through the small caverns, ducking under small entrances and around strings of tin cans. The wind howled around them when they emerged, their surroundings growing noticeably warmer. Jacob’s geiger counter began to click rapidly as they walked back out into the Glowing Sea in relative silence. Jacob briefly looked at their map, they were heading the right way.

Paladin Danse sighed softly behind him.

“Are you really going to help that…  _ thing?” _ Danse grumbled, clearly annoyed.

“I- Yes? Why wouldn’t I? Don’t you  _ want  _ him to be a human?” Jacob answered back over his shoulder.

“That isn’t a part of this. You are knowingly helping the Brotherhood’s enemy.” The Paladin insisted, stopping in his tracks.

“Wow look who’s suddenly a real stickler for the rules.”

“I don’t see why you need to joke about that. I’ve memorized the Brotherhood’s list of rules, and so should you.”

“I’m helping a man down on his luck, so we can get into the Institute. What’s one Super Mutant going to do compared to an entire underground experimenting cult?” Jacob argued back, stopping ahead of Danse.

“Well maybe if you took our ideals seriously you’d already be promoted!” 

“Says the guy who was a Knight for what, 4 straight years? You’re one to talk.”

“You are ridiculous. Hopeless!” Danse spat. Jacob groaned and turned on his heels, walking in the direction of the Brotherhood outpost and completely ignoring Danse.

Danse called a few things back to him, but calmed down after no reply came back. They just continued to walk through the extremely irradiated hills, silently seething over something so small and inferior. They passed by the cultist’s crater, still in complete silence. It got to the point that they had completely forgotten why they even argued in the first place. However, no apologies were given. Nothing was said, Jacob just stared at the map in defeated silence.

Jacob looked up suddenly when he heard a loud crash ahead of them. Just 20 feet in front of them a Deathclaw had emerged from a hidden cavern in the soil, and it let out a mighty, blood curdling roar. Deathclaws were terrifying, their whole body covered in thick, armored scales, hundreds of jagged teeth and long, sharp claws. It looked at Jacob with two deep red eyes and lunged towards them before Jacob could even aim. It pounced, and he was on the ground. Danse yelled in panic and started shooting at the beast, bright red lasers hitting it’s side and legs. It roared directly into Jacob’s covered face, it’s left claw came crashing down against him.

Jacob felt his helmet being ripped from its hinges. It was thrown far away across the soil, leaving his face completely exposed. The hot blast of radiation hit him, and Jacob could barely breathe. It felt like he was breathing lungfuls of dirt and debris. He struggled and gasped for air, but the huge beast was 10 times stronger than him, easily. It started to lash at his armor, knocking pieces off and eventually hitting skin through the frame. The deathclaw was incredibly strong, cutting through the reinforced frame like butter. When it slashed through his skin, he saw stars. He didn’t know where he had been cut but he already felt blood seeping into the thick fabric of his now useless hazmat suit. Danse swore loudly and shot the deathclaw in the face, making it stumble back from Jacob’s limp body. 

The beast easily recovered, pouncing back down on Jacob and roaring directly into his face. Jacob couldn’t breath, the force of the roar was that powerful. It pressed it’s claw down on his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

_ This was how he was going to die. _ He thought.  _ He didn’t even get to find his son. _

His worries were ended when a great, blinding heat hit his face. His vision went completely white, then red, then to pitch black as he lost consciousness, the great roars of the deathclaw a whole world away. A passing memory. Maybe he’d wake up and he’d be back home, back with Nora, back with Shaun, but that fantasy never came.

At least he wasn’t in pain anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahah cliffhanger. I actually have a good plan for this one (other than previous fics) so it won't be diappointing. Anyway yeah, promise I don't hate you guys. I just wanted to make it interesting. I'll update in a few days you won't have to wait super long.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to yell at me about the cliffhanger in this chapter <3


	17. November 25th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob finally wakes up from a coma apparently induced from being shot in the face by a mysterious ricochet laser. Normally, he'd spend multiple days in recovery, but Elder Maxson is growing impatient on the hunt for the Institute. He's going to be sent with Danse to go on a small recon mission in Boston. The only problem is that the Paladin is avoiding him at all cost for no particular reason.

The pitch black began to fade into his dimly lit surroundings. He couldn’t see much, but he could hear everything. He had been rolled on his back, and he was resting against the cool metal surface of something, probably power armor. The faint buzzing of an emergency radio could be heard next to him. His vision began to fade again before he felt a sharp pinch in his chest. Everything cleared for a bit. Danse was above him, an empty stimpak in hand. He looked scared. Really, really scared. It was an unwelcome change, something that didn’t sit right in Jacob’s gut. 

Paladin Danse sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling above their heads.

“The emergency crew should be here soon. I know they got my distress signal.” Danse said, mostly to himself. He glanced back at Jacob in fear. “If you would just stay alive for a little longer, I can’t keep you alive with Stimpaks and Med-X forever.”

Jacob’s vision began to fade again, his surroundings being taken up by white noise. Danse pushed another stimpak into him, but he was already drifting back into unconsciousness. 

“Please, keep yourself alive Jacob.” Was the last thing he heard before everything went black again.

-

Jacob opened his eyes again, his vision much clearer than it was the last time he woke up. The lights above him were bright, but as his hearing started to fade back he recognized the familiar hustle and bustle of the Prydwen. He squinted, turning his head away from the bright lights on the ceiling and looking out at whatever room he was in. He grumbled, recognizing the room as the Prydwen’s medical bay. Knight Captain Cade was sitting behind his desk, lazily typing at a keyboard, ignoring Jacob. The knight sighed softly and began to sit up from the cot in the corner of the room, but as he did so a sharp pain went through his side. 

“Argh-- shit!” He spat, startling Cade, who turned around and looked over at Jacob in shock.

“Knight Roberts! You’re awake!” He exclaimed, getting up out of his chair to check up on Jacob. “You’ve been asleep for a while-”

“I-” Jacob tried to wrack his brain to remember what the hell had happened after his and Danse’s argument in the glowing sea. He didn’t remember getting back to the airship, hell, he didn’t even remember leaving the glowing sea in the first place. Cade shined a bright light directly into Jacob’s eyes, he flinched and looked away.

“You were extremely injured when Paladin Danse called in a rescue Vertibird. He said it was from a deathclaw attack you weren’t prepared for.” Cade began to explain, Jacob didn’t even have to ask.

“How long…?” Jacob croaked, his voice sore and dry.

“You were asleep for just over 2 weeks. Quite a long amount of time.” He answered, pulling a chair up and pulling out a file from his desk. He flipped through the pages. “Ah yes, I need to ask you a few questions, Knight Roberts.”

“Alright, whatever you want.” Jacob nodded awkwardly and tried to lean back against the wall.

Cade nodded and read off of the sheet in the file briefly. “Can you tell me the date you last remember?”

“November 11th, 2287.” Jacob answered. “Danse and I were going out to the Glowing Sea on personal business.”

Cade nodded again and wrote something out for a moment, then continued. “Where are you right now, Jacob?”

“I’m on the Prydwen, in the medical bay specifically.” Jacob answered.

“What is the last thing you remember?” Cade added. 

“I got in an argument with the Paladin over something small, then we continued towards the Brotherhood outpost on the edge of the glowing sea.” Jacob answered truthfully.

“Minor Retrograde amnesia.” Cade mumbled, writing something out on a separate sheet of paper. “... should come back after time.” He added. 

“Is that bad?” 

“No. Your memory should return to you after a few more days.” Cade answered. “You were fluctuating between an 8 and an 11 on the Glasgow Coma Scale for the past few days, we expected you to survive.” He explained. “You were answering yes/no questions, your eyes opened often, later into the coma you reacted to sounds and pain.”

“I… don’t remember any of that.” Jacob frowned slightly and looked at his currently shaky hands.

“You’re not expected to.” Cade said simply. “Stay right where you are, I will inform the Elder and your sponsor that you are awake and functioning. Then I can answer any questions you might have.”

Jacob was lost, but he did as he was told and stayed where he had woken up. He sighed heavily and looked around the now empty medical bay. He was so confused, his side hurt like hell, and he was just now noticing a strange sensation of discomfort coming from the side of his face. He tapped his foot anxiously. Nothing made sense right now, he was so unbelievably confused.

Knight Captain Cade walked back into the medical bay. “Alright, Paladin Danse and Elder Maxson know you’re awake.” He said. “Do you have any questions?”

“What were my injuries…?” Jacob asked.

“Well,” Cade sighed heavily. “You had gotten shot in the face with a laser, either a ricochet or a third party in the battle. I assumed that was what induced the coma. You have burns on the left side of your face, and scarring on your side and parts of your chest.” He answered.  _ That explained the sensation on his face and the pain in his side. _

“What do I… do…?” Jacob asked, looking over at Cade nervously. The captain sighed softly and sat back down in his chair in front of Jacob.

“I would want you to stay on the Prydwen for the next few days,” Cade answered, clearly choosing his words carefully. “I need to make sure your basic motor skills are still functioning and that you can move from place to place. But…” He hesitated. “I don’t know if the Elder or your Paladin will want you back in action immediately. The war on the Institute is getting desperate, and the Elder wants all hands on deck.”

“Desperate?”

“Yes. We still don’t know where the Institute is, and when I say desperate, I mean that Elder Maxson is getting impatient. He’s sending recon teams out to every settlement, covering all the bases possible.” Cade frowned slightly. “I will push for you to stay on the Prydwen for a few days,” Cade added. “But I can’t promise that you’ll stay long.”

_ “Fantastic.” _ Jacob grit his teeth.

The next day went by in a blur. He spent the majority of it in the Medical bay, talking to Knight Captain Cade and doing tests to make sure his brain was still in functioning order. In that entire time, Paladin Danse hadn’t visited him once. Elder Maxson had even seen him to give him a briefing on a short recon mission he would participate in after a few days, but he heard nothing from his friend. The reality of that hurt. He knew for a fact that the paladin was still on the ship, Cade had even informed him that Jacob was awake, and yet still, nothing. The knight anxiously leaned against a table on the other side of the medical bay, rhythmically tapping his fingers to dull out the silence in the room. He looked over at the door, half expecting to see Danse come walking in, red faced, apologizing profusely. Of course, that never happened. 

The Paladin was fucking ghosting him.

-

The next morning was a strange one, he was finally allowed outside of the Medical bay, and allowed to go upstairs to his bed. On top of the mattress sat a high quality Brotherhood branded bag, with what looked like whatever contents had been salvaged from his things. As he dug through it, he still had a good chunk of his ammo, food, and armor, since he had left all of his major personal items behind. Thank god for that, he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he lost Nora’s wedding ring, even if looking at it tore a pit in his stomach.

He had been given a new uniform, this one was a worn gray and olive green color instead of the familiar orange and faded turquoise. He didn’t care at this point, the uniforms were uncomfortable no matter what color they happened to be. He picked up the uniform and walked towards the bathrooms to change, and actually look at himself in the mirror for the first time in what felt like two weeks.

He changed, shifting uncomfortably in the uniform. He looked over at the mirror and lightly touched the now circular burn on the side of his face. It was a dull red, going down the side of his neck a little and just barely missing one of his eyes.  _ Just an inch higher and he’d be blind in one eye. _ He scratched at the stubble that had grown on his chin (aside the burned areas) and let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t feel like shaving, honestly, he didn’t feel like doing much of anything. 

He sighed again, releasing the tension in his chest. He needed to see Danse. Danse was his anchor, even if he didn’t want to admit it, and the idea that he had done something wrong enough to get him to completely ignore him made Jacob feel sick. 

Next thing he knew, he was already walking down the metal stairs towards Danse’s private quarters. He passed by knights and scribes, not giving them the light of day. He needed to see the Paladin.

He hesitated when he stopped at the door. Maybe Danse was busy, maybe he had important things to do. Maybe this had nothing to do with Jacob, and he was just overreacting.  _ Fuck that _ , he wanted to see his friend. Jacob lightly knocked on the metal door, waiting for anyone to answer. He knocked again to no response.

“... Danse I know you’re in there.” Jacob grumbled. The metal door creaked open slightly, the Paladin looked out, furrowing his brow when he noticed that Jacob was on the other side. The door opened all the way, and Danse was revealed out of his power armor, looking seriously at Jacob.

“Knight, glad to see you’re awake.” He said simply.

“Yeah uh, glad to see you too.” Jacob mumbled.

“Yes.” Danse frowned slightly and looked away from Jacob.

Jacob took a deep breath. “Maxson says we have to do recon in a few days.” He said. “I’m gonna see you on the flight deck in two days, right?”

“Of course, Knight. I’m extremely punctual, I expect the same of you.”

They both went silent for a moment, awkwardly standing with the doorway between them. Jacob cleared his throat, awkwardly shifting and looking away from Danse.

“Are you doing alright…?” Jacob said softly.

Danse hesitated, looking away from the knight briefly before looking back with a stern look on his face. “It’s… not important, Knight.” He decided. “I’ll see you in a few days.” The Paladin gently shut the door in Jacob’s face, leaving him to look at the metal surface in defeat.

He really had done something wrong, he had done something to hurt Danse and now he was back to being treated as just a Knight. Jacob swore under his breath and turned away from the door, walking defeatedly back up the stairs to his bed. The defeat quickly became… anger. If Danse was going to play it like this, if he was really going to be this childish and ignore him, then so would Jacob. Danse really left him no choice, he sat down angrily on his bed, silently seething.

-

Proctor Ingram pat the shoulder piece of the new set of power armor with pride.

“This bad boy is brand new, at least in nowadays terms.” She said. “We found her recently, and I just got her patched up. Perfect replacement after that deathclaw cut through yours like butter.”

“Thanks, Ingram.” Jacob said, taking a look around at the new set of armor, the paint freshly coated on and new.

“Ah all in a day’s work. You better keep this one intact though, it’ll be a fine hand-me-down once you get promoted to Paladin.”

“Ah man that won’t be for a while.” Jacob chuckled nervously.

“Don’t kid yourself, Jacob, you and I both know that after a stunt like that Elder Maxson’s gonna be real soft on you. You’ll get promoted in no time.” She nudged his shoulder with the fist of her alter frame, a smug smile on her face.

“I wouldn’t call being sent into a two week coma and being shot in the face a stunt.” Jacob grimaced.

“You should really stop putting things in such a negative light, it’ll make you sound more like Danse.” Ingram snickered. Jacob frowned slightly at the mention of the Paladin. Ingram noticed almost immediately. “Please, you two are close as all hell. Don’t tell me you suddenly parted ways?”

“It’s complicated.” Jacob admitted. “I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t think he does either, given how he’s been ignoring me.”

“You aren’t gonna ask him why?” The Proctor raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on the hips of her frame.

“It’s not that easy…” Jacob sighed heavily. “He’s really good at avoiding conversations.” He vented, the Proctor nodded along, carefully listening. “I’m going on a recon with him in a few days, though. Maybe I can catch him in a corner.” He thought.

“That’s what I’d do.” She shrugged. “Just be careful, Danse has seemed pretty touchy in the last few weeks, having a pissed off superior won’t be fun.” Ingram warned.

“Thanks for the warning, but I’m pretty good with him. We were close before this whole… mess.”

“Well, I wish you luck, Knight.” Ingram gave him a hopeful smile.

Jacob’s hopes weren’t high. In all honesty, he knew Danse was probably ignoring him for a completely valid reason. He was helping a super mutant, after all. Even if it wasn’t logical, sometimes people weren’t logical when it came to triggering subjects. He wished he could help Danse at least understand that Virgil was different, that it was just one small stumble they had to deal with to take down the Institute. Elder Maxson didn’t need to know, hell, Danse didn’t even need to participate. Jacob could do all the work, if the Paladin asked. He’d be happy to.

But of course, they’d just end up ignoring each other for no reason. That’d be how it ended up.

-

Later that night, Jacob sat on his bed, silently reading an old magazine. He was ignoring the world, ignoring Danse, ignoring the stress that his son was probably dead by now. He almost didn’t notice Paladin Danse walking towards his bed with something clenched in his fist. Jacob flinched when the Paladin stopped in front of him, setting his book aside. The Paladin said nothing, just walked to the counter next to his bed and set down whatever he had been holding on the cool surface. Jacob looked over. It was a chip, untouched, clearly. Danse hesitated and slightly looked away from Jacob.

“Is that the courser chip..?” Jacob asked softly. Danse nodded solemnly in response.

The Paladin said nothing, he briefly looked at Jacob, then averted his gaze and walked away back towards the stairs. Jacob grabbed the chip and held it in his hand, looking at the Paladin in disbelief. Danse had gotten it for him while he was asleep, he still cared, he hadn’t just started ignoring him for no reason. This was something deeper.

Jacob was going to get to the bottom of it, goddamnit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to make this story engaging, I seriously hope it's working. I've been hearing a lot of positive feedback on my fic, and it seriously makes me feel so damn awesome. I put so much love and care into this thing, you have no idea. Anyway, comment and leave kudos if you want, it's highly enchoraged!
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to see my weird posts. I doodle a lot of stuff while I write, and I often post that stuff too.


	18. November 27th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts are both sent on a recon mission along Boston harbor. Nothing is found that Elder Maxson would be interested in, but Jacob learns a lot about Danse, and in the process, their friendship may just be rekindled again.

A heavy sheet of fog washed over the commonwealth, covering the streets in a thin veil that ran along the empty harbor of Boston. Paladin Danse walked far ahead of Jacob, who was staggering behind. He had been advised not to bring his power armor, he wouldn’t need it where he was going, and was given a thick bomber jacket to wear over his uniform in order to stay warm. As he and Danse were just doing recon along the edge of the large pre-war city. The Paladin was still ignoring him, even days after Jacob had been given the courser chip. Jacob was still curious, obsessively so. Something was wrong with the Paladin, and he wasn’t telling Jacob any time soon. Memories of his time in the glowing sea were coming back, and after their argument he remembered relative silence until the dreaded attack. He couldn’t think of anything that could have sparked this.

Jacob hoisted his new bag more securely on his shoulder, moving to a jogging pace to catch up with Danse. When he slowed down, his head spun. He still wasn’t in the greatest shape, he really should have stayed on the Prydwen for a few more days. But Elder Maxson’s words were final, that was just the truth. Jacob caught his breath, Danse looked back over his shoulder briefly, stopping momentarily for Jacob to catch his breath.

“Y’know- I’m normally faster,” Jacob huffed. “I don’t have my power armor, and I woke up like 3 days ago.”

“You don’t have to give me reasons, Knight. Just try and keep up.” Danse deadpanned. Jacob scoffed and finally made it to Danse’s side. The Paladin sent him a disapproving look.

Conversations used to be so much easier with Danse, it was like he was outright avoiding making any personal connection. Just like when they first met. Jacob hated being back at square one, he thought he had everything under control before this whole mess, now his one anchor wouldn’t give him the light of day, and his dog was all the way back at Cambridge Police Station, a whole day and a half trip out. Jacob looked away from Danse awkwardly.

Beside them was an old dock that had been partially sunk into the water, a Mirelurk sat huddled up on the tilted wood, only just dipping into the water. Danse took his gun out- a different laser weapon than his usual rifle. Jacob frowned slightly as he noticed the difference. The rifle had a much heftier stock and a different sight, the front of the rifle had a different, slightly less powerful barrel. Why would Danse replace his old one, this one was clearly less powerful. Righteous Authority was a damn good rifle, why would he replace it? Did it break?

Danse shot at the shell of the Mirelurk, causing it to jump up. He took it down with 2 direct shots to the face. It was knocked into the water with a splash, already gone.

“Wow- That was impressive…” Jacob noted. Danse nodded and put away the rifle.

“Thank you, Knight.” He answered. “I’ve been… working on my aim.” He glanced away from Jacob and continued through the edge of Boston Harbor. Jacob sighed and followed ahead.

They continued on, shooting down the occasional mirelurk, killing a few wandering raiders, but other than that the activity of the place was definitely low. There was nothing to report back on, sure, there was the occasional enemy, but nothing that would intrigue the Elder. Danse and Jacob knew they’d have to keep moving North, though. They’d still have to finish their recon mission, even if the first day was turning up nothing.

They decided to camp out for the night on top of a building, overlooking a raider camp they had cleared out just before. Danse left his power armor to the side, and had even re-lit the fire in the center of the space. Raider bedrolls had already been left out, but they didn’t know what had been on those things, so they just used their own. Danse sat by the barrel fire, using a combat knife to cut open ration packs for him and Jacob. He was quiet, as he had been throughout the entire day. Jacob watched him work, sitting on his bedroll quietly in thought. Trying to nudge Danse into admitting why he was being so weird hadn’t worked for days, so he decided to actually try and be direct.

“Danse, why are you ignoring me?”

Danse thought for a moment. “I don’t understand what you mean.” He droned. Jacob sighed heavily.

“You know exactly what I mean, Danse. You risked life and limb to get me the courser chip, and now you won’t even speak to me? Sorry for being a bit confused.”

Danse furrowed his brow and continued averting eye contact. “It is complicated business, Knight.”

“There it is again. You keep calling me knight.”

“Because that is your title.”

“You and I both know something is wrong, Danse. Why won’t you tell me?” Jacob got up and moved next to Danse by the fire. “Come on, I know you better than anyone in the Brotherhood.”

“And that was incredibly irresponsible and stupid of me.” Danse grit his teeth.

“And you said  _ I  _ was being ridiculous.” Jacob grumbled, turning away.

Danse went quiet again, and after a while he handed him an opened and prepared ration. “... Don’t bring my past words into this, Roberts.” He said lowly, getting up to move his bedroll further away from Jacob’s.  _ Wow. Real childish. _

Jacob ate his food and laid down on his bedroll, facing away from Danse. He angrily sulked, deep into the night until sleep eventually overtook him. Unlike every other night spent camping with Danse, he didn’t bother to check if the Paladin was even asleep. He just drifted off into a deep sleep, away from Paladin Danse and all of this childish garbage.

He dreamed of being back home.

-

Jacob woke up, half expecting Nora to be by his side. It was jarring entering reality from the dream world, he let out a heavy sigh and rolled onto his back, looking out at the stars. He felt so alone under the clear sky. He was even worse at being a Brotherhood soldier than being in the pre-war military, his only friend wouldn’t give him the light of day, and everything he had ever known was dead. His wife, his parents, his world, and most likely his son too. Nothing was going right, nothing was working, not even himself. He rolled back onto his side, and that was when he noticed Danse.

The Paladin wasn’t asleep, he was leaning against the now blackened, cold barrel that had once held a lit fire. He was blankly staring at the horizon, a sad, empty look on his face. Jacob frowned and slowly sat up.

“... Danse?” Jacob mumbled. The Paladin stiffened and looked away.

“You should be sleeping.”

“You should be too.”

“I was just keeping watch.” Danse excused.

“Danse no one’s gonna get us up here, I highly doubt anyone even knows we’re up here.” Jacob reminded him, moving closer to the Paladin.

“I can’t risk it.” 

“Can you risk being honest with me?”

“...” Danse said nothing, glancing up at Jacob then down at the floor. “I said it was complicated.”

“The last month of my life has been complicated, Danse. You aren’t gonna confuse me.” 

Danse took a long deep breath. “I have done something I deeply regret. Haylen said it wasn’t my fault, but the thought still makes me feel as if… as if I want to crawl out of my own skin.” He explained, his tone rather rigid and uncomfortable.

Jacob listened, silently nodding along as he scooted closer to Danse.

“When I am with you, on a recon mission or on personal business, I feel as if I am back with Cutler.” He admitted. “I ignored the numbing fear that I was making a mistake for so long that I grew reckless, and I did something incredibly irresponsible.”

“What did you do, Danse?” Jacob asked softly. Danse leaned down and buried his face in his hands. Jacob had truthfully never seen the Paladin this stressed, this scared. It was terrifying.

“It was my misfire that sent you into a coma. It was my sloppy aim that sent you into a coma. It was my incompetence that almost killed you.”

They both went silent after that. Jacob sighed softly and placed a hand on Danse’s shoulder.

“Well, I’m alive now-”

“This isn’t about that.” Danse dismissed. “I- sorry. It’s just, what happens next? If I keep falling deeper into this incredibly fulfilling friendship, when do I get sloppy again, what happens when I get you killed with my horrendous decision making, then you’re dead, and it’s all my fault all over again.” He vented, his usually strong and confident voice wavering on the brink of tears. “When do you become just another Cutler, where I end up the one who made the final call that got you killed? When does it get to the point where none of it even matters?”

Jacob said nothing to that. He couldn’t. He couldn’t relate to that fear, but it hurt that Danse was going through this, Jacob wanted to help more than anything but he had absolutely no idea how. He just leaned his head onto Danse’s shoulder, now that the two sat together side by side. Danse moved his head away from his hands and wiped at tears, in an attempt to hide the fact that he was even crying.

“I collected the chip a few days after you were brought back to the Prydwen. I thought you’d be awake sooner, maybe in a few days. I nearly died, I thought it was enough to stifle my guilt but it  _ wasn’t. _ There was no excusing the fact that I was the reason you were even asleep in the first place.”

“You nearly died because you thought it would help you forgive yourself…? Danse..” Jacob mumbled.

“It was the only logic I had left. I couldn’t sleep, it was like I was back 6 whole years, back when Cutler died. It was like I was on my bunk in the Capital wasteland, wide awake, full of nothing but fear and endless guilt.”

Jacob just listened, Danse clearly had a lot to get off of his chest.

“I did everything I could, I replaced Righteous Authority, I sharpened my aim, but it still remained. It lingered.” He let out a soft sigh. “And now I can’t even look at you without feeling guilty.”

Jacob sighed softly. “I’m sorry, Danse. I know it’s just empty words but you shouldn’t feel guilty, you don’t need to. I’m glad I survived getting shot in the face, instead of dying while being mauled to death by a giant lizard. I didn’t have any options, and neither did you. You tried your best, and I’m alive.”

Danse frowned and looked over at Jacob. He still had tears in his eyes, 

“I know looking forward to the future in fear is easy, but you need to take one day at a time, Danse.” Jacob touched the Paladin’s hand and lightly squeezed it. Danse let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. “You should get some sleep.”

“I should.” Danse mumbled.

“I’ll keep watch, okay? I promise.”

Danse nodded slightly and moved back to his bedroll, actually laying down to sleep. Jacob watched him, trying not to seem creepy. Once he knew for a fact that Danse had fallen asleep, he looked out from the edge of the building at the surrounding streets.

It was a clear night tonight, no one was out, nothing made a sound in the darkness. The streets that had once held cars and civilians walking to work or even going to get their dry cleaning were not covered in the remains of a raider camp, the concrete corroded away with years of ages. The skyscrapers in the distance were barely standing up, held together by scaffolding built hundreds of years ago, meant to hold. Danse started to snore, Jacob couldn’t help but smile.

The Paladin was his friend again, even if it had taken a raw, emotional confession in the dead of night. Jacob hoped this would bring them closer together again, and if it didn’t, he’d have to keep trying. Danse was stuck hiding in the past, terrified of the future. Jacob wanted to stay alive for him, he couldn’t let Danse blame himself for something that wasn’t his fault.

As Jacob looked out at the streets below, he noticed the faint flicker of a tiny flame in the corner of his eyes. He narrowed them and looked towards it. In the shadows of an alleyway, Jacob could see 2 figures with one lantern being held out at an arm's length. They sculked back into the darkness, heading west. Jacob frowned slightly. That was… strange. He kept his guard up, ready for an attack. Luckily, none came. He quickly forgot about the sight.

It probably wasn’t important anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes, shorter chapter. I didn't wanna stuff too much filler in, the main conversation was honestly the most important part, I wanted to focus on that the most. You know how it is.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna see my doodles from writing, or even the weird things I type when I'm bored. riveting stuff, promise.


	19. November 28th, 2287 - Pt.I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse and Knight Roberts continue on their second day of recon, their friendship finally rekindled. Even if the day is uneventful, Jacob notices a mysterious figure walking through the shadows, and against his better interest he decides to follow.

The next day came as quick as ever, Danse got up a little later than usual, actually looking fully rested. He briefly said good morning and quickly packed up their camp, getting back into his power armor and back on the road with Jacob behind him. The air was notably colder, Jacob was glad he had worn a brotherhood jacket, or else he’d be freezing with barely any protection. Danse stayed relatively quiet as they walked back towards the harbor.

“I apologize if we left too much in a hurry, Knight.” Danse said over his armored shoulder as he walked. “I did not intend to sleep in as late as I did.”

“We woke up at 6 am, Danse. It’s fine.” Jacob chuckled. “You wake up at times no human should be up.”

“At least I show up to meetings on time.” Danse added with a small smile, adjusting the bag hanging over his armored shoulder as they walked.

“Oh come on, don’t act like we didn’t spend a good week out together on the open road.” Jacob snickered, walking ahead towards the edge of the harbor.

Birds sat perched on the rickety wooden posts along the edge, looking at the two in curiosity. What Jacob remembered to be silky black feathers had become patchy and rough in the centuries following the bombs, and even after all of that they still looked graceful and mysterious. Jacob looked out at the horizon, at the distant islands and remaining city to the left of them, shielding his eyes from the bright sky with a gloved hand. They planned to do recon for another two days, so they wouldn’t be out here much longer. 

At this point the two were just scavenging, since Jacob was lighter by comparison, he jumped onto old boats and dug through the unopened drawers and picked the locks of safes in partially downed, vine-covered boats. Danse watched him with a careful eye on the surrounding waters, prepared to shoot down any mirelurks that would try and attack Jacob, even if the knight could protect himself.

By the time it was noon, Jacob had a bag stuffed with salvage and supplies they could sell at the nearest settlement. Danse admitted he would take some for future rifle modifications. Jacob said he couldn’t wait to see what Danse could do with some old springs and tin cans.

Jacob was currently sitting on the circular seats at an old cafe counter, Danse was behind the counter digging through the cabinets for something to eat. They were both rather quiet, Jacob fiddling with the sleeve on his Brotherhood bomber jacket. The Paladin set a can of preserved meat onto the counter along with a can of purified water, continuing to dig through drawers and compartments for his own meal.

“So… what did you end up doing while I was asleep?” Jacob asked, carefully peeling back the tin lid as he spoke. Danse paused in thought before actually answering.

“I stayed focused on work, I filed paperwork concerning your injury, and did business in the Brotherhood outpost on the edge of the Glowing Sea with Scribe Haylen.” Danse explained. “We were both concerned, so we decided to stay together while you remained asleep on the Prydwen.”

“You aren’t gonna tell me any exciting stories?” Jacob teased as he swallowed down century old processed meat.

“There weren’t that many developments.” Danse cast Jacob a look, opening a box of preserved food. He leaned back against the back counter of the kitchen, mainly focusing on the food in his hands and not at Jacob. “We did recon in the area, found a vault in the control of the gunners. They attacked first, we had no choice but to antagonize them.”

“Gunners? Aren’t they just dumber, dirtier raiders?”

“They rely on old pre war tech, but they’re far more animalistic. They prefer to wear military fatigues and they all use laser weapons.”

“Sounds pretty familiar..” Jacob mumbled, then laughed nervously at the dirty look Danse gave him. “Sorry sir, didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Danse rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, uh… when did you end up getting the courser chip?”

Danse glanced at Jacob and sighed softly. “I’ll admit I was getting rather… impatient. Desperate, as Haylen put it.” He admitted, choosing his words rather carefully, as if one wrong choice would end up destroying his career. “I remembered what that  _ thing  _ had told you, and I thought I might as well do something to help you while you were out of commission, so I tracked the courser down to the Greentech building near Cambridge and killed it.” The Paladin told the story as if it were no big deal, but Jacob knew it was deeper than that. He had mentioned it the previous night.

Danse had wanted to get himself nearly killed in an attempt to forgive himself, sure, making the journey to Shaun easier for Jacob was part of it, but Danse had intended to get himself nearly killed. 

“Do you have any idea on how we’re gonna get it decoded…?”

“I’m not fully sure, I was hoping this recon mission would get us closer to finding out, but I’m afraid all we’ve found is salvage and mirelurk carcasses.” Danse sighed softly.

“We’ll find something. If we don’t find anything out here, we can just take the chip to the Brotherhood scientists, maybe they’ll be able to decode it.” Jacob suggested. Danse shrugged.

“That’s definitely an idea,”

“Then after that, I guess we head back out towards the glowing sea.” Jacob decided. Danse frowned deeply and moved off from the back counter.

“Absolutely not. I forbid you from going back there.” Danse spat, catching Jacob off guard. He didn’t expect the Paladin to be so against Jacob even setting foot in there again. It was just one deathclaw, they’d be alright.

“Danse it was just one-”

“I don’t care, I’ll be faster if I go on my own.” Danse interrupted.

“Danse,  _ please- _ ”

“This is the end of the discussion.” The Paladin decided, turning away from Jacob to continue eating. The knight sighed heavily and begrudgingly swallowed down the rest of his meal in awkward silence.

-

The day continued on, Danse and Jacob mainly scavenging along the edge of Boston Harbor, occasionally dipping into the city to dig around in the alleyways for anything of value, or of interest to the Brotherhood. Of course, they didn’t find much in either category, and sooner than anticipated, the sun was already setting. The air was chill, colder than it had been the day before. Jacob shivered as the two walked through the city in silence, looking for a warm place to set up camp for the night. They eventually settled on an old bookstore with the windows still somehow intact. There had been a small fire set up with cinder blocks and pieces of wood that had been left by a previous wanderer, and Danse could easily light it and get a small fire going to warm the sealed off room. Jacob offered to watch, insisting that Danse needed the sleep. The Paladin begrudgingly agreed, laying on his bedroll facing the wall, eventually dozing off as the night moved on around them.

Jacob looked out of the window, keeping a close eye on anything that might pass by and attack them. His rifle was next to him, he was ready for anything that might come to attack them.

Curiously, nothing came. Nothing that seemed hostile, that is. As the hours went on, Jacob could feel the fatigue caving in on him. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to keep awake so he could continue watching the now empty streets ahead of them. He held the courser chip in his hand, thinking deeply about how the hell he was supposed to get it decoded. He had absolutely no idea, honestly. He didn’t know anyone that knew how to decode anything, let alone an extremely encrypted piece of tech from a shady, underground science cult. He sighed heavily and stuffed the thing into his pocket sleepily.

Just when he thought about giving up and getting some sleep, he saw the movement of a shadow in the corner of his eye. It was a man dressed in dirty jeans and a weathered coat, it looked like he was bald, the rest of his face covered by shadow and dark, tinted sunglasses covering his eyes. The mysterious stranger was standing in an alleyway, holding a piece of paper in his hands and reading through it. Jacob hesitated, looking over at the sleeping form of Danse.

But he was already up, rifle on his back. He waited for the man to walk away down the alley and he followed after him as quietly as he could. Danse wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t be out long.

He walked down the alleyway, making sure to keep an eye on the stranger and his footsteps quiet. The bitter cold definitely distracted him, but Jacob tried not to let it make his teeth chatter. That would give his position away. They walked out into the courtyard of the Old North Church, which was much nearer than he had thought it was. Jacob stayed behind a corner of the alleyway and watched the man step into the front door. Once he knew the coast was clear, he followed inside.

The church was in ruins, most of the main room collapsed and covered in mold and dirt. Corpses of ghouls laid, hanging uncomfortably over century old church pews, all clearly dead based on the number of bullet wounds. As Jacob examined them, some of the corpses were riddled with railroad nails, which was… curious. He hadn’t seen something killed with those, definitely a development of the Commonwealth. Strangely, the stranger was nowhere in sight.

He stepped over the layers of dirt and mold into the dark stairwell, down towards the catacombs. The walls were littered with white painted symbols, all vague in meaning. The stranger must have gone this way. He reached the catacombs, the long, dark hallways that smelled like dead body and sadness. He grimaced and flicked on the light on his pip boy, shining the light over his surroundings. He stepped over the skeleton laid over the middle of the hallway and started walking forwards towards the ominous green light in the distance. It was warm down here, a stark contrast to not only the feeling outside but also in the church. He flashed the light across the walls with a frown, finding nothing but a few plaques and a dead end. However, he found a circular plaque on the wall, a red wire running up the wall and into a broken off chunk of brick against the ceiling.

He frowned, touching the plaque curiously. The middle moved, obviously a button, and the surrounding ring of words spun clockwise and counterclockwise, there was a painted arrow at the top, pointing down at whatever letter was underneath. It was a puzzle. There was a solution to this puzzle, and he didn’t have that many letters to work with. The only letters on the plaque read ‘THE FREEDOM TRAIL - BOSTON’ in all caps.

Jacob sighed and put in the first thing that came to mind. ‘BOSTON’. There was nothing, so clearly it was the incorrect combination. He sighed heavily and looked around for any clues, there really wasn’t anything around.

Then… he thought back to the railroad bolts blasted into those ghouls up above. Honestly, it was probably just a coincidence, just the result of a fight completely unrelated, nothing to do with the ridiculous puzzle at hand.

If this combination didn’t work, he’d just turn around and head back into camp.

‘RAILROAD’. There was a loud click, and the bricks began to part. Jacob’s eyes widened, he looked at the door in relative shock, completely taken aback.

He took out his rifle and turned off the safety, cautiously stepping through the door into a pitch black room. He squinted to get a cleared view of what was in front of him, and stepped further forward onto a ledge. Then, the lights switched on.

In front of him stood 2 women, one with an unfamiliar gun pointed directly at Jacob. She had long red hair, dressed in loosely fitted fatigues. A cigarette hung from her mouth, and she was currently glaring daggers into Jacob. The second woman was dressed head to toe in powerful armor, a giant minigun also pointed at Jacob. Her hair was a stark white, she was staring down Jacob like he was an ant under her boot.

“What the hell are you doing here.” The redhead spat, gripping her weapon even tighter. Jacob gulped. “How the hell did you find us.”

“I don’t-” Jacob began.

“Drop the weapon.” The woman with the minigun cut in. Jacob did as he was told, stooping down to set his rifle on the ground.

“I don’t know who you are, I was just following a guy I thought was suspicious.” Jacob explained, holding his hands up.

“This is a breach, I have every right to kill you where you stand. Turn around and-” The redhead was cut off by a man slinking in with a sly smile on his face.

“Dez! Dez come on, take a chill pill. It’s the courser killer’s little crush.” He said with a smile. It was the stranger, only… dressed in different clothes, and a wig. Jacob stared at the man in confusion, the redhead, apparently named Dez, lowered her weapon to look at the man in confusion.

“Excuse me, Deacon?” Dez glanced from Jacob back at Deacon, who shrugged and smiled.

“He’s buddies with the dude that killed the courser. Real big deal in the BOS, apparently. Got a little romance going on.”

“Hey we do not-”

“Shh the grownups are talking.” Deacon grinned and shushed Jacob from across the room.

“Why the hell would that matter, Deacon.”

“When’s the last time we got our hands on one of those chips, Dez?” Deacon nudged her with his elbow. “If he’s got his hands on one…”

“You. Do you have the courser chip?” Dez asked. Jacob looked through his pockets and found it, pulling it out.

“This?” Jacob asked. Dez’ eyes lit up, she glanced back at Deacon, then looked back at Jacob.

“We are allowing you into our headquarters. If you do anything we deem unsatisfactory, we will kill you.” She spat, lowering her weapon. The woman next to her pointed her minigun away from Jacob and towards the wall, looking over at Deacon, confused. Jacob didn’t know how to feel, he just followed the woman back towards a door labeled in white paint.

It was a symbol of a lantern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but it's better to get it out of the way so I can move on to chapters I'm actually proud of. Anyway, sorry I've gone a bit silent the last week, I'm back now though! Hopefully I'll be able to focus on this fic again until I hit chapter 20!
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna see the dumb things I post!


	20. November 28th, 2287 - Pt.II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob meets the railroad without Danse's knowledge. They're a mysterious organization he doesn't fully understand, and one of the agents knows an awful lot about the Paladin and the underlying messages of the Brotherhood. Is Jacob really standing with the right crowd? Is Jacob on the right side of history? Can he even lie to Danse?

Dez opened the door to the supposed headquarters, ushering Jacob inside, maybe a little too rough as she pushed him further inside. It was a hidden room in the catacombs, and as they stepped further down the stairs to reveal the entire base, it was a working headquarters too. There was a large table in the middle with a huge map of what looked like the commonwealth and countless other locations all marked and labeled with notes in red and black pen. The edges of the tables were lit up in candles and lanterns. Jacob looked around the entire headquarters. There were multiple areas, one space where a doctor sat patching up someone on what used to be a tomb, now turned into a small bed. There were shelves of food and supplies, and mattresses placed next to each other in the corner of the room. There were people sleeping on them, rolled over to face away from Jacob.

Deacon and the woman with a minigun passed by, Deacon went to his own little corner next to a man who was currently huddled over a computer, mumbling to himself. The woman set her minigun next to an out-of-use power armor station. Dez snapped her fingers in Jacob’s face, causing him to flinch and look back at her.

“This is the Railroad.” Dez said, once she knew she had his attention. “My name is Desdemona, I’m the leader of this organization. We save synths from the Institute, from a life of slavery. In this world, we’re the synth’s only friends.” She explained, leaning against the table in the center, looking over the maps. “We’re set up all over the commonwealth, not just in Boston. But this is the main base of operations. Allowing you here is a huge risk, do not take that lightly.”

“I won’t ma’am.” Jacob nodded nervously. Dez nodded.

“Good. That courser chip you have in your hand, what were you going to do with it.”

“I was going to decode it.” Jacob answered truthfully. “I wanted to get into the Institute.”

“I see.” Dez sighed and glanced over at Jacob. “I know someone who can decode it. I trust him with my life, he’s the smartest man I know. But I’ll only do it if you let us keep the chip itself.”

“I-” Jacob thought for a moment. “I guess that sounds fine, I just need the code itself.” 

“Then we should be able to make a deal here. We’ll give you the code to the chip, you let us keep the chip itself.” Dez decided. “Give the chip to me. I will give it to our resident tech expert, you can stay here until he is done. If I catch you sneaking off, you’re as good as dead.”

She held out her hand for the chip, Jacob obliged and handed the small object to her, watching her walk away towards the man huddled over the computer. This left Jacob alone to watch Railroad agents mingle in the headquarters, talking about things he couldn’t get in earshot. Jacob sighed softly and leaned back against the stone table in the center. He thought he was alone, until someone spoke up next to him.

“Likin’ the view?” Jacob flinched and looked over, it was Deacon, the strange man he followed here in the first place.

“You. You’re really suspicious, you know that right?”

“The only reason you saw me is ‘cause I wanted you to, smart guy.” He smiled. “The name’s Deacon, as far as everyone here is aware. I’m also Tom, Robert, Cindy, Jake, and my personal favorite, Leopold.” He snickered and reached up, lifting his wig off as if he was tipping a hat. He was definitely a strange guy.

“So uh- What exactly does the railroad do around here.” Jacob asked awkwardly, shuffling away from Deacon. 

The strange man shrugged. “I bet Dez gave you the whole speech about how we’re the synth’s only friends, right?” Jacob nodded in response. “Well, Synths come running from the Institute all the time, not super sure where they come from but they’re getting out somehow. We find them and bring them here, get them patched up, wipe their memory, give them new ones, and send them somewhere else like the Capital.” 

“Sounds pretty organized.”

“It has to be, we’ve been doing it for 30 years.” Deacon continued to explain. “Just one of those things no one else agrees with, we just do it anyway. Either it’s to help Synths or to get back at the Institute for fucking up perfectly good lives.”

“Huh.” Jacob couldn’t really think why anyone would hate this. Sure, they were synths, that was a huge no-no in the Brotherhood, but they were slaves, right? Honestly he wasn’t really sure. There were so many conflicting narratives it made his head hurt.

“If you’re not a fan of synths, know we’re trying to fuck with the Institute ourselves. Just because you’re ride-or-die with a different group doesn’t mean you can’t work with us.”

“I feel like you’re trying to get me to join.” Jacob chuckled nervously. Deacon shrugged.

“Food for thought.” He pushed off from the table and stepped back from Jacob. “You’ll see me around, let me know if you ever wanna hear about any openings.” He slipped away after sending Jacob a few finger guns, leaving the Knight confused.

Jacob sighed softly and looked over at Dez, who was watching their tech expert examine the chip using a magnifier, and typing things into the custom terminal at his side. He was mumbling things Jacob didn’t understand, excitedly bouncing on his heels as he turned the small device in his fingertips.

The man grinned and took out a holotape from the computer, passing it to Dez, who walked back to Jacob with a small smile on her face.

“Here’s your code, I hope you use it wisely.” Jacob took the holotape and slid it into his pocket. “When you hit a breakthrough, I trust you will bring it to us first, correct?”

“Uh- I don’t know about that.” Jacob admitted. Dez scowled and glared at the Knight.

“You _ will _ bring any new information you find to us. The other groups in the commonwealth are not as well versed with the Institute as we are, and you know that for a fact.” She spat. “We save countless lives, not just here, but in other places as well. All the Brotherhood of Steel will do is control the masses under the guise of ‘Protection’, you can’t be this naive.”

Jacob frowned. “I really should go.”

“Let me ask you one thing, first.” Dez said, her voice low and intimidating. “I beg you to think about joining us, think long and hard about who you  _ really  _ want to side with in this war.”

Jacob merely nodded, stepping away towards the door he had come through. Dez watched him leave with a careful eye, sending a signal for Deacon to lead him out. The agent nodded and followed behind Jacob as the Knight walked back through the door and into the catacombs he had once been through, the journey slightly more familiar on the second trip. Deacon caught up with him, a smile on his face despite the uncomfortable surroundings.

“Sorry ‘bout Dez’s whole deal with the Railroad. She’s a do-or-die kinda girl. You’re either with her or you’re against her.” He explained rather nonchalantly. “I do think you’d like it with us, though. If you’re up for a bit of spy business.”

“I’m perfectly fine with the Brotherhood, thank you.” Jacob dismissed, trying to walk ahead of Deacon. The agent only walked faster.

“Pfft please, you and I both know they’re more prejudiced than they let on. Your best pal Danse has a hate boner for ghouls for a reason, and it isn’t just because of his personal preference.”

“How do you even know his name?” Jacob stopped and glared at Deacon. “You know nothing about him, he’s my best friend.”

“I know a bit more about him than you might think.” Deacon shrugged. “I’m just saying you should start questioning the things you hear and see up there in the clouds. Maxson says he’s for the people, you and I both know he’s only talking about the people that are with him.”

Jacob paused, frowning slightly to himself. As much as he hated to admit it, Deacon might be right about that one. Was the Brotherhood really the only good option…?

“I… I think I know the way back from here.” Jacob decided, visibly perturbed, already walking away from Deacon towards the exit of the church.

“I’ll be around. You’ll find me.” Deacon assured, stepping back from Jacob.

“What the hell does that mean-” The knight turned around to look at the agent, and Deacon was nowhere to be found. He paused and looked around the dark church in confusion, only to turn around with a soft sigh.

It was snowing outside, the cold chill given purpose as the white flakes fluttered down to the broken concrete streets. Jacob felt himself shiver, stuffing his hands into the pockets of the jacket to keep warm. He fiddled with the holotape inside his pocket, just to make sure it was still there as he walked further away from the church. He stepped out onto the harbor and looked out at the horizon. He saw the Prydwen floating up above the Boston Airport in a permanent hover, looming over the commonwealth. Jacob hated to admit it, but it looked far more intimidating and scary then it had when he first saw it entering the Commonwealth.

Sure, they weren’t perfect, but they couldn’t be as bad as Deacon and Dez had said. Danse was the nicest person Jacob knew, and it wasn’t just Danse it was Haylen too. Rhys was more of a piece of work, but he still didn’t think he was evil, just a dickbag. Elder Maxson was a little fixated on his own ideals, but it wasn’t like he was despicably evil, he was just trying to save the commonwealth from itself.

Jacob pushed open the door to the cafe, looking over to find Danse still fast asleep on his bedroll. Nothing looked tampered with, and as Jacob shook the snow out of his hair he thought about what Deacon had said to him when they walked back out from the Catacombs. He knew more about Danse than Jacob thought,  _ what the hell was that supposed to mean?  _ Was Danse hiding something? Sure, he was the type to keep something big hidden away, but why would he tell Deacon before him? 

Jacob sighed heavily and sat back down on his bedroll, looking back out the window at the falling snow. 

_ Around this time he’d be decorating for Christmas with Nora.  _

Right now he was sitting on the floor of a 200 year old cafe, his only friend fast asleep a few feet away from him. He was far away from home, with no way of getting back to the life he missed so dearly. He felt the weight of the holotape in his pocket. What would he tell Danse? That he got the chip decoded by the Railroad? Danse would only send troops to wipe them all out, and Jacob didn’t want that. He didn’t want to cause any unnecessary deaths in the process of fulfilling his promise to Nora. 

He decided to lie. He would say he had gotten it decoded based on his own skills and a bit of tinkering. He could pass with that as the truth, couldn’t he? It’s not like it mattered how the chip had been decoded, at least the chip had been decoded in the first place.

He didn’t feel good about lying to Danse, but he knew it was something he had to do to keep good people safe. The Paladin would understand. He watched the snow stick to the ground outside the cafe. The next day was going to be a cold one, but if their luck turned out for just one day longer, they’d make it back to the Prydwen in no time with a fully decoded courser chip, they’d be one step closer to finding Shaun and the Institute, they’d be one step closer to being done with all of this.

Maybe he’d get lucky. Maybe Shaun was alive. If not… at least he had Danse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe Deacon is so fun to write. I was so excited to put him into the story, I want to bring him back here and there, maybe to watch Jacob. Let's hope I remember, I forget a lot of things when I write. Anyway leave comments if you like the story! Literally, it builds up my motivation a lot. Just like... drop in and tell me what you liked about the chapter, or hell, the rest of the story, if it isn't too much trouble.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage!


	21. December 1st, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Danse goes off towards the Glowing Sea, leaving Jacob back at the Prydwen alone. Thankfully, a familiar Scribe flies up on her own business and decides to keep him company. Together, they have a crisis over a beer.

The snow was layered over the long road that led towards the Boston Airport, the weather had been cold and white for the past few days, making the two Brotherhood soldiers push to finish their Recon as fast as possible. Jacob trudged through the snow the best he could in just his uniform, the thick leather boots only going so far in protecting him from the cold. Danse didn’t seem to mind, then again he wasn’t exactly one to complain, either.

Their journey back to the Prydwen had been uneventful, just cold nights and quiet conversations. One of those conversations being the conversation about Jacob’s decode courser chip. He had lied, like he had decided on. Whether Danse bought the lie was an entirely different deal, but Danse hadn’t asked any other questions, he just agreed that he’d leave with the codes towards the Glowing Sea once they got back to the Prydwen. Jacob had told Danse that he knew his way around a computer thanks to his wife, military training, and his personal education. The guilt of lying to Danse had been sitting with him for days at this point, and he knew he’d have to live with it as not to risk the safety of the Railroad. As long as Danse didn’t question the lie, he’d be in the clear.

They walked out onto the airport clearing, the snow had been swept away to make way for Brotherhood work. The familiar orange flags barely fluttered in the weak breeze. Jacob let out a soft sigh and looked up at the giant airship above.

“Home sweet home.” He said, glancing over at Danse. The Paladin nodded.

“I want to get the insulation lining of my power armor checked before I leave for the Glowing Sea.” Danse explained, already starting to walk in past the barrier with Jacob at his side. “I advise you to wait for me at the airport, unless of course you have other business to attend to.”

“Oh nah, I don’t have anything to do when you aren’t around.” Jacob admitted with a shrug. “I’ll figure something out, I bet Maxson or the other staff can come up with something.” Danse sent him a disapproving look. Jacob already knew why. “Oh- Sorry sir. I meant Elder Maxson.” Danse nodded slightly in approval. The paladin loved his official titles.

Danse shrugged and continued to explain his own plans. “Well I hope you find something to do while I am away. I suspect that with the checkpoint on the edge of the glowing sea, I will only be gone for a few days.”

They passed by knights and Initiates, some giving Danse and him a welcome salute, some of which Danse returned. They made it to the vertibird pad in the middle of the rundown airport, where a vertibird sat, waiting to carry people up to the Prydwen.

They both climbed up into the Vertibird, Jacob sitting down in one of the small seats while Danse stood beside him, holding onto the bolted-in pipe above his head. The craft took off and rose through the air. The wind howled around them, being caught up in the Vertibirds whirring propellers. It attached to the Prydwen and came to a halt, allowing Danse to jump out of it, Jacob climbing down after him. They were welcomed to no fanfare, just a chilly day on the Prydwen’s flight deck. Scribes were wearing much thicker uniforms, and heaters had been set out for those working out in the freezing cold. Jacob was jealous, he had been out in boston for days with just a coat. Then again, it was better to be with a coat than without one. The two trudged past the scribes either talking amongst themselves about work, or fixing and tightening valves on pipes that went along the edge of the flight deck. They walked up into the Prydwen, Danse opening the door for Jacob.

They each parted ways, Danse walking towards Elder Maxson to give him a full and honest report. That left Jacob alone to go back up to his own personal bed to unpack. He had collected a lot of scrap during the mission that he wanted to sell and keep for himself. Danse was busy, he didn’t want to bother him.

So, he returned to his bed, sorting through the things in his bag and deciding what to keep and what not to keep.

-

Danse ended up leaving that night. He had left with a brief exchange with Jacob, clad in his now insulated power armor and ready to head out to the Glowing Sea to speak with Virgil. He had promised not to be rude, no matter how reluctant he was, but the sentiment meant enough to Jacob. At this rate, they’d have plans to get into the Institute in no time, Jacob couldn’t thank Danse enough for his help in the process.

That just left Jacob with one problem, what was he supposed to do while his one distraction was gone? He couldn’t think of one thing that could take up a day, not without him thinking about the death of Nora, or the possible demise of his son. Not even jobs distracted him, and he did them anyway. Carrying crates to their correct spots for sorting, organizing books and files for Proctor Quinlan, a job normally done by a scribe. None of the staff complained, thankfully. They were just happy someone was doing the work.

He carried a box of rolled up blueprints back from the flight deck, holding the box from the bottom in front of him. Before he could climb up the ladder, he was stopped by the voice of Elder Maxson.

“Knight Roberts,” The elder addressed, his voice serious as always. Jacob looked over, moving the box to one arm to look at the elder.

“Yes elder?”

“I must speak with you briefly.” Maxson waved a hand in the direction of the room he often stayed in, the one with the rather foggy windows overlooking the entire city ahead. Jacob nodded and set the box down in the doorway, stepping into the room after the elder.

“What is it, sir?” Jacob asked, keeping his nerves down so he could address the elder at attention.

“I wanted to speak with you about the amount of personal business you and Paladin Danse have been on.” Maxson said. Jacob blinked in surprise. He wasn’t aware they had been doing that so often, he thought it had been a reasonable amount of times.

“Do you have a problem with it, sir?”

“No, no, I’m not going to discipline you over this. I merely want to voice my concern… and perhaps my curiosity.” Maxson admitted, turning to face Jacob directly, his hands propped up behind his back. “I understand you have your own personal business, but I’ve never seen a knight need to go to a place like the Glowing Sea with their sponsor, then come back severely injured.”

“Elder, I assure you my personal business will be a benefit to the Brotherhood.” Jacob assured. “I just have to be completely sure the information I have is worth the Brotherhood’s time.”

Elder Maxson paused for a moment in thought, looking at Jacob skeptically. He sighed very briefly and nodded. “If you insist that whatever you are doing will benefit the Brotherhood, I will not object. However, I expect results soon, or there will be consequences. The Brotherhood of Steel cannot afford one less Knight. I’m already stretched thin with Paladin Danse away. We need all personnel on deck if we want to take the Institute down.”

Jacob nodded. “Yes sir, I completely understand.” The elder nodded back and turned around to face the windows in the room. Jacob saluted the man and turned on his heel to leave the room.

“I expect results, Knight Roberts.” The elder reminded as Jacob left, looking back over his shoulder at the Knight with a careful gaze. Jacob gulped and picked the box of blueprints back up and carried them to Proctor Quinlan’s office, the Elder’s words resonating in him.

_ I expect results,  _ he had warned. Jacob knew full well the Elder didn’t mean to be negative, but the way he spoke sounded so ominous. Maybe he had just been thinking differently after his encounter with the Railroad, but who knows. Deacon had warned him about Elder Maxson’s ideals, the agent was untrustworthy, and a pathological liar, but maybe that statement had some truth to it. Jacob set the blueprints down next to Proctor Quinlan’s desk, still lost in thought. He almost didn’t notice a familiar Scribe on his left as he stepped out of the office.

Scribe Haylen waved in front of his face to get his attention, beaming.

“Jacob! Jacob, come on buddy.” She chuckled, snapping the Knight out of his thought provoked transe.

“Ah- sorry Haylen.” Jacob shook himself and stepped aside into the mess hall so he could speak with the scribe. “Crazy seeing you up here, I thought you were on the edge of the glowing sea?”

“I was, I had to do some business up here. I’m free the rest of the night.” She explained. “What about you? I heard Danse left for the Glowing Sea without you.”

Jacob sighed heavily and nodded. “He insisted on going without me, said it was too dangerous.” Haylen nodded with a frown.

“Don’t put it against him too much. He was a real wreck when you were out, or at least that’s what I could see.” Haylen reached over to pat his shoulder. “You wanna hang out with me? At least until he gets back. I promise I don’t bite.”

“Anything’s better than carrying more things for Quinlan.” Jacob chuckled and nodded, walking with her towards the exit.

He was lucky that Haylen was here, he didn’t know how the hell he’d be able to occupy himself while Danse was gone.

-

Haylen popped the cap off of the glass beer bottle, causing it to fling into the air. Jacob laughed and lunged out to catch it, handing it back to the scribe for later use. She snickered and took a swig of the stuff, grinning to herself and looking out at the Airport from the empty parking garage.

They had decided to stay somewhere private that wasn’t the Prydwen for time alone, so they settled on an old parking garage just outside of Brotherhood occupied land. They had climbed up the levels to the top, where they knew no one could see them or recognize them. Jacob sat down in the trunk of a century old van, protected by the snow. The van creaked in objection, but the Knight settled down anyway, leaning back against the side. The Scribe settled down next to him with a smile. The snow had stopped falling at this point, now just leaving clumps of undisturbed white ice settled in corners. The air was still chilly, which meant this was the first cold beer Jacob had had in ages.

“Cheers,” Haylen said with a happy grin, offering him the bottle. Jacob obliged, taking it in his hand.

“Man, it’s wild I’ve been out here for over a month.” Jacob mused, looking up at the evening sky in thought.

“Yeah, pretty wild.” Haylen agreed. “You don’t remember 2 weeks of it, but still an accomplishment.”

“I guess, I don’t feel super accomplished out here.” Jacob admitted, setting the beer down carefully to fiddle with his gloves. Haylen took the beer back, sending Jacob a concerned look.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You’ve been in the brotherhood for a month and you’re already a Knight, well on his way to becoming a Paladin.”

Jacob paused for a moment, mulling over the thoughts in his head. Would he tell her the truth? Would he tell her that he wasn’t from this timeline? Eventually he decided. He was already lying to Danse, it wasn’t worth lying to Haylen too.

“It’s a long story,” He mumbled. “I was frozen, in a vault. I was stuck there for 200 years.” He began. Haylen nodded along, listening intently. “I’m from before the war, I was born in 2041, I was in the Military for 10 years, I got married when I was 30, and I had a kid at 36.” 

“Oh… Jacob I’m sorry.” Haylen frowned deeply.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I bet it was disappointing, seeing what we’ve come to now.” The scribe explained, rather sadly. “Hundreds and thousands of years of endless innovation and creation, all gone to waste.

“I don’t think it went to waste,” Jacob sighed and scooted back to face Haylen directly. “I think it’s impressive that even after all this time there are people still around, fighting for what’s right. Like, I didn’t think there’d be any serious military, and look at the Brotherhood. It’s amazing here.”

Haylen hesitated, looking away from the knight. “I don’t think that it’s…  _ that  _ great in the Brotherhood.” She admitted, choosing her words wisely. “There’s a lot of rules and ideas I don’t agree with, a lot of tactics I don’t…  _ fully condone _ .” 

“You wanna talk about it?” Haylen looked at Jacob, her expression filled with fearful hesitation. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Danse.” Haylen seemed at least slightly convinced by that. She took a long, deep breath.

“I don’t agree with the Brotherhood’s view on Ghouls.” She began. “Sure, on paper it leaves an exception for ghouls that have yet to go feral, but that means most of the soldiers on deck are racists, won’t even give a settler the time of day just because they’re a ghoul.” The tension in her shoulders released as she talked, almost as if a weight was being lifted. “I don’t agree with how they see Synths, too. I’ve met many, and they’re so close to human I don’t even think it matters anymore. The problem is they’re just as brainwashed and delusional as most of the Brotherhood soldiers, and if Maxson would just open his eyes and  _ realize that- _ ” She cut herself off looking to the floor in thought. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

“It’s fine, I get it,” Jacob assured. “You’re frustrated.”

“And I care about Danse, too, but sometimes I feel like he’s being brainwashed. He thinks his whole life depends on what Elder Maxson thinks of him, and his place in the Brotherhood, that if anything would go wrong I don’t know how he’d act.” She continued at full force. “I don’t think he even knows it’s a problem.”

“Brainwashed? I don’t know about that…” 

“Jacob, Danse never speaks about anything other than the Brotherhood. He cares so much about his image and rank I think it’ll kill him. I’m worried.”

Jacob frowned slightly, thinking silently on what Haylen had said.

“I’ll give him one thing though,” Haylen added on after a few moments of silence, her tone softened. “The only time I see him genuinely relaxed is when he’s with you. I know he cares about you. At this point I don’t know if it’s platonic or romantic, but it’s doing something good. I really don’t want you to stop.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, he’s my friend.”

“Good.” Haylen sighed heavily. “I care too much about him to see his obsession get him killed.”

She ended the conversation with a long swig of beer, she passed the bottle back to Jacob to do the same. Danse may have been absent, but that wouldn’t be for much longer. On the bright side, he had become much closer friends with Scribe Haylen. Having more than one friend out here was good news, he’d need all the help he could get.

There was more pressure on him to deliver to the Brotherhood, he could feel the tension in his gut. Elder Maxson was impatient, despite how calm and collected he might appear. If he found information on how to get into the Institute, he’d have to give it to the Brotherhood, despite the railroad’s interest. The Paladin would expect him to, and something told Jacob that Elder Maxson didn’t take promises lightly. Especially over such serious implications. 

Then his thoughts wandered to the Paladin, risking his life yet again in the Glowing Sea. Jacob couldn’t help but tuck his knees closer towards himself. He cared about the Paladin, hell, he could admit he felt strange, familiar feelings when around him. They reminded him of times with his wife, only much stronger for some reason. The fluttering in his chest, and the urge to relax. It was an unfamiliar feeling he had heard so much about in countless love songs on the radio. Love songs he’d always roll his eyes at and think  _ no, that can’t possibly be what it’s like. _

That’s when the thought crossed his mind.  _ Was he gay? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A messy chapter about Jacob having a crisis over his sexuality, and Haylen admitting she doesn't trust the brotherhood. What a lovely romp. Sorry for the chapter being so all over the place, but it's taken me so long to write it I might as well post it to make way for the better chapters. Please leave comments and Kudos if you like the fic so far! It'd be much appreciated.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you're seriously curious about the self indulgent stuff I post.


	22. December 2nd, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Scribe Haylen wait for Paladin Danse by running errands, essentially. On the final errand, Jacob meets a somewhat familiar face and continues to question the morality of his alliances. However, it's too late, as Danse is finally back and Elder Maxson already has the plans they need in his hand. At this point he cannot make a choice, he must work with the Brotherhood to find his son, and in only a short matter of time he'll be able to see him again.

Jacob’s power armor boots trudged through the melting snow. The armor felt strange to wear again after so long, this feeling was only amplified by the fact that it was a new set, it had yet to be broken in, as Ingram had explained. The only way to break it in was to put it to use, and that was what he and Scribe Haylen had been doing for the past day. It was already mid afternoon, and the two had searched through 3 old office buildings near the airport. The bag of secured tech was slung over Haylen’s shoulder. Right now they were walking towards a rather large farm on the coast, the knight had seen the dim lights of the farm from the Prydwen’s flight deck, but he had never actually been there himself. They needed to convince the farm to supply the brotherhood with part of their crops. The idea didn’t fully sit well with Haylen, but Jacob had promised that if they didn’t want to hand the crops over, he’d be fine with going back empty handed. 

Haylen hummed along to the radio that was faintly playing from Jacob’s Pip-Boy, which he had let her borrow for the long walk. They could see their breath in the chill afternoon air, a testament to how cold it really was.

The farm came fully into view. It was set near the beach, large patches of dirt packed into wooden frames surrounding a rather large wooden shack.The beds of dirt looked like they could grow a countless number of things, but in the cold winter the only thing that was reliably growing were tatos and and razorgrain. A fire was set just outside, crackling lightly. A small caravan sat around it, warming their ungloved hands to keep themselves from freezing. One of those disgusting, two-headed cows sat to the side, loaded with bags and cases of supplies and drinking from what looked like a repurposed old bathtub. Haylen walked ahead towards the farm, handing the bag of tech and documents off to Jacob. The knight watched her knock lightly on the door, and stopped near the caravan to wait once she was cautiously welcomed inside by the family of farmers.

Jacob carefully scanned the area. The farm wasn’t that protected, no turrets in sight, not even a watch post. The only protection they had right now were the mercenaries that had been hired to watch the visiting caravan. The traders sent Jacob suspicious looks, clearly set off by the Brotherhood logo on his armor. He sighed softly and looked away from the caravan around the fire, only to notice a suspicious man leaning against the side of the shack.

He had blond hair, and was wearing a thick winter jacket and worn out jeans that looked like they had been through years of wear and tear. What set Jacob off was the man’s sunglasses. He looked like Deacon, the strange Railroad agent with the lying problem. The man clearly noticed his staring, and looked directly at Jacob. This only confirmed it, that man was Deacon. The knight walked towards him, and Agent clearly began to briefly panic, pushing off the wooden wall to walk away, but Jacob stopped him.

“You,”

“Yeah?” Deacon smiled over his shoulder, stopping in his tracks. “The hell do you want.” He turned on his heel and faced Jacob, his voice slightly lowered to sound weathered and gravelly.

“What are you doing here.”

“I got no clue what you’re talking about, I’m just here to trade.” Deacon shrugged at Jacob’s accusatory glance.

“Deacon, stop fucking with me, I know it’s-” Before Jacob could finish his sentence, Deacon shushed him and pointed a thumb behind him.

“Let’s take it over here, eh?” Deacon stepped back away from Jacob, now back behind the house.

“Okay, now that we’re in private can you please explain what you’re doing here.” Jacob sighed heavily, already exhausted of Deacon’s bullshit.

“Just seeing the sights, I hear cold tato is real in season this time of year.” Deacon grinned, lowering his voice so they could speak with more assured privacy. “I could be asking the same thing of you, anyway. What’s the Brotherhood doing here? You know I’m a real gossip.”

“I can’t just tell you Brotherhood business, Deacon. You’re a civilian, and an untrustworthy one at that.”

“Awh come on. For all you know, I could be a Brotherhood soldier! You wouldn’t know, eh? Just a knight.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jacob scoffed. “You are insane.”

“I’m just sane in a crazy world, Jakey.” Deacon visibly winked under his dark sunglasses.

“Can you answer one thing honestly, at least?”

“No promises.”

“Please tell me what on earth you’re doing here.” Jacob asked. He didn’t feel like dealing with a man like Deacon, but he knew he at least needed to know why a railroad agent was even here.

“Well…” Deacon cleared his throat. “A little birdie told me that a certain Brotherhood Knight had found some more info on the Institute, I’m supposed to watch you.”

“Watch me? Does Desdemona know stalking isn’t going to convince me to join her?”

Deacon shrugged. “I dunno man, I just work here.”

Jacob sighed heavily in frustration. Deacon was impossible, seriously.

“Anyhoodles,” Deacon continued. “I was wondering how that code was treating you, since, ya know, you said you’d give the Railroad any updates on the Institute?”

“Hey I never said that. I asked you to decode it, I gave you the chip in return. I didn’t add any promises onto it.”

“Alright, alright, my mistake. Just consider me a concerned friend, I don’t want you to be backing the wrong horse.” Deacon explained, his voice still calm and relaxed, despite the fact that Jacob was growing visibly irritated.

“I don’t even-”

“Shhh,” The agent shushed him. “Let’s just say I know what the Brotherhood is plotting for the Institute, and a lot of innocent synth deaths are gonna be on your conscience if you keep sticking with the Brotherhood.”

Jacob scoffed. “I will not just…  _ betray _ my only family because my stalker asks me nicely. The Brotherhood’s given me a lot of damn good opportunities, maybe their morals aren’t the best, but at least they’ve accepted me. All I’ve gotten from you guys is that you’re a bunch of…  _ basement dwellers.” _ The Knight continued on, absolutely pushed to his limit. “A bunch of basement dwellers with a hero complex.”

Deacon just took the hits with a relaxed smile. Once Jacob was done, he shrugged passively. “Hey man if you wanna be like that, be like that. And if you ever change your mind you know I’ll only be a call away.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and turned on his heels, walking back around the shack to the front. Deacon followed him, the knight threw angry glances at the agent from over his shoulder. Scribe Haylen stepped out of the house, thanked the family out of earshot and walked back towards Jacob. When the knight turned back to chase Deacon off, the agent was already gone. Nowhere in sight.  _ How the hell does he keep doing that? _ Haylen tapped Jacob’s shoulder with a grin.

“Hey big guy, mission accomplished.” She announced with a grin. “They said they’d give us some of their crops in exchange for basic protection.”

“That’s awesome, Haylen.” Jacob smiled slightly, still a little weirded out by his encounter with Deacon. “We should let Teagan know, then we both get paid.”

“We deserve it, it was a cold walk here.” Haylen nudged the side of Jacob’s power armor, taking the bag of supplies back to strap over her shoulder.

“Well maybe you should have worn some more layers,” Jacob teased, turning to follow her back down the road.

“Says the guy in power armor!” Haylen laughed, already turning on the radio.

Jacob knew he wasn’t supporting the right cause, even if there was no “right cause” the Brotherhood sure as hell wasn’t it. But he couldn’t just leave Haylen and Danse behind, not until he knew there was a better alternative. He couldn’t live with himself if Paladin Danse hated him. That was a reality he didn’t want. He would just wait, he would wait until he had Shaun and a better alternative, he wouldn’t get in too deep, right?

-

By the time him and Haylen made it back to the airport, it had begun to rain. Jacob had clicked on his power armor helmet and Haylen had pulled her uniform further up the nape of her neck. The water was cold, if it had gotten any colder along the way down it would have been snow by now. The rain continued to pour down, most of the scribes on the ground went into the airport, all of the working knights and initiates covered up with hoods and power armor helmets to keep dry. Haylen and Jacob walked into the occupied space of the airport, Haylen and Jacob parted ways eventually. The scribe had some business to attend to on the ground, and she wanted to make sure the tech was still functioning before handing it up to Quinlan and the Higher-clearance research scribes. This left Jacob to haul himself into the vertibird.

Water ran down the sides of the metal craft, dripping off of the frames of the open entrances. When the propeller blades began to spin they sent water droplets everywhere. It didn’t become much of a problem when the blades moved out of the way, and the vertibird lifted off of the landing pad, flying directly up towards the Prydwen. 

It parked a few minutes later, and Jacob jumped off onto the flight deck. He sighed heavily and adjusted his shoulder position in his power armor, scanning the surrounding flight deck as he walked towards the center. Someone immediately caught his eye.

It was Paladin Danse.

Jacob felt his heart shutter. He was alive, and he was here! Jacob walked towards him with a grin, already taking off his helmet.

The Paladin looked tired, the collar of his uniform was undone and the left sleeve of his suit was rolled up to make way for bandages and a sling. He was injured, but he was alive. Jacob was more than thankful for that.

“You’re back,” Jacob sighed in relief. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m quite alright. I took a hit to the arm, the impact blew me back and caused a minor fracture.” He explained. “With high-strength stimpaks I should recover in a few days or more. This is nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’m not worried if you can handle it or not, Danse. I’m just glad you’re alive. Did you get anything from Virgil?” Jacob asked, Danse nodded in reply.

“He gave me plans for a relay device in confidence that it would get back to you. I have already given it to Elder Maxson.” The Paladin said. Jacob nodded. The decision was already made, there was no going back from here. He knew Danse wouldn’t even think twice before handing major information to the Brotherhood.

“Does he need to speak with me?”

“Yes, actually. He sent me out here to wait for you, I assume he’s already called Proctor Ingram into the meeting.” Danse continued to explain, walking towards the entrance to the Prydwen’s command deck. Jacob followed close behind, mentally preparing himself for another meeting with Maxson.

When he stepped into Maxson’s command room, he saw Proctor Ingram standing next to the Elder, holding large wrinkles blueprints. She was examining them curiously, mumbling things to herself. The elder himself was looking out the window passively, deep in thought. Danse cleared his throat to announce their entrance politely, and Maxson turned to them with a serious look on his face.

“Knight Roberts, Paladin Danse has given me the information you had promised. It looks incredibly promising, but of course, I must know how you got this information. I need to know if the information is credible before I begin sinking time, resources, and scribes into this project.” The Elder explained, his voice stern and serious. “I hope you understand, of course.”

“I do, sir.” Jacob nodded in reply, “I was in a vault, I know you know that, it’s on my records,” The knight began, trying to explain as briefly as he could. “This vault kept me cryogenically frozen for 200 years, I am from before the way. Before I woke up, my son was taken from his pod, and my wife was killed. Paladin Danse has been helping me get enough information to get inside the Institute, get my son back, and destroy the entire operation.” Maxson nodded along, turning around to look out the window as he listened. Proctor Ingram looked over at Jacob briefly, still taking educated glances at the schematic in her hands. “I started by speaking with a detective in Diamond City, with his help I tracked down the assassin that worked for the Institute and killed him. We obtained his memories in Goodneighbor until we had enough information to move on. There was a scientist in the glowing sea, hiding away from the Institute. We tracked him down and worked with him until he gave us the schematics that Proctor Ingram is holding.”

Once Jacob had finished his explanation, the room remained quiet. Maxson thought deeply, trying to formulate a response and an order. Proctor Ingram cleared her throat.

“The handwriting’s a bit messy,” She admitted sheepishly. “But I can make out the plans enough. Whoever wrote them knew what they were doing.” She confirmed, looking over at Maxson for input.

“The question is, how long will it take?” Maxson asked.

“From the looks of it, and my general memory of what we have down below, we should finish it in a few days.” She explained. Elder Maxson cast her a weary glance. Ingram sighed, as if she already knew what he was going to say. “No, it won’t affect the current project.”

The elder took a deep breath and turned around to face Danse and Jacob. The two stood at attention. “You two will stay here, either on the Prydwen or on occupied territory, until you are needed. Knight Roberts,” He addressed Jacob. “You will be the one to make contact with the Institute. Paladin Danse must recover from his injuries and wait for you. When you come back, I want a full written report. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” Jacob nodded his head.

_ “Ad Victorium.” _ Maxson finished, saluting both him and Danse, who saluted back. The two were allowed to leave the room, climbing back up into the main deck of the Prydwen.

Danse stayed with Jacob as they walked through the Prydwen, passing scribes and knights on their way. The two stayed silent, Danse’s brow remained furrowed and deep in thought, which wasn’t usually a good sign. Jacob stepped out of his power armor, leaving it at his own station. He stretched with a slight grimace, he still hadn’t gotten used to the thing being worn for long amounts of time, he had no clue how Danse could wear one nearly the entire day, every day, for weeks at a time. He stooped down and checked the metal paneling of his suit, screwdriver in hand. He could feel Danse’s weary eyes on him, normally that would be a comforting feeling, but it wasn’t for some unknown reason. The feeling of Danse’s eyes on him didn’t feel safe, it felt as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. Then again, Jacob was no mind reader.

This strange feeling continued for a while, with Danse sitting in a chair near Jacob’s power armor stand and Jacob sitting on his knees, very carefully adjusting the strong bolts on the suit. The tension between them felt high, higher than usual. The knight ignored it the best he could, throwing anxious glances back at Danse. When he finished, Danse stood up from his chair and gestured for Jacob to follow him. The knight didn’t object, following Danse back towards his personal quarters. The Paladin stepped in before Jacob, propping the door open for him to step inside.

When the door was closed, Danse turned away and lightly pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“You should have objected to being sent into the Institute.” Danse said simply, already jumping right in. Jacob took immediate offense.

“Oh my god, that’s what you have an issue with?”

Danse let loose a heavy sigh and turned back to Jacob, angery. “Yes, I do. I cannot risk you getting hurt by an extremely dangerous group of people. Not to mention I trust that…  _ thing _ in the glowing sea as far as I could throw him.”

“Wow, now you’re bringing that up? You know for a fact that Virgil, he has a name by the way, is our best lead to the Institute, and he’s basically given us a direct roadmap to them.” Jacob argued back. “I can handle myself, Danse. I’m not a baby.

Danse frowned deeply and looked away in an attempt to hide his anger.

“Danse, I am a 36 year old man. I may not have been the best in the military, damn if I wasn’t awful, but I can still hold my own. I killed Kellogg without you, completely on my own. I rescued Nick Valentine on nothing but an old combat rifle and a few stimpaks. The fact that I’m even alive in the first place, against all odds, is evidence enough in my book.” He took a long, deep breath, lowering his voice. “I will not stand aside and let you do everything for me. I will rescue my son, if you do all the work for me, then I forfeit the promise I gave to Nora when she died. Do you understand?”

Danse’s gaze softened then, his shoulders slightly relaxing. The paladin reluctantly nodded. “... alright. I will trust you to handle yourself, but if you do die during all of this, just know that I… uhm,” He hesitated. “I deeply appreciate our… close friendship. If I were to lose you, I would… deeply regret it.” The paladin chose his words carefully, his tone now quiet and raw. He was no longer arguing, he was probably too tired to continue. Jacob took a deep, slow breath and nodded.

“I promise I’ll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy long chapter!! Well, long by my standards. I usually don't go over 3k, and in the original plan it was going to be longer. Consider it a reward for waiting through my multiple breaks. Well I'm actually back and stronger than ever! I'm gonna try and keep updating every 2-3 days? Maybe 4 days if I want. I don't want to push myself, so don't expect consistency.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna talk to me or see the garbage I post.


	23. December 4th, 2287 - Pt.I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day, today is the day Jacob infiltrates the Institute. He is ready to find his son, get information for the Brotherhood and secure the loyalty of a ex-brotherhood scientist. However, reality needs to get in the way. The end isn't as clear as it seemed.

It only took 2 days of waiting for the teleporter to be done. Proctor Ingram had spent most of the time on the ground, her scribes working on the Prydwen much harder in her absence. The Brotherhood was stocked up on scrap and supplies, they were in no shortage of materials, which only shortened the process by about a day. The sky was absolutely clear, there were absolutely no clouds as far as the eye could see, and the sky was colored a deep pale blue. The snow had since melted away, leaving a clear, mostly dry airport that was perfect for the project. The device itself was huge, 3 intersecting arches over a circular platform, attached to the platform were 3 almost tesla-coil looking antennas that were currently buzzing with potential electricity. The archways were lit up with bright blue energy running along the open wires on the side, ready to be released. This was the relay device, it was the thing that was going to teleport Jacob into the Institute. The device was attached by a long running wire to a console device that Ingram would use to zero in on the Institute’s location, this was attached to a relay dish that would catch the radio waves apparently used in the teleportation.

The group surrounding the device contained Elder Maxson, Jacob, Paladin Danse, Proctor Ingram, and 3 other scribes that Jacob wasn’t personally familiar with. The energy in the air was one of excitement, the entire Brotherhood had heard of the huge step forward at this point, and everyone was excited that today was the day. Today was the day they would infiltrate the Institute. Despite Jacob’s own complicated feelings on the Brotherhood, he couldn’t help but feel proud that he was in fact the one to do it. Nora would have been proud.

The only person that seemed less than thrilled about this whole thing was Danse, he had often voiced his anxieties to Jacob in private, although cherry picked. The paladin was skeptical if the device even worked, what if it just tore Jacob apart? The knight had the same fears, even if he wouldn’t admit it to Danse. 

A scribe hunches over the main console, typing something into it with relative confidence. Jacob felt prepared, he had a small bag of his things, brotherhood combat armor, and a bomber jacket to keep himself warm in case anything in the process went wrong and he was teleported to the middle of nowhere in the Commonwealth winter. All possibilities had been thought over, most of them brought to light by Danse.

“Alright Knight Roberts,” Elder Maxson addressed once he was sent a signal by Proctor Ingram. “The Relay device is ready for you.” He slid something out of his battlecoat pocket. It was a holotape that had been painted a matte dark gray. The knight took the holotape and turned it over in his fingertips rather curiously. “When you get into the Institute, I need you to find a terminal and plug this in. You will then run a command that will collect as much data as the Holotape can carry. You must do this without being caught, Proctor Quinlan wishes to study the data to learn everything we can about the Institute.”

“Yes sir, I can do that.” Jacob nodded, stooping down briefly to tuck the holotape safely into his boot. Such an important artifact shouldn’t be stuffed into his bag for someone to find it.

“I’m not done with my orders.” Maxson added on. “When you get into the Institute, I need you to find a woman named Dr. Maddison Li. She previously worked under the Brotherhood as a trusted scientist until she abandoned our cause. Despite the fact that she works with the Institute, we need her in our ranks. Convince her to rejoin us, do whatever she says within reason to convince her to agree.”

Jacob logged the name away in his head for future reference. He would look for the woman and convince her to rejoin the Brotherhood. That couldn’t be too hard, convincing her of the Institute’s wrongdoings wouldn’t be difficult.

“Of course sir,” The knight confirmed. Maxson nodded in approval.

“Alright Knight, the relay’s ready for you!” Ingram called from near the main console. Jacob nodded and fixed his pip boy, slightly tightening it before he stepped up onto the main platform. 

“The Brotherhood is counting on you, Knight. I wish you the best of luck. Do not disappoint me.” Maxson reminded, stepping back from the relay device and next to Danse.

The Relay device began to buzz and power up, blue electricity blasting down to the devices surrounding the platform below Jacob’s feet. He expected it to shock him, but it didn’t. He felt as if there was a thick force field around himself, the raw electricity only tickled. He took a long deep breath, mentally preparing for the final confrontation.

He caught himself looking back at Paladin Danse, who looked back at him with raw, unmasked worry. Jacob cast him a reassuring smile. Danse nodded slightly in response, looking down at the ground.

Before Jacob could do anything else his hearing went to static, and everything around him went a pure bright white that nearly blinded him. He felt as if he was being lifted off of the ground, suddenly weightless. And then just as quickly as it had begun, it stopped.

He had made it to the Institute.

-

The bright, blinding white finally faded away after a few minutes of Jacob straining and rapidly blinking. When his surroundings did fade into view, he was slightly disappointed. He was currently standing on a larger platform than the one in the airport, surrounded by large devices lining the walls of a circular chamber. Jacob stepped out through the doorway, looking around what looked like a rather dark control room.

The room looked clean, extremely clean. So clean it was up to pre-war standards. This did not make the room any less unsettling, the dark creeping into every corner. The only thing really lit up was a dim light down a long, wide hallway in front of the relay room. Jacob walked past the consoles and stopped at the suspiciously clean terminal, leaning down and sliding the holotape out of his boot. He clicked it into the side of the terminal and ran the program. 

It took a few minutes, but once it was finished he ejected the tape and tucked it back into his boot with a sure nod. He had one thing checked off of the checklist, now he just needed to find Dr. Maddison Li.  _ Easier said than done,  _ he thought to himself, walking out into the wide hallway towards the light. The source of the light was what looked like a white, pristine elevator, most of it lined with curved glass. Jacob tapped it curiously, looking around the area for any button he’d need to press to use the thing. Suddenly, he heard something.

“Hello,” Greeted the kind, calm voice of an old man. Despite the tone, Jacob still flinched, turning on his heel abruptly, his hand hovering over the laser rifle on his back. “Do not be alarmed.” The voice spoke up again. Jacob looked at the Intercom on the wall, presumably the source of the voice. “You have worked a great deal to find us, I suppose you deserve some… closure.” The voice admitted, their tone rather perplexed. “Step into the elevator, please. You are not in any danger here.”

Jacob looked back at the elevator cautiously. The door slid open with a soft, gentle click, a platform smoothly raising up to be level with the ground. Jacob took another deep breath and stepped on, allowing the door to close around him again.

The platform was lowered, lights shined along the circular walls to keep the elevator lit.

“You have worked very hard to find us, Jacob.” The voice continued. The fact that it knew his name only set Jacob off more. “You are looking for something, well,  _ someone _ I suppose. I must admire your resilience, someone who has lost so much and yet is so determined to find something. The humans above need more of that raw determination.”

The platform lowered and entered a huge, fully lit room. Jacob’s eyes widened at the sight. Everything was sleek and white, long balconies stuck out of huge towers with multiple windows and doorways organized in rows along the sides. Jacob could see people in jumpsuits mingling along the balconies and on the glass floor below, which hovered over a calm man-made pond of clear blue water. Jacob could see bright green patches of grass and gorgeous flower bushes lined along the pathways in the place, all a similar vibrant green to the lawns before the war. 

“Real… clean.” Jacob mumbled to himself, looking down at his surroundings in awe as the elevator slowly descended.

“It is rather clean, isn’t it. I suppose after being on the surface for so long, this is quite the blessing.” The voice agreed. Jacob flinched and looked up at the intercom in the elevator. “I apologize, I should have informed you that I could hear you. That was an oversight on my part. Do not allow it to affect your judgment on our grand establishment.”

The elevator descended below the main courtyard, and eventually stopped at a much longer and thinner hallway. This one was actually lit, thankfully. The door opened with a smooth glide to allow Jacob out of the elevator, which he obliged to.

“Please, I will be waiting for you at the end of this, I will do you no harm, despite what the surface dwellers will lead you to believe.” The voice finally said, cutting out hopefully for good.

Jacob was scared, he could admit that to himself. Everything about the Institute gave him weird vibes, the clean floors, the white… everything, even the smooth, calm voice that could hear every word he said. He was notably unnerved, but he knew he couldn’t abandon everything just because his nerves were high. He needed to find Shaun and get back to Danse, maybe he could be honest about the confusing feelings he had been experiencing. He shook his head. He needed to save that for a later date. Right now he needed to focus. He began to walk through the long hallway.

At the very end was a small elevator, he stepped inside and pressed the red button, watching it glide up a short distance into a small room.

Before he could take in any of his surroundings, he saw him. Shaun. His own baby boy. He was a bit older, he looked about 10 years old, but he had his mother’s brown eyes, he had Jacob’s hair, he was everything. The boy sat on the floor inside a room with smooth glass walls, a small screwdriver in hand. He was tinkering with something, humming to himself. Jacob walked up, fast, and touched the glass with a gloved hand.

“Shaun!” He yelled, already tearing up. The boy looked up with a flinch, immediately sinking back in panic.

“Who are you??” The boy stammered, casting his things aside to stay away from Jacob.

The knight’s heart sank down to his stomach. Of course Shaun didn’t recognize him, he had only been a few months old when he was taken. “Shaun- Shaun it’s me. You’re father.” Jacob said, stifling a sob as tears already began to run down his cheeks.

“I don’t know you!! You’re not my father! What are you even talking about?” Shaun continued, that only made Jacob want to cry harder.

“Please Shaun, it’s okay I’m here. You don’t have to pretend anymore, I’m here for you. I worked so hard to find you and I’m here- I’m here baby--” He was cut off by the boy yelling out for someone.

“Father!  _ Father! _ ” Shaun called out. Finally, the door next to the glass room slid open, and out stepped an old man in a lab coat.

“S9-23, Initialize factory reset Gamma- 7- 1- epsilon.” The man spoke clearly. It was the man from the intercom, the one that could hear him. Jacob looked back at what he thought had been Shaun.

The boy’s eyes went completely dead, his muscles going limp as he slumped down over his project. Jacob gasped in panic and glared at the old man.

_ “YOU”  _ He spat, pushing into the old man’s space. “What did you do to my boy- What happened to him??”

“It is not a him, it is an it. I’m afraid you have run into our newest synth prototype, S9-23.” The man clarified. Jacob balled his hands into fists.

“You killed my fucking boy-”

“I did not kill your son.” The man corrected, rather calmly. “Your son is closer than you might think.”

“What the  _ hell  _ is that supposed to mean.” Jacob spat, through gritted teeth.

“You see, I am your son. I am Shaun. Those in the Institute call me Father.” The man explained. Jacob went silent.

“You’re... Shaun?”

“Yes, I am your son.”

“How… I- What…?”

“I was taken from you in the Vault. At first you believed it had only been a few days, then, after you had seen Conrad Kellogg’s memories, you believed it had only been 10. Now, it is really that hard to believe that it had actually been 60 years all along?”

“I don’t understand…” Jacob mumbled, stepping back. His heart was racing, he could still focus on Shaun’s words but… it was proving more difficult by the second. The man looked at Jacob with no remorse in his eyes.

“I suppose this is quite a difficult reality to believe,” He admitted. “I will call a Courser to take you to your quarters, we can speak more on a later date.” Shaun decided, turning away from Jacob. Just before he began walking away, he stopped and turned back. “Unless of course you wish to go back to the surface, back to the chaos and pain and torment, I will not stop you.”

Jacob looked Shaun in the eyes. This old man had his mother’s eyes, but they weren’t filled with joy, they weren’t filled with the love and happiness he knew so well. He wanted to say no, he wanted to punch this disgusting creep for even claiming to be his boy, but he had to finish the Brotherhood’s job, he had to make this story clearer for himself. 

“... alright.” Jacob said softly, nodding slightly. “I’ll stay.”

Shaun smiled the most unnerving smile Jacob had ever seen, stepping out of the room to call a courser in to escort him.

Jacob didn’t pay attention to anything after that, the courser led him to his room in the tower next to Shaun’s, and by the time he was alone in his room he still couldn’t focus. It all came crashing down onto him finally when he looked out the window at the bustling floor below. His son was the leader of the Institute, or at least a key part of it. He was evil, Jacob had failed. In order to do the right thing, he had to kill his son. No matter what side he was on, he’d have to kill the one person he had been searching for this entire time. He turned away from the window and rushed to the bathroom to throw up.

No matter what way he spun it in his head, his own flesh and blood always came out as the villain. He had failed as a father, he had failed Nora, and in order to do the right thing he would have to break his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, Father reveal! We're on the home stretch, kids. I might actually finish this fanfic. Anyway, leave a kudos and comment if you like the chapter, I am working extremely hard on this fic, and I hope it's at least a fun read.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna talk to me or look at my awful posts.


	24. December 4th, 2287 - Pt.II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob speaks with Doctor Madison Li about her rejoining the Brotherhood, talks to what he thinks is his son, and gets a major step closer to finally getting out of here. The question is, will he really be able to move on even after all of this?

Jacob could still taste the throw up on his breath even after washing it down with clean water, the first real clean water he’d had in over a month. This wasn’t purified water, it was real tap water, it tasted just like it did before the war. If the circumstances weren’t so drastic, he’d have been focusing much more on the tap water. He had set most of his weapons and things next to the soft bed in the room off to the side, already preparing to meet the rest of the Institute scientists. The door slid open, still quiet and smooth as ever, and Jacob stepped out into the hallway.

His dark, muddied boots held a high contrast to the pure white floor under them, which was so polished he could see the dim shadows of his face being reflected back at him. The image was cloudy, but incredibly impressive. He walked down a smooth ramp with a yellow pipe railing. In the center of the spiral ramp sat a gorgeous green tree that seemed to be permanently set in the iconic spring green Jacob had seen in magazines. The kind of green someone only dreamed of. None of the leaves had fallen, or they were constantly being swept away. In fact, he was coming across someone diligently polishing the pristine white floors just a little ways away from the bottom of the ramp. They were wearing a white and orange jumpsuit with multiple numbers written on their back. It was a synth. 

Jacob couldn’t help but stare. They looked so… human. It wasn’t in an unnerving sense, it was just difficult to convince his brain that this wasn’t a person.  _ That was a synthetic human made to polish the floors.  _ The thought didn’t sit right with him, admittedly. It sounded like a loophole through slavery. Jacob would have said something, but he had a job to do. He had to get Dr. Li to agree to Maxson’s offer and then he could leave. He didn’t want to stay here any longer than he had to, so he continued on.

Searching for Dr. Li proved difficult, but there was no way she was very far away, she was a highly respected Institute scientist, she had to be with the others. He ended up passing through Engineering and SRB, apparently 2 very important wings of the Institute. SRB, as it was explained to him, stood for the  Synth Retention Bureau. They were in charge of making and organizing Coursers, and bringing runaway synths back to the Institute. The head had been hostile with him, but thankfully brief, so Jacob could get out fast. Engineering was the group that came up with tech ideas, and apparently they had been the ones to begin the idea of Synths in the first place over 200 years ago. The topics discussed were interesting, and the head of engineering was cheerful, but he still felt wrong even speaking with these people. Especially if his own flesh and blood was at the helm.

When he stepped into the Advanced Systems wing, he was already mentally prepared to have his ear talked off about the magic of technology. He scanned the room, in a test chamber a across the room there were two scientists in lab coats and safety goggles firing blue lasers at a target, talking amongst themselves.

“Yeah, Li has been in her office for days. Almost like she’s been avoiding something.” One of the scientists said, her voice was slightly muffled behind the glass.

“Eh, give her a break. She’s probably just tired.” The other shrugged. Jacob looked back at the office they were walking about. There were no windows, just a sliding door and a sign that read _ ‘Dr. Madison Li’.  _ Bingo. Jacob knocked slightly on the door, which slid open reluctantly and allowed him to step inside.

“What on earth do you want- Oh. You.” She turned in her swivel chair and sighed heavily. The woman had her black and gray hair carefully tied up in a style he recognized from before the war. She wore a blue and white lab coat that went down to her knees, and she was currently sending Jacob an accusatory glare. “No, I will not rejoin the brotherhood.”

“I didn’t even ask you!” Jacob objected.

“Please, you show up clad in only Brotherhood gear, including a branded bag, and you expect me not to  _ immediately  _ jump to that? Glad to know the Brotherhood is still filled with buffoons.” Li scoffed and turned her swivel chair back to face her desk.

“Come on, there has to be something I can do to get you to reconsider.” Jacob continued, pulling up a chair to sit in front of Li’s desk. She ignored him, sorting through papers and averting eye contact. 

“Whatever Lyons told you to tell me, throw it in the garbage.”

“Who?”

That caught Li’s attention. She looked up in slight confusion. “What do you mean  _ who? _ He has been the Elder of the Brotherhood for decades?”

Jacob blinked. “Oh- uh, well,” He paused. “He’s probably dead. I was given orders by Elder Maxson.” This only increased her morbid interest.

“... They made a child the Elder?”

“I mean I wouldn’t say child,” Jacob sighed. “He’s really good at it.”

“Mhm.” Li shrugged and looked back down at what she was currently working on.

“Please, Doctor. I’ll do anything, just please reconsider.”

She looked as if she was about to decline, until something in her eyes lit up. She hesitated, looking around for anything that would be recording her, then she looked back at Jacob.

“If you really must be… persistent. I had a close friend named Dr.Brian Virgil. He was a genius in Bioscience, and one day he died. I’ve asked around, and no one seems to know, or even remember who he is. I need you to go into his old lab in the Bioscience division and find any evidence that he’s dead, any proof. I just want closure.” Jacob thought about the offer for a moment. He knew Virgil was alive, he knew that for a fact. But he would need to go to his office anyway, he might as well just kill two birds with one stone. A scientist wouldn’t be convinced on his word alone anyway.

“Alright, I’ll do that for you.”

Then, they began to plan.

Jacob would head out towards Bioscience late at night. He could crack the lock easily, and Li had planned on turning off the majority of security in that sector. The only things he’d have to worry about were a few stray turrets and some ancient security systems that she couldn’t access, like robots. Jacob thought it would be easy, he had the supplies and the time, then he’d finally be able to leave all of this behind.

The plan was made. He’d be out of the Institute by tomorrow.

-

Jacob could see Shaun through the glass, sitting with perfect posture in a clean white chair, a cup of tea carefully held between his fingers by the handle. The knight gulped and stepped through the glass doorway and onto the highest balcony where Shaun was currently sitting. The Institute leader looked up briefly from his tea, those eerily familiar brown eyes staring into Jacob's soul. They still looked empty and tired, nothing he could recognize as his son's eyes. Shaun leaned over and set his cup of tea on the small table just next to him.

"Father, it is lovely to see you." He greeted in his eerily smooth and calm voice. "Please, sit down. You may pull up a chair."

Jacob did so, pulling up a smaller, white and blue chair across the small table from Shaun. He sat down and awkwardly looked over at his son. It felt strange to look at an old man and call him Shaun.

"I suppose you have questions," Shaun began, his expression masked with a veil of concern.

"I mean… yeah. I do have questions. My own son is twice as old as me." Jacob admitted. He couldn't tell if he was trying to lighten the mood or admit the truth, and Shaun clearly didn't know either, as he forced a rather dry chuckle.

"You may ask away. I will not judge you."

"How long have you been here? You know, in the Institute." Jacob decided. If he was going to make a decision on the Institute, he might as well learn about it. And he wanted to learn as much about his son as he could before he had to… do the deed.

"I've been here all of my life, father. They took me when I was an infant, and I was raised by multiple scientists."

Jacob grew more uncomfortable. A bunch of Institute scientists had his baby and he had been asleep the entire time. "Why did they even take you? No one's told me that."

"If you must know, it was done for the betterment of humanity," Shaun began, after a brief and thought-filled pause. "The Institute had been trying to perfect the Synth for decades after the bombs, and one day they realized they could not continue without dna from a real, living human."

"Why couldn't they just have used their own dna…?"

"This is because the Commonwealth has been tainted, everything is diseased with radiation and illness, even the scientists here are not pure. No living thing would have reliable DNA to build off of. At least…"

"... except for you." Jacob finished, dread and realization pooling in his gut. They saw his son as an experiment, and then turned him into this semi-cult leader.

"Yes, I'm afraid. They found Vault 111 and quickly discovered a source of human dna, completely frozen and untouched by the dangers of radiation. They sent Kellogg to find me, and I suppose you know the rest of the story from your point of view." Jacob nodded slightly. "I was taken here, and they used my DNA to create the synths you see all around you, on the surface and down below here. That is why they call me Father."

"Are they directly related to you…?"

"No. At this point, no. My DNA was used as a base from the beginning. But the further along we got, the more we understood and altered the DNA to make more varied synths. That's why synths can look so different from one another." Shaun explained. "They are not related to me, but they call me Father because if it were not for me, we would not even know how to create them."

"I see…" Jacob nodded to himself. "I should go. Thank you for explaining, Shaun. Maybe I can finally find some closure."

Jacob stood up and said goodbye to Shaun, then walked back into the tower that the balcony was attached to. He nearly bumped into a small synth child. It was Shaun, well, the fake one. Those big brown eyes looked up at Jacob with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry mister, I didn't mean to spy." The synth sighed heavily.

"It's okay, kid. I'm not mad. Do you need something?"

The child blinked and looked at Jacob hopefully. "Oh! Yes actually! You see… I like to tinker. And uh… Father doesn't always like it when I dig through the trash for spare parts. Do you have anything I can use from the surface?"

Jacob was a bit taken aback by the request, it wasn't bad, definitely, but it wasn't what he had expected. Synths were surprisingly accurate, especially this child that was supposed to be his son. Jacob sighed heavily.

"Sorry, I didn't bring any with me for the trip… but if I find any around, I promise to give it to you."

Shaun- the synth, grinned in glee. "Thank you sir!" He yelled in excitement, starting to bound down the halls. A synth mopping the floors down the hallway gave him a concerned look as he passed, but the synth kept going. Jacob couldn't help but watch. He looked so much like his boy, he just wished he was real, and that he could go home with him and this would all be over. Maybe Danse would have helped him raise Shaun.

Jacob shook the thought out of his head and began walking back to his quarters. He couldn't keep thinking about Danse, he needed to keep a level head and get out of here as quickly as possible.

-

The night came at a specific time, around 8 pm. A warning given by a kind-sounding woman was sent out over the intercom, and the lights began to dim as scientists began to finish up their work and walk to their own homes on the higher levels. At 10 pm, Jacob was the only one still awake. He sat, strapping his boots on tighter and putting on Brotherhood armor in preparation for the trip through the abandoned parts of the Bioscience division. Dr. Li had told him that the division was labeled in bright green, he knew he wouldn’t be able to miss it. He tightened his bag around his shoulders in determined concentration, focused on getting back into the familiar mindspace he had gone into when searching for Kellogg or rescuing Detective Valentine. He only had two things on his mind, evidence of Virgil’s disappearance, and the super mutant cure. He fastened the leather around his gloves and took a long deep breath. He had his gun on his back with his bag, he was ready for anything. 

Jacob let the door to his room silently slide open, he was already stepping carefully across the polished white floor and down the ramp. The surroundings were rather dark, but lit up by dim blue lights along the edge of the floors. It was eerie, almost uncomfortable, but Jacob walked around the giant circular chamber, making sure to avoid anyone still out and about. Thankfully, not even a synth was out polishing the floors. He passed around the glass center of the room that hung above the water. The waterfalls made the perfect ambience that would have been soothing if Jacob wasn’t so uncomfortable in his surroundings. The water glowed a dim blue, lighting the big green trees from below with unnatural blue light. He turned his attention away and stepped into the Bioscience division of the Institute, labeled with a huge green sign as Maddison had told him.

He didn’t pay attention to the actual lab, instead he turned off into a series of storage rooms until he was at the final one, in front of a dark gray door hidden by shelves of testing supplies and carefully labeled vats of chemicals. He stooped down and pulled a bobby pin from the side pocket of his bag, he easily popped the door open, god bless his natural lock picking skills, and the door slid open. It wasn’t as smooth of an opening as the other doors around the Institute. Instead, the opening was rather rigid and gradual. As Jacob stepped inside, the differences were jarring.

The hallway he had stepped into was dark, the floors were a deep dark gray, and the walls were a slightly lighter gray with a thin red stripe along the edge of the ceiling. It almost reminded him of the Prydwen,  _ almost.  _ He took a deep breath and took the gun off his back. He switched off the safety and scanned the hallway ahead. Nothing looked particularly dangerous, Li had told him that she would turn off most of the controllable security, but he knew that wouldn’t be everything. 

He walked down the dark hallway and up a long flight of stairs. As the floor leveled, he started to pass by multiple dusty windows splattered with blood. He looked through the windows and saw… dead cat bodies. He quickly looked away, he could feel potential puke churning in his gut. He didn’t care if those were synths or not! Those were the dead bodies of cats! He shook his head and looked at the floor to try and snap out of it, to just keep himself from throwing up a second time in the same day. 

He only slightly calmed himself before continuing on, he stepped over pools of what he now knew was cat blood, keeping a close eye out for anything that would jump out at him. He left the horrifying hallway and into a slightly larger room. He was shaken from his false sense of security when a turret clicked on from a doorway and started shooting at him. He jumped down to duck behind an old desk, taking a moment to catch his breath as the turret rained all hell down onto the metal desk. When it stopped, Jacob aimed carefully with his laser rifle and shot at it on exhale. The thing wasn’t going down easy. 

It began to whirr and smoke until finally the thing exploded, sending shrapnel flying out in every direction. Jacob leaned back against the desk and took a breath.

The turret itself was separated from the Institute systems, clearly set up by someone else. Someone who was trying to keep something secret. Jacob finally got up and went to carefully poke through the smoking remains of the turret. It was surprisingly powerful, definitely something that could take down a scientist or a synth. Jacob reloaded his weapon and continued on through the second hall.

That turret seemed to be the only bit of real danger, besides the thick and heavy dust in the air. Jacob stepped into a room that was glowing a bright green, and was horrified by what he saw.

The room was circular. In the center sat 3 tubes with the bodies of huge super mutants in suspended animation. Their muscles were grotesque and green, their skin stretched over their bodies from the unnatural growth from human to horror. There was a desk on the side of the room with a blank terminal on top of it, still collecting dust. Next to the terminal sat an old Holotape labeled _ ‘Brian Virgil’s final resignation’ _ . Bingo. He slid it into the terminal on the desk and turned the thing on, allowing it to play.

“This is Brian Virgil, Bioscience division.” The holotape began. The voice was vaguely recognizable, however it was much smoother and higher-pitch than the super mutant he knew in the glowing sea, that just made sense. “I’m recording this holotape as my… final resignation notice. I cannot continue to tolerate the actions my superiors have condoned, it is against my own good faith, even in the name of science.” His voice was solemn and sad, almost as if just saying and admitting this outloud hurt him. “They brought in a woman just a few weeks ago, she was so scared and alone. She looked only 20, and they made me inject her with the infection. She’s been staring into the back of my head from the tube behind me, and I can’t handle the guilt that has brought down on my soul. I can still feel her staring, even now. Father is an evil, evil man, and I can’t keep doing this anymore.” Jacob turned to look at the suspended super mutant just behind the desk in discomfort. “I am leaving for the glowing sea, where the Institute will not bother to look for me. They won’t waste the resources on getting their hands dirty. Again, this is Brian Virgil signing off for the last time.” The holotape ended with a dull click, filling the room with silence. Jacob took the holotape out of the terminal and put it in his bag. 

He was ready to leave already, but he needed the cure. Despite how much he wanted to ditch this operation and go home, he had made a promise to Virgil, Brotherhood be damned. He found a machine filled with liquid and dispensed it into a vial. Virgil had been kind enough to label it, thankfully, so Jacob knew this was the cure he needed. He carefully slid it into his bag and practically sped through the door. He needed to get out and back to his room, he could leave tomorrow and be free of this Institute bullshit for at least another few days. He could see Danse, he could keep doing odd jobs for the Brotherhood, he wouldn’t have to worry about all of this anymore. 

Maybe that false sense of safety is what kept Jacob going back to his room. He knew he’d be back on the Prydwen by the next day, Li would be on their side, and he’d be able to start moving on. 

He just hoped this was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is long and a bit messy! I hope it was worth the wait though, I have serious plans for the next few chapters. I'm being serious when I say we're almost done. It's kinda nerve wracking just how close I am to being finished with this fucking thing. I might treat myself to some Half Life fanfic once this thing is done, sweet lord.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna talk to me about this fic or see what I have to say. I like to think I'm an entertaining person.


	25. December 5th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob spends his final day in the Institute, he makes a connection with a specific Synth and finally decides how he feels about Father. The second he's back on the Prydwen, he goes directly to Danse's quarters, he can't think of anywhere else to go.

The night had gone by slow, the Knight had only gotten a small amount of sleep in, but if he wanted to leave the Institute by that night he’d have to get up early. Jacob felt sick to his stomach as he walked through the clean white hallways of the Institute. A cleanliness that had once comforted him now deeply disturbed him. Synths had worked down to the bone to keep the floors polished, even if it was his son in charge, he couldn’t hold a blind eye to the horrific actions of the Institute. He needed to finish up, go back to the Brotherhood, and let them finish the job painlessly. Jacob stepped into Madison Li’s office with the holotape in his pocket, already ready to go. He was greeted with a frustrated groan, almost accompanied with an eye roll until Li actually noticed it was him. She leaned back in her chair and looked at him expectantly. 

“You.” She glared at him.

“Me.” Jacob replied, his voice tired and worn. He took the holotape out and set it down on the metal desk. “You aren’t gonna like it, but I did what you asked. Just please, consider Elder Maxson’s offer. I don’t know what he’s planning, but we need you.”

The doctor picked up the holotape and clicked it into place in her terminal. It played, the familiar distressed voice coming on over the tiny terminal speakers. As the message played, Li’s heart sunk. You could see it in her expression. Waves of sadness and betrayal washed over her face. When the holotape finished, the office was left in pure silence. Jacob watched Li take the holotape out and stuff it in her pocket, she stood up from her chair quickly and scowled.

“Those bastards- Those bastards they  _ lied to me _ .” She spat, pacing to the wall in pure anger. “They said he’d died. They said he was gone. But he just left?” Jacob reached out to touch her shoulder, maybe reassure her or something. She smacked his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” Jacob nodded and moved his hand away.

After a moment of silence, Li balled her hands into tight fists. “Alright. I will leave for the airport today. Don’t make me regret this.”

“You won’t.” Jacob assured, a wave of relief washing over him. He had done everything the Brotherhood wanted of him, he could finally go home and be done with this shit. He left Li alone in her office and stepped out into the main Institute courtyard. He walked towards the patches of perfectly cut grass in a strange daze. 

He watched the water a few feet away from him. He still couldn’t believe where he was, it had only been a month, really. Just over 2 months since Shaun was born, and now he was over 60 and the leader of a fucked up science cult. Where had he gone wrong? Was this somehow his fault? Did all of this somehow link up to him being a bad father? It had been too fast, he’s already lost his baby. A million apologies wouldn’t get Nora’s corpse to forgive him. 

Jacob was shaken out of his thoughts by a small hand tugging on his sleeve. It was Synth Shaun, looking at Jacob excitedly. The sight of the boy really shouldn’t have cheered him up, not even a little bit, but nevertheless it did. Just the sight of him smiling made him feel just a little bit luckier, even if he wasn’t sure if the smile was just made to manipulate him.

“Mister Roberts?” Shaun asked.

“How do you know my name…?” Jacob replied softly, his voice still clearly exhausted.

“Father told me.” Of course. “Well, anyway… I’m sorry if I’m being a bother but do you have any scrap for me to tinker with? I bet you’ll be going soon.”

Jacob thought for a moment, he wanted to just deny him, but he probably had some spare scrap in his bag, and it would hurt to lose just one thing for something that’s gonna be destroyed down the line. Jacob felt sick when the previous thought crossed his mind, he really shouldn’t be thinking about that.

But he sighed and nodded. “Come on, let’s see if there’s anything I can spare in my bag,” He stood up from his seat and started walking to his room. Synth Shaun followed excitedly at his heel. “You know, nothing that’ll burn your fingerprints off.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I’m not going to give you anything you’re going to hurt yourself with.” Jacob affirmed, walking up the ramp a little slower so Shaun could keep up.

“Huh,” The boy seemed surprised. “I just thought outsiders shot things. I didn’t think you’d care about my safety.”

Jacob chuckled. “Of course I care about your safety, I’m not an animal. I might be a little different to the people up there, but a good majority care about safety, maybe not as much as before the war.” He opened the door to his room and let Shaun inside. The boy stepped inside and looked at Jacob’s few things scattered around.

“Oooh is that a laser gun?” Shaun reached out for it, but Jacob grabbed it before he could get his hands on it.

“Yeah, and it’s too dangerous for you to just go messing with. You’re not old enough. I’ll teach you about that when you’re-” He caught himself and cleared his throat. “Nevermind.” This synth wasn’t his kid, he didn’t have any parental control over him. It didn’t matter how much he  _ looked  _ like Shaun. The kid nodded and put his hands in his jumpsuit pockets to keep them from grabbing at things.

Jacob sighed and set his rifle down, leaning against the bed. He grabbed his bag and started digging through it. Most of the things he had were bullets and stimpaks, nothing he could just hand to a kid. A small part of him missed the time where everything was child-proofed. He finally found something he knew would be safe. It was an old silver pocket watch, the hands had stopped ticking hundreds of years ago. He barely remembered where he had even originally found it, just that it was at the very bottom of his bag. Shaun looked at the thing in his hands curiously.

“Can I have that?”

Jacob thought for a moment, turning it over in his hand. It wasn’t too rusted, there weren’t many bent out sharp edges for Shaun to cut himself on, and he looked about 10 or 12, he could handle himself when it came to handling slightly sharp tools. Then again, Jacob didn’t know much about 12 year olds. 

“Alright, yeah.” Jacob decided, handing Shaun the old pocket watch. “Be careful though, I don’t know what kinda Commonwealth gunk got on it.” Shaun took it and grinned, quickly stuffing the thing in his pocket.

“I’m gonna fix it up and polish it, it’ll tell the time when I’m done with it! I’m great at fixing things.” He boasted, practically bouncing on his heels in excitement.

“You are?”

“Yeah! One time I fixed a radio and tuned it to this Diamond City Radio, it was awesome! But uh…” His expression sank rapidly. “Father took it away. He said it wasn’t good to listen to it.”

Jacob sighed softly. “I’m sorry, if I could help I would. But I’m real busy up on the surface.”

“You promise to visit, then?”

Jacob knew he couldn’t, that was why he hesitated. Lying to Danse was enough of a problem, now lying to a child? But he really couldn’t say no to him. Jacob nodded. “Yeah, I promise.” He said softly. The tight hug synth Shaun gave him almost dampened the guilt. 

This kid, the one so similar to what he thought his son would be, was going to die. He was going to die with his real son, the old bastard that kept this synth as prisoner. The thought made Jacob hold synth Shaun a bit tighter, holding onto the last few memories he knew he’d ever have with something even slightly resembling his son. 

-

After meeting one last person, who was the head of the Bioscience division, he was already ready to leave. His bag was packed, Madison Li had even installed relay codes into his Pip-Boy, which meant he could go in and out of the Institute at will. He wasn’t planning on using it, but at least Maxson would be appeased. He had stayed a little longer than anticipated, those last few moments of hesitation only now hitting him. He had gone to synth Shaun’s closed off room to give him one final goodbye, even if he wouldn’t admit the circumstances to the child. As he stepped out of the room, he ran into the piercing eyes of Father, or Shaun.

“Hello,” Father said rather cheerfully. He noticed Jacob’s bags and frowned slightly. “I see, well, if you wish to leave I will not argue.”

“Well I wasn’t gonna ask permission,” Jacob mumbled. “I have friends and business up on the surface. I can’t stay here forever.”

“I am aware of your alliance with the Brotherhood of Steel, no matter how much I disapprove of it.” He added the last bit with the slightest hint of malice. This quickly disappeared from his tone. “But, I wanted to know if you would like some tea, just… right before you go.” He offered.

Jacob sighed softly. Whether he liked it or not, this was his son. Refusing to at least speak with him would be disrespectful to Nora’s spirit, and his own ability as a father. “Alright, I’ll have some tea before I go.” Shaun smiled happily and walked away to grab some tea, just after pulling up a chair for Jacob to sit in. He obliged, trying to get comfortable in the cushiony seat.

Father came back with a tray of tea carefully balanced in his slightly shaky hands. Jacob offered to help, getting up again to take the tray from him. It felt strange to help his son with that… the realization hitting Jacob  _ again  _ over just how old Shaun was now.

“As I said, I grew up in the Institute, raised by the Institute.” Father began, sitting down in the chair across from Jacob. They had set the tea on a small coffee table in between them. “I had often wondered what my parents had been like, I’m sure you can assume.” Jacob nodded as he listened, trying to sip the rather bland tea he had been given. “I had forgotten this, when I had begun my life's work with the Institute, it became my passion, my drive in life. However, I’m getting very old, very old indeed. I found out your vital signs were still working, I decided to just… let you out.”

“Why not sooner?” Jacob asked softly, genuinely curious.

“You just hadn’t crossed my mind until now, I guess I just wanted to see what happened. Would you try and find me? Or would you die.”

Jacob’s heart sunk down to his stomach, maybe down to his toes. He could  _ feel  _ himself grow somehow paler. He was a sick experiment to someone he was supposed to call his son. Shaun quickly noticed his anger and shock wash over him, as he frowned deeply.

“I apologize if this upsets you, father.”

“Upsets me? Of course it upsets me, Shaun.” Jacob couldn’t help but angrily hiss. “In my head you were born like… what, 2 months ago?”

“Father is is really that hard to believe that it’s been over 60 years and-”

“Yes! Yes it is hard for me to believe! I woke up a month ago, I trudged through weeks of dust and mud, slept through snow storms, got  _ mauled by a Deathclaw,  _ do you even know what a deathclaw is??” Jacob put his tea down and stood up. “And I finally find you, after being shot in the face and stopped at  _ every single turn _ , and this is how I’m repaid? Just-- I-” Jacob bit on the inside of his cheek and balled his hands into fists. He was so… angry. So unbelievably angry. This wasn’t his fucking son. Shaun didn’t seem put off by his anger, he just took the beating. That only pissed Jacob off more. How  _ dare  _ his son not have even a lick of sympathy for him! If he had raised him it would have been different, if he could get ahold of those bastard scientists that raised this monster he would  _ wring their fucking necks- _

“Father,” Shaun touched his shoulder to calm him. Jacob slightly relaxed, relaxing his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“...” He hadn’t expected Shaun to apologize.

“I’m sorry you…  _ feel that way _ .” There it is. Jacob sighed deeply and shut his eyes.

“I’m sorry for lashing out. I’m going to go, okay? I just… I need some more time, alright?” Jacob said softly. He fully intended to never come back, and if he ever did, it’d be to stomp this place and all the bastards that controlled it out of existence. 

“I understand.” Shaun nodded. “I do hope you will come back.”

Jacob pulled away, half heartedly waving goodbye as he typed in the coordinates to the Boston Airport into his Pip-Boy. After a few moments of awkward silence, the familiar warmth, light feeling of the relay washed over him, and his vision went completely white.

-

When the airport came back into his vision, he began to breath heavily. His vision grew less cloudy as he started sprinting through what felt like rain towards the bright lights ahead. He pushed past armored Knights keeping watch, quickly climbing up into the Vertibird in the center. As he felt the craft lift off, he gripped onto the arms of the chair, the seat belt digging into his shoulder. He couldn’t breath, he could hear his heartbeat over the loud sounds of the propellor blades. He gripped the chair a bit tighter the more panicked he got, and when the Vertibird parked he had to tear his arms off with an effort. He scrambled off the thing and ran past scribes on the flight deck, ignoring anyone trying to get his attention as he climbed the stairs into the command center, then the ladder up into the main deck. By the time he was at the door to Danse’s quarters, he needed to take a moment to catch his breath before knocking on the door with a trembling hand. The paladin answered, flinching in surprise when he saw Jacob in his condition. 

“Knight Roberts I- come in!” he insisted, rather surprised, but trying to at least hide it. He helped him in through the door, locking it behind them both, he went to help Jacob sit down on the bed. “Please calm down, Jacob, look at me.” He tried to speak calm, as if he knew what he was doing. Jacob tried to take deep breaths, gripping the thin sheets below in his gloved hands. The uniform around him was so compressive, he needed it  _ off,  _ but he wasn’t going to just strip with Danse in the room, even if he was currently having a panic attack.

Danse seemed just as confused on what to do, his eyes widened slightly in panic. He just grabbed Jacob’s arm, starting to undo the tight, restrictive armor. Jacob started to calm down, trying to take long, deep breaths, and focus on the fact that he was finally out of there. He was free from the Institute, and he wouldn’t have to go back. By the time his heart had begun to normalize, all of his bags and weapons were set aside, and Danse was sitting next to him on the bed.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” The Paladin asked. Jacob mumbled and shrugged a response. “That doesn’t answer my question, Knight.”

“... I don’t know, a lot happened.” Jacob said softly.

“It’s been two days,” Danse answered. “I can guess a lot happened.” 

Jacob nodded and sighed heavily. “I made it to the Institute, I-” He frowned deeply, tears appearing on the edges of his eyes. “My son he’s-”

“-no longer with us?” Danse finished in a soft tone. Jacob shook his head no.

“He’s the leader of the Institute. Danse, my son is the leader of the Institute-” His voice caught in his throat as he said it out loud, the realization hitting him hard all over again. Danse touched Jacob’s hand, he accepted it. Their fingers intertwined and Jacob began to cry. “Danse I’m a failure of a dad- I didn’t-” He held onto Danse’s hand and tried to keep any pitiful noises from escaping.

“None of that is your fault, you didn’t ask for any of this.” Danse said softly, lightly squeezing Jacob’s hand.

“I  _ know  _ none of this is my fault… just why is it happening? What did I do…” Jacob wiped his tears and softly sobbed, Danse ran his thumb over Jacob’s knuckles to try and sooth him. He was obviously confused on how the hell to calm someone with physical affection, but Jacob was too scared to notice.

“So your son is the leader of the Institute.” Danse clarified. Jacob nodded in response. “... Do you know what you have to do?” Jacob nodded again.

“He may be my son-” He sniffled and squeezed Danse’s hand back. “But he’s an evil man. I couldn’t do anything to change him if I tried. I have to kill him… along with the rest of the Institute.”

“I’m sorry if that’s difficult, I’ve been in your situation before. Killing family for the greater good is something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.” Danse said. Jacob didn’t seem reassured by that, as he started to cry again. “I uh- well.” The paladin quickly went to clarify his statement. “It’s better to think about it this way… how many people are going to die, or be hurt if you allow your son to continue doing what he is doing?”

“...lots.” Jacob mumbled.

“It’s for the greater good, Jacob. Not just good soldiers, but good  _ people,  _ have to make tough decisions like this for the lives of others.”

“I wish it was easier.”

“I do too.” Danse sighed softly. Jacob scooted closer to him just to lean against him. Danse froze up briefly, but accepted the gesture after a few moments. Danse was finally, truly all he had. His son was long gone, there was no happy ending in sight. 

If anything happened to Danse, he didn’t know what he’d do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honey, you've got a big storm comin' ;)
> 
> my tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage


	26. December 7th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob continues his life with the Brotherhood, and learns about the project called Liberty Reprimed. He convinces Doctor Li to actually work with them, and everything fine until something goes bump in the night. There's something going down on the Flight Deck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter after the fact. If you notice it's longer, no, you're not crazy.

The next day had gone by fast, even if Jacob was spaced out for the majority of it. It wouldn’t be freedom once he got back, as he was so convinced it would be when he was still trapped underground. He had delivered the gray holotape to Proctor Quinlan, and given Elder Maxson a full report on the two days he spent in the Institute. Jacob had never given a report, Paladin Danse had offered to help him, but the Knight figured it out after a long night trying to painfully remember the horrific cleanliness of the place. The report included heavy descriptions of the surroundings, the vague layout of the place, and the 3 other heads of the separate Institute wings, other than Doctor Li. Jacob chose to leave out certain parts of his time there, including all of his encounters with Synth Shaun, the serum for Virgil, and his personal conversations with Father. Maxson didn’t need to know those things, and honestly Jacob still couldn’t fully grasp them himself. Madison Li had shown up the day previous, and once she had spoken to Maxson a single time, she was already giving him the silent treatment, stubbornly pacing back and forth in the research portion of the Prydwen with no intent to speak with Maxson anymore.

The incident the previous night had been addressed the next morning, Danse stood in the doorway of his quarters and looked at the Knight pensively. He wished to discuss the report Jacob had given to Elder Maxson, the Knight had left out some major points Danse wished to address. Danse looked visibly uncomfortable, he didn’t want to bring up personal business on his own accord, especially when it was such an unpleasant topic for Jacob.

“Knight Roberts,” Danse began, choosing his words rather carefully. “I need to speak with you about the report you gave to Elder Maxson.”

“You were listening?” Jacob sighed heavily and leaned against the wall. “I think I did fine, Danse. The fact that you were eavesdropping is another problem.”

“You are cherry picking the issue,” Danse glared at him. “I am merely concerned, you should have addressed your relation to the Institute’s organiser.”

Jacob’s expression soured. “That’s my business Danse, I don’t need to advertise it everywhere.” His voice lowered and he looked away. “We should have talked about this in private.”

“You’re correct,” Danse sighed and stepped back from the doorway to his quarters and inside the room. “I apologize, I should have assumed you wouldn’t want to talk about it in public.” Jacob nodded slightly and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

“I don’t want to be coddled, Danse. I’ve told you this before.” Jacob began, Danse chose not to reply. “If I tell Elder Maxson about my son, I’m going to be pushed away from taking care of the Institute like I’m 5, I’m not a child that needs to be protected. If I don’t take down the Institute, I’m gonna have to live with that guilt, you get that right?”

“I understand, Knight.” Danse nodded slightly.

“Hey, I get you’re paranoid about my ability to continue fighting.” Jacob sighed softly and took Danse’s hand again. The Paladin tensed in surprise, he looked at Jacob’s hand on his as their fingers intertwined.

“I-” Danse stammered.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” 

The Paladin nodded again and held his hand back hesitantly. “I still choose to apologize, I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, and I shouldn’t have assumed you’d tell Elder Maxson everything that happened.”

“And I forgive you, okay?” Jacob squeezed the Paladin’s hand. Danse nodded slightly and relaxed, rather hesitant.

-

Later in the day, Jacob was down below on the airport, walking behind Elder Maxson and Proctor Ingram. They had asked him to follow them, they needed to brief him on their plan to destroy the Institute for good. Danse followed, trudging along in his power armor right next to Jacob. 

“Knight Roberts, since you are the only one with inside knowledge on the Institute, I have decided you are cleared to learn about Operation: Liberty Reprimed.” Elder Maxson explained, not even glancing at Jacob over his shoulder, he just expected him to listen. “This is a closely guarded secret, use that wisely. Paladin Danse is aware of this plan, I do not need to inform him of anything he does not already know.”

“Yeah, this plan is gonna get the Institute right where it hurts, I’m excited.” Ingram grinned as the group stopped at a simple garage door on the far end of the airport. Proctor Ingram pressed a button on the wall to reveal the room behind.

In the room were multiple tables laid out in a semi circle, it looked like there were about 5 scribes and 5 mechanics all examining the bits and pieces of what looked like a giant robot. Jacob stepped in with the group, and he was allowed to the front so he could get a closer look. The pieces were about 5 foot by 5 foot in size, individually. Whatever they created was going to be huge and ambitious. The metal itself was faded and aged, but still clearly sturdy, especially after the scribes and mechanics got their hands on them. Jacob turned back to Maxson and Ingram, who were ready to explain what he was looking at.

“When I was a boy, the Brotherhood used a gargantuan Robot called Liberty Prime to destroy their enemies, nothing could get in it’s way. It was a symbol of peace, and in our eyes is the symbol of a lost time.” Elder Maxson explained.

“Well, I was a grown ass adult when the thing was used, I’ll explain a bit more in detail.” Ingram said. Maxson shrugged, he didn’t look offended, and if he was he was good at hiding it. “So, Liberty Prime was this big robot the US made in the war, right before the bombs went off. Problem is, the bombs went off before they could ever use it, so it stayed to rot in the capital wasteland for 200 years. The Brotherhood found it and used it against our enemy at the time, and won in about an hour. It was pretty legendary.”

“So we’re using that against the Institute?” Jacob asked, looking back briefly at the parts behind him.

“That’s the thing…” Ingram sighed. “We’re building it off of my memory. It’s worked with us so far, we have the nukes it uses for weapons, but my memory isn’t getting reliable anymore. That’s why we needed Doctor Li. Then another problem comes up, she refuses to work on Liberty Prime.” 

“Is that why she’s been avoiding you two?”

“Yes.” Elder Maxson cut in. “I need you to find her and convince her that our goals are pure, she needs to help us, or the Institute will win.”

Jacob nodded. “I’ll get going, sir. You won’t be disappointed.”

“I expect that no matter what, Knight. You will not disappoint me.”

Jacob nodded and saluted both Proctor Ingram and Elder Maxson before leaving for the Prydwen again. Now he just needed to convince Li to help them, again. That couldn’t be too much of a problem, he’d gotten her to trust him at this point, he just needed her to trust him even more than before. He just hoped he could even do it.

He found Doctor Li on the second level of the main deck of the Prydwen, still angrily pacing as she had before. He asked Danse to stand aside before he walked closer to the doctor, who was still dressed in her Institute lab coat. She immediately noticed him, fire in her eyes. 

“You.”

“Yeah, me.” Jacob sighed softly and stepped closer to her. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know they’d be asking you to work on Liberty Prime, I was just doing my job.”

“I’m not doubting you or your orders, I’m just angry that they expect you to change my mind.” Li spat, glaring angrily at Jacob. 

“I hear how you feel, I bet that robot killed a lot of people.” The knight remained at a respectful distance, he wanted to gain her respect, not force it.

“...You’re not wrong.” Li huffed and turned away. “You know, for a Brotherhood bootlicker, you’re the most competent.”

“Thank you?” He was just gonna take that as a compliment. “I promise, if you decide to work on Liberty Prime, I will do everything in my power to make sure it only sees one use. We will use it to take down the Institute, and that is all we will use it for.”

That seemed to warm Li up to the idea. “I suppose if you can promise that, I will consider it.”

“I understand how you feel about Liberty Prime, but maybe this is for the best! Maybe the Brotherhood needs some authority with a different point of view, someone who’s been both inside and out.” Jacob tried to reason. He wasn’t the best at debating, he could convince people to trust him based on his natural charisma, but he was no debate master.

“Well…” The doctor sighed and thought. “I trust you, I’ll admit that. You kept your promise on finding out what happened to Brian. I will… humor you, briefly. But if they begin to use Liberty Prime outside of it’s agreed on purpose, I’m out. Do you understand?”

“Of course.” Jacob nodded. That was easy.

He walked with the Doctor back to the flight deck, where Elder Maxson had apparently been waiting. Doctor Li seemed to recognize him immediately, and Jacob couldn’t tell if that was positive or not.

“Arthur,” Doctor Li addressed the Elder.

“It’s Elder Maxson,” Maxson attempted to correct her, but she gave him a stern look. “I apologize, Doctor.”

“Mhm.” She huffed and looked him up and down with a slightly judgemental eye. Before the conversation got more uncomfortable, the Elder told Jacob to leave. So he walked back into the Prydwen and back to Danse.

Jacob was so happy to be out of the Institute, and Danse was right here with him, too. He wished he could just close his eyes and pretend the group didn’t even exist, but he knew he couldn’t do that. At this point, he was the poster child of the Institute’s inevitable defeat, he’d have to go down there and lay the final blow. The final blow on everything his own son had worked for. It hurt, it hurt so badly but he knew he’d have to do it. What Shaun was doing was wrong, it was hurting people and it was destroying the Commonwealth, and a man so convicted of his own beliefs would not stand down to reason.

He was scared, but Danse was there to support him. On the way back to the barracks, he bumped shoulders with Scribe Haylen. She didn’t respond, she just looked over the clipboard in her hands in a panic and rushed past Jacob towards Danse’s quarters. It was probably some Paladin business, whatever it was, he was sure Haylen wouldn’t tell him if it wasn’t important to him.

-

Jacob was up late, walking below the barracks in the mostly undisturbed deck of the Prydwen. It was uneasy, but he’d been trying to get used to existing with nothing but himself and his thoughts. That’s when he heard the sound of someone climbing down the ladder into the command deck, he knew it couldn’t be anything else but a sleepless scribe, or maybe even Elder Maxson, but he had to follow, he didn’t have anything better to do.

He waited for the person to open the door into the flight deck before he climbed down after. The boots on his uniform padded softly on the metal floors, the only people awake was one single scribe, fast asleep in the command center as the airship hovered still above the airport. Jacob pushed the door to the flight deck open and strained his eyes, it was dark. He saw two silhouettes in the cloudy night, one with a large back on their back and the other in what looked like a scribe’s uniform. They were standing at an unoccupied vertibird, the silhouette with the bag climbed inside and said something Jacob couldn’t hear to the one in the uniform. The two clasped their hands together, almost as if it was for the last time. 

The vertibirds propellers began to spin as one of the silhouettes got into the driver's seat. Maybe it was a pilot? Jacob didn’t know anyone else that could fly those things. The vertibird took off and flew off into the distance. The scribe watched it fly away, their shoulders tense. Jacob felt like he should go, that he’d get caught. So he did, he let the door shut slowly and climbed back up into the main deck. 

Before he went back to the barracks, he knocked lightly on Danse’s door. He should let him know what he saw, it definitely wasn’t normal. However, there was no reply. Jacob huffed and knocked again, nothing. He tugged on the door and it was locked. He let out a soft sigh and walked away. He’d talk to him about it in the morning, that wasn’t long away anyway, Jacob had been up for quite a while. 

Jacob fell asleep on his bed, completely unaware of the storm that would happen the next day. He wouldn’t be able to live comfortably for long, reality always catches up eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh this chapter is really short, I'm so sorry! The next chapter is gonna be a lot longer and way more dramatic, if everything works out. It'll have a few trigger warnings at the beginning, is all I'll say. Let's hope I get that out in a timely manner.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you wanna ask me something or look at my garbage posts :)


	27. December 8th, 2287 - Pt.I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob gets some news, and the first of the most difficult orders he's ever gotten in the Brotherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW>> There's some mentions of suicidal threats. 
> 
> It's vague and very brief, but I don't want to ruin anyone's time reading by triggering any of you. I promise, it isn't bad or huge, but a little warning goes a long way. Take care of yourself.

Jacob knocked on Paladin Danse's door yet again the next morning. The sound of knuckles lightly knocking metal rang out to no reply, Danse was nowhere on the Prydwen, and he wasn't present in his quarters either. Jacob sighed heavily and knocked again, his frustration only growing. Since when did Danse sleep in? Hell, since when did Danse go deaf? He could have sworn Danse usually didn't have trouble hearing unless he was purposefully ignoring something, and Jacob couldn't remember doing anything in the past few days that would piss him off that much. That is, unless some innocent hand holding counted as pissing him off. Just when he was about to turn around and look below the airship, then Intercom came on with a sharp hiss. Usually, Jacob just turned it out. It was usually the same couple repeated messages, maybe to call down Paladins and other high-level personnel to speak with Maxson, but this time he heard his name.

_ "Knight Jacob Roberts, please report down to the Elder's command deck for emergency instruction."  _ The voice of Lancer Captain Kells ordered from all around him. Jacob tensed, he couldn't avoid that. Looking for Danse would have to wait.

Jacob climbed down the ladder and stepped onto the command deck with his back straight and at attention. Maxson pointed an accusatory finger at him almost immediately.

"You." The elder spat, his other hand clenched in an angry fist.

"What is it, sir?" Jacob said, now standing at attention in front of the Elder. He would save the snarky comments for later, Maxson looked legitimately furious.

Elder Maxson tried to collect himself. "I have received word from Proctor Quinlan that you could have possibly been harboring a synth without the Brotherhood's direct, and immediate knowledge."

"Excuse me?" Jacob was already taken aback. Sure, he didn't fully agree with the Brotherhood's view on synths, but he hadn't been harboring one.

Elder Maxson nodded. "In the information you gave us directly from the Institute, we found a transcript of every missing or stolen Synth, including pictures and snippets of DNA data." The Elder glared at Jacob, still clutching his fists and trying to remain calm and collected. He was failing. "We compared the images and DNA data with what we have on every single Brotherhood soldier, and we found that Paladin Danse was a perfect match for a synth they called M7-97. Paladin Danse is a synth."

Jacob blinked. That couldn't be true, Danse would have told him. "Sir that can't-"

"I'm afraid it is true, Knight. And I have reason to believe that he told you, and you swore to secrecy." Maxson accused him, the anger he had been showing from the beginning made sense at this point.

"I didn't swear to anything, Elder. He didn't tell me anything about him being a synth, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding or not, Danse has gone AWOL." Maxson huffed and turned away from Jacob, seething as he looked out the clouded window. "I need you to find it and execute it."

"I- You can't be serious." Jacob was shocked, he couldn't believe what he was being asked to do. "You can't seriously be asking me to…  _ do that _ to Danse."

"You will do as I order, Knight. That is your duty in the Brotherhood. The existence of Paladin Danse goes against everything the Brotherhood stands for, we cannot make exceptions.” Elder Maxson turned back around and faced Jacob. His expression was filled with anger. “You will do your duty, or I will have no choice but to discipline you and send someone else, someone more capable of honoring our rules and ideals. Do you understand that?”

Jacob clenched his fists and looked away. If Maxson sent someone else to do the job, Danse would surely be dead, the Paladin wouldn’t survive. He had to do this, but he wouldn’t kill Danse. “Yes sir.” Jacob spoke clearly, doing his best to hide the contempt in his tone. 

“Good.” Elder Maxson nodded. “Knight Roberts, you have a promotion riding on this.” And then he said those awful words. “ _ Do not disappoint me.  _ Dismissed.” 

Jacob turned around and climbed up onto the main deck of the Prydwen, his mind racing. That must have been the dark figure he had seen the previous night. And he just let him leave, like an idiot. He should have stopped him, he could have helped. How had Danse even found out? Had he known?  _ Why didn’t he tell him? _ As he walked down the hallway towards Proctor Quinlan’s office, he was stopped by a familiar scribe pressing a hand to his chest rather forcefully to stop him in his tracks. It was Scribe Haylen, with an angry and determined fire in her eyes.

“I need to talk to you in private,” She said in a low, secretive voice. “Follow me.”

He didn’t question it and followed her down the metal staircase into the lowest level of the Prydwen. He had never been down here, what had mostly been put there were old crates and loose storage bins filled with who knows what. No one was around to watch or listen in on their conversation. Scribe Haylen looked uneasy and angry, looking around at either entrance to the lowest level in paranoia, just to make sure no one would walk in on them. Finally, she turned to Jacob.

“I heard you were told to hunt down Danse.” She said softly. Jacob only nodded slightly in response. “I get that you want to do good for the Brotherhood… but this isn’t it. Danse didn’t do anything wrong and-”

“I know he didn’t do anything wrong, Haylen. I’m not gonna hurt my friend.” Jacob interrupted. “I know he didn’t do anything wrong, and I don’t care if he’s a synth or not. I’m not going to kill him. You can trust me on that.”

"... Good." Haylen sighed heavily and thought for a moment, clearly debating something. "I know where Danse is. But I have no clue what thought-space he'll be in."

"You do?" Jacob raised an eyebrow up in slight concern.

"Yes. I told him where to go, I knew where he'd be safe…" Haylen admitted. "I won't tell you unless you promise you won't hurt him. Not even if he hurts you."

"... alright. I promise, Haylen." Jacob nodded slightly in conformation, Haylen nodded back.

"Before you met us, Danse and I found a small bunker. It was called Listening Post Bravo, an isolated bunker that no one knows about but me and Danse." She explained in a whisper. "Once I saw the records, I connected the dots and told him where to go."

"You told him he was a synth…?" Jacob mumbled.

"Of course I did, Jacob. Quinlan would find out, and that means a public execution. I can't… I  _ won't  _ let that happen to anyone I care about. It goes against everything I stand for, not just as a Brotherhood scribe, but as a person."

"I understand." Jacob confirmed solemnly. "I will find Danse, and I will hear him out… I promise he'll live, Haylen."

"I'm sorry this happened." The Scribe finished.

"I am too. But… we have to deal with it. I'll head out in 30 minutes."

"I'll tell Quinlan you and I went through every possible location Danse has been in and eliminated them one by one." Haylen decided, stepping away from Jacob and back towards the stairs. The knight nodded back to the Scribe and walked away solemnly. He'd have to do this. At least he knew Haylen was on his side.

-

The rapid spinning of the Vertibird blades outside of the huge opening was the only other sound to distract Jacob from his spiraling thoughts, his endless worries about the end result of all of this. What would happen to Danse if he failed? The brief glimpses of Danse's bleeding corpse went through his mind. The image of Danse's once beautiful eyes now cold and lifeless, so similar to Nora's eyes. There was no life in those eyes, there were no insecurities hidden behind them, only pure, cold, unchanging death. There was no avoiding the fact that if Jacob did not succeed, he would lose his best friend, his anchor, and his love forever. There would be no family anymore, if he failed to save Danse, he'd lose Haylen too. It'd just be him all alone, working for a promotion he didn't care about for a commanding officer he hated more than anything. Rinse and repeat. What was the point of taking it all one day at a time, when everything was moving so fast, and seemed to be getting rapidly worse by the day. The knight felt out of breath and out of place, like he was floating away from everything around him. 

He was shaken from his fear-induced thoughts when the Vertibird flew down onto an ancient landing pad. Jacob climbed down out of the thing and watched it take off into the air with bated breath. He hoped no one had followed him, he didn't need that kind of attention on him right now, especially when he was essentially going to betray the Brotherhood in the name of friendship, or love, or whatever the hell it was anymore. He looked at the laser rifle in his hands and hooked it back to his hip. He wouldn't go in there with weapons drawn. He wanted Danse to know he wouldn't hurt him.

The bunker itself was peaking out of an ancient mountain, on the roof of the building, at least the edge that was sticking out of the dirt and rock, sat two smoking turrets. They had been taken out recently, probably by Danse. The front window was shattered and overgrown by thick vines, all shades of winter brown and autumn red. Jacob pushed open the old door and stepped inside, walking past the busted consoles and toppled shelves.

On the far end of the tiny room there was an elevator blocked off by a desk, Jacob stooped down and pushed the thing out of the way. It took most of his strength, but as he lifted with his whole body, the desk was pushed to clear the way for the elevator door. There was barely any dust on the desk, which meant it was moved to block the door very recently. Nevertheless, it was gone and out of the way, so Jacob pressed the elevator button and stepped inside, waiting for the ancient thing to shutter down the long elevator shaft until it reached Danse's hiding place.

He reached the isolated bunker and stepped through the elevator doors, his hands kept at his sides to show he wasn't on guard.

"Danse?" He called out, to no reply. The knight sighed softly and walked further through the room. Consoles and computers had been set up hundreds of years ago, probably to monitor the levels of radiation in Boston.

Half of the concrete wall on the right side of the room had been caved in, Jacob stepped into the cave of dirt and rock. The dripping of water into a small underground pond echoed through the cave and sent uncomfortable chills down Jacob's spine. He stepped into another room next to the main bunker. That's when he saw him.

Danse's hair was noticeably disheveled and messily parted, strands of his thick black hair falling over his face when it would normally be tucked back with care. He had no weapon, his hands had fallen defeated at his sides. Jacob had never seen him look so empty, so lost of all meaning or purpose. Jacob frowned deeply and stepped closer to him, only for the ex-paladin to step back slightly.

"I know why you're here," Danse said, his once stern and authoritative voice now broken. He wasn't on the verge of tears like that night on recon, but he sounded empty, almost as if he felt too lost and broken to even cry.

"Mhm." Jacob hummed solemnly. "Why didn't you tell me, Danse?"

"Because I didn't know, Jacob." Danse answered, his voice cracked half way through. He was barely holding himself together. "I didn't know anything. I thought I was human… but it all makes sense."

"What do you mean…?" Jacob asked softly, trying to slowly step closer to the ex-paladin.

"Everything. My doubts about being a good leader, my inability to make good decisions, it all stems from me being a machine. A machine isn't supposed to make decisions. I am an abomination, and I need to be taken care of." Danse explained, now stopped in the center of the room, looking directly at Jacob. "I won't get in your way." He gestured to the gun on Jacob's hip.

"I won't."

"I taught you better than that, Knight." Danse said sadly. "I expected better from you, after everything."

"I won't kill you. This isn't worth a promotion."

"This isn't about a promotion, Jacob. You and I both know that." Danse shook his head. "If you outright disobey the Brotherhood to this extent, you will be executed. A person being executed is a worse alternative than a discarded weapon being disposed of."

_ "Listen to yourself, Danse.  _ You sound ridiculous," Jacob argued. "All this doubt? It's a human emotion-"

"I know what you're saying, don't waste your breath." Danse cut in. "You and I both know this is for the best."

"Danse," Jacob said, his voice broke on the verge of tears. "Danse I've lost my whole family, I can't lose you too. I can't keep losing the people I care about…"

"..." Danse grew silent for a moment and then stepped back from Jacob. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Knight." He said softly.

Jacob looked at the rifle on his hip. Danse nodded slightly and got down onto his knees and then shut his eyes in preparation for the cold embrace that would await him. Jacob's lip quivered as he looked down at the rifle. He couldn't do this. He had done horrible things, but this is where he drew the line. He dropped the gun and kicked it behind him, then moved to join Danse on his knees. He placed his hands on Danse's shoulders.

"I can't do this, Danse." Jacob said through tears.

Danse opened his eyes passively and looked at the gun, now stopped in the doorway.

"If you can't do it, I will. Give me the rifle and I'll do the job myself." Danse sighed softly and tried to get up, but Jacob pulled him down.

"No- No no don't do that." The knight practically begged.

"Why?" Danse asked plainly. "Tell me why, right now."

"You are the most human man I've ever met, Danse." Jacob said, trying to hold back the emotion in the back of his throat. "You are kind, and resilient, and you care deeply for everyone you take under your wing. You care about your ideals. No machine can replace real, human emotion. I fell for a man, not a machine."

Danse looked at Jacob with widened eyes, then quickly looked away. "You are undermining everything the Brotherhood and I have taught you."

"You are direct proof that Maxson is wrong," Jacob continued. "Everything you have done has been for the good of mankind. You made that decision, not your programmers."

Danse then went completely silent. That's when Jacob knew he had done it, Danse's eyes filled with thin tears as the ex-paladin's shoulders tensed under Jacob's hands.

"You're right-" Danse managed through the waves of emotions. "You're right, I don't know how to feel about it, but you're right. Everything I believed about synths is wrong… I don't know what to do."

Jacob sighed and got up from his knees, he helped Danse up by his hands. Now it was just the two of them, either crying or close to it, in a bunker all alone.

"You should run… go somewhere far away that isn't under Brotherhood control." Jacob decided. That meant he would never see Danse again, but he'd be alive. The ex-paladin frowned at that, but nodded.

"Alright," Danse untucked his holotags from under the collar of his uniform and handed them to Jacob, who clutched it in his gloved hand.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"No." Danse answered lowly.

The silence between them was nearly audible, and Jacob, in his quick thinking, leaned up to kiss him.

It was just one thing he knew he wouldn't regret, if he hadn't done it once he would regret it forever. Danse was caught off guard, his body tensed for a moment before gradually relaxing. The kiss itself was brief, and didn't escalate. Once it was over, the silence was back again, only this time Jacob stood noticeably closer to Danse.

"I'm sorry-" Danse managed.

"Don't apologize." Jacob replied. "You should go soon. An execution wouldn't take this long…" Jacob stepped away and stooped down to grab his gun. Danse nodded and picked up the duffle bag he had brought with him to the bunker.

The two of them road the elevator up in silence, their fingers tightly intertwined. This was the last time Jacob would ever see Danse again, and the realization was hitting him in waves. Part of him wanted to run away  _ with _ Danse, but he had a duty to carry out, even if it was allied with the wrong people. Danse and him stepped out of the bunker, prepared to say a final goodbye.

Elder Maxson was standing there in the grass waiting, his gun pointed directly at Jacob's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did it boys, the ship has sailed
> 
> my tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage


	28. December 8th, 2287 Pt.II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Jacob and Danse stepped out of the Bunker, they were met by Elder Maxson. Now Jacob has to convince the elder not to kill Danse, and he has no idea how to do it.

The breeze around them was low and the woods were quiet, the only sound being made was the crack of swaying branches in the smooth winter breeze. Elder Maxson's weapon stared back at Jacob with terrifying, red intensity. He had already been shot by a laser once and had been sent into a nearly 2 week coma, that time he wasn't even being aimed for. The knight didn't need medical experience to understand just how fast a direct shot would kill him, especially when the source was so close.

"How  _ dare  _ you betray the Brotherhood!" Maxson spat, his tone intense and fiery.

"This is not his fault, Elder. This is about me not him," Danse cut in, letting go of Jacob's hand to raise them both up in surrender. Maxson pointed his off hand angrily towards Danse.

"I will deal with you later _. _ " The elder threatened through gritted teeth. Jacob had never seen him so angry before, his sheer rage was practically emanating off of him in forceful and intense waves. “Knight, why hasn’t this  _ thing  _ been destroyed?” He turned back to Jacob with fire in his eyes, the gun still trained onto the two of them.

Jacob, for once in his life, tried to stay calm. It wasn’t often he had a gun trained on him, let alone with a peer on the other end, but he took a breath and tried to keep his cool. 

“Sir, you’re wrong about him,” Jacob began. Before he could continue Maxson cut him off, his voice louder than his by comparison.

_ “Him?” _ Maxson spat. “It’s a machine! A synthetic monstrosity created by the Institute. It was not born from the womb of a loving mother, but grown in the cold confines of a lab with no real lineage. Flesh is flesh, machine is machine, Knight. By attempting to play God, the Institute has taken the sanctity of human life and corrupted it beyond measure. You ought to know-”

“Sir!” Danse cut in, his fists clenched at his sides, not in anger but in fear. A man who has never spoken up against someone he admires and respects choosing to stand his ground. “Sir I have done so much in the name of the Brotherhood of Steel, I have spilled my own blood and watched countless brothers and sisters spill theirs in return. How could you say this about me?”

“This is exactly how we ended most of humanity in the first place, Danse.” Maxson answered, lowering his gun in preparation for the coming rant. “Look around you Danse, unmarked gravestones sit under our feet caused by our own neglectful hubris. Billions died because science outpaced our own human restraint. They called it the ‘New Frontier’ and ‘Pushing the envelope’ without once thinking how many innocent lives would end following the repercussions. Can’t you see this is happening again? You’re a single bomb in an arsenal of thousands, preparing to lay waste to the very few of us left on this deteriorating globe!” Danse relaxed his fists and looked slightly away from Maxson, as if he was almost being swayed. Jacob couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t let Danse be pulled back to that place.

“Danse is not a weapon,” Jacob said. “He wants to save mankind, not destroy it. I know Danse, he isn’t like that-”

“Knight, you have known it for barely even 2 months, you know nothing.” Maxson spat.

“The fact that you’re even accusing him of this just goes to show how little you know and respect him.” Jacob retorted with a glare.

“You are as delusional as you are insubordinate!” Maxson retorted, staring daggers into Jacob. “You take multiple weeks away on personal business during a war, taking away the precious time of a paladin. You heavily sleep in, and your power armor maintenance is atrocious. And now, now you outright disobey an Elder’s direct orders, not only disregarding the Brotherhood’s rules but trusting the word of a machine before your own superior!” He vehemently argued. “Why do you trust a machine that’s had it’s mind erased, it’s thoughts programmed, it’s very soul manufactured! All it’s ethics and morals? Those are carefully crafted lies made in an attempt to further blend into society, you delusional, pathetic imbecile!”

Danse spoke again, his voice softened and much less confident. “I was born, no,  _ created  _ in a laboratory, and most of my memories are not my own.” He began, rather hesitant. “I’m still trying to grapple with the idea, I’m still trying to accept it, but I do at least know this.” He took a slow deep breath. Elder Maxson nodded very slightly and allowed him to continue. “When a soldier died under my command, I felt guilt. When I saw my brothers and sisters dying at my feet, I felt sorrow I cannot begin to describe. When I defeated an enemy in the name of the Brotherhood of Steel, I felt pride. And when I heard your first speech 4 years ago, I felt hope. I felt honored to fight by your side in any war that would come our way.”

There was a deafening silence as Elder Maxson thought on Danse’s word, finally he spoke up, his voice somber and low. “The Institute has foolishly chosen to grant you life,” he said, raising his gun to point at Danse’s head. “I intend on fixing that mistake.”

Danse nodded slightly and lowered his head as if to accept it. Jacob panicked, his heart beginning to pump faster in his chest, Danse nudged Jacob out of the way and shook his head.

“You tried, thank you for being my best and closest friend.” Danse said, as if it were going to be his final words.

“Touching.” Maxson grit his teeth. Jacob panicked and balled his hands into fists.

“Sir at least listen to me! I’ve done so much for the Brotherhood I deserve for you to at least hear me out." He insisted. Jacob wasn't begging, at least he didn't think he was. He was too panicked to really think through his feelings, he just needed to say the right words. The Elder nodded slightly, his gun still pointed at Danse but his finger now off of the trigger. "If you kill Danse, I'm leaving. I refuse to follow someone's command if it means losing the people I care about, I've done enough following in my life. If you kill Danse, I refuse to follow you."

Maxson glared at Jacob, his eyes narrowed in frustrated suspicion. Despite this he lowered his weapon and turned away to think. Danse looked at Jacob in muted confusion, it made sense too, Jacob didn't really think that would work either. After a long moment of thought, Maxson let loose a heavy sigh and turned again to look at the two.

"It appears we are at an impasse." He admitted. Danse's eyes widened in surprise, and Jacob's followed suit. Was Maxson really agreeing with him? "Despite everything the Brotherhood of Steel has taught you, you insist on keeping it alive. This leaves me only one alternative." The Elder pointed at Danse. "You. As far as I am concerned, you are dead. You were hunted and slain by Knight Jacob Roberts, and your remains were incinerated by me personally." There was a brief look of relief in Danse's face, which faded the more and more Maxson explained. "You are not to set foot on the Prydwen, or speak to  _ any _ Brotherhood member." The elder sent a pointed glare towards Jacob. "If you disobey, I will not hesitate to have you shot on sight. No questions asked."

Danse nodded. "Of course. Thank you, Arthur." He thanked. Maxson narrowed his eyes.

"Do not address me like that. I can change my mind at a moment's notice, do not mistake my mercy for acceptance." He spat. Then, he turned his attention to Jacob. "You may say your goodbyes, but I expect you to be on that Vertibird in a few minutes. You are to collect Danse's holotags, I do not want you to mention his name when we get back."

Jacob nodded and watched the Elder walk back to the distant Vertibird, when he was out of earshot, he turned to Danse. The ex-paladin looked confused, his eyes wide.

"I don't know how or why you did it, but you did," He said. Jacob sighed.

"I couldn't watch you die." Jacob said simply.

Danse nodded. "Go. I have much to think about," he admitted. "I will stay in the bunker long term, if you do need to find me I'll be there. I advise you to be careful, I do not want to drag you down into hiding as well."

"Are we gonna talk about- uhm.." Jacob cleared his throat. Danse shook his head no in response.

"I'd appreciate it if we saved that conversation for another time. I have too much on my mind."

"Of course Danse," Jacob sighed and nodded. "I'll miss you." He finished.

Danse smiled. "I'll miss you too."

Jacob walked up the grassy hill of the dead forest towards the Vertibird, Danse's words still ringing in his head as he fiddled with the man's holotags in his pocket. He had kissed him, in some sort of panicked goodbye. He knew it was a genuine thing, but he didn't know what to do about those feelings. Everything had been happening so fast in the last few months, were those feelings even real, or just a desperate latch onto someone even remotely similar to Nora? No, he should stop comparing Danse to her, they were different people from different times. He had no idea what his feelings were for Danse, and it scared him. The knight continued to think as he hauled himself aboard the Vertibird, now sitting awkwardly across from the Elder as the craft carried them across the Commonwealth.

Whatever these feelings were, they'd have to wait. He needed to destroy the Institut.

-

Jacob couldn't help but hold his breath as he stood in the command room, bright winter sun shining through the walls of bullet proof glass shining upon his olive green uniform. He was surrounded by other Brotherhood soldiers, men and women that had worked hard to get to this point, their Promotion. The soldiers surrounding him had done honorable things, they'd slain enemies, trained for years, all Jacob had done was lie and give them the Institute's location. His prior Military knowledge had nothing to do with it, hell, no one had asked him about it other than Danse. His face faltered into a frown at the thought of the Ex-Paladin. But he stood to attention when the Elder addressed him.

"Roberts, you have done great deeds to the Brotherhood. You have revealed the Institute's location and collected knowledge from the inside directly. You convinced Doctor Li, our strongest asset, to rejoin our ranks. You executed a powerful synth spy in the name of the Brotherhood, and for that you have earned your Promotion." Maxson said. There was a glint of bitterness deep in his eyes as he spoke, Jacob knew why. He was being promoted based on lies and cover ups. If the truth where to get out, it would hurt both Jacob and Maxson. "With that, I will now grant you the rank of Paladin.  _ Do not disappoint me." _ The words echoed in Jacob's head as he nodded slightly in response. Maxson's favorite threat had a whole new meaning now. He had already disappointed the Elder. He had no idea what he had in store next. The newly promoted group saluted to the elder, but Jacob could feel Maxson's eyes on his back as he stepped out of the room.

Jacob already wished Paladin Danse was still here, he didn't need help or advice, he just needed company. He took out the keys to Danse's old quarters, he had then issued to him just before he had been formally promoted, now he had to sleep in the room and pretend that it wasn't strange.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, taking a careful look around. The room felt empty and cold without the Paladin here, he switched the light on and shut the door behind him. It was quiet, that was a plus. He sighed heavily and looked around at the things scattered around the room. He'd need to clear Danse's stuff out, maybe he'd bring it to him next time he visited. He looked at the table covered in scattered tools and weapon pieces with a frown. Danse really left in a hurry, he had only packed the essentials. Jacob walked across the room and picked up an empty whiskey bottle. He set it into the garbage bin without a second thought. He felt as if he was snooping in Danse's personal business, even if it was technically his room now. 

The silence of the room felt uncomfortable now, a room he had so closely associated with Danse now cold and empty, swiftly abandoned in a hurry. Despite the sick feeling in Jacob's stomach, he continued to put trinkets and supplies into boxes and stuff clothing into old duffle bags from Danse's earlier years in the Brotherhood. He found old photos, letters he didn't bother reading, the occasional discarded empty alcohol bottle, until finally Jacob found something that took his interest.

It was Danse's personnel file. In it was a photo, estimated birth date, his single name, everything about his time in the Brotherhood, his literacy. Jacob quickly realized how much he felt like a stalker even just reading this, but despite this he took out the most important paper in the file and carefully folded it to fit in his bag.

He finished packing Danse's things away, which left the room somehow even more cold than before. He laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't know what to do anymore, there was no guidance, nothing to look forward to. He needed to be careful visiting Danse, he couldn't be out all the time anymore, he was a Paladin. Jacob sighed deeply and rolled onto his side. He needed to sleep.

After the lights shut off, sleep never found him. He couldn't even doze. His mind just couldn't stop racing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO that took a long time. School has been really busy, I'm trying to get used to the homework and it's kinda tough, but I'm managing. It's gonna be a while longer until I update, too. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't exactly.. good quality. I wrote it over a week, it was a really slow process. I'm gonna try and gradually finish over the next month or two, thanks for sticking around and continuing to read.
> 
> My tumblr is charybdis-nerdrage! I post update links there and also post absolute garbage.


	29. December 9th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob Roberts, now known as Paladin Jacob Roberts, is ordered on his first solo mission as a Paladin to find the location of the Railroad. The problem is, he knows who the railroad is, and doesn't want them to be attacked. In compromise, he comes up with a plan that will benefit him and the broken man in the Bunker up North.

Jacob awoke with a deep pit in his stomach, now blankly staring at the low metal ceiling as the springs from the mattress dug into his sore back. He could hear footsteps outside of his door to his empty room and the first crackles of the loudspeakers up ahead. Although muted, he knew none of it concerned him. He continued to stare, blank, up at the ceiling that looked cold to the touch. He hadn't felt this hopeless in years, not since his sad, pathetic years in the military. After a few more moments of enjoying the slight numbness that encased his completely still body, he sat up gradually, the springs now creaking below him. The room was still empty from the last few days, the bags of Danse's things still shoved into the corner. He had moved all of his personal items in here, but he hadn't bothered to place them anywhere of real significance. Anything he knew would comfort him was stuck in an old bunker or lost to the bombs. As he changed into his tight fitting uniform, he thought over what he needed to do for the day. He was getting new power armor, and his first solo Paladin assignment at noon. He knew Maxson was betting on him to fuck that up, so he was determined to prove the Elder wrong.

He walked through the hallway, passing early waking scribes and small clusters of knights. They weren't giving him weird looks anymore, it was more signs of respect. In their eyes he had killed Danse, in their eyes he was a hero. In reality, he was nothing but a boot-licking coward. He tapped on the shoulder of Proctor Ingram's power armor frame. She turned slightly from whatever she was doing and smiled at Jacob from over her shoulder.

"You!" She greeted with a smile. "Get over here, I got Danse's old armor fixed up." Jacob watched her away in sudden shock.

"Danse's armor? There's no way-"

"You think he brought that when he went AWOL?" She sighed and patted the familiar armored shoulder of Danse's power armor, now limp and empty. "Yeah, I polished it and adjusted it's height a bit so it'd fit you."

Jacob looked at the chest piece in horror. "I-" he stammered. Proctor Ingram sighed.

"Sorry Jake, I should have introduced you to the idea a tad bit slower." She admitted. "Maxson's orders, okay? This isn't my idea."

"Thank you." He said softly, stepping closer to the armor to examine where scratches in the paint had previously been. Ingram was too happy about this, she was too optimistic. Was he the only one here that actually cared, other than Haylen? Honestly, that wasn't a crazy guess.

Ingram watched him climb up into the power armor. He flexed his fingers in the suit to get the feel of it. It felt different, the armor felt worn down and well-loved. He wasn't surprised, this suit was Danse's second skin, even if he wouldn't admit it. The thought made him feel nauseous. He stepped back out after a few minutes of joint testing, all of which he spaced out for. As he stepped back down onto the floor from the suit, Ingram patted his back.

"Hey, he was my friend too. We all lost someone that day." She attempted to reassure him. It didn't help. He shrugged off the supportive hand and reached over to rub at a scratch on  _ Danse's _ armor. He refused to call it his own.

"It's fine. I'm fine. He was a synth, right? Just a weapon." Sure, he might have been a weapon, but that made him one too.

Ingram sighed and allowed Jacob to walk off. He did this without question, now watching the clock for that dreaded meeting with Maxson. The day spun on, Jacob helped a few clueless scribes and shut himself into his room to do nothing in particular, a habit his wife and therapist would have scolded him for if they weren't either a dried up skeleton or filled with 60 year old lead. The clock on his pip boy began to chime as he held his head on the cold surface of the desk, his eyes now shut was he felt the cold touch against his face. But, he had to go. He got up, fixed his hair, and climbed down into the command center at attention, ready to receive his assignment.

Elder Maxson turned to him with a deep-set frown, his eyes still hostile from his promotion two days previous.

"Paladin," he acknowledged, walking closer to Jacob at a predator-like pace. He was not hiding his hatred for Jacob.

"Yes sir." Jacob replied. Maxson gestured towards the windows, cuing him to move. Jacob did so, now looking through the slightly foggy glass out into Boston, what had once been his home.

"Look at all of this. A synth's playground, don't you agree? A vile disease that must be wiped clean. A pest that must be stomped out under the metaphorical boot of authority." He said, now standing beside Jacob. The elder was testing him, he was trying to get Jacob to break. He remained calm, just like back at the bunker.

"Yes Elder, the synths are a ticking time bomb, we need to diffuse it." He lied through his teeth. Maxson made a 'hm' sound, glancing at him with narrowed eyes.

"Well, we have reliable information that there is a group out there, in that city. They are… 'freeing' these abominations, they think the machines have free will. They are endangering us as a species."

Jacob's voice caught in his throat for a moment. He knew those people, the Railroad. Maxson would wipe those people out, and with what he knew now he knew they weren't bad people.

"Are you sure, Elder Maxson?"

"Extremely. I got the information out of a mock doctor in one of the less fortunate towns myself." Maxson glared at Jacob, as if he already knew what Jacob was hiding.

Jacob continued to stand his ground. "You want me to find these people and destroy them, sir?"

"No." Maxson said simply.

"What?" Jacob looked over in actual surprise.

"I need you to find the exact location of their headquarters, do not interact." Maxson continued. "You will be doing this alone." He then lowered his voice, leaning in so that only Jacob could hear his low, menacing tone. "Consider this your last, redeeming chance." He warned.

Jacob nodded. Maxson handed Jacob a paper with a few symbols written out in pen.

"These are their symbols, the ones that are known to us. Look around, they could be hidden anywhere." He finally finished by continuing, "Go now, get your things and your power armor." Jacob immediately began stepping away.

He internally thanked whatever fucked up god above kept Maxson from saying what he usually said, 'don't disappoint me'. It was one less 10 ton weight on his back, and as he climbed up the ladder and opened the door to his quarters, it almost made him feel determined.

_ Maybe he'd find some information on Danse, _ he thought, folding Danse's personnel file and tucking it away into his bag for safe keeping. He was ready, would his plan work? Only time will tell.

-

Jacob shined the helmet flashlight of Danse's power armor into the catacombs of the church. He knew the Railroad was here, he knew their code and he even knew some of their agents. Specifically Deacon. Dust filtered through his helmet as he trudged through the shadowy caves all alone towards the unsuspecting plaque. He began to spin the outer ring, clicking the button until he had spelled out the code and opened the door. He was greeted by Desdemona and Deacon, who looked at him with curiosity. Or at least one of them did, Deacon probably already knew what was going on.

"What the hell are you doing here," Des spoke up. "We told you not to come here again."

"It's an emergency, please, I'm begging you."

Des glanced over at Deacon, who merely smiled. She glared back at Jacob. "Leave your weapons with Deacon and your power armor in the HQ. I do not want you walking around while armed."

Jacob nodded and handed all of his weapons to Deacon, who carried his laser rifle under his arm with the joy of a boy who had gotten a new toy for christmas.

"Ooo fun, Brotherhood nick-nacks." He said with a sky grin plastered over his face.

"They are not yours to keep." Jacob grumbled.

"Eh… not if you have anything to say about it." Deacon patted the shoulder of Jacob's power armor and took him inside the HQ after Des.

The HQ hadn't changed from when Jacob last saw it, the same people, the same layout, but a few different synths. One in particular was crying, one of the agents sat beside the synth trying to comfort it. Jacob watched for far too long… the sight had been bad back before Danse's identity was revealed, now? Now it hit harder than he'd like.

Des watched Jacob step out of his power armor and brought him to the round table in the center.

"What do you want." Des glared at him, already lighting up a cigarette.

"I need to ask for a favor," Jacob began, taking out the folded up piece of paper from his leather gauntlet. He had moved the thing from his bag on the way here. "I need to know if this synth ever went through your organization." He showed her the file. Des took it in her hand and examined the photo and details.

"I don't know, we lost a lot of our files during the multiple emergency moves." She admitted. "When do you think he went through us?"

"Around 7 years ago, maybe 8, tops."

"Okay… Synth name?"

"M7-97."

"...hm." Des hummed in thought. "I think I have something. Those files are smaller, they're on holotape but I'll have Tom print them."

Jacob sighed in relief and stepped over, but Des touched his arm to stop him.

"Stop right there, we aren't done." She glared at him. "You need to give us information, we don't hand this stuff out like candy."

Jacob had been prepared for this. "The Brotherhood is going to attack. They know this is your general area, and they will find your headquarters. I'm offering you the chance to disappear."

Des pondered for a moment. Then, thankfully, she looked over at Deacon and told him to look for the file on the computer and get it printed by Tom. When she turned to Jacob, she had a slight smile on her face.

"Wonderful doing business with you, Roberts."

"How did you-" Des nodded a head towards Deacon. "Oh."

"He's been following you for weeks, inside and outside the Brotherhood." Des explained. "He was already inside the Brotherhood for a while before you showed up, gaining intelligence from the few scouting groups around, including your synth's patrol. I don't know everything he knows, but I'm privileged to admit he tells me what he wants to."

Jacob frowned slightly. "He knew?"

"We all knew. Outing a synth will endanger them, and according to Deacon the man's already been outed." Jacob sighed heavily and nodded in reply. Des stepped away. "Stay there for a while, Deacon will give you the things you need."

That left Jacob alone again, in the center of the Railroad's hustle and bustle. Again, he was choosing to lie. This time it was a bit more necessary, this is what would keep hundreds of people alive. The last lie was just to make sure Danse still liked him. He knew Danse liked him, after what had… transpired… in that Bunker. He wanted to say he hadn't thought about it, but he had. A lot. An act of real affection, what was meant to be a final goodbye now a strange thought of the past, even though it was only two days ago. He had kissed Danse, and Danse kissed back. He didn't know if that meant anything, maybe he was just mistaking a close friendship with something akin to his relationship with Nora. But maybe it was something real and tangible, someone could comfortably live with out here, away from the Brotherhood and the raiders… with Shaun, all together on some farm on the nondescript piece of land in the middle of nowhere-

He was shaken from his thoughts by Deacon tapping on his shoulder.

"Heyy bud, I got your things." He said with a grin, holding a piece of paper with badly printed info on the front, along with a labeled holotape.

"Oh uh-" Jacob's face flushed, now realizing what he had just fondly imagined. Did he really get that swept up into it to waste more than 20 minutes? "Thanks." He managed, taking the paper into his hands before tucking the holotape away.

"That there's a partial file of the Synth, what we think he did, his personality at the time, general fact stuff." Deacon shrugged. "No picture though, we aren't super fancy like you Brotherhood guys. Oh and also his last holotape recording before he got wiped."

"Thanks Deacon…" Jacob mumbled, glancing over the information on the page.

"I'll get you your things and we'll get you out of here." The agent said, escorting him towards his power armor.

The agents around him were already packing up, he noticed. As he strapped his primary laser rifle to his side and returned everything to its proper place, he realized just how much his actions were going to affect his time in the Brotherhood. This was no longer his new family, this was a prison he intended to run from when all of this Institute business was over with. The railroad would continue saving the last few synths around, maybe expand into something else, he had no idea. It wasn't like they'd want to tell him these things anyway. Jacob had sided with bad people, that was the truth. He had experience with that, the Pre-war US military was the definition of gray morality, but this was bad. He had made a serious mistake, he couldn't go back and fix it, he couldn't join another group. He was in far too deep to leave and pretend he wasn't a deeply flawed man.

He stepped out of the church alone, he could feel the weight of the paper and holotape in his bag, despite the fact that those things really weren't heavy. He could go back to the Brotherhood… but he decided against it. Instead, he would go to the bunker.

Was he visiting a friend, boyfriend, brother? He had no idea.

The walk wasn't far, he'd have to find out when he got there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyy another chapter. Nearing chapter 30! That's insane. Also I wrote this completely on my phone, don't be surprised if there's spelling errors. If you expect me to edit my work you really should go to another author lmao
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage!


	30. December 10th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob Roberts and Danse meet together for the first time since he was outed as a synth, and the conversation isn't light-hearted. Past lives are revealed, silence is shared, and topics are pushed aside for other conversations. On the other hand, the Brotherhood is now one step away from finishing Liberty Prime, and that means Jacob is one step closer to doing the hardest thing he'll ever do in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M FINALLY BACK SORRY- I MISSED YOU GUYS

The trees creaked in the late night as Jacob’s power armor boots crunched through the dead leaves and rapidly melting snow. The dim light above the familiar bunker flashed towards him, it’s ancient bulb flickering and pulsing in the darkness of the night. Jacob knocked lightly on the thick bunker door and waited for an answer. It was unsettling out here, the bitter cold causing him to shiver in his power armor frame. When there was no answer he allowed himself inside the old upper-level room. It hadn’t been touched since he last stepped inside, the dim streaks moonlight nearly visible in the dusty air. Jacob walked to the elevator, passing the toppled metal desk he had pushed aside himself, and pressed the small button with the large knuckle of his power armor glove. He stepped into the gradually opening elevator, the light above him flickering, clearly on its last legs. The elevator lowered, and then it hit the floor and the door opened he was greeted by the dirtied form of ex-paladin Danse. His hair was still tousled and admittedly rather dusty. He was wearing his brotherhood uniform rolled down, the sleeves tied around his waist, on top he had a filthy tank top that had originally been some form of white. He looked distressed, his laser rifle in hand. But once he recognized who it was his expression immediately softened. 

“Jacob,” he said, almost out of breath from pure relief. “I’m glad it’s only you…” He set his rifle aside and rubbed at his tired eyes, dark bags set beneath them.

“Only me?” Jacob joked, “Awe come on I’m not threatening?”

Danse hesitated for a moment. “Well, truthfully, if you stepped out of that power armor I could fight you,” He pointed out. “And win.”

“Would you though?”

The joking would have continued, but Danse’s eyes trailed down to his power armor… oh no. He recognized it, of course he did, Jacob had been stupid in not leaving it upstairs. Danse’s somewhat happy expression quickly faded. He cursed himself out in his head, he always had a knack for getting himself into these situations. Stupid.

“Is that my power armor?” He mumbled, defeated. Jacob sighed and looked away from Danse awkwardly for a moment, searching for something to help him change the subject. He found none. 

“Listen, it was Maxson’s orders… okay? I’m sorry.” 

Danse tilted his head down and turned away towards the rest of the room.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Danse assured. He was obviously lying. His shoulders sunk as he set his rifle to lean against the wall. He sighed softly and rubbed at his tired eyes, his hand glided back to sweep through his tousled, unorganized hair. 

Jacob felt awful. He stepped towards the corner and stepped out of his power armor, now facing towards the rest of the bunker. There was a dim fire lit in the corner surrounded by old cinder blocks that had previously been scattered across the floor. Just next to it sat an old plate of preserved meat that had been cooked over said fire, barely bitten into. It looked cold, it had been a while since it had been touched. There was an old mattress pushed up against the wall, next to an open toolbox he had filled with canned preservatives. The room was shabby, but a bit cleaner than the last time he saw it. Danse knew he'd be here for quite a while.

"Listen… I brought something that might have answers," Jacob began, opening the small compartment on his power armor to reveal the file and holotape. "At least, I hope it will have answers."

Danse gave Jacob a curious look and sat down on his makeshift bed. He gestured for Jacob to join him, so he did. The new Paladin handed him his file. Danse held it in his hands and read through it.

"... this is curious," he admitted, thoughtfully processing the poorly printed information.

"I haven't read it yet." Jacob replied. "Could you pass it to me when you're done?"

Danse nodded. It was a quick read, and once he was done he passed the file on to Jacob. He looked down and began to read, thumbing with the top corner of the paper in thought.

_ "Identification: M7-97 Chosen Name: Danse Height: 6'3, 190 cm Race: caucasian Eye: Brown _

_ Taken in: ~2281 (Exact date N/A) _

_ Notes: M7-97 was reportedly a prototype Institute Soldier turned maintenance and repair synth. His personality was calm and collected, even on rescue. Described as “poetic” by certain agents. Did not put up a defense when agents found him. Did not object to the memory wipe. _

_ Identity: Orphan scrap boy, heading to Rivet City. Monitoring will continue for another year.” _

Jacob looked up from the paper towards Danse, who was staring at the wall on the other side of the room. He looked tired, like he still had answers. Defined bags lined the underside of his eyes, tinged a bloodshot blue color. He was having a crisis, which didn’t surprise Jacob. This would be jarring. Had this meeting really been a good idea…?

“Are you okay?” Jacob mumbled. Danse merely nodded in response, clearly shaken and confused. "I'm sorry for dumping all of this onto you… I walked in here with your power armor on and confirmation of all of… this. I'm sorry, Danse."

"You don't have to be sorry," Danse mumbled and looked back at Jacob with tired, weary eyes. "Do you have anything else?"

"Yes." He took out the holotape and showed it to the man. "Apparently, it's the last thing you recorded before your memory was wiped. Do you want to listen?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked for clarification.

"Absolutely."

Jacob did as Danse requested and clicked the holotape into the slot on his pip boy. The speaker hissed to life, trying to adjust to the ancient tech. Jacob hit the thing lightly, and the audio finally clicked into place.

_ "Is this thing on?" A woman spoke up, not someone he recognized from the railroad, probably another agent. "Ah, good. Here you go, M7." There was a sound of rustling and movement, and an extremely familiar voice cleared his throat. _

_ “I have seen things no synth should see, deep below the ground of the commonwealth,” He began. His voice was similar to Danse’s current one, albeit a bit younger sounding and much softer. “And I wish to forget those things, I want to live a new life in the Capital, away from fear. A stupider version of me would consider that cowardice. But… I can make an exception just this once. I will be a scrap boy, searching for a place in the world. I know this seems cruel, but in the long run it is my safest option. The Institute is searching for me, I must save myself.” _

_ The woman with him spoke up to tell him he only had a minute left to speak, Danse replied with an acknowledging hum. _

_ “The Railroad has been quite patient with me,” He continued. “They may be small in numbers but they have helped hundreds. I can only pray that my future self is as patient and forgiving as those I’ve met on this journey.” He was silent for a few minutes, seemingly deciding how to end his statements. “I would like to thank the agent that found me, I don't know their name, and I will soon forget it for good. Despite that, my spirit will always be grateful.” _

_ There was more rustling before the tape cut off. _

The silence of the room was palpable, the two men didn't look at each other as Jacob carefully slid the holotape out of the slot on his pip-boy. The ex-paladin looked over to watch his hands, and just from the brief glance Jacob took at the man's expression, it was clear Danse was sad. 

"I'm sorry," Jacob began, the feeling of guilt beginning to take form in the back of his throat. This really had been a bad idea, he was forcing Danse to think more about this, he was just bringing out bad memories.

"You don't need to be sorry, Jacob." Danse dismissed. "That was quite a lot to listen to,"

"You were uh… quite the poet." Jacob pointed out, trying his hardest to lighten the mood. The corners of Danse's lips quirked up slightly.

"I suppose nothing's changed, hm?" Danse added.

The brief, hollow chuckles between the two only filled the dead air for a moment. Danse's small smile faded, Jacob leaned back against the wall. This time they were looking at each other, clearly thinking the same thing.

"Do you want to talk about what happened last time…?" Jacob asked, he'll admit in an awful place. Addressing the kiss right now was bad timing, even for someone as direct as him.

"No," Danse answered simply. "No, I still have things to think about and process. I think you do too."

Danse wasn't wrong. Jacob would have to kill his son. The reminder made his stomach churn. A relationship right now was out of the question, if that was even the direction they were going. They were too damaged to start something healthy, they'd have to wait.

"After the war?"

"After the war, we can talk about this openly." Danse clarified.

"Okay," Jacob let loose a heavy sigh. "Can I stay a bit longer?" He asked, rather drained and exhausted. Danse nodded simply in response.

"Of course Jacob.”

A weak smile spread over Jacob’s face. He was happy that despite everything, despite his dumb decisions and everything happening with the brotherhood, him and Danse were still friends.

-

It was morning, the gentle yellow sun now shining through the thick billowing clouds and into the command deck of the Prydwen. Elder Maxson stood tall in front of Jacob, slightly nodding at the Paladin explaining exactly where the Railroad was, intricately weaving his web of lies that he had been thinking about the entire night. He had not told Danse about his plan, this was entirely his idea, and the Elder seemed to buy it. Danse and Jacob had spent hours together the previous night, not even talking, just enjoying each other’s presence. The problem was that he had spent a little too long with Danse, and now he needed to sell his lie to the Elder for him to get off scot free. A young scribe beside Maxson furiously scribbled and wrote as he spoke, recording every lie he recited. Finally, when he concluded his performance, the Elder glanced over at the scribe’s notes then looked back at Jacob with a slight, hidden, begrudging smile.

“Outstanding work, Paladin.” Maxson said simply. The praise was hollow, of course, there was absolutely no way the Elder meant what he said, what with the events of the previous few days. 

“Thank you sir, do I have any other assignments…?” Jacob asked. Requesting new assignments would really sell the lie that he was invested in this group, or at least that’s what Jacob thought.

“Yes,” Maxson nodded and waved the scribe away with a lazy hand. “I would like you to meet with Proctor Ingram, she has an assignment for you that is crucial to the Brotherhood’s success in the final battle with the Institute.” He explained. “This is a long, but incredibly important assignment that you cannot fail, do you understand?”

“Yes sir,”

“Ad Victorium.” Maxson saluted him.

“Ad Victorium.” Jacob responded, and his report was finally done and over with. He hated the process even more now that he didn’t have any shield or wall between him and Maxson’s pure hatred. As the paladin climbed up the ladder into the main flight deck and walked towards the maintenance area, he couldn’t help but wonder what Proctor Ingram wanted. What was so important to the Brotherhood that would be crucial enough to send a paladin and a proctor to take care of it? Jacob thought they had everything they needed, a giant robot and troops, what else did they need?

The woman in question was discussing something with a few engineering scribes rather excitedly, probably related to the Liberty Prime project. Jacob stood there for a moment or two before the conversation died down and she actually noticed him.

“Ah! Paladin,” She smiled and waved for him to step aside with her. “Alright, so you’re probably wondering why we need to chat.”

“Mhm.” Jacob nodded.

“Well, we need one last thing before we finally finish Liberty Prime. This is the final thing, and we’ll be ready to finally face the Institute.” She announced, in a rather hushed tone of voice so that only he would really hear her.

“Oh? We’re that close?”

“Mhm! I’m going to explain it in detail when we’re on the vertibird, okay? I need you to pack supplies for a day-long trip, we’re going to leave tonight, so we don’t attract any enemies in daylight.” 

“Alright ma’am.” They two saluted each other half-heartedly, then turned away to pack. 

If this was truly the final piece of the puzzle, that meant Jacob was close to getting out of here. For the most part, he was happy. Danse was waiting for him on the other side, but the feeling in the back of his head persisted, the reminder that he would have to kill his last living relative, his own son, just to be happy. He had ignored this thought for days, nearly a week, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore.

He shook his head to block out the thoughts and went to his room to pack. He needed to stop dwelling so much and get the job done. Then, he would finally be able to see Danse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK. Good LORD that took literal months. Remember when I said school was kicking my ass? It got way worse, and I got sucked away from anything fanfic related. This chapter took nearly a full month to write. I can't make any promises that I'll be posting more often, I'm just begging you to stay patient with me. Thank you to everyone that continues to support me despite my inconsistent motivation.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ charybdis-nerdrage if you want to see me actually post, I'm relatively active too if you want to send an ask or talk to me.


	31. December 11th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Jacob and Proctor Ingram fly towards the Mass Fusion building, where the Beryllium Agitator is hidden below. They think the trip will take all day, but they are mistaken. Luck is a deceiving thing, and death waits for no one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Minor character death**  
> (no spoilers on who, but if that kinda thing isn't for you, maybe skip this chapter.)

The vertibird flew through the midnight sky, Jacob looked out into the pitch black of Boston with his gun on his hip and his off hand on the handle above the door frame. He couldn’t see anything except the small cabin he was standing in and the flicking glow of Diamond city to the left of them, hundreds of feet below. The vertibird blades were nearly deafening, which made him uneasy. So much for remaining inconspicuous, practically the entire Commonwealth could hear them in this thing. Ingram’s voice crackled through the speaker of her own helmet, she was easier to hear with the helmet on, so he didn’t miss a word she said.

“So,” She began, now reaching over to point at a tall skyscraper in the center of downtown. “See that tall thing?”

“How could I miss it.” Jacob mumbled to himself. Ingram snorted a little in response.

“Basically, that place used to be a facility where they’d test radiation exposure and high-tech military weapons. Down there, somewhere, is the Beryllium Agitator.” Ingram explained. Jacob examined the building as they passed by it. The thing was one of the taller skyscrapers in the city, he remembered passing by it a few times before the bombs. 

The top of the building was crumbling, but the rest remained mostly intact. It was rather top-heavy, like there was an entire facility on top of the building itself. The corners of the skyscraper were lined in sleek bronze statues, so high up that they had remained mostly untouched by the world below. The building itself was made of red and white painted metal, the paint had chipped off over the years but other than that, the color had not faded all that much. The skyscraper was labeled across the top with a red logo,  _ Mass Fusion _ . 

“Damn.” Jacob mumbled.

“Yeah, it’s big.” Ingram chuckled. “Y’know I’ve always wanted a look inside, not even the Scribes have been able to touch it. It’s insanely irradiated, and my guess is most of the inside is caved in. I just hope the elevator’s still working, eh?”

“Mhm. And why do we need this agitator?”

“Well the robot needs batteries, we have plenty of old car batteries and home made ones, but none of them have the power to charge a thing as big as Liberty Prime. With the Beryllium Agitator, the robot will stay alive for decades, the Brotherhood will be able to take down any enemy in front of them, including the Institute.”

“... Jesus.” Jacob frowned slightly. That robot would be powerful, how many people would they hurt in the process? “How rough is this mission gonna be, they sent a Paladin and a Proctor so I’m guessing it won’t be a cake walk.”

“Correct, this is going to be tough. Nothing you can’t handle though, you’ve been through a lot and you’ve come out the other side. Hell, so have I. Look at me.” She laughed, but Jacob didn’t return it. He really didn’t want to do this, but he was in far too deep to turn back.

As they flew up closer to the top of the building, Jacob saw something moving on the roof. He looked closer, growing more and more nervous. It was a synth, the robot ones that he had fought to get to Kellogg. The closer he looked the more that appeared. He signaled for Ingram and she immediately caught on to what he was signalling. He let go of the handle and grabbed onto the giant minigun hanging onto the side of the aircraft. He hated using these things, but he wanted to get as many synths off the roof before they’d have to inevitably abandon ship and jump off. The barrel of the gun spun and his heart began to race. The Institute knew they were here, they wouldn’t have much time until the building was swarming with synths. Then, a bullet hit a gas canister, and the entire roof went up in flames. The explosion was loud, much louder than Jacob had originally expected. The ringing in his ears was loud and distracting, but he was still able to notice the pilot frantically signalling for them to jump. Ingram went first, she landed down onto the roof, which shook the moment she hit the ground. Jacob took a deep breath and followed suit.

When he hit the ground he swung his rifle off his hip and blasted a smoking synth until it erupted into fiery dust. He heard fighting behind him, probably Ingram taking care of the last few synths. Jacob scanned the surrounding roof and didn’t find any other metal bastards hidden in the shadows, thank god.

“Area’s clear.” He told Ingram, now walking towards her to make sure the proctor was okay.

“Fantastic,” She chuckled and reloaded her weapon. Jacob turned and watched the small vertibird disappear into the night. He could only hear it faintly from here, and he could barely see it in the night sky.

“I guess my fear that we’d be spotted was pointless,” He mumbled to himself. Ingram laughed.

“Yeah, those things are loud up close but quiet from far away. We’ll be fine, come on. We have to find a way inside.” She walked through one of the torn off walls of the roof into what looked like an old office. On the far side of the office was a large and circular glass elevator that faintly reminded Jacob of the Institute elevators, only… extremely dirty, and very old. Ingram stepped up to the elevator and examined it. “It needs a keycard, look around for one of those.” He nodded, took his power armor helmet off, and set it aside so he could look around for some sort of key.

Truthfully, he felt slightly sick. He didn’t need to throw up, it sure as hell wasn’t urgent, but he felt very slightly sick, to the point where it was somewhat distracting. He’s tired too, probably because he hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in a few days. All in a day’s work for a Paladin, right? Jacob opened a small desk drawer after smashing the lock off with his power armor glove. He didn’t need to pick it when he had twice the strength he usually did. He took the keycard out and whistled for Ingram. Next thing he knew, he was in the elevator, watching the grooves of the old concrete wall pass over them as the small circular capsule lowered further into the building. He put his power armor helmet on with a satisfying click, prepared for more of a fight, if the Institute knew where they were already, there was no telling how many were swarming down below. Ingram looked over at him for a moment.

“You okay?” She asked.

“Fine.” She had no right to hear the truth, it was too risky to admit how nervous he was. She was Brotherhood, she was convinced Danse was a traitor, and that Maxson was a hero. Honestly, Jacob was anxious about so many things, Danse, Shaun, the Institute, Elder Maxson, he doubted she’d understand that, if he was completely honest about these things it would be a matter of time before Maxson heard about them. The conversation quickly ended, and Jacob readied his rifle.

The fight wasn’t that far away, when the concrete shaft opened up into the rest of the building, the two were bombarded with Synths shooting from a distance. The building’s floors were mostly caved in around the center, which left the edges of the floors still intact and mostly stable. Jacob took aim and fired at synth after synth. The problem with laser rifles was that their accuracy wasn’t the best from far away, he would know, judging by the scar on his face. However, the inaccuracy was worth it once the shot actually hit the target. Jacob stepped back to the wall of the elevator and killed every other synth he could, with Ingram right next to him.

Suddenly, the elevator came to a sudden halt. Jacob’s heart jumped, they were sitting ducks now, they would surely be bombarded in no time. Ingram swore to herself and looked down below the elevator. The majority of the building had been hollowed out, it would be a long fall. She looked over at Jacob, thinking.

“I have an idea, and you’re not going to like it.” She told him.

“Go on,” He looked down below the elevator as well, his heart now beginning to beat faster in his chest.

“We have to jump down there, the Power Armor will protect our fall.” She suggested.

“What? Didn’t that exact same idea get your legs crushed?!” Jacob lashed out, clearly very panicked. That was an awful idea! He had places to go, he couldn’t die now. He needed to get that battery back to Elder Maxson and take care of all this, he couldn’t be mortally wounded again.

“Do you have any better ideas?” She pointed at him. “Because if you do I’d love to hear them, Paladin. We’re surrounded, and jumping down there is our best bet. Come on, I’ll go first.” Ingram scoffed and smashed through the glass of the elevator with her power armor glove. Jacob watched her jump down with wide, fearful eyes. She plummeted down into the darkness of the skyscraper, and the building practically shook when she landed. He was about to jump down hundreds of stories, and hopefully survive. 

Jacob grabbed the edge of the elevator and looked down. He hesitated, he could feel his heartbeat down in the depths of his gut. He felt the heat of a laser whiz past his head, and then he was in the air.

Falling wasn’t that hard, in all honesty part of it was kind of relaxing. Floor after floor after floor passed over him in rapid succession, he was so much faster than that elevator. He held his breath and tried to keep his feet below him, which was easier while encased in a weighted suit. Jacob was truly terrified, more scared of death than anything, but that terrifying fear was muted by the serenity of the wind flying over him. Falling was much easier than jumping, he decided. Everything felt so peaceful, that is, until of course, he hit the ground.

When Jacob landed he felt the shock through his entire body. He wasn’t hurt, his power armor seemed to compress slightly and absorb the force of the fall, but he felt as if his whole body had been shaken, and his organs were in all of the wrong places. Ingram was already next to him, helping him back up to his feet.

“See? Wasn’t so hard.” She laughed. Jacob didn’t reply, far too shaken to manage. “Come on, Paladin. We have to continue. We’re much closer than I thought we’d be by now.” Ingram assured him as she brought him towards the far end of the lowest level. He gulped and followed her at a slow pace, it was as if his legs had forgotten how to move.

The synths above were most likely confused and alarmed, they’d take ages to catch up with them, or just assume they were dead. Jacob hoped that the Institute didn’t know how Power Armor worked, even if that was extremely unlikely and most likely wrong. He just wanted one thing to go right for him, at least. He followed Proctor Ingram down into a small, unlit stair shaft that led to a dark door that needed another swipe with the keycard. Jacob passed it to her and she slid it through the slot with a ‘click’. The moment the door opened, Jacob felt a wave of warmth hit him. They had made it to the reactor in much less time than Ingram had originally predicted, which meant he would be out of here in no time.

Jacob was thankful, and Ingram must have been as well, given her pace had quickened as they stepped into the huge reactor room. The warmth was undeniable, most likely from the 200 years of radiating energy staying in one underground, sealed off room. 

The reactor room was huge, with long aisles of consoles and computers that controlled anything and everything. The reactor room itself was separated by a thick glass window, guarding the people in the control room from the high levels of radiation bubbling inside. Everything was bright blue, and occasionally a shot of a lighting-like substance would hit the glass with a loud bang, sending a startled shiver down Jacob’s spine. He wasn’t concerned, he had survived walking in the Glowing Sea for a day or two, this couldn’t be that bad. His geiger counter was already beginning to click, not at an alarming rate of course, he was still in the green. Ingram stepped up to the console before her and blew the dust off of the ancient keyboards.

“She should still be working, you can get in there and grab the agitator yourself, while I regulate everything from here.” She instructed, pointing towards a magnet sealed door that led into the main reactor room. 

“Yes ma’am. You sure there aren’t any security systems you should shut off?” He asked.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine, Jacob. If you’re so worried I’ll run a short check before you head in.” Ingram offered with a raised eyebrow. Jacob hesitated, he really didn’t want to be too much of a bother already.

“No, nevermind, it’s fine. Open the doors and I’ll head inside.” He placed a hand on the reactor door and waited expectantly. Ingram shrugged and let the door slide open and shut Jacob inside the first room. He was sprayed with a cleaning fluid for a few moments, and the doors at the end of the room finally opened.

Jacob didn’t know high radiation levels, what he experienced in the Glowing Sea was child's play compared to this. His geiger counter spiked into red, the clicking was almost deafening, he winced back a little under his helmet to guard his ears from the sounds. But, he had to continue walking. He looked out the window at Ingram, who was signalling him to hurry up and get the agitator. She was right, he trudged along the catwalk with heavy steps. How was he already out of breath? He felt slow and sluggish, like the radiation was a weight he had tied around his feet. He pushed through and made it to the top of the reactor, he pressed the red button in a hurry and unsheathed the Beryllium Agitator from it’s compartment. 

The agitator was encased in a capsule of thick glass and metal tubing, most likely indestructible, it looked untouched after the 200 years, pristine and perfect. He held his breath for a moment, almost amazed by it’s bright blue glow. Ingram yelled through the glass, it was something he couldn’t understand from the muffling, but it shook him out of his trance and dragged him back to the still open doors back into the control room. He was sprayed, and the sluggish feeling fell away as if a veil was lifted. He sighed and stepped back into the control room. He was welcomed by Ingram, who took the agitator with a smile.

“That was faster than I thought it would be, seriously, we must be lucky.” She chuckled, taking a bag out from a larger compartment in her power armor to pack away the thing.

“Well, the armor saved our asses. If we didn’t have these, one of us would be dead.” Jacob pointed out, watching her carefully zip the agitator into the padded bag.

“True!” She hooked the bag over her shoulder and secured it down. “You ready to head back?”

“Ready as ever,” Jacob began to walk back up the stairs of the control room and back to the stairwell. It had gone fast, Jacob couldn't help but feel uneasy as he stepped over runed bits of wall. Nothing in his life had been easy the past few months, there was no possible way life had given him one easy job, right? 

Maybe he was just lucky this time, maybe he would be able to go back to the Prydwen and finally get some rest. Then, just as the tension began to leave his shoulders, the doorway to the stairwell shut off with extending metal plates, and alarms began to ring. His hand grabbed the rifle on his side and aimed at nothing… Ingram stepped back towards the control console to try and get the doors open again. That was when the robots started stepping from hidden places under the stairs.

Jacob stepped back, his heart jumping in his chest. Ingram yelled something from the computers but he didn’t hear her, he was more focused on the giant, glowing sentry bot that rolled from a now open space in the wall. He swore, jumping back from the bot and running around to get a good shot at it’s back. He could hear feverish typing at the computer behind. Jacob squeezed the trigger while aimed at the back of the sentry. He had heard lasers would overheat it if it was shot enough times. He ducked behind the railing of the stairs and reloaded quickly before scanning the area. His breath was caught in his throat, and Ingram was still hovered over the computer in a panic, which meant right now it was just him. He took a deep breath and aimed, firing his rifle again with a squeeze of the trigger. It hit the sentry in it’s fuse box and the old lid popped open, leaving the fusion core open. He took a long, deep breath, and committed to doing somehow the stupidest thing in his entire life.

He grabbed onto his rifle, took a running leap, and bashed the guard of the rifle directly into the gut of the sentry.

Sparks flew, the heat was unbearable and indescribable. He felt the gloves of his power armor heating around his hands, and when the sentry exploded he flew back and hit the wall of the reactor room with a clash, his head hit the back of his helmet, and everything went completely white.

-

Weird. He’s been here before. Again, he felt as if he was floating, as if he couldn’t breath. He wasn’t afraid of it anymore, right now he felt good. He felt at peace. He felt like he was falling. And of course, when all things fall they have to hit the ground. And when he did, he woke up with a jolt.

His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, his body was held down by a sheet of metal from the sentry bot. He winced and blinked, staring at the flashing display in his helmet. The glass had been shattered, which meant the helmet was unusable in its current state. He pushed the metal off of him with a creak of damaged power armor joints. He reached up and took off his helmet, setting it aside so he could see as he hauled his damaged body up from the ground. Jacob scanned his surroundings as his heart began to slow…

The sentry had destroyed the place. Of course, the reactor was fine, that glass was indestructible, but the computers had been cleared out, and were now sparking and smoking with an intensity that would surely cause some sort of fire. Jacob sighed, he really couldn’t be subtle, could he? Wait- Where was the proctor? His heart began to race again as he walked through the ruins, looking for the familiar power armor frame.

When he saw her, his heart dropped. A thick piece of machinery had been stabbed through her stomach, she was bleeding rapidly, pinned down in between the last two aisles of computers. Jacob let out a panicked noise and quickly got out of his power armor to run to her. Jacob began pushing metal out of the way with a heave, but she shushed him. Thank god, she was still awake.

“Oh my god, Ingram-” He stammered. “Shit. Shit, okay, I can get you off of that thing, we can call a vertibird, you’ll be okay you just need-” 

“Hey, be quiet will you?” She said through gritted teeth. “I’m fine, you’re the one that’s beat up-”

“Beat up?? You have a piece of metal sticking out of you!! I’m sorry if you take priority here, proctor.” Jacob argued.

“Jacob it’s my time, you know that. Trust me when I say this isn’t my first dance with death.” She sighed heavily and looked down at herself. “Just calm down and talk to me,”

Jacob took a deep breath. He wasn’t calm, the proctor was dying. “You’re dying,” He told her.

“Mhm.” She nodded slightly. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for this, this is all my fault.”

“Hey, stop that.” She shushed him again. “You’re an adult, Jacob. It’s time you learn that just because things happen around you doesn’t mean they’re your fault.” Ingram began to explain with a wheezed breath. “Things happen, life is fucked. None of it is your responsibility. The only thing you can control is how you react to it.”

Jacob went silent after that. She was right, honestly, he had been blaming himself for everything that had happened since the bombs dropped. He didn’t tell Kellogg to kill Nora, he didn’t make Danse a synth, and he made the decision to keep him alive. Ingram smiled slightly at his silence.

“Jacob, I want you to promise me one thing,” She said, her voice now slightly quieter. She was getting closer to death.

“Yeah?”

“Whatever happens, whether the Brotherhood wins or loses, make the right choice. I don’t give a shit what that means for you, but make the right one. Just…” Her voice began to trail off. “Just don’t die… can’t have… another good soldier dying…”

Jacob looked at her in disbelief. “... okay Ingram, I promise.” His voice caught up in his throat, tears threatening to escape his eyes.

And with that, Ingram died. Jacob couldn’t not cry, tears ran down the burn on his cheek as he rummaged through her armor and fished out her set of holotags. This wasn’t the first person to die around him, but he knew it wouldn’t be the last. He stood up and straightened his back, reaching up to wipe his tears. He needed to leave, but he couldn’t face Elder Maxson now. As he stepped back into his damaged power armor and hung the agitator over his shoulder, he only knew of one place to go. He left as fast as he could and trudged north east towards Danse’s bunker. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I finished this chapter. It's much longer, and my writing abilities still aren't perfect, but I'm glad I managed to at least find some time to write it out. Here you go, also, I'm really sorry I killed off a character, I promise to go to therapy instead next time lol
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to send me an ask or get updates on chapters and other works. I also reblog a lot of stuff, if you want that as well.


	32. December 12th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob runs to Danse in his time of need, looking for comfort. He gets it, and in the process he talks to someone he didn't think he would ever speak to again.

Jacob watched Danse carefully wrap thin bandages around his singed hands with a blank and occupied stare. The silence between them was palpable, neither of them had even tried to start a conversation since Jacob stumbled down into Danse’s bunker a sad and sorry mess. No explanation had been given, and apparently none was needed, as Danse insisted on tending to Jacob’s wounds. The bunker had changed slightly since his last visit, there were more scavenged materials scattered around, Danse was even wearing different clothes. The darkened teal mechanic’s jumpsuit was a fitting replacement for the BOS uniform that sat carefully folded under the bed that the two of them were currently sitting on. Jacob found his eyes trailing up to Danse’s face. The bags under his eyes were far less prominent, his hair now pushed back and trimmed like it had been on the Prydwen. 

Danse caught Jacob’s gaze and sighed softly to himself. When their eyes locked Jacob’s ears flushed red and he looked down at the floor. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” Danse offered, his voice now soft and low. He was trying to comfort and assure Jacob, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel calm after what happened tonight, all on his watch.

“Ingram is dead.” He blurted out. Jacob winced at his own statement, he really could have said that better, he was such an idiot. The look of shock on Danse’s face was proof enough.

The silence hung heavy throughout the room, Danse blinked and stared down at Jacob, now clutching his damaged hands. Jacob winced, but didn’t move his hands away. Danse’s shoulders sunk, the ex-paladin looked devastated. She was his friend for almost 7 years and now she was dead, and Danse didn’t have the ability to say goodbye. Those two knew everything about each other from before Jacob stepped onto the Prydwen, his power armor was built and maintained by Ingram. Jacob could imagine that kind of grief, and he’d be able to help if he only knew how to get through that grief himself.

“I’m sorry-” Jacob began, but Danse interrupted.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Danse insisted, his voice quiet and restrained.

“That’s not what I meant…” Jacob looked away. “I meant I was sorry for your loss.” 

The silence came again, the two looked back at each other yet again. Danse’s grief was visible through his eyes, Jacob just squeezed both of Danse’s hands as some sort of comfort. The ex-paladin didn’t say anything back, he just closed his eyes, lowered his head, and let loose a slow sigh. The two had no idea how to get past their own personal losses, for now, they would have to figure everything out together. 

Danse allowed Jacob to stay that night, like they had the last time Jacob visited. This time however, Jacob didn’t sleep on the floor, right now he laid in bed with Danse, the ex-paladin’s large arm pressed around his back. Jacob leaned his head gently on Danse’s shoulder. Danse was warm, far warmer than Jacob anticipated. He almost felt guilty for having notoriously cold fingertips, as Nora had always complained. Neither of them said anything, the darkness enveloping them like a comforting blanket. However, they both couldn’t sleep, eyes still half opened, either staring up at the ceiling or at one specific split seam on Danse’s worn jumpsuit. Jacob sighed rather softly, leaning into Danse’s warmth and trying to close his eyes. The ex-paladin glanced down, Jacob could feel those gentle eyes on the back of his neck. He didn’t feel uneasy though, he felt safe. When sleep continued to tease him, Jacob opened his eyes and carefully rolled onto his back, now pressed close to Danse on the bare bed.

“Danse?” He mumbled, his voice worn out and tired from only briefly dozing off. Danse hummed slightly in response, opening his eyes half way to look over at Jacob. “Have you ever been in love.”

“Uh.” Danse blinked. The question clearly caught him off guard, he took a moment to ponder it and replied honestly, “I’m not sure.”

“Yeah,” Jacob sighed heavily and leaned his head against Danse. “I don’t know either. I guess we’re both pretty clueless.”

“Mhm.” Danse agreed.

“You know, I really can’t stop thinking about you up on the Prydwen.” Jacob continued. Danse softly chuckled, only briefly. “It’s true. You make it hard to get work done, hard to focus.” He paused. “I miss you.”

“I miss you as well,” Danse replied. “Believe me when I say that all I do down here is wait for you to return.”

Jacob thought for a moment, formulating his response. This next question was risky, he wasn’t sure if Danse was going to agree or not. He took a deep breath and said, “When all of this is over, when the war is finished, I want to run off with you. Maybe somewhere North, somewhere the Brotherhood can’t touch.”

Danse clearly hesitated, Jacob could feel his shoulders stiffen at the prospect.

“If you’re worried about my job, I’ll be fine. I can’t work with those people anymore, especially after what they did to you.” 

Danse thought. Jacob glanced up at him and caught him looking over the silhouette of his bunker in the darkness. When they locked eyes again, Danse merely nodded. The faintest smile spread over his face, maybe he was happy at the prospect of running away with Jacob… 

“You should sleep,” Danse whispered, placing his hand gently in his blonde hair. Jacob allowed his body to relax, and for the first time in months, he felt himself doze off into a deep sleep.

-

The rapid beeping of his alarm clock rang in his ears as he slowly pried his eyes open, only to stare at the pristine yellow ceiling above. His body was on a cloud, all of his aches and bruises felt like absolutely nothing. Jacob let loose a grumble and leaned over the edge of his bed to slam the alarm clock, and get it to stop making such a damn racket. As he examined the room, he realized he was home. A soft sigh escaped him, thank god, he had a strange dream all night, and none of it was pleasant. However, the blurry memories of his dream faded away the moment he crawled out of his bed and took a look around the room. The man pushed his hair back and stretched. He saw his clothes laid out over the dresser and smiled to himself. Nora must be in the kitchen making coffee, like she always did in the morning. He thought through his day, today was saturday, the bright light shining through the parted drapes was enough evidence for that fact. This meant that Jacob had no plans, and he didn’t need to shave. He changed and stepped out of their bedroom, walking down the hall.

He felt… strange. Like something didn’t belong, like he was floating in a dream that didn’t make sense, a reality that he couldn’t touch or feel. But that was stupid, he could feel the soft socks on his feet, the uncomfortable feeling of a pressed, clean button up against a tight-fitting undershirt, the slightly itchy sensation of a new pair of slacks. This was all normal, the stirring in his gut was just paranoia, he ought to get back in contact with his therapist.

When he saw her, he couldn’t help but smile. His closest friend in the world, and his wife. Nora. Her long black hair was tied back in a tight ponytail, as usual. Her face had carefully applied mascara and lipstick, and not much else. She didn’t find a need for much else, Jacob didn’t complain. She snickered at him and set a cup of coffee down on the counter.

“What?” He looked down at himself and realized he had put his slacks on backwards. “Oh-” 

“Goof.” She giggled. “Are you going to go fix that? We don’t have any plans.”

“I’ll be fine! I’ll drink my coffee and read the paper first, then I’ll just… fix that.”

“I don’t know how you manage even getting yourself in either leg.” She shook her head and walked around the counter towards the couch to sit down and open her book. Jacob grabbed the paper from the counter and opened it up to read the front page headline.

That was when he realized… he couldn’t read. Well, that sounded wrong. What he meant is that the text didn’t make any sense. The title didn’t have coherence, as if every word was chosen at random, fished from deep in his subconscious. Even the date was ridiculous.  _ “December 13th, 2287”.  _ He squinted at the words and rubbed at his eyes. Nora glanced over and chuckled.

“You really are a deep sleeper, aren’t you.” Her face spread into a smile. “Can’t even tell this is a dream.”

“What?” His heart dropped. That’s when he remembered, he was supposed to be below, in the bunker. It really was 2287, and Nora, she was dead. He lowered the paper and looked at the flashing television. None of the words on the ads and headlines made sense, like someone had picked them out of a hat. His heartbeat quickened, Nora stood up and walked towards him.

“Jacob, hey, it’s going to be okay.” She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay,”

“But- I-” He stammered, stumbling over his words. They locked eyes, and suddenly he felt calm.

“How about you sit down,” Nora offered with a patient smile. He nodded and slumped down on the couch. Nora set herself next to him, with a hand on his knee.

“You’ve done a lot, haven’t you?” She began, speaking softly to calm him down.

“... not enough.”

She shook her head and gave him a look. Her brows raised in concern and her eyes bored into his soul. She had always done it when he said something bad about himself, it was something he missed, he realized.

“I didn’t save Shaun, like I promised.” Jacob admitted. This part was true, she couldn’t prove him wrong with that statement.

Nora chuckled and merely replied, “Jacob Roberts, you don’t need to fulfill any promise to me.”

“... what am I even supposed to do,” Jacob looked at her, pleading for an answer. He needed a purpose, a reason to keep pushing through the hell that was his life.

“I just want you to be happy.” She said. Jacob blinked and watched her get up from the couch and walk towards the hallway. “Come on,” She said softly. Jacob stood up and followed her loyally, willing to do anything just to see her face for a few moments longer.

They made it to Shaun’s bedroom, the one he had painted and decorated himself, Nora placed her hand on the doorknob and carefully pushed it open, revealing the hidden Bunker that Danse had called home for almost 5 days. The white light of his home lit the bunker eerily, casting a spotlight on his and Danse’s sleeping forms. Despite everything, the two men were fast asleep together. Danse had his arms held tight around Jacob, as if to keep him safe and in one place. He felt out of breath just watching, like he was floating on air. Nora watched with a small, bittersweet smile on her face.

“Jacob, you’ve found the key to your happiness. You just need to find the door.” She said simply, stepping away from him towards the elevator in the corner of the room. Jacob watched her leave, tears forming in his eyes.

“Nora, where are you going…?” He asked, she only smiled at him with her perfect lips… the skin wrinkling around her deep brown eyes.

“Jacob, I’ve been dead for a very long time.” She told him. Tears ran down Jacob’s face as he watched her press the elevator button. “You don’t need to prove anything to me to find your worth. You’ve done enough being my best friend, and the best husband anyone could ask for.” The elevator doors opened and Jacob watched as golden light shined from the crack in the parting doors. Nora turned to face him one last time. “I should go. When you make it up here, introduce me to Danse, will you? I would love to meet him.”

Jacob wiped his eyes with a swipe of his wrist. 

“Goodbye Jacob.” Nora said finally, stepping into the glowing elevator. As the doors closed, Jacob watched.

“Goodbye Nora.” He whispered. When the elevator closed, the room was encased in darkness, and Jacob awoke from sleep.

Danse is still fast asleep, with his arms wrapped around his waist and his face tucked into the nape of his neck… Jacob sighed softly and closed his eyes again, deciding to sleep.

He fell asleep again, this time with a bittersweet smile on his face.

-

Jacob was the first to finally wake up, however, he stayed in the warmth of Danse for a few more minutes. The man emanated a comforting heat that Jacob just couldn’t describe, a feeling that felt akin to home, no matter how far away he was from it. He watched Danse’s face as he slept, so serene and calm, so unlike Danse’s usually pensive and thoughtful expression. Jacob wouldn’t complain, both options were appealing. As his eyes slowly opened and he roused from sleep, Jacob couldn’t help but smile. After his dream, Jacob felt at least 10 pounds lighter. He didn’t know if the real Nora had spoken to him, or if that was just his subconscious, but he was thankful to be assured in such a way. He didn’t feel chained to the wedding bands still sitting in the pocket of his bag, waiting to be finally touched by someone who deserved it.

Jacob felt himself sit up and reach for said bag, almost on instinct. Danse grumbled in objection, now lying on his back and squinting into the dark.

“Morning,” Jacob whispered. Danse hummed in response. “Shut your eyes, I’m turning the lights on.” He warned. Danse did as he was told, and the underground generator through the wall buzzed to life, the lights flickered on and the whole bunker was lit up in artificial light. Danse shielded his eyes and groaned, Jacob watched curiously.

“Goddamnit-” Danse grumbled.

“I’ve never seen you wake up grumpy, did you know that?”

“Well my internal clock hasn’t been the same in days.” Danse sighed heavily, slightly opening his eyes and moving to sit up. The two men looked at each other, Jacob smiled and Danse smiled back very slightly.

“I uh…” Jacob looked away briefly and dug through his bag. “I have something for you.” He admitted. “It probably doesn’t fit, but it’s worth a try.” He took out one of the wedding bands. The thing still glittered even after months stuffed into an old military bag. Danse stared at the thing with wide eyes.

“Jacob… you know we can’t-”

“I’m not asking you to marry me. Think of it more as… a promise ring.” Jacob clarified, passing the ring to Danse. “I promise I’m going to come back, and we can run North.”

Danse looked down at the ring as it sat in the center of his palm. The man frowned slightly and looked back at Jacob.

“You’re going to storm the Institute today, aren’t you.”

Damnit, Danse was smart. Jacob merely sighed and nodded slightly.

“And you know I would have supported you, you didn’t need to trick me.” Danse continued.

“I didn’t want you to worry-”

“I was going to worry anyway, Jacob. I worry every moment you’re gone.” Danse sighed and slipped the golden band onto his ring finger. It was only a little too small, but it still looked perfectly at home on his finger. It felt right… Danse was the only person alive who deserved this, and he knew that with all of his heart. Jacob slipped the other onto his own ring finger. It fit into place, like an old glove he hadn’t touched in years. This time it didn’t feel like a weight tied to his hand, but something with meaning again, something he could look at and feel pride. 

“I will help you pack,” Danse decided, getting up from the bed.

“Thank you so much-”

“On one condition…” The man added. “... you had better come back, do you understand?”

Jacob laughed and nodded. “I promise, Danse.”

They leaned in at the same time, when their lips connected it felt as if different fireworks went off in Jacob’s heart. The last one’s were out of grief, a final goodbye given in a desperate moment. Right now, Jacob was in love. Jacob was in love again, and he was going to do anything to make sure it lasted. Even if that meant destroying the Institute.

They parted ways and got to work preparing for war. Jacob had everything he would need, the ring pressed into his finger under his leather glove, his rifle was attached to his back along with a packed bag of supplies. The Beryllium Agitator sat in it’s bag, strapped over his shoulder securely. 

“What about your power armor, soldier?” He pointed at the set in the corner, Danse’s original frame and armor, slightly damaged from the previous day. Jacob merely smiled.

“That was never mine, Danse. We have plenty on the Prydwen.” He gestured to the power armor set, signaling that it had now changed possession.

“You mean-” Danse looked shocked, thankful too.

“Yes. Take care of it.” Jacob laughed and pressed the elevator button, already on his way to leave.

They said their final goodbyes, and when Jacob took his first step out of that bunker, he knew the weight of the world hung in the balance. If he did not win this war, people would die,  _ Danse _ would die. He didn’t need to fulfill anyone’s promise, but Jacob knew that in order to achieve his happy ending, he would need to win this painful war. Taking it one day at a time had kept him alive up until now, and he was not going to take that lightly. The pip-boy on his arm felt like a part of him, and the ring on his finger gave him a sense of power he thought he had forgotten. 

He trudged through the forest towards where he knew a Brotherhood vertibird would be able to land, ready to tell Elder Maxson about the coming victory. 

But he wasn’t doing this for the Brotherhood, he was doing this for his family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, some parts are weaker than others. Ah well, it isn't like I've proofread this thing much anyway, not gonna start here.
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage if you want to see my thoughts, fanfic updates, and my random reblogs.


	33. December 13th, 2287

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paladin Roberts has a private conversation with Elder Maxson.

Why is Boston so damn cold?

Jacob felt the shiver through his chest as he trembled in the cold of the Vertibird cabin, the layer of thick powered armor no longer there to protect him from the harsh cold. He held the cylindrical bag that held the agitator over his lap, reduced to staring at the floor of the aircraft, and focused on the chattering of his teeth. His main focus, at least mentally, was not dwelling too much on the fact that he would soon change the course of history forever in just a day or two. He’ll have to kill his son for the sake of his own gain, his own happiness. Why was everything so vague? Back before the bombs it felt like he at least had a direction,  _ find a wife, have kids,  _ but now he had no idea what to do. He had a goal now, he needed to find his happiness. But even then the winding and treacherous road ahead of him made him want to hold his breath in anxious fear. To say there was a single fork in the road was naive and simple, in reality, the splits in the dirt path multiplied the farther he ran along, and the more Jacob ran the worse the condition of the road became. Now, he can no longer tell where the grass ends and the dirt begins. 

The harsh crackling of the pilot’s comm system startled him out of his fearful trance, causing his shoulders to stiffen at attention. His eyes were drawn to the Prydwen looming above them. They were already here, after what felt like only a few minutes of flying. Jacob gulped rather loudly, watching the narrow flight deck as it drew closer and closer.

Jacob furrowed his brow and tried to focus. Pushing this decision off would only make it worse, he needed to focus on today instead of the rest of his life. Future Jacob would worry about that, right now, he had a war to end.

The paladin sees Lancer Captain Kells and is struck with a sudden sense of Deja Vu, it was as if he was back in October all over again, still stuck in the mindset of an idiot pre-war man of America. The captain’s eyes widened, his eyes trained on the vertibird. The man must have noticed Ingram’s… absence. Jacob frowned and hopped from the Vertibird. He met the man on the flight deck, unable to look him in the eye.

The air was silent and solemn as if Jacob did not even need to explain. However, he did anyway.

“Ingram…” Jacob began, fiddling with his knuckles as he paused to search for the next word. “She was impaled by robot shrapnel. I tried to save her, but it was too late. I brought the agitator and her holotags,” 

He didn’t apologize, he didn’t stammer for words of comfort, he merely drew the tags from his pocket and handed them to the Captain, who took them with a brief and solemn nod. The air was still as they walked along the metal flight deck. The few scribes in the area that had overheard them watched in grief-stricken respect. There was nothing to say, a Proctor had died.

The warmth of the Prydwen hit Jacob like a bus, but a jovial celebration did not follow. The loss was felt throughout the entire ship the moment word had begun to spread, Maxson was not even in his command room. The Agitator was taken from him by Quinlan, the once eloquent and calculated proctor was now speechless and grief-stricken. Jacob didn’t know their history, but Ingram had been a vital part of the Brotherhood for over a decade longer than Danse had ever been a part of the force. Jacob finds himself once again in his quarters, his head in his hands. He feels a tightness in his chest as if this is just the calm before the storm. The moment of silence before the battle. Jacob’s last chance to think over what he would even do.

The intercom crackles to life.

_ “Paladin Roberts, Elder Maxson requests your attention in his personal office. Report immediately.”  _

His heart sped for a moment, the paladin lifted his face from his hands. The time was now, from this point on his decisions were truly final. He was going to do what he thought was right to the best of his ability. Jacob stood and wiped his eyes, then walked towards Maxson’s personal office with his head held as high as he could manage.

Jacob had never been to Maxson’s office, briefings were always done in the command room, so this was clearly serious. This meeting was clearly intended to be secret. Maxson’s office was bigger than Jacob’s own quarters, and the ceiling did not open up into the rest of the Prydwen. No, Maxson’s office was a solid box of metal, the only thing audible past the metal walls were footsteps and the quiet murmurs of speech from a distance away. A set of thin stairs went up to what was supposedly Maxson’s own quarters, set vertically behind Maxson’s desk. The room forked off briefly into walls lined with shelves. Every corner of those walls was covered in Brotherhood of Steel paraphernalia. Metals, old helmets, guns, books of note, photos of historic wars, and Brotherhood of Steel flags. The flags were the same shades of faded orange and blue, the same gears, sword, and wings in multiple iterations. Photos of Elders lined the walls leading to the Elder’s desk. One man after the other, some had beards, some were clean-shaven. Young and old, visibly grizzled or gentle, and then there was Elder Maxson. His photo was set on the wall behind his desk. And just below it sat the real man, flesh and blood. A few years had passed since that photo was taken, back then, Maxson looked wide-eyed and determined, the scar on his cheek still freshly stitched shut, his face only able to produce a small stubble. The man below looked grizzled and ruthless, more terrifying than all of the previous elder’s combined.

“Sit.” Maxson articulated, gesturing to a small chair on the other side of his desk. This chair was smaller than the Elder’s, a show of power. Nevertheless, Jacob took a seat and looked Maxson in the eye.

“Sir,” Jacob addressed.

“You may be wondering why I called you here,” The elder began.

“Of course sir, I’ve never heard of a briefing being performed here,” Jacob replied smoothly. He chose his words carefully, he had to remain on his toes.

“I will be honest in saying that I don’t trust you,” Maxson stated. “Not in the slightest, especially after your show of faith during the incident with Paladin Danse. I jumped through a lot of hoops to keep you on the Prydwen, and I debated if the sacrifice was worth it for quite a while after that.” Jacob’s jaw tightened anxiously. This would either go well, or horribly. “But,”  _ Thank god. _ “You have proven yourself, despite my own predictions. I entrusted you with finding the railroad, and although you did not catch them in the act, you found their base when none of my best men could. You brought the Beryllium Agitator to us, ensuring our victory against the Institute. You handled Proctor Ingram’s demise professionally, and you brought her holotags so we could properly respect her memory.” 

Jacob nodded slightly, his eyes darting towards the surface of the desk. He wished Ingram’s death was not a point of his heroism, that was no heroic decision. What happened in the reactor room was what he had to do, nothing more.

“And so I have an offer for you,” Maxson continued. “I want you to lead my men into battle, you will walk with Liberty Prime to the ruins of the Commonwealth Institute of Technology. You will become the face of the Brotherhood of Steel, a hero for decades to come.”

Jacob stared at the Elder.

“Do you accept my offer?” Maxson asked, looking back at him expectantly.

This offer sounded familiar. It was the same offer he was given back before the war before he was even married. When he was just a college dropout, with nothing to go off of but his years in a military family. The idea of being a hero, serving his country, making his father proud, those were all so tantalizing. They were only supported by posters and cartoons, the idea that he could become a true all-American hero felt so real. Reality had hit him like a train when he was young, and now he was sitting with his supervisor over 200 years later being asked the same thing. The difference between then and now was that Jacob finally had a choice, and he finally knew what would make him happy.

“No.”

Maxson’s eyes widened in surprise. “No?” He repeated.

“No.” Jacob nodded, now convinced.

“You can’t just drop out of a war, Jacob.” Maxson spat, very suddenly angry. The man has never had his offer outright denied, surrounded by soldiers that worship the ground he walks on.

“I’m not dropping out of a war, Elder.” Jacob remained calm. “But I refuse to lead the army into battle. There are men stronger and more capable than me. I will fight alongside you, I will take down the Institute, but I will not be given the responsibility of an army.” 

Maxson’s anger subsides, now replaced with pure surprise. “I am… taken aback by your refusal. But I will respect it.” The Elder decided with a slight hesitance behind his words. “I expect to see you in battle, soldier.”

“Of course, Elder,” Jacob replied.

“You may leave, prepare for battle.  _ Ad Victorium _ , soldier.” 

_ “Ad Victorium.” _ Jacob pulled himself up from his seat and saluted the Elder. When he turned to leave, he still felt the cold eyes of Elder Maxson on the back of the neck. However, those were not eyes filled with rage and disdain. Now, the elder was surprised and confused. Jacob couldn’t help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and that's intentional. I wanted to write something short and sweet before the behemoth that's going to be the next few chapters. The "calm before the storm" stuff is evident in the story and on the writer's side, I'm going to plan so much I will get a headache. Wish me luck. (don't worry I'm still having fun)
> 
> My tumblr is @charybdis-nerdrage. I post some stuff there, but right now it's mostly reblogs and one or two posts about my fanfics. If you're into that have at it.


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